The power, p.16
The Power, page 16
Adrian stepped back, pulling Lucy’s arms from around him. “Okay, need a time-out,” he gasped.
“Uh, yeah,” Lucy mumbled.
Okay, Jackie. I am aligned. I will crawl into his bed and stay there. Sounds good. Let’s do that. Right now, she thought.
It must have shown on her face.
Adrian gave her a sheepish smile. “There’s a small, impressionable child asleep in the other room. It’s not even dinner time.”
“Yeah,” Lucy said, nodding, not looking at him. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment.
“I didn’t mean for that—” he started.
“Later?” she asked.
“Later,” he agreed, eyes flashing with heat. “Remind me to never again make fun of Jake and Matty.”
“Huh?” she asked.
“Okay, I will absolutely still make fun of them, but not as much.” He laughed as he started telling her the story.
Ree woke up to the sound of Aunt Lucy laughing hysterically.
“NOTHING is sacred to you people. NOTHING!” She cackled.
“They were in an office with intentionally thin walls with no sound-blocking insulation! They spend all day, every day throwing tennis balls at the walls to irritate each other. Sometimes Sam attends meetings in Jake’s office without leaving his desk!” Adrian laughed.
Ree wandered into the kitchen, still waking up. “Uncle Jake has a pool table in his office.”
“OH MY GOD!” Lucy yelled, laughing again.
13
William was making hamburger patties when his doorbell rang on Wednesday night.
“I need to know what you love, Will,” Sam said as the door opened.
Will sighed. Sam had been asking this question every hour on the hour since Sunday night. Including in the middle of the night.
“Sam, I swear to God. I would tell you if I understood what you were after. I need a better question to help,” Will said. Again.
“I need to know. I need it, Will. I can’t think straight until I know. I don’t know why. It’s imperative, and I need to know. It’s just you and me here. Can you tell me now? I won’t tell anyone. I just need to know,” Sam begged.
“When did you last eat, Sam?” Will asked, looking at his little brother. His eyes were sunken. “When did you last sleep?”
Distracted, Sam had to think for a minute. “I had macaroni and cheese for lunch when we had lunch.”
“That was Monday, Sam. Come on. I’m making hamburgers,” Will said gently. “We’ll eat and try to figure out what you need to know.”
“I don’t think I can eat them anymore,” Sam replied, eyes glassy.
That startled William. Sam usually ate with him, ate his food. “Why?”
“It tastes like fear, even when you put Fear away. I can still taste it now. It didn’t use to be like this.” Confusion and frustration were apparent in Sam’s voice.
“Since Jake moved out?” Will asked.
“Before that. It started getting worse before that but got much worse after he moved out and even worse after I answered Matty’s call. I can’t find the girl now. Even in dreams, I can’t find her. She has to pull me to her. I can’t go to her. Something’s wrong with it.”
“Wrong with what, Sam? What is there something wrong with? Come on, let’s sit down. We’ll talk through it together, okay?”
Will and Sam didn’t talk about weird shit. He was surprised that Sam knew about the fear. This was the first one-on-one conversation they’d ever had about the girl.
Hank and Darla thought the girl wasn’t real, that she was a figment of Sam’s weird brain, like it made up a dream friend for Sam to talk to in the nightmares.
But, Will had no doubt whatsoever that the girl was real. He had looked for violet-eyed girls and Wile E. Coyote in every bar he’d ever been in, across the globe.
The terror radiating off Sam was tangible to William. He tried to pull it away from Sam and into himself but couldn’t. He’d never been able to help Sam, even as kids.
“You’ll talk with me about this? It doesn’t give you the creeps?” Sam asked.
Will’s eyebrows shot up. “Does it give you the creeps?”
“Holy God, yes. Daily,” Sam admitted.
Will shrugged. “Me, too. We’ll be fine. What is something wrong with Sam? Go back to that.”
“With me. With whatever this is with me. I can’t stay in one time anymore. I don’t always know when it is or where I am. I used to be able to stay. I could force it to stay in one time. But now there’s more, and I can’t make it stop. Like I’m in a lot of times at once, and none of it makes sense,” Sam whispered.
“Can you eat in the other times?” Will asked.
Sam shook his head. “My body’s not there. I’m just visiting.”
“Are you hungry?” Will asked.
“I’m so hungry. So tired. But I can’t find the girl, and everyone suffocates, Will. I can’t rest because everyone dies.”
Holy fuck. I thought my lot in life was hard. I spent all this time worrying about Adrian. Fuck. Poor Sam, William thought.
“Can you eat food that you make, Sam?”
“Not anymore. It tastes like terror, pain, and hunger. Jake’s food tastes like Matty’s campfire. Ethan’s food isn’t happy anymore. Adrian’s food is angry—”
“Still angry? Even with Lucy there?” Will interrupted.
Sam paused. “I don’t know.”
Holy God in Heaven, how do I help him? Terror and Pain and Hunger and suffocating dreams. How is he still sane?
“Okay. Mom? Dad? Beth? Luke? Matthew?” Will asked.
“Luke won’t help. He won’t answer my questions, either,” Sam said, eyes sad again.
“Sam, I know Luke would cook for you. Have you asked him?”
Sam sighed. “I make him wary. He’s worried people are going to hurt me. I don’t know why. He avoids me. It’s why I moved seats at dinner. I wanted to talk to him.
“Matthew—no. He is afraid of me. Afraid of himself. Afraid of everything. Can you do that thing?” Sam asked.
Will was puzzled. “I don’t feel fear from him, Sam. I’ll see if I can find it, okay?”
Sam nodded. “Beth’s heart hurts. Dad is terrified for Mom. Mom’s love tastes like medicine. Do you know what’s wrong with Mom?”
Will sighed. “I was going to ask you that. Okay. If I wore gloves while making your food, and thought of nothing but what I love in life, do you think you could eat? Can we try it?”
“Okay. Thank you, William.” Sam sounded defeated.
Usually so self-assured, confident of what should and should not happen, seeing Sam vulnerable and lost made Will more than a little afraid for the future.
Twenty minutes later, Will watched as Sam literally gagged on his burger.
“The cow was sick. The cow was sick and suffering. They didn’t treat it. Is this our meat?”
William nodded.
“Do you still have the packaging? We have to find this farm. It was horrible. Horrible pain. Oh God.” Sam ran to the bathroom.
Sam couldn’t eat after that.
“Stay here tonight. Stay with me. Maybe it’ll be easier with me here,” Will said.
Sam nodded. “William, what do you love? It might help.”
William sighed. “I love Mom. I love Dad—”
“No. It’s a what, not a who. What do you love?” Sam insisted.
“I love my family. I love my friends. I love dogs. Warm sun on my face. Italian Beef sandwiches. My country. My home…”
Will stopped listing things after Sam nodded off. Twenty minutes later, when his cell phone vibrated, Will headed into the back bedroom, as far as he could get from Sam. He didn’t want to disturb the rest that was so badly needed.
“Hello, love,” he said quietly.
“Woo, why are we whispering?” Pip whispered back.
Will sighed. “Sam is sleeping on the couch. I don’t want to wake him.”
“Did he eat with you?” she asked, still quiet because he was whispering.
“No, I made burgers tonight. I wasn’t expecting him. The cow was in too much pain. It fucked him over.”
“What about fruits and vegetables? Organic fruits and veggies? No pesticides or anything. No animal life involved. He could even eat them raw,” she suggested.
“I tried that last week. Made vegan pasta. He could taste the decay in the soil. Over the years, he’s actually had an easier time with meat and grains than fruits and veggies.”
“Did he figure out what you love?”
“No, I don’t know what to do with that,” he admitted. “I keep thinking it’s you, but he keeps telling me it’s a what, not a who.”
Sam fell asleep on William’s couch, listening to the sound of Will’s calm voice.
He dreamed of the house with ever-changing views.
Thinking about Will’s question of eating in other times, Sam went to see if there was food in the kitchen. It never occurred to him to look before. He had never tried eating in other times, either, but didn’t think he could.
There was no food in the kitchen.
It’s a dream. Can I put food in the kitchen? Sam wondered, thinking about peanut butter and jelly.
No such luck.
There was a sound from the living room. There had never been a sound in this dream before. Sam went to go look.
The girl was standing in the middle of the room, looking confused. When she saw him, she ran for him, hugging him tightly.
She couldn’t talk. Had never been able to speak. But, when she touched him, her thoughts were clear.
“Where are we?” she asked, amazed.
“The house with the changing views. How are you here?” Sam asked.
“I don’t know. I was in the clearing, trying to find you. Then I heard love call, and I was here,” she said. “You are sick?”
“Hungry. Tired. I think I’m broken now. I think I went to Matilda when she called, and now I’m broken.”
She shook her head. “No. You woke more. More of you is awake. Not all of you, not yet. Not even half. But more of you. You need a tether. An anchor. Like the clearing for me. You need that.”
“How do I make that?” he asked.
She thought about it, brow furrowed. “I don’t know. I will ask Mama. But she and I are of Life. We tether to Earth. You are of Time, constantly moving. I don’t know how to tether time. I don’t know if you can.”
“Why can’t I eat? Even raw vegetables? It makes me sick,” Sam asked, talking quickly. Sometimes dreams with the girl ended abruptly.
She sighed and nodded. “For me, too. There is too much power. You have to release it.”
“How?” he asked.
Her pale violet eyes shone with tears.
“I will find you,” he promised. “Can you tell me where you are? Outside the clearing, can you tell me?”
“I don’t have the knowledge, Sam. It doesn’t come with me when Walking. The wards take it from me.”
“Why?” he asked.
“We are not the only ones to Walk, Sam. I am vulnerable without you,” she explained, not for the first time.
He nodded, bending to touch his forehead to hers. “I will find you.”
Shifting herself up just a little more, she kissed his lips.
Typically, at this point, Sam woke up abruptly, like the contact couldn’t be sustained in the dream. This time, thunder cracked and lightning flashed outside the window of the house with ever-changing views.
They both sighed in relief as some of the power eating at each of them was released.
The girl gasped. “How did that happen?! The power doesn’t work like that when Walking! Where are we?! Quick, Sam,” she said, grabbing his head again, slamming her lips against his in a deep kiss as the whole house shook around them, and the storm outside exploded.
Sam woke up, panting for breath, before the kiss ended. The morning sun was streaming in William’s living room windows. His head was clear for the first time in over a week. He headed for the fridge immediately.
On Thursday afternoon, Darla had lunch at Claire Dermot’s home. While they’d always been friendly, they were not close friends. So Darla was surprised when Claire called and asked for a lunch date. Darla agreed, suggesting a restaurant between their respective homes. Claire said she’d prefer to play host if Darla wouldn’t mind coming for a visit.
Pulling up into the mansion driveway, Darla mentally rolled her eyes, wondering if they were going to eat cucumber sandwiches served by a butler. Thomas Dermot came from old money and was used to the trappings of it. He was also a dear friend of Hank’s and one of Sam’s earliest investors. Tom and Claire were good people, but Darla still mentally rolled her eyes at the manicured grounds as she got out of the Buick she drove herself around in.
As Darla walked to the front door, Claire came out to meet her with a hug.
“Thank you so much for coming all this way, Darla. I know this must seem odd, but I wanted us to be able to talk,” Claire said as they walked into the house. “I’ve made some vegetable soup and paninis. Is that okay? We could also order in.”
“Claire, I didn’t realize you cooked! It sounds wonderful,” Darla said, surprised as they walked into a blended kitchen and dining space.
“I love to cook. I have a garden in the summer and a greenhouse throughout the year. If I had my way, we’d live on a farm. But here we are, just Tom and me in this stupid house.” Claire laughed.
Darla smiled. “You’re full of surprises today. I always thought you enjoyed this lifestyle.”
“I love my husband, and this comes with him. There are worse burdens in life,” Claire grinned. “But Tom and I have always been a bit envious of you and Hank. All those kids running around, loud and chaotic. So much happy energy, always. You’ve always brought us joy. How is everyone? Is Jake engaged yet? I met his little sprite of a girlfriend at that fundraiser. So much fire and love.”
“They got engaged a little over a week ago,” Darla said with a smile. “Adrian is seeing someone. The rest of the herd is unchanged—loud, chaotic, and mostly happy. Sam is struggling a bit, as he does every now and then. How are you? To what do I owe the pleasure of this lunch date?”
After serving soup, Claire sat next to Darla rather than on the other side of the table. Taking Darla’s hand, Claire asked, “May I be direct, Darla? I know we’re not close, but I’ve always loved you and yours.”
“Claire, of course. You and Tom have always been family to us as well. What’s wrong?” Darla gave up on trying to set her expectations for lunch. This was not at all what she had anticipated. She’d roll with it.
Claire took a deep breath. “Where is the cancer, Darla? Are they treating it?”
Darla blinked.
“I know you’re sick. I can see it in your energy. I want to offer help if I can,” Claire explained.
“Ah, I’m not sure how you know that. I’d like to understand that better, as Hank and I haven’t told a soul. Not even the kids know,” Darla said, tone sharper than she intended.
Claire sighed. “I suspect most of your children know you’re sick, Darla. But I’ll explain. You’ll think I’m nuts, but I’m being serious.
“There is energy in living things. Surely, we agree on that. Living things power their energy sources with food and water and rest. It’s what makes us alive. We talk about burning calories when working out, burning fuel for energy. With me so far?”
Darla nodded. “That doesn’t seem controversial.”
Claire grinned. “Good. Now we get to the part that will make you think I’m a lunatic.”
Darla laughed, preparing for something genuinely bizarre.
“There are some people that can see life energy. It’s typically genetic. When I try, I can see your life energy. I can see the energy you share with Hank and the love that binds you.
“Your energy has always shown bright and clear. The night of the fundraiser where I met Jake’s fiancé, your energy was duller than normal. It’s more diminished now. You’re sick. I don’t think you’re dying, but you’re seriously ill. That distinction usually means cancer.”
Darla sat in stunned silence for a moment. She had no idea what to say or do.
“I would not share this information with anyone, especially your children, Darla. As I said, I’d like to offer help if I can,” Claire said, trying to alleviate concern.
After processing things for a moment, Darla decided that she’d like to talk about this with someone other than Hank. The timing hadn’t been right to tell the kids. She’d just gotten the confirmed diagnosis a week ago. Matty was just getting out of the hospital. “I have stage three breast cancer.”
Claire’s eyes flashed with sadness but not pity. Darla was grateful for that.
“They’re treating it?” Claire asked.
“Yes, of course. It has not spread. They’re doing some treatment now, trying to shrink the tumor before doing surgery.”
Claire nodded. “Good. Very good. Excellent news. Better than I had hoped. I’m so glad they’re treating it.” She sighed in relief.
“Me, too,” Darla said. “But Claire, I’m not sure how you think you can help with this, even if you can see whatever life energy you’re talking about.”
“Oh. Yes. First, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Darla. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve never known you to exude anything but love, light, and happiness.”
Claire paused to take a deep breath, eyes misty. “Your children are beautiful; each one makes this world a better place, as you and Hank do. I wish you didn’t have to go through this.”
“Thank you, Claire,” Darla choked out, giving her hand a squeeze. “I don’t know how I’m going to tell the kids.”
Claire nodded as they each took a moment to gather themselves.
“Okay, on to the help,” Claire said briskly. “I can see the energy. Everyone in my circle can. Some of us can redistribute existing energy within the same person. Like, if you broke a bone, some of us might be able to help the break heal faster by focusing your energy at that spot. Some of us can move energy between people.
