A man i used to know, p.14
A Man I Used To Know, page 14
Casey watched and struggled earnestly to imitate her. He had a bib tied around his neck, and his plump cheeks were smeared with red sauce.
Across the table Kelly watched Lila’s technique, then twirled her fork deftly and captured a neat mouthful of spaghetti.
“That’s very good,” Lila said with a smile. “You learn everything so fast.”
Kelly ignored her, eating stoically. From time to time the girl stole a glance at Archie, then glared down at her plate again. He ate in silence as always, so withdrawn that Lila wondered if he was even aware of Tom’s presence.
But for her own part, Lila was aware of little else. The blond man seemed to fill the room.
He sat on Casey’s other side, watching her with that disconcerting blue gaze that still made her feel warm and shaky. His shoulders seemed so broad in this confined, domestic setting, and his bigness was further exaggerated by the cast on his arm.
“I can write my name,” Casey told his father proudly. “The whole thing.”
Tom hugged the little boy with his good arm. “I sure missed you, son.”
Casey looked curiously at his father’s cast. “Daddy, how long do you have to wear that thing?”
“The doctor thinks it’ll take about a month to heal,” Tom said, taking a sip of water.
“So we get to stay here for a long, long time?” Casey’s eyes brightened.
Tom shook his head and set the glass down. “I doubt that Lila and Archie want us around for that long,” he told his son. “We’ll be hitting the road again as soon as I can drive.”
“Can you drive with one hand?” Casey asked.
“Sure can. In fact, I can do a whole lot of things with one hand.” Tom caught Lila’s glance, his eyes full of laughter.
She looked down quickly at her plate, toying with a crust of garlic bread.
When the meal was finished, Kelly got up silently and began to clear the table. She carried dishes to the sink for rinsing, then stacked them in the dishwasher while Lila took an apple pie from the oven and served hefty slices, topping each with a scoop of ice cream.
“Do you want some, Dad?” she asked.
Archie shook his,head, got up and shambled from the room, heading for the veranda.
Lila watched him go, feeling miserable. Archie seemed even worse than usual today, and she wondered if something in particular had happened to upset him, or if he was just annoyed to have the house full of people and noise.
She was conscious of Tom’s eyes resting on her in concern. He seemed about to say something but she gave him an imperceptible shake of the head, glancing toward the two children.
He nodded in understanding and accepted the piece of pie she handed him.
“Well, this looks great,” he said heartily. “If I had to get hurt, we’re sure lucky it happened in Lila’s backyard, aren’t we, kids?”
“Yummy,” Casey said, attacking his pie. “I love ice cream.”
Kelly finished stacking the dishes and sat down again with her dessert. The four of them ate in silence, listening to an owl hooting down in the cottonwoods as the evening shadows lengthened.
Anybody who peeked in the window would think they were a normal little family, Lila thought. And how wrong they’d be.
“I can skip stones on the river,” Kelly told her father, breaking the long silence. “I practiced and practiced all day yesterday, and now I can do it as good as Marie.”
“What’s your best throw so far?” Tom asked.
“Nine skips with one stone.”
“Hey, I can beat that,” he said cheerfully. “Even with one arm.”
“Bet you can’t.” Kelly’s face brightened, and for a moment she looked like any ordinary, fun-loving child.
“Bet I can,” Tom told her solemnly. “Tell you what, after we’ve finished eating and tidying the kitchen, we’ll go out and have a stone-skipping contest, okay? Lila will come along and be the judge.”
Both children began to bounce in excitement and argue about the rules of the contest. Lila caught Tom’s eye over Casey’s curly head. They exchanged a smile and she felt a treacherous flood of warmth.
If he doesn’t leave soon, she thought in despair, and take these kids with him, I’m really going to be in big trouble.
But the thought of their departure left such a void that she could hardly bear to think about it.
“I LEARNED TO DO THIS when I was twelve years old,” Tom said, bending at the shoreline to select a flat rock. “Archie taught me.”
“That mean old man?” Casey asked in astonishment, running along at his father’s side.
Tom glanced at Lila, his blunt cheekbones gilded by the dying rays of the sun. “That man is Lila’s father,” he told Casey sternly. “He also owns this house where you’re staying, and you should show some respect. Don’t call names, son.”
“Okay,” the boy said cheerfully. “Here’s a good one, Dad.” He selected a smooth flat rock and handed it to his father.
“If Casey’s helping his dad, I’ll be on Kelly’s side,” Lila said. “We’ll find the best stones of all, won’t we, Kelly?”
The girl gave her a startled glance, then returned to her study of the riverbank.
When they’d each selected half a dozen flat rocks and, after much amiable wrangling, established the rules of their contest, Tom and his daughter began to skip stones across the river.
Lila enjoyed the laughter and the pleasant warmth of the sunset and the feeling of being a child again. She and Tom had done this same thing twenty-five years ago, long before adult life intruded, with all its conflicts and responsibilities.
She could tell that Tom deliberately let Kelly win the contest. He was so skilled with his hands that he could easily have skipped a stone at least a dozen times, even throwing left-handed.
But all his efforts seemed to arch just a little too high, then plop into the water after a few ineffectual bounces.
Finally he acknowledged defeat, much to Casey’s chagrin and Kelly’s gloating triumph.
After the game, Tom and Lila walked together along the riverbank while the children shouted and played at the water’s edge.
Tom glanced back at the house where Archie sat on the veranda. “It’s sad to see him like this, Lila. I can hardly believe he’s the same man.”
“That’s what everybody says.”
“So, is he clinically depressed?”
“We assume he probably is.” Lila squinted at the flare of gold etching the top of the cliffs. “I can’t get him to see a professional, but I’ve talked his symptoms over with some of the doctors I know, and they all diagnose depression.”
“Isn’t there anything you can do for him?”
“Not without his cooperation. If he were agreeable, there’d be all kinds of treatments we could try. Dietary changes, medication, activities, counseling.” Lila shook her head in defeat. “But he just says no to everything and sits there with his whittling. And every day he seems to disappear a little more.”
Tom took her hand and held it. His touch was so comforting that she didn’t pull away this time, just walked along beside him and listened to the gentle flow of the river.
“This feels good,” she said, lifting her face to the warm twilight breeze. “It’s like we’re ten years old again.”
“That’s not the way I remember it,” he said with a grin. “If I’d tried to hold your hand when we were ten years old, you’d have socked me in the eye.”
She laughed. “I probably would have. You were still small enough in those days that I could give you a pretty good fight.”
He slanted a teasing glance down at her. “But then I grew and you didn’t.”
“Hey,” she protested. “I grew, too, you know. In fact, I’m a pretty big girl now. Taller than most of the men I date.”
“Do you date, Lilabel?”
“Not much.” Unobtrusively she freed her hand and bent to rub some leaves of sage between her fingers, sniffing in pleasure at the oily fragrance.
He watched her, his thick hair lifting and stirring in the breeze. “Tell me about this ex-husband of yours.”
“There’s nothing much to tell. Trevor’s handsome and smart, but easily bored. Ever since I’ve known him, he’s been drifting from one job to another. Any one of them would have a good future if he’d stick with it, but pretty soon he gets bored and moves on. Then eventually he comes and borrows money from me to tide him over.”
“And you lend it?”
She smiled. “For a price, sometimes.”
“What kind of price?” he asked with quick suspicion.
“Not what you’re thinking.”
Lila told him about Marie’s broken marriage and the ballroom-dancing classes, and her requirement that Trevor escort her friend in order to be loaned the five hundred dollars.
Tom laughed so heartily that the children turned to look at them from the water’s edge, then went back to their play.
“Same old Lila,” he said at last “Organizing people’s lives, working busily behind the scenes to make everybody happy.”
“Is that so bad?” Lila asked.
“No, sweetheart.” He put his free arm around her and gave her a boyish hug. “It’s not bad at all.”
The feel of his muscular arm and his long hard body against hers was almost more than Lila could endure. She pulled away hastily and turned to face him.
“Tom, don’t say a word to anybody about this, all right?”
“About what?”
“My deal with Trevor to take Marie out dancing. She would be so humiliated if she knew, and her confidence is shaky enough these days.”
“I won’t breathe a word,” he said solemnly. “Hey, look, here’s our rock.”
They’d reached the natural stone bench where Lila often came to read by the water’s edge when she had some free time. Tom lowered himself gingerly and patted the surface of the rock.
“Come and sit down, Lilabel. Remember how much fun we used to have down here? This big old rock was a stagecoach, a mountain, a fort...whatever we wanted it to be.”
“Yes,” she said briefly, sitting as far away from him as she could. “Of course I remember.”
He extended his long legs carefully and grimaced with pain.
“Tom, we should go back,” she said, frowning. “This has been too much activity for you on your first day out of bed.”
“I feel great, and stronger by the minute. I hate those damn hospitals. They really sap a person’s strength, you know.”
“Well, that’s good to hear,” she said, “since I spend half my life in hospitals.”
He touched her hair, then leaned close to lift a few strands and hold them to his face. “Your hair always smelled so good,” he murmured.
“Tom,” she began warningly. He straightened immediately and moved away.
“So what else have you been doing?” he asked. “You went to medical school, then nursed Bella while she was sick, and now you take care of Archie and your friends and your lazy ex-husband. Do you ever do anything just for Lila?”
For some reason the question was upsetting to her. She didn’t want to answer him, or even think about what he’d said.
“Let’s talk about you for a while,” she said after a brief silence. “What have you been doing all these years, besides going to rodeos?”
“My life hasn’t been all that interesting,” he said with sudden coldness, staring at the glittering water.
Lila could almost see the shutter falling over his eyes, and hear the curt, wary tone in his voice.
Even after all this time apart, she knew Tom Bennet well enough to understand that nothing was going to make him talk about his life or share details of his marriage and past experiences. And trying to probe would be as useful as flinging herself against a brick wall.
She sighed and got to her feet. “I guess we’d better start heading back,” she said. “It’s time for Casey to have his bath and go to bed.”
They walked side by side toward the house, while the children ran quarreling behind them. Lila cast a sidelong glance at his withdrawn profile.
“Tom...”
“Yes?”
“Are you really planning to move on and start going to rodeos again in only a few days?”
“As soon as I can drive, Lila. In the meantime, there are some chores I can do around the place to earn our keep.”
“What kind of chores?”
He waved a hand toward a nearby paddock. “That fence needs repairing. Otherwise you’re going to have llamas wandering across the countryside. And the barn has to be painted, too.”
“You’re right, it does. I’m afraid things have been going downhill since Dad stopped tending to the place. I never have enough time.”
“Well, the kids and I can do those chores. In fact, I’m getting them started on the barn tomorrow after you go to work.”
“I’m sorry to upset your plans,” she said lightly, “but you might have one more worker on the painting crew.”
He raised an eyebrow and grinned in delight. “Really, Lilabel?”
She bent and plucked at a blade of grass, chewing on it with feigned casualness. “I’m thinking I’ll take this week off to help with the kids until you’re feeling better.”
“Can doctors take time off just like that?”
“Tomorrow I’m off, anyway, and I have about a year of unused holiday time,” Lila said. “It’s only a matter of rescheduling some appointments, and they’re usually lighter in the summertime when my patients are on holidays. I’ll still do my hospital rounds and handle emergency calls, of course, but I should have most of the days off this week.”
“Well, I’ll clean an extra paintbrush, then. Remember our old painting contests, Lila?”
“I remember.” She suppressed a smile and turned to look up at him. “So when are you planning to leave?”
He straightened as they walked and tried to lift his injured arm.
“I think by next weekend I should probably be strong enough to travel.” He cast an inquiring glance at her. “Is that okay? Can you stand for us to hang around here that long?”
“Oh, Tom!” she said impatiently, her cheeks warming with annoyance.
Lila felt a sudden flood of anger, and another emotion that she was afraid to analyze. She broke away from him as they reached the house, ran lightly up the steps and paused in the doorway, looking back at the two children.
“Hurry up, Casey,” she called. “I’m running your bath now, and I’m going to hide your rubber duck somewhere in the bathroom. You have to come and find him.”
Casey squealed in delight and began galloping toward the veranda. Lila hurried upstairs, ignoring Tom, who stood in the shadowed doorway looking up at her.
A FEW MORNINGS LATER, when Kelly woke up, the sun was already reaching long golden fingers around the edges of the curtain. She lay against the pillows and smiled drowsily, loving the feeling of being in this cozy room where the same tree was right outside the window every morning.
When they were on the road traveling to rodeos, the scenery beyond their camper window changed every day, and sometimes it got really tiring and confusing.
But here in this place, the cliffs and the river had been in the same place for thousands of years and nothing would ever make them move, except maybe a huge earthquake or a volcano exploding.
But Kelly wasn’t afraid of things like that.
She rolled her head on the pillow and looked over at the cot where Casey slept. He was already gone, with only his rumpled nest of blankets remaining.
Casey was always an early riser, but here in this beautiful house, Kelly didn’t have to worry about him at all. He wasn’t her responsibility right now. When he got up and wandered downstairs, there were grown-ups to look after him, to make sure he washed his hands and put on his socks and had some breakfast.
She sighed blissfully and snuggled under the covers again, thinking about Lila and the old man in the house, and her father nearby, sleeping in the camper under the cottonwoods. That made her feel even better.
Dad had suggested that Casey sleep with him out in the camper so Kelly could have a whole room to herself for a change, but Lila had protested. She didn’t think it was a good idea for Casey to sleep in the camper in case Dad had to lift him or something and hurt his insides again.
Kelly had been a little surprised at how meekly her father obeyed Lila. Normally, Tom Bennet never listened very much to anything people said. He just made up his mind about what he wanted to do, then went quietly his own way.
But Lila had some kind of influence over him that other people didn’t. Maybe it was because they’d been friends for so long, ever since they were as young as Kelly.
She stared at the ceiling, thinking about the fairy tales her father used to tell her when she was a little girl.
Kelly’s favorite story had been about a beautiful dark-haired, blue-eyed princess who lived in a castle by the river, in a kingdom full of animals. The princess had always been so wonderful, so sweet and good and gentle. Kelly loved those stories and used to beg to hear them again and again when she was Casey’s age.
Now that she was older, she remembered the way her father’s face would soften when he talked about the beautiful princess, and his voice sometimes got husky and sad.
Maybe the princess had actually been Lila, because it was easy to see how much he cared about her. Kelly could usually tell how he felt, even when he hid his emotions from others.
Briefly she entertained a fantasy where her father married Lila and moved into this big house with her, and Kelly and Casey had their own rooms and got to live here all the time, and make friends with all the dogs and llamas and go to school on a big yellow bus with other kids.
She sighed, then shook her head to dispel the wistful vision.
Nothing like that was ever going to happen, and there was no point in thinking about it.
Besides, Kelly thought grimly, those dreams weren’t always so nice in real life. Sometimes they turned out to be horrible.
She felt tears prickling behind her eyes and wondered what was happening to her. Once she’d been so tough, able to stand anything. Now she seemed to be on the verge of tears half the time, as big a baby as Casey. It was very troubling.
