Code red, p.19
Code Red, page 19
“A little. I wanna sit up. I need to sit up.”
He held his hand out again and I pulled him up into a sitting position. His knees were bent and he kinda slouched. He looked better but still exhausted. “Just give yourself a second to adjust,” I said.
He nodded. “I’m okay. I wanna go sit with the boys.”
Jeremy, Wes, Luke, and Blake were sitting on the couches. From what I could tell, Hardwick and Julio were about done with them. “Okay, then let’s get you up. You sure you feel okay?”
He smiled at me with something in his eyes that made my heart thump. “Thank you. For looking after me.”
God, I almost caressed his face. “Anytime.”
I stood up and pulled Maddox to his feet. I held onto him for a second, making sure he didn’t get dizzy or sway, and with my arm around his waist, I helped him over to the couch and sat him next to Jeremy.
I thought they might have ribbed him for being dramatic or something, but they were only concerned, asking him how he felt and how they’d never seen someone hit the ground so hard. I handed Maddox the bottle of electrolytes he hadn’t finished. “Sip this.”
“It tastes terrible,” he griped.
I was just about to tell him I didn’t care how it tasted when the doors banged open and Ambrose walked in. “How is he?”
Maddox gave a half-attempt at a wave. “He’s here. He’s fine.”
Ambrose crossed the room in long strides, concerned. He asked them all how they were feeling and declared in the future they’d be canceling any concert if the heat was too much. I’d believe that when I saw it.
But apparently his most important piece of news was that apparently the whole world already knew Jeremy and Maddox had collapsed, and Ambrose was preparing to give a brief press release in a few minutes.
“I didn’t collapse,” Jeremy said. “I just fell onto my ass.”
“How did they know?” Luke asked. “We were backstage?”
“But not completely out of view. When the platform lowered down, they saw you two fall,” Ambrose said, looking at Jeremy and Maddox. “You can see it on the footage. Jeremy kinda drops, but Maddox sways and falls. It’s all over social media. There are a lot of upset fans right now so I need to let them know you’re okay.”
Maddox went to stand up. “If you need me to show face—”
“No,” Jeremy and I said in unison. That earned me a few strange looks, but I didn’t care. “Maddox, let him worry about that. You were told to rest.”
“Yeah,” Jeremy added. “The last thing you wanna do is go live all pale and shit or pass out mid-interview. Christ, could you imagine?”
“Yeah, they’re right,” Ambrose said quickly. Though I was pretty sure he’d have loved for Maddox to join him on camera. “You let me worry about it. I’m just glad you’re okay. That everyone’s okay. We’ve got a few of the stage crew and sound crew who are being tended to as well. But I’ll go set the record straight to the public and put some worried minds to rest.” Then he looked directly at me. “Roscoe, a word . . .”
I followed him out to the corridor, out of the air conditioning to where the air was hot and thick. “I heard your quick actions with Maddox made all the difference tonight. I just wanted to thank you.”
“Everyone did their part,” I replied, playing it down. “But can you do me a favor?”
He cocked his head. “Sure.”
“Don’t mention me in any of your damage-control reports to the media. Don’t say it was me who carried him or half-stripped him or saved him or whatever. Please. We don’t need any more hype around him or me, and I’m sure security would agree.” He probably didn’t like me telling him how to do his job, but I held his gaze. “Maddox certainly doesn’t need any more stress right now.”
Ambrose gave a nod, but whether he agreed with me or not, I couldn’t tell. What he was going to say to the public was anyone’s damn guess. “Oh,” I added, “the doc said it was probably best Maddox not be left alone tonight, in case he gets dizzy or begins to feel sick. Maddox volunteered me.”
“You?”
“He’d rather have me in his room than someone he doesn’t know.”
“Fair enough.” He nodded with a serious expression. “He wasn’t in good shape, I heard.”
I shook my head. “It wasn’t good. They were all ragged, and it’s only because Maddox goes the hardest on stage that he was the one to actually collapse. Jeremy wasn’t far behind him. There really needs to be a contingency plan put into place for days like today. I was about ready to put him in an ambulance, and I don’t need to tell you how that would look.”
Ambrose nodded again.
“We fly out for Buenos Aires the day after tomorrow,” I reminded him, though I was certain I didn’t have to. “And I’m assuming that’s only if the doc gives Maddox a green light.”
“I’ve spoken to Hardwick already,” Ambrose replied. “He said he should be fine to fly in thirty-six hours. Next concert is in five days. Rest day tomorrow should help him recover. But the doctor will explain all that to him.”
I nodded at that. Of course Ambrose would have asked about the next concert. Though I could hardly blame him because Maddox would be on that stage in Argentina if it killed him. “I better get back in there. Good luck with your press release.”
As soon as our conversation was over, his assistant swooped in with a clipboard of notes and a make-up technician began dabbing at his face. I went back inside to find the boys still on the sofas, eating around a coffee table. Maddox saw me, acknowledged I was back in the room, and went back to his plate. He was now wearing a shirt and I was glad he was eating something; that was a good sign, surely.
Ryan waved me over to where he and Amber were standing by the far table. There was a plate of food piled high. “Catering left it for you,” Ryan said.
“Thank you.” I hadn’t realized how hungry I was.
Amber nodded toward the door. “What did Ambrose want?”
I shrugged and had to finish chewing my first mouthful. “Same old. He’s holding a press conference. He’s in damage-control mode.” I told them what was said in the corridor in between shoving food in my face. “I haven’t looked online. Has everyone gone mad with the rumors?”
“Pretty much,” Ryan said.
“Well, I’m not looking at that bullshit tonight. I’m getting him back to the hotel and pretending none of it exists until I’ve had at least five hours sleep.”
They chuckled, because they understood the media craziness.
“Oh,” I added. “And I’m in with Maddox tonight. To keep an eye on him. Doctor’s orders and Ambrose approved it. If you need me and you’re wondering where I am. I’ll be lucky to get five hours sleep on that couch in his room.”
Amber side-eyed me, guessing damn well I wasn’t taking the couch. She didn’t say anything, thankfully, and before Ryan could swallow down his mouthful to speak, Maddox called me over. I took one last bite before discarding my plate on my way over to him. “Can we go?” he asked. “I need to go.”
“I think the doc wanted to see you first,” I said, taking his hand and pulling him to his feet. “I’ll go find him. Have you had enough to eat?”
He nodded, and I could see his plate was half empty. “I really need to piss,” he said.
“Thanks for that,” I deadpanned, and Jeremy and Wes laughed.
The doctor was in the corridor talking to some of the stage crew, and he quickly wrapped up their conversation when he saw me. “How is he?”
“Better, I think. He’s eaten, not much, but that’s nothing new. He wants to leave. He’s just using the bathroom.”
“Good. If he pees, he can go.”
“Pardon?”
“Dehydration and heat exhaustion. I need to know if he has any problems with urination. It means his kidneys—”
“Oh. Uh, sure. Of course.”
We went back into the room and waited until Maddox came out of the restrooms looking rather pained. Oh hell. “Oh my god, are you okay?”
“I went in there without shoes on. Of course I’m not okay. Christ.” He lifted his foot up, looking at the sole with disgust.
I laughed, relieved. I went in search of wet wipes while he tried to smear his feet on Blake and Luke.
He was clearly feeling much better.
I packed up his gear, and by the time he had his boots back on, we were ready to go. The other boys were packing up and wouldn’t be far behind us, but Maddox looked utterly beat. He almost fell asleep on me in the van on the way back to the hotel. I put my arm around his shoulder and he leaned against me, and we both just reveled in the silence.
I showered with him, scrubbing him clean, kissing him softly on his lips, his eyelids, his cheek, his shoulder. I dried him off and we climbed into bed, naked.
There would be no sex tonight, but it was warm and intimate, and everything Maddox seemed to need.
I needed it too.
There in the dark, the outline of his face lined in silver light, his dark eyes on mine. I thumbed his eyebrow. “You scared me tonight,” I whispered. “When you fell. Scared the life out of me.”
“Scared me too.”
“You were so pale and hot. You were all floppy and the heat coming off you was . . . frightening.”
“I overworked myself.”
“I told you not to go so hard on stage tonight. It was too hot, and you give too much of yourself.”
“I don’t want anyone to be disappointed. The fans. They come a long way and spend a lot of money to come see us. I don’t want to let anyone down.”
“Even if it kills you?”
He frowned. “I’ll know next time when to pull back a bit.”
“Just a bit?”
He almost smiled. “If I don’t pass out, then you can’t be my hero and save me and take care of me.”
I kissed him chastely and brushed his hair back from his face. “I’ll save you and take care of you anytime. You don’t need to almost kill yourself to get me to do that.”
He smiled sadly. “I’m sorry I scared you. But thank you for being with me.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
“What do you think Ambrose said in his press release?”
I shook my head. “Let’s not worry about that tonight.” I was sure the internet was a disaster zone right now, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. “There are more important things tonight.”
He snuggled into his spot in the crook of my arm, his head on my chest with my arms wrapped tight around him. “Go to sleep, baby.”
“Hmm,” he murmured, quickly drifting off.
I kissed the side of his head, breathed in the smell of him, and closed my eyes.
The next morning, I checked the social media fallout while Maddox showered. There was a lot of noise about Maddox, and yes, he was trending and the footage of them had gone viral. But Ambrose’s little press release was effective; the hysteria died down, and posts of concern became posts of well-wishes.
Thankfully Ambrose hadn’t mentioned me and I was relieved not to see my name tangled with Maddox’s for once.
Maddox came out dressed in his usual black outfit. “Did you see Twitter?” he asked. “And TikTok?”
I nodded. “I was expecting worse.”
He half-smiled. “Same.” Then he patted his belly. “I’m so hungry.”
I stood up and planted a kiss on his mouth. “Then let’s get you fed.”
We went to the common room where breakfast was laid out. It was technically a free day, so there really wasn’t anyone buzzing around too much. Amber and Ryan had the morning off, but Wes, Luke, Blake, and Jeremy were already there, though from their wet hair and half-full plates of food, I deduced they hadn’t been there long.
But I knew something was off. The way the boys were acting, the sidelong looks, the glances, the silences. Maddox took his iced coffee and plate of fruit and sat next to Luke on the couch. I pretended not to be watching, but then Jeremy called me over. “Roscoe, got a sec?”
Shit.
This wasn’t going to be good.
I sipped my coffee, aiming for casual. “Sure, what’s up?”
Jeremy looked at Blake, then Wes and Luke as if giving them the floor to speak. Maddox sighed and put his plate on the coffee table. Clearly he knew something was wrong too. “Just say it.”
There was a long beat of silence, and when no one else spoke, it was Jeremy who broke it. “They know about you and Roscoe. I didn’t tell them, but I won’t lie to them either. They need to hear it from you.”
Chapter Twelve
Maddox’s gaze shot straight to mine, wide with uncertainty and fear, before he turned back to Jeremy. “If you didn’t tell them, how’d they know?” Maddox asked.
“Because we’re not blind,” Luke said.
“And we know you, Maddox,” Blake offered. “We’d wondered if something was up with you two, and last night kinda sealed it.”
“Last night?” I asked. God, which part? My mind raced . . .
Wes looked over at me. “Roscoe, you called him baby. In front of everyone.”
Holy fuck. I could feel the color drain from my face; my stomach felt like ice. “I did?”
Wes nodded. “When he was passed out on his back. You lifted him half off the floor, pulled his shirt off, and said, ‘Come on, baby,’ clear as a bell.”
I didn’t want to believe it but the four of them nodded. “You did,” Jeremy said. “I didn’t say anything last night, but after you left, Wes asked me if I heard you say it.”
Luke gave a pointed glare at Jeremy. “And I asked what he knew and he wouldn’t say any more.”
He put his hands up. “It was not my place to say.”
All eyes eventually fell on Maddox. He looked at me and shrugged. “Roscoe and I are . . . together. I dunno. Seeing each other. With each other. I dunno what to call it.” He met my gaze and winced. “Together?”
I nodded, it was all I could do to offer a show of solidarity. It made my heart do crazy things to hear him say that out loud. “We are.” I swallowed my nerves and looked at Maddox’s bandmates, at his best friends. “What he said. I don’t know what to call it either. We’re just . . . together.”
Maddox smiled at me, just briefly. Jeremy watched Maddox; the others all nodded slowly. “How long?” Blake asked.
Maddox put his hands about nine inches apart. “About that long.”
Christ.
Wes shoved his shoulder. “Not his dick size, asshole.”
Maddox laughed. “What? Too soon?”
Resisting the urge to bury my face in my hands, I pinched the bridge of my nose instead. “Way too soon.”
They laughed and Jeremy put his hands up. “And I’ve known for all of two days. So don’t blame me.”
Maddox sighed and crossed his boots at the ankles. “A few weeks. Just this tour. We didn’t want to tell anyone because Roscoe could lose his job. Or they’d separate us or some stupid shit. It wasn’t a deliberate secret. It was just . . . it was just nice to have something good in my life, ya know?” He ran his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry for not saying something.”
None of them said anything for a while.
Maddox chewed on his bottom lip, his face a mask of sadness. “I can’t fight with you guys over this. I know we always said we’d never do anything to jeopardize the band. And that’s still true. Nothing’s different, nothing’s changed.”
“You’re different,” Blake said quietly. “We noticed it. I mean, how could we not?”
“How have I changed?” Maddox asked, on the defensive.
“You’re happier,” Blake replied.
Oh god.
“And it’s not even that you’re less stressed because you’re finally getting some,” Wes said. “You’re less . . . nervous. Or something.”
Bloody hell.
“We all know how long you’ve been wanting him,” Luke said, smiling.
Wait, what?
Maddox looked around for something to throw at Luke. He did a double take at the iced coffee in his hand. “Shut up. Don’t make me throw this at you.”
Luke and Blake both turned to me. “Oh, you didn’t know,” Blake said, now smiling. He shook his head at Maddox. “You’re banging him but didn’t tell him you’ve been pining over him for two years?”
Two years? Holy shit.
Maddox’s cheeks went red and he shot Blake a daggers-glare. “Wow. Okay. You can shut up now too, please, if you wouldn’t mind.”
“Did you tell him about ‘Oceans’?” Luke asked.
Oceans . . . my mind was spinning too much to follow. “Wait . . . the song?” “Oceans” was a song on their latest album. Maddox wrote it; he said it was his favorite. “What about it?”
Wes barked out a laugh. “You never told him?”
“Can everyone just shut up?” Maddox cried, his hand to his forehead. “Look. I don’t want you guys to be mad at me, and I’d also appreciate it if you didn’t embarrass me anymore than you already have. Thanks. But with me and Roscoe . . .” He shook his head and clenched and unclenched his fists, a nervous trait he had. He took a deep breath, then another. “I don’t want you guys to tell me to choose. Please don’t make me choose. My priority is the band and you assholes. Always. But I need this as well. And I know that sounds selfish, and I’m sorry. I know I ask a lot of you guys already, with all the shit that goes on. But I . . . I need this for me.”
No one said anything, and I wasn’t sure it was my place to speak. These were his best friends, his bandmates. They didn’t need me inserting myself in between them, but I hated seeing Maddox singled out, for which I was mostly responsible. “Don’t blame him,” I said. “He wanted to tell you all from the beginning but I asked him not to. So if you wanna be pissed off”—I looked them all in the eye, settling on Maddox—“it’s on me, not him.”
“I’m not pissed off,” Luke said. “I just wish we’d been told.”
“Can you understand why we didn’t say anything?” Maddox asked him. “Can you imagine what Ambrose is gonna do? It means things will change, and I don’t want anything to be different.”
