Code blue, p.22
Code Blue, page 22
Riko was in my ear, telling me about Ambrose meeting with the feds and the LAPD, and heated meetings with the PR team, all while Jeremy was eyeing my crotch.
I didn’t need to be a mind reader to see he was trying to figure out just how far this attraction went. Physically, that was. It was one thing for a maybe-bi guy to hold hands with a man, to kiss him. But when dicks got involved, it could go downhill pretty quick.
I gripped his chin, bringing his eyes up to meet mine. “Thanks, Riko. Keep me posted.” I disconnected the call, not breaking eye contact, and slid my phone onto the coffee table.
Was he about to freak out?
Jeremy pulled at the hem of my shirt and lifted it, then ran his hand over my abs and the waistband of my jeans.
Okay then. No freak out.
“You okay there?” I asked, my voice rough.
He smirked, his eyes full of mischief and heat. And then he pounced on me. He crushed his mouth to mine and pressed his weight on me, his hand slipping under my ass and he hitched my leg up.
Fuck.
He delved his tongue into my mouth, his hips rolled, and he grunted.
I broke the kiss with a gasp. I’d gone from zero to a hundred in an instant. I was too close. “Jeremy, god . . .”
It had been too long for me. He was as hard as me. I could feel him, and he was everything I wanted.
If he didn’t stop now, he was going to make me come.
His eyes were full of fire. “I want this. Tell me you want this too?”
Oh sweet heavens.
All I could do was nod.
He kissed me again, hard and deep, fit one leg between mine, and he ground against me. We moved, rocking back and forth, still fully clothed. I gripped his ass and drove my hips up, rubbing my hard-on against him, desperate for more. When he groaned into my mouth, I knew there was no going back.
He was as aroused as I was.
His erection pressed into my hip, his thigh between my legs rubbed my balls. I dragged my hands down his back, over his ass, feeling every inch of him I could reach, while grinding against him.
I still couldn’t believe I was doing this with Jeremy.
The Jeremy Dalton.
That he wanted to do this with me.
He had to break the kiss to breathe. Ragged and hitched, he drove his body against mine perfectly, his back arched as his fingers dug into me. He closed his eyes, groaned, and shuddered.
Holy shit, he was coming.
I gripped his ass and thrust, chasing the friction, hurtling toward my own orgasm. Then Jeremy grunted and bucked, his whole body jerking.
And that coil low in my belly, that pull in my balls, came undone and I shot my load. I held onto him, my body tight, as pulse after pulse of pleasure washed over me.
Jeremy collapsed on top of me, his face in my neck, his weight sending a ripple of shudders through me. After a few long moments, he laughed. “What the fuck was that?”
I chuckled, barely catching my breath. “That was . . . that sure was something.”
Untouched, still dressed, like horny teenagers. I came in my jeans, Jeremy in his track pants, and the smell of sex was heavy in the air.
He propped his head up on his hand, heavy-lidded. I wondered for a second if things would be awkward . . . but then he smiled and kissed me again.
And he kept kissing me, deep and languid, with a slow tongue and tender lips. It was a serious kiss that had my heart knocking against my ribs.
Was this just physical exploration for him?
Or did it mean something more?
I wasn’t game enough to ask in case it burst whatever surreal bubble I was currently in.
He slowed the kiss, ending it by pulling my bottom lip in between his. “I could kiss you all day,” he said dreamily. But then he peeled himself off me and stood up. He extended his hand. “Come with me.” Then he stopped. “Oh. You already did.”
I burst out laughing. Gawd.
“I meant come this way . . . or let’s go this way.” He laughed. “Though I’m down for more coming. It’s the best hangover cure.”
He pulled me to my feet and I let him lead me, as it turned out, to his room. Well, his bathroom. Where he walked in and took his shirt off like it was no big deal. “Shower time,” he declared. “I haven’t jizzed in my pants since I was like sixteen.”
He was so open about everything, as he was with all subjects. I don’t know why it surprised me that he’d be the same with this.
He walked into the shower and turned the water on, then came back out and slid his hands under the waistband of his track pants. “You can’t have a shower with your clothes on, Steve,” he said.
Hmm. Getting naked was never easy for me. They’d see my scars and were either repulsed or weirdly curious. But this was Jeremy . . . He was different, wasn’t he?
I didn’t have much time to contemplate, because he slid his pants down and stepped out of them.
Jeremy was naked in front of me. His lithe and fit body, trim and muscular, bare chest, defined abs, and a gorgeous cock that hung half-hard. His foreskin intact. Sweet mother of god.
I was standing in his bathroom with him when he was completely naked. And we’d just made out until we both reached orgasm.
I was beginning to wonder if maybe I’d hit my head in the pool and that this was all some kind of cruel dream.
“I’m not supposed to get this stupid surgical glue wet for another day.” Then he glanced in the mirror and did a double take. “Shit. My hair.”
I gestured to the trash. “If you’re looking for it.” There were clumps of his hair in it. And in the sink. “And in there. You did a shit job at cleaning up.”
Jeremy snorted. “Shut up and get into the shower. You’re wasting water.”
Ugh.
Right, then.
I pulled my shoes and socks off, shirt and jeans. I’d never actually showered with anyone before. What did I do? Just walk in?
“Here,” Jeremy said, handing me a soapy loofah. “Helps if you’re actually wet though.”
I was sure he was just doing that to make me feel more at ease. It worked. It gave me something to focus on, at least.
His shower was huge, ridiculously so. There were several jets of water and enough room for six people, let alone two. I washed the jizz off first before soaping up my chest and under my arms. Jeremy watched me, smiling.
“I’ve gotta keep my head dry, otherwise we could have awesome shower sex.”
I coughed on the steam. “Ahhh.”
Jeremy laughed. “Just kidding.”
“I’ve, uh, I’ve never even showered with anyone before, let alone had sex in a shower.”
“Never?”
“Never.” I shrugged. “Plus, water-resistant lube is a bitch to clean up.”
His smile died as realization hit him. “Oh.”
It was my turn to laugh. “Just kidding.”
He shut the water off and I handed him a towel. “I’ll need to go grab some clothes,” I said.
“Just wear something of mine. I have an entire wardrobe of shit I never wear.” He dried his body, then dabbed the towel at his sore head. He had zero modesty, no shame whatsoever. All those years of getting changed in a dressing room full of people would probably do that. He noticed me staring. “What?”
I shook my head, smiling, embarrassed. “Just you. You’re fucking beautiful.” I gestured to his body. “And I’m here with you, like this. After what we just did on your couch . . . feels like I’m dreaming.”
His smile quirked at one corner. “It’s crazy, huh? This is weird, you and me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve wanted this for weeks, months, even. And I told myself to get over it, lusting after a guy was weird.” His smile softened. “But now that we’re here, it’s not as weird as I thought it’d be.”
I tied the towel at my waist, and not once did Jeremy look at my scars. “I’m glad it’s not weird. But you know if it does start to feel weird or get a bit overwhelming, you can tell me. Just call a timeout.”
He met my gaze and gave me a small nod, but then he winced.
“Headache?”
“Hm. A little. Could stand a nap.” He walked into his walk-in closet stark-ass naked and came out wearing boxers. He threw me a pair of gym shorts and held up a shirt. “This be tight enough? I mean, big enough?”
I chuckled. “This outfit, although I’m sure was painfully expensive, is hardly work appropriate.”
He stopped. “Work? Are you working right now, Steve?”
“Well, no . . .”
“Were you working on the couch with me?”
“No.”
“In the shower? Was that work?”
I sighed. “No, of course not. Sorry. That’s not what I meant.”
“Then get dressed. Unless you want to stay in the towel all day.” He sat on the bed, picked up some kind of remote, and the blinds began to close. Clearly bright daylight wasn’t doing his head any favors.
I pulled the shorts up. They were kinda tight. “Sorry, I should have thought to close the blinds in here.”
He sat on the bed. “’S okay.”
I pulled the shirt on, and yes, it was tight, but I automatically felt less insecure now that I was covered. I lifted my arms to try to stretch the fabric. “Is this a small?”
Jeremy smiled at me. “I think it’s just right.”
I scowled at him. “I need to get my phone,” I said. After the whole ‘am I just a job to you’ comments, I added, “Not for work. Just in case there’s some kind of emergency. My phone is the only way anyone can reach us.”
He gently touched around the scar on his head. “Yeah, okay.”
“Lie down and I’ll bring you some of your pills.”
“And maybe something to eat? Or juice.”
Shit.
“Of course.”
He nodded and lay on his side, so I ducked out and went downstairs. I found my phone on the coffee table, smiled as I straightened up the cushions on the couch, remembering what we’d done there.
So surreal.
I grabbed his meds, poured some juice and a glass of water, then added some fruit and crackers. Jeremy laughed when I carried a tray into his room. “I’ve never had this kind of room service before.”
“I should hope not.”
He took his pills with the juice and ate some crackers. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “You don’t have to do this for me.”
“I don’t mind.”
I pinched some of the fruit, eating some, feeding some to him, making sure he ate enough.
“You feeling better?”
“Yeah.” He lay back down and patted the other side of the bed. “Stay with me.”
I put the tray on the floor and climbed over him, settling in beside him with my head on the pillow, facing him. He smiled at me, sweet as could be. “Can I ask you a question?”
Oh boy. “Sure.”
“You’re a top, right?”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“What the . . . ? Jeremy—”
“It’s just that I know Maddox isn’t. He talks about getting dick, taking dick, he’s all about the dick. Well, he doesn’t talk about it so much anymore. Now that he has Roscoe’s constant big dick, apparently. But from the ages of eighteen to twenty-five, do you know how many times we heard about it?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “I sat in a car with you guys for years. I heard enough.”
His eyes went wide. “Oh my god, you heard all those conversations?”
“Most of them.”
He laughed. “Well, shit.”
“Honestly, I stopped listening a long time ago. Too many things I didn’t want to hear.”
“About?”
“About conquests, and taking you guys to bars, and hearing managers talk about NDAs, that kind of thing.”
His nose scrunched up. “Gross, huh?” Then it seemed to dawn on him. “Oh . . . because of me?”
I laughed and hated that I could feel myself blush. “Well, yeah.”
He studied my face. “How long . . . how long have you . . . you know?”
Oh god, here we go . . .
I didn’t want to have this conversation so early in whatever this was. Or at all, but here we were. Despite being nervous, despite feeling foolish, I decided to go with honesty.
“I always noticed you, Jeremy. Always. I never once thought of you in that kind of way . . . until Vermont. When we spent a week there with Maddox and Roscoe.”
“That was over two years ago,” he whispered.
“I know.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
I rolled onto my back—it was easier not to look at him when I spoke about this. “I never would have dreamed something with you was ever possible. You were straight, for a start. But also the professional slash personal thing isn’t easy. I still don’t know what any of this means.” I sighed. “And putting that shit out there isn’t really my thing. It’s not easy for me to put myself in a vulnerable place. Even now. Telling you this, even, is hard. I don’t want you to think just because I’ve noticed you for a long time that I’m emotionally invested while you’re just here for some fun and trying new things. This is very new to me too.” I palmed my face. “Fuck.”
Jeremy scooted closer, snuggling in and resting his head in my armpit. “I don’t know what this means either, Steve. But I’m not just trying new things for fun. This whole being-attracted-to-Steve thing scared the shit out of me. For what it’s worth, I’ve been trying to convince myself not to lust after you for months. Clearly that’s working out really well, considering you’re in my bed right now.”
I let my arm fall around his shoulder. “We don’t have to let it mean anything,” I said. “Or it can mean whatever we want. It can be as much or as little as you need.”
I felt him tense a little and he was quiet for a few long seconds. “What do you want?”
God.
“I want you to be happy. That’s all.”
He leaned up and scowled at me. “That’s a bullshit answer.”
I snorted. “What do you want me to say?”
“The truth.”
“I do want you to be happy. That’s not bullshit.”
He patted my chest. “No, what does Steve Frost want? Not for me. What does he want for himself?”
Christ, he was going to make me say it.
“I want to take this one day at a time. Considering it’s barely hours old, anything else would be foolish. I want you to be comfortable in exploring this, to see if being with a guy is right for you. I want this, yes. But not at the expense of anything else. Not my job, not your safety, not anyone else. That’s what I want. Just one day at a time, with you.”
I didn’t even want to think about work. Ambrose would pitch a fucking fit if he found out, especially after what I said to him on the phone last night.
Jeremy sighed, kinda smiling, kinda not. “That’s a very . . . sensible answer.”
I manhandled him so I could pin his hands to the bed, lying between his legs. I was gentle but his eyes went wide with shock and desire, his mouth a stunned smile.
I kissed him. “I’m a sensible guy, Jeremy. It’s what I do. I want you to be happy. Isn’t that enough?”
He nodded and licked his lips. “Fuck.”
I rocked my hips into his and gave him a filthy kiss until he melted underneath me. His legs fell open, he arched his back.
Surrender.
I drove my tongue into his mouth and he took it, groaning when I rolled my hips. He was getting hard again.
My smile broke the kiss. “And what do you want, Jeremy?”
It took him a second to focus. “I want you to finish what you started.”
Laughing, I kissed down his neck, nipping at his jaw, sucking on his skin below his ear.
He shivered. “Steve?”
I pulled back. “Yeah?”
“About what I asked before . . . about you being a top . . .”
Ah, jeez.
“Okay, first up, Jeremy, slow down. Yes, I am. But there’s no rush for that.”
“I don’t know if I can do it,” he said quickly. “I know what Maddox says and I know where the male g-spot is, thanks again to Maddox, who explained in vivid detail—”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Not that I meant to. But god . . . I kissed him with smiling lips. “Jeremy, slow down. You don’t ever have to do that. I wouldn’t care if you never wanted to do that. It’s not a deal breaker. There’s a hundred other things you can do that don’t involve anal sex.”
He sighed. “Being with you like this is great. You dragging me across the bed just now was fucking hot. I’ve never been . . . uh . . .”
“Manhandled?”
He laughed. “Yes, manhandled. And honestly, when you did that thing, pinning me to the bed, I’m pretty sure I’d agree to anything you wanted to do to me if you did that again. And you’re a totally in-charge kinda guy. It’s what I like about you. It’s what I find so appealing, if I’m being honest. But . . . god, this is so embarrassing.”
“Don’t be embarrassed,” I said, kissing him softly. “I’m glad that you want to talk about it. But as I said, it’s not something you ever have to do. A lot of gay guys don’t do that.”
“Maddox said—”
“Maddox said his truth. You’re not him. You’re not going to like everything he likes. And Jeremy,” I said, pecking his lips again. “You’ve been experimenting with a guy for a about one hour. Real life is not a porno.”
He groaned a painful sound this time and covered his eyes. “I watched a lot of gay porn. Trying to see if it was hot or if it was just you that interested me. I have so many questions.”
I burst out laughing and took his hand away, making him look at me. “Anything you want to ask me?”
His cheeks were pink. “Maybe another time?” I laughed again and started to pull back, but he slung his leg around mine. “Or you could stay right where you are,” he mumbled. Then he rolled his eyes. “See? This is hot. You feel so good on top of me. I can feel your dick. It turns me on.” His gaze went to my mouth. “I can kiss you harder than I ever could kiss a girl. I can grab you harder, hold you harder, push, pull, touch . . . it’s like you’re unbreakable. That’s hot.”
