Take the wheel, p.1
Desired, page 1
Desired
BWWM Dark Bully Romance
The Crispin & Amina Series
Book Six
Jamila Jasper
Edited by
Rosie M
Content Notice
The content in this story may be disturbing to some readers. Sensitive readers beware, this is a dark BWWM bully romance novel with themes readers may find troubling and frank discussions about race that may disturb some readers.
Violence, strong language, potentially offensive content, sexual violence and death are all mentioned explicitly in this story.
This is a hot, slow-burn interracial romance story in an interconnected series.
Dive into my most popular serial, completely updated for readers who enjoy and prefer completed full-length novels.
Copyright © 2024 by Jamila Jasper
ISBN:
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book was previously published as a Kindle Vella story and will now be updated completely and published as an eBook. The story line, characters and structure will be updated and edited for the eBook format.
Please read this warning before purchasing this book or going any further.
Created with Vellum
Contents
Books In Series
Description
Crispin’s Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Crispin Barclay
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Crispin Barclay
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Crispin Barclay
About Jamila Jasper
Patreon
Thank You Kindly
Books In Series
The Crispin & Amina Series
Despicable
Damaged
Depraved
Deranged
Disturbed
Desired
Delirious
The Prequel Series
The Ben & Libby Series
Unlovable
Unattainable
Undesirable
Unwanted
Unraveled
Unbroken
In this book universe…
The third series in this book universe is currently exclusive to Patreon subscribers.
Click here to learn more:
www.patreon.com/jamilajasper
Description
I broke up with a billionaire bully and I won’t give him a second chance…
After our relationship ends, I convince myself I can live without Crispin.
We’re never going to be together.
It’s final.
After weeks apart, Crispin has other plans for me.
But how can I give the man who broke my heart a second chance?
It doesn’t matter how tall or hot he is.
He’s dangerous. Dark. And too willing to hurt people to get what he wants.
This spicy romance novel features an African American female lead and a British billionaire alpha male.
This is Book #6 in a series of dark interracial enemies to lovers bully romance books. If you enjoy spicy romance books that contain potentially triggering and offensive content with page-turning plots and addictive kindle-burning smuttiness, you will fall in love with this series.
This is a series of interconnected books about Crispin & Amina. I suggest beginning from Book #1.
Crispin’s Prologue
CRISPIN BARCLAY
I should have been happy. I was in bed. With her. And I was almost not drunk anymore, nearly sober. My nose hurt like hell. It burned, like I stuck a lighter up there and flicked it off and on for an hour. Twiggy…
She was tinier than I remembered and I hoped to God I made love to her.
“Twiggy…”
I reached over onto the other side of the bed, expecting to find her. My hand touched something soft. Probably her bum. Then I heard a loud whoosh through the air and groaned as a pillow connected with my face.
“OW!”
“We are not having sex when you’re drunk,” she snapped.
It’s her. She’s really here. She’s really mine. I couldn’t help but smile, even if she’d just assaulted me. Slightly.
“Of course we’re having sex,” I slurred, but really, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t touch her. “Forgive me…” I grumbled.
Amina’s voice came back sharp. And loud. She was really loud.
“You need to get off this bed and shower. You’re covered in vomit.”
“I’m fine. Just get me one of the pills, darling.”
Ouch.
“Another pillow, really?” I muttered.
“I’m not giving you drugs,” Amina snapped. “Get up.”
I opened an eye. The wrong one. I groaned and closed both of them again. “Don’t want to.”
“Crispin… you’re scaring me.”
Fuck. Her voice. It tugged on my heart. It made me want to stop. It made me want to hold her and never let her go. Why did I let her go? Couldn’t I forgive her? She was Amina after all. Mine.
“I’m fine.”
“Get. Up.”
“Okay.”
I have to listen to her. She’s mine. My twiggy angel. I could make out the cloud of her hair before the features on her face. Her skin was so dark and really beautiful. The light was dim and almost blue and it made her look shiny like an angel or something.
I remember the first time I touched it how hard she got me. It was such a struggle to hide how she made me feel. Especially my body. Touching her has always been the greatest high.
I propped myself up on my elbows even if I felt like shit and my hair was a bloody mess.
“What now, boss?” I grumbled, trying to smile at her afterwards and meeting Amina’s serious scowl.
“Take a shower. Please. I don’t want to wake anyone else up.”
“Come with me.”
“I’m not taking a shower with you. We’re broken up.”
I hated hearing her say those words. I knew the choice I’d made, but it hadn’t been easy. And having her here and so close to me made me forget what I’d made such a fuss about. I missed her.
“So? Don’t you miss me?” I complained.
“That’s not the point, white boy.”
So she had missed me. Ha.
“Come with me or I’ll piss the bed,” I threatened.
“That’s not as funny as you think it is.”
I got out of the bed and she followed me. Fuck. How the fuck did I get naked?
“Did I walk here naked?” I grumbled, leaning against the wall and examining the cold piece of metal that still hung pierced through my cock head. I couldn’t bring myself to remove it, even with that A dangling there. I didn’t really want any other girls anyway.
“The last half of the walk…” Amina muttered, distracting me from staring at my cock. “Vi saw your dick and congratulated me. So thanks for that.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
The next thing I knew, she had water pouring all over me and her little hands were all over my back, covered in soap. I loved how she touched me. She was all tough on the outside, which I liked, but she touched me like the gentlest little fairy. I loved that about her. Amina’s hands were always perfect and gentle. She touched everyone and everything as if they were fragile.
“I’m really sorry,” I whispered. And I was just sober enough to mean it properly.
“Your new eye looks nice,” she said, clearly trying to stay neutral and trying not to think about the awful things I’d done to her.
“Thanks.”
I shampooed my hair against my will. I rather liked it all greasy and smelly, but Amina insisted and started climbing me fully clothed to get up there, so I volunteered to wash my hair myself. I hated feeling like we were normal again.
Like I could just be with her.
“I love you,” I blurted out stupidly. Because that was also true.
“We’re broken up. I’m only saving your ass because it’s the right thing to do. So can we not do this? What were you even thinking?”
She shut the water off and threw a towel at me.
“I dunno.”
“Uh… I dunn
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing!” Amina yelled. “I can’t talk to you right now. I thought when I saw you we could talk, but we can’t talk when you’re drunk. You can barely stand.”
I was still struggling to wrap the towel around my waist, so I really didn’t have much ground to stand on there.
“I’m fine.”
I finally got it. Then I put my hands on my hips and looked at her properly. She was still so thin. Not pregnant anymore and not growing. I bit down hard on my lower lip. I didn’t need to make her feel any worse with my emotions.
“You look great,” I said. “Really great.”
“Crispin, just get dressed. Please.”
“I’m better,” I mumbled. “Like. I’m fine. It’s just a party.”
“I saw Kit’s house. You aren’t better and you aren’t fine. You’re on… a lot of drugs.”
“So is Bainbridge,” I muttered.
“That’s not the point. You’re mixing things. You’re injecting things. This isn’t like you, Crispin.”
“I dunno.”
She rolled her eyes and marched back into her bedroom — or at least, the guest room she’d occupied in Vi Bainbridge’s house and made hers.
I followed her back into the bedroom and reluctantly slipped into a mysterious large pair of grey sweatpants that I suppose she borrowed from one of the Bainbridge boys. I sat on the edge of the bed, the sweatpants barely covering my shins on account of my height. Even if they looked large, they still weren’t big enough for me.
Amina sat next to me. She put her head into her hands.
“I shouldn’t have let you come back here.”
“Why not?”
“Because… I don’t want to have sex.”
“Okay.”
I’ve never had a problem with that before. I just love being with her.
“I want to get back together,” I said. “I want you back.”
“Stop,” she snapped.
She tugged her hand away from mine, which hurt. I won’t lie about that. I wanted to take it back and force her to stay with me, right here, but I knew I would only scare her and fuck’s sake, I wanted to stop doing that.
“No,” Amina whispered. “We can’t do this right now. Okay? You need to rest and I need to stay up and watch you sleep so you don’t choke on your own vomit.”
“That’s a bit grim,” I whispered, wanting to pull her close to me and do anything aside from sleeping. She was always the most beautiful girl in any room. She didn’t realize it, or she didn’t care, but she was beautiful. And I was so close to having her again.
“I don’t care,” she said sternly. “Get into bed, Pip.”
Fuck’s sake. If I could remember when I was sober, I’d kill that wanker Kit.
“Pip? Please… don’t.”
Amina smirked and pointed to the bed. “Then get to bed or I’ll call you that diminutive name again.”
I loved when she got that sassy little face and I knew it would make her night if she could boss me around and help me sober up.
“Thanks,” I grumbled. Twiggy was right. I wasn’t in any position to argue. I didn’t even remember falling asleep. I wanted to argue with her more, but I was still high. And probably drunk. I felt her crawling into bed next to me and I pulled her against me.
I didn’t try anything with her. I didn’t dare do anything to send her running down the halls, even if it was nearly impossible to resist her soft bum pressing against my thigh. When she flipped over and rested her little head on my chest, I wanted to burst. Her hair had grown even longer, even if it hadn’t been longer than a few weeks, and I stroked it as she slept. I noticed these little details about Amina.
I always would. I could never stop myself from loving her unless I stopped myself from existing entirely. My obsession with her ached within me with unnatural fire. She did my head in. Completely.
But eventually, I must have fallen asleep and in the morning, Amina was gone. She’d sent Kit for me, which felt like a punishment. My hangover made Kit’s presence even more bloody annoying than it would have been. Strange burning pressed behind my good eye and if I moved the wrong way, I wanted to puke.
Kit entered the room oblivious and far too fucking happy. His hair looked a bloody mess, but that was to be expected.
The stupid wanker wore my shirt when he picked me up.
I wanted her back so badly. More than I wanted drugs. I couldn’t stand Kit’s presence without something to smooth it over. Preferably something small, digestible, and illegal.
“Kit I need a bump,” I grumbled.
“Why?” Kit snapped. “You blew through my stash and then thanks to you, I got mugged outside the pub.”
The pub had been a bloody nightmare. How should I have known Amina would show up with her mates?
“How is that my fault?”
“Apparently we look alike,” Kit responded, giving me an offended look, as if he were the one being insulted with the comment.
“We look nothing alike,” I grumbled, although we were often mistaken for brothers or twins. I followed him into the car, desperate to search every square foot of the Bainbridge estate for Amina, but too sick to my stomach to fight Kit as he dragged me off, insisting it was for the best and that Amina wouldn’t want to see me anyway.
I avoided arguing with him and slipped into the passenger seat of his car. I would see Amina at school soon. And when I did… I wouldn’t be giving up on her.
Quite the bloody opposite.
Kit turned the stereo up and drove us home. He was one of those boys who had been born a wanker. The house was still filthy when we got back in, but there was plenty for me waiting on the table.
“Your girlfriend’s fit,” Kit said as I greedily loaded up some brown powder in a spoon.
“Yeah. Not my girlfriend.”
“You didn’t shag her last night?”
“No. And can you stop talking about her?”
“She loves you, mate. I tried to shag her and she turned me down… me. I mean, what woman in her right mind would turn me down?”
“You’re a fucking virgin, Kit. So apparently, a lot of them.”
Kit scowled and stormed off. I couldn’t help being right, could I? But my stupid cousin was right about one thing.
Amina was fit. And she’d probably get pissed if I shot up whatever was in that spoon. I can’t remember which of my designer concoctions it was. Something strong and numbing. I set it down and leaned back into the chair, letting my hangover hit me with the force of a double decker bus. Better. I had to do better. For her. For August’s son.
For the vengeance I had planned for little Miss Katrina Grigsby and Barnaby Fox. Of course, I had to get Amina back first. That would be a challenge. But she was always worth it. Always.
Chapter 1
“Promise you didn’t shag him?” Vi asked, giving me a stern look as I sat on my bed. We’d just finished setting everything up in my new dorm room. The new Year 13 girls’ dorms were Thatcher’s and Elizabeth’s. I was in Thatcher’s, Vi was in Elizabeth’s and as she sat on my dorm bed, this was the tenth time she’d asked me if I cracked.
