Secrets and sin, p.9
Secrets and Sin, page 9
“I do,” Zack replied slowly, rubbing at his smooth-shaven chin. “It’s just—”
“It’s just,” she prompted. “That you won’t be here much longer?”
He was frowning at her statement.
“What makes you think I’m leaving right away?”
“Because you never come here, and when you do, you’re gone as soon as possible.”
There wasn’t any point in beating around the bush. She’d just say what she felt.
“I guess that’s true,” he admitted. “But this time…this time I’m not so sure. I’ve been thinking about it, and I might stick around for a bit. To see how the investigation goes. And as for Finn and Blake, I guess I’m just surprised that they can’t get anyone to talk. This town loves to talk.”
“They just might need some friendly encouragement. I’m sure they’re as shocked as we are. When you see them, just tell them that you’re cooperating with Finn and maybe they will, too.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” Zack approved. “Sarah’s disappearance deserves to be solved, and her mom deserves answers.”
The unspoken part was that Zack and his family deserved answers, too. It didn’t look like they were going to get them. Not this time. But maybe in the future.
“Is there something else bothering you?”
Because Zack was still frowning, his forehead furrowed with some sort of worry.
“I keep thinking…about Sarah’s disappearance and then my mom’s. What if they’re connected? What if the same person is responsible?”
It had crossed Lucy’s mind as well although she hadn’t dwelled on it. Other people had to have wondered also. Sarah and Lily were the only ones that Lucy could think of that had disappeared in the last twenty years.
“I can understand why you might think about that. But, they vanished eight years apart. That’s a long time for a criminal to just hang around and do nothing in between. If the disappearances were related, it would also indicate that Sarah and your mom were in some way connected. Did they even know one another?”
Lucy had read enough crime and mystery novels to know that the detective would try to find things the victims might have in common. Did they all go to the same hair salon? Did they shop in the same store? Did they have the same friends? What did Sarah and Lily have in common?
Zack. And Lucy didn’t think he was responsible.
“I know you’re right, but…”
“But you can’t stop thinking about it.”
“I can’t. It’s been bugging me since Mom disappeared. If they found Sarah, maybe Mom is out there, too.”
“I would imagine that Finn has thought about this. You could ask him if they’re going to continue to search that location.”
“I’m going to have to talk to him about it.”
“Finn is a good sheriff,” Lucy said. “He’s not like some of the others we’ve had.”
“I know,” Zack sighed. “I know he has experience and knows what he’s doing, but maybe I should hire a private investigator. They might be able to find something. Anything.”
“If people won’t talk to Finn, they aren’t going to talk to a stranger,” Lucy pointed out. “They’ll clam up and Finn won’t get anything out of them either.”
“Then maybe I should talk to them.”
She wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?
“You think you should do some investigating? Are you kidding? Do you know anything about investigating crimes?”
At least she’d read a bunch of books, but that didn’t mean she was going to start interrogating people.
“I wasn’t talking about investigating myself. I would just ask a few questions. Can you honestly say that you’re not curious about what happened to Sarah? I know I am.”
“I am curious,” Lucy admitted. “I knew that she had issues at home, but I didn’t know much more than that. She always seemed happy and upbeat. What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know what I’m saying,” Zack finally replied, frustration in his tone. “I’ve always believed that my dad knew more about Mom’s disappearance than he told the police. Now I’m wondering whether our friends knew more about Sarah than they let on, as well.”
“We can ask, but they may not answer us. They may not know any more than we do. Maybe Sarah didn’t confide in anyone.”
“There had to be someone,” he said with a shake of his head. “I confided in my mom. Surely, Sarah had someone in her life she could talk to.”
“Not everyone does. It would be wonderful if that was true, but sadly, I don’t think that it is.”
“I think Ethan knows more than he’s saying.”
“You’ll have a chance to ask him more tomorrow, right?”
“You don’t think this is a good idea.”
It was a delicate matter. Lucy didn’t want to hurt Zack, but he might not be thinking all that clearly at the moment. He was allowing his emotions to make the decisions.
“I think that you’re upset about this whole situation, and you want to make some sense out of it. That’s not a bad thing. But you may find that you’re banging your head against a wall that already has a lot of dents from other people’s heads.”
A smile bloomed on his face, and he started to laugh. A few heads down the hall whipped around at the sound. This was going to make the gossip rounds.
Lucy Gilbert and Zack Winslow were laughing in a quiet alcove during the reception.
“That’s the funniest analogy I think I’ve ever heard. It’s hilarious. Now I’m picturing this big brick wall with dents in it.”
“Good. That’s what I was hoping for.”
“And I know that you’re right. I’m simply trying to make some sense out of my world. But I probably can’t do that tonight. How about we go inside and get a slice of cake? I hear it’s chocolate.”
“The magic words. I want a piece of cake. Maybe two.”
She let Zack escort her back into the reception hall, but her mind was still on Zack’s words from earlier. Did their friends know more about what happened to Sarah than they were letting on? Was Ethan hiding something?
Zack wasn’t the only one who was curious.
9
“We’re headed to the bar to knock back a few whiskeys,” Tate said as the reception was beginning to break up. People were starting to leave, and the hall was emptying quickly. “Are you in?”
Normally, Zack would have loved to have joined Tate and Sam for a couple of drinks, but tonight wasn’t the night. His emotions were still too raw, and his head was filled with more questions than he had answers to. Right now he couldn’t be with his brothers when they had the same questions and maybe more. He didn’t want to sit around and feel sorry for himself. He wanted… Shit, he didn’t even know what he wanted, but he knew it wasn’t the company of his siblings. He loved them, but he couldn’t commiserate with them.
Zack had made a mental note, however, to talk to Sam. It was easy to see that his youngest brother wasn’t buying whatever bullshit their dad was selling these days. Working with their father on a regular basis would have driven a saint to the bottle, and Sam was no saint. He wanted to make sure his brother was okay. If he wanted out of the family business - if he was looking to make a change - Zack had the connections in the financial industry to help him out.
Assuming that I don’t need that help for myself.
“I think I’m going to pass,” Zack replied. “I get maudlin when I drink whiskey.”
“I’ve got gin, too,” Tate laughed. “Hell, I’ll make you a pina colada if you want.”
“I definitely don’t want that. Seriously, go ahead. I’ll catch up with you guys tomorrow. Why don’t we do lunch? My treat.”
“If my big brother is paying, it’s a yes,” Sam grinned. “How about the pizza place on Third?”
“Twelve sharp,” Zack said. “I’ll be there.”
Lucy.
They’d somehow become separated after the cake-cutting, and he wanted to offer her a ride home. She wasn’t in the main hall, so he walked out into the hallway where he found her chatting with her parents.
Stuart and Gail Gilbert were certainly giving him the once-over as he approached. Lucy might be over thirty, but parents will always be parents. They were wondering what he was up to, especially Gail. From the speculative expression on her face, she wanted to ask him about a million questions, but only pressed her lips together when Lucy gave her a warning look.
“Zack, do you remember my parents, Stuart and Gail Gilbert?”
“I do. It’s nice to see you again, Mr and Mrs Gilbert. Did you enjoy the reception?”
“We did,” Stuart said. “Very lovely. Kim has excellent taste in music and flowers.”
“She does,” Zack agreed. “I’m sure she worked hard to put it together.”
“It was all so lovely,” Gail said. “And that moment for your mother had tears in everyone’s eyes.”
“Mom,” Lucy said sharply. “I don’t think we should talk about that.”
“It’s fine,” Zack cut in swiftly.
He didn’t want to be the cause of an argument between mother and daughter.
Stuart cleared his throat and pulled his car keys from his pocket.
“We should probably get on the road. At my age, I don’t stay up much past ten.”
Was Lucy riding with her parents? That hadn’t occurred to him until now, but it made sense.
“Actually…” Lucy began, her gaze on Zack.
“We should be going, Gail,” Stuart said. “Lucy, give us a call tomorrow if you have time.”
Gail apparently didn’t want to go. She started to protest but Stuart had his wife by the elbow and was leading her out of the hallway, leaving Lucy and Zack behind.
“I hope you walked over here to offer me a ride home,” Lucy said when her parents had exited the building. “Because otherwise I’m going to have to walk. My mom and dad gave me a ride so that we both didn’t have to park.”
Parking on campus was a pain in the ever-loving ass.
“I did,” he confirmed. “I have to say that your mother didn’t look too thrilled to leave you alone with me. Does she think I’m a serial killer?”
“No, she just wanted to hang around and listen in to our conversation. She’s nosy and proud of it.”
“Everyone needs a hobby.”
“I wish hers was knitting. Seriously, you’re going to give me a ride home? My feet are killing me in these high heels. Tonight I remembered why I rarely wear them.”
“Then maybe I should pick you up out front. I parked a ways down the block.”
“I’m good. As long as we’re not walking back to the bookstore.”
“I’ll take you to your front door.”
They didn’t say much as they walked out of the building and down the sidewalk. It was dark, just like the night before, although there were more people around this time. Guests were milling around the building and lingering at their vehicles, chatting with others. Zack could feel the weight of the stares as they ambled down the block.
They climbed into his rental, and he started up the engine. It only took a moment, and the hall was out of sight. He wished the memory of the wedding could be purged from his mind as efficiently. It had affected him far more than he’d thought it would. He didn’t care that his father was moving on and marrying another woman. That wasn’t it at all. It was that Joel Winslow simply couldn’t acknowledge that what he was doing might look tawdry and downright tacky. He could never admit to any flaws or weakness.
Joel was always right in every situation. End of story.
“I don’t know where you live,” Zack admitted as they left campus. “I assume somewhere near the bookstore.”
“I live in the condos on Elm,” Lucy said.
Since the town rarely changed, he knew exactly where she was talking about. They’d been built when he was in high school.
He stopped at a stop sign, and although the way was clear, he didn’t go. He simply sat there, knowing that once again he wouldn’t sleep. His mind was far too active, and it would give him no respite. He could drop Lucy off and go for one of his walks again.
But he didn’t want to be alone.
Another thing he liked about Lucy. She was good at going with the flow.
“I swear to you I’m not always this flaky,” he said. “And I appreciate your patience with me. I’m usually not spontaneous. At all.”
“I know. That’s why I think this might be a good thing for you. It’s okay not to have every moment of your life planned out, Zack. Sometimes you can just let things happen in their own time.”
“You’re very Zen. Were you always like this?”
He didn’t remember either way from when they were back in school.
“My dad says that I’m laid back and easygoing. That I handle stress well. My former employer said that, too, before I came back to town and bought the bookstore. I guess I’m just one of those people that thinks things will work out.”
“Do they? Work out, I mean?”
“Sometimes, although I’m not so laid back that I don’t try and help it all go the way that I want. But when things don’t always work out as I’d planned, I try not to get too upset. Pivot and regroup. That’s my motto. Roll with the punches, if you know what I mean.”
“I had to do that in my job, but I wouldn’t say that I’m good with that in my personal life.”
“Do you want to live your life less planned? Or are you happy being that way? If you are, then that’s how you should be. Screw everyone else. Be what you want to be.”
“I don’t have a clue what I want. That’s the problem.”
“I said it last night, and I’ll say it again. No one is pressuring you but yourself.”
“You’re pretty wise for someone a year younger than me,” Zack teased, finally pulling through the intersection.
“I’ve got you fooled. I’m only good with other people’s problems. I’m crap with my own.”
Zack turned down Elm and then into the condo community.
“I’m on the right there. The one with the daisy flag on the garage.”
He parked in the driveway, turning off the engine.
“We should go to the lake,” he heard himself saying. “I want to take you on a date. We can grill some food, maybe even swim. We’ll have a picnic. What do you say?”
“I say yes. I haven’t been to the lake in years. My parents would take us there every summer. Dad would grill hamburgers and hot dogs on one of those grills, and we’d swim in the lake. I’d get all sunburned and the mosquitoes would get me, too. When I was a kid, summers seemed to only last for a split second and the winters seemed to be forever. Now that I’m older, time just passes quickly every part of the year.”
“Waiting for Christmas morning was torture,” Zack laughed. “The month of December seemed like it was longer than the other eleven months combined. We would go out here, too, with Mom. Dad rarely came. He was always busy at the office, but Mom loved to take us out here. She and Aunt Kim would lie on a couple of those folding lounge chairs while us kids ran around and wore ourselves out. I think we all slept great when we got home.”
“Is that why you want to go there?”
Her voice was hushed and soft, almost reverent for their surroundings.
“I want to be someplace where I was happy. When I didn’t have any problems.”
“When was the last time you didn’t have problems, Zack?”
“I know you think I’m going to say right before Mom disappeared, but it was earlier than that. Maybe…high school? Shit, it was before that, too. I was probably thirteen or fourteen when I seriously started thinking about getting out of Winslow Heights. I guess I’ve had problems of one sort or another for a long time.”
“Zack, that might be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. You were old before your time. Did you even enjoy being a kid?”
“I did.”
“You don’t sound too sure.”
Was he sure? Yes, he’d had a terrific childhood. But perhaps it hadn’t lasted as long as it could have.
“I had fun. But I always knew that my dad had plans for me.”
From a young age, Joel had been vocal about his hopes and dreams for his oldest child.
She glanced out of the window and then back at Zack.
“Do you want to come inside for awhile? Maybe have a glass of wine?”
“Lucy, that’s the best offer I’ve had in a long time. Lead the way.”
What was it about this woman that he wanted to be with her all of the time? He’d never felt that way about anyone else. Not that he could remember. He’d always been the cool, reserved one in his relationships. He’d been home less than two days, but already Lucy was the one person he wanted to spend all his time with.
She felt more like home than Winslow Heights did.
10
It wasn’t Lucy’s habit to invite men into her home, especially at night. She hadn’t dated much since returning to her hometown, mostly because she hadn’t met anyone that she was truly attracted to. She’d had her heart broken, but she wasn’t avoiding romance. She wasn’t seeking it out either.
But since running into Zack yesterday, it felt like the whole world had been turned on its head. She hadn’t felt this sort of heat with a man in a long time. It wasn’t just that he was incredibly handsome and sexy. He was a nice person, too.
She’d been surprised to hear herself inviting him in, but when she’d had a moment to think about it, it had been a foregone conclusion. She didn’t want their time together to be over. She wanted the evening to continue. She liked being with him, enjoyed his company.
Lucy wasn’t a virgin or naive. There was a subtext when a woman invited a man into her home after a date, an unspoken offer of physical intimacy. It wasn’t a hard and fast rule. A female could certainly spend time with a man without the expectation of sex, but the thought was out there. It was the elephant with pink and purple polka dots in the corner of the room that she couldn’t ignore.
