Slay complete series, p.70
Slay Complete Series, page 70
She chuckled at that. “You guessed your birthday present. I had thought about throwing in the socks as well, but they wouldn’t be so noticeably embarrassing when you wore them.”
That earned her a smile. “Well. This dinner has been delightful. Is there any other bomb you’d like to drop on me this evening, Genny, before I retire for the night?”
“Only one more—I’d like to be called Genevieve from now on. It’s more professional. Genny is so girlish.”
She was trying to kill me. She really was.
This, at least, I could give without debate. “I always did like the name Genevieve.”
“Go figure.” She stood, and I with her. “I should probably get back to my flat. Long day tomorrow. You’re staying the night?”
I nodded. “It doesn’t make sense to drive the two hours back only to turn around and come here again in the morning. You could stay here as well. I’m sure Iba wouldn’t mind preparing your room.” It was only half an hour to Cambridge, but as always, I worried.
She shook her head. “I didn’t bring my cap or gown and that would be an added hassle in the morning.”
I nodded then reached out to hug her good night.
“Thank you for listening,” she said. “And for trying to understand.”
My throat burned, so I didn’t speak. I just squeezed her a little harder. Then, as difficult as it was, I let her go.
Upstairs in the estate’s master bedroom, I took off my jacket and sat down on the bed with a sigh. I’d brought a glass of brandy up with me, and though I’d already drunk half of it, I still felt just as restless as I had before my first swallow.
It had been an endless day.
A day revolved around the most important women in my life. They each fought for individual attention in my mind. Would Genevieve be better for pushing her away? I’d tried that tactic with Camilla, and years of additional scars and therapy later I wasn’t sure I wasn’t to blame for a good portion of her pain.
And Celia trusted me enough to bring another human into my universe.
Did she not understand what sort of mistake that would be? Was there any way to keep her without paying that cost?
And then there was Marion.
I’d have to deal with her tomorrow. I couldn’t think about her now. Not in the state I was in.
I took another long swallow then looked at my cell phone, the missed call notification still at the top of my screen. It was well after ten. Celia should be asleep, considering she had to be up early the next day.
I cleared the notification then plugged my phone into the charger we kept beside the bed. Even if she was still awake, I wasn’t sure I could find the words she’d need from me. The explanations she would surely expect. The promises she’d want me to make. Not tonight.
It was probably better that we not talk until I could.
SEVENTEEN
CELIA
I made it to Bluntisham a little after nine in the morning. Thank goodness that I had a driver so I could spend most of the ride with an ice pack over my swollen eyes. Then, the last fifteen minutes, I did my makeup, hoping the heavy layer of foundation would hide the dark bags. It was an important day for Genny, which made it an important day for Edward, and even though I was still stewing and fretting about his absence and what it meant, I intended to give them the event she deserved.
Though, the thought of seeing Marion again, of having to watch her and Edward interact amongst friends who probably knew her better than me, made me nauseated.
It was time to bring out the old Celia, the one who could fake her way through anything.
The façade fell immediately when I walked into the kitchen of the country house and found Edward standing at the island, a mug in his hand, the local newspaper spread out in front of him, a half-eaten omelet at its side. He was already in his trousers and white dress shirt. His tie was still open at his neck, but his suspenders were on, and damn did that man look good eating breakfast. It was insane how good.
“You’re here,” I said, stunned. I’d expected I wouldn’t see him until I was surrounded by others. If I’d known I would have had a chance to talk to him alone before that, I would have prepared my anger. Instead, all I could do was blink at him in surprise.
He looked up, a smile lighting his face at the sight of me. “Of course I’m here. Where else would I be?”
All casual like. As if he hadn’t just up and disappeared the evening before.
Not sure where the staff was, having come in through the side door, I paused a beat before I spoke so that I wouldn’t make a scene. Still, my words came out terse. “You didn’t come home last night. I had no idea where else you might be.”
He set down his mug and stuck his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t come home because I was already here. It seemed a waste of a drive.”
That was all the explanation he planned to give? He was maddening.
“Why were you already here? Was I supposed to know you were here? Why didn’t you answer my calls? Were you alone?”
He smirked as he came around the island and walked toward me. I was too angry for whatever he had in mind, but I couldn’t seem to move, his eyes pinning me in place.
“You’re cute when you’re suspicious,” he said, wrapping his arms around me.
I tried to squirm free with no luck against his firm grip. “You’re an asshole when…” The ways I could finish that sentence were endless. “Well, most of the time, actually.”
Refusing to look at him, I stared at his neck, at the skin that would be covered up when he buttoned his collar. It was astounding how hypnotic a man’s throat could be.
He brought his hand up to my chin and tipped it until I was forced to look up and my gaze crashed into baby blues. “Yes, I was alone,” he said. “When I slept, anyway, since that’s what you’re really asking. I was not alone before that.”
My mouth fell open, but before I could react further, he went on.
“Genevieve was here. She asked me spur of the moment to have dinner with her.”
“Oh,” I said, processing. And then when I’d processed, I said it again, this time in relief. “Ohhh.”
His daughter. That’s what would take him away so urgently. Not Marion. Everything was fine.
Unless, Genny wasn’t fine. “Anything wrong?” I asked, suddenly concerned.
“Nope. She just wanted to talk to me before the big day.”
She’d needed him, and he’d been there for her. Came running at the drop of a hat, even. And he thought he wasn’t a good father.
A different kind of jealousy pinged in my chest.
“Anything important?” I buttoned his collar and began working on his tie.
“She got a job. I’ll leave her to tell you the details. Well beneath her, but she’s happy about it.”
I tightened the knot and patted it down. “So you will be too.”
“I’m trying to be.” He grimaced. “And she’d prefer we call her Genevieve from now on.”
“Got it.” I completely understood the girl, remembering exactly what it felt like to be that age, wanting to be taken seriously.
Still it had to be hard on Edward to realize his daughter was a grown-up. I rubbed my hand against the stubble at his jaw.
He gave a small smile that quickly turned right back into a frown. “You’ve been crying. Your eyes are puffy.”
“Oh, God. Do I look terrible?” I pulled away and scanned for something I might be able to see my reflection in.
But he pulled me instantly back into his arms. “You look stunning, bird. I would have said so first thing if you hadn’t directed the conversation elsewhere. I promise that no one will notice your eyes unless they looked hard and long at you every day, and I better be the only person who does that. So, tell me, why were you crying?”
Remnants of my fury returned. “My husband didn’t come home after discussing a subject that was very important to me. Why do you think I was crying?”
His reasons for not coming home may have been warranted, but the way he had treated me was unacceptable. Marion might have let that kind of behavior slide. There was no way his current wife would.
He let out a sigh and pressed his forehead to mine. “You’re right. I’m an arsehole.”
“I’m glad you agree. Unfortunately, I doubt that acknowledgment alone will change how you behave.”
“You’re probably right there too.” His candor was both charming and irritating.
I stretched my arms around his neck, allowing myself to hold him for the first time that morning. “You could try though, maybe? To be a little more considerate to what I might be thinking in situations like that? To show me the respect you expect me to show you?”
He considered. “Yes. I can try.”
Well. That had gone better than expected.
He sealed the agreement with a kiss that wasn’t at all chaste. He tasted like coffee and, faintly, like toothpaste, and if it hadn’t been for the long list of items on my to-do list, I would have been happy to stay right there and continue kissing him for much longer.
“I better…” I said, pushing away.
This time he let me go.
I started out of the kitchen, the knot in my stomach considerably looser than when I’d awoken. The day was still young, and there were still a lot of things to be anxious about, but at least where Edward had spent the night wasn’t one of them.
Or was I being too trusting?
I stopped at the doorway and looked back toward him. “You really only came out to see Genny. Er, Genevieve? There’s nothing else I should know?”
“I really only came for Genevieve.” He sounded genuine, and I was sure it was the truth. It would be easy enough to prove otherwise. He wasn’t the type to tell disputable lies.
Still, not everything was settled between us. Whether it was just the conversation from the day before that remained unfinished or something else stirring in the air, I didn’t know. Either way, I was going to have to try to ignore it for now.
* * *
The rest of the morning flew by with preparations for the party. Camilla arrived soon after I did, Freddie’s sitter in tow, so she could help out, which I hadn’t thought I’d need but was grateful for in the end. Edward hid away in his office during most of the hubbub, but he came out near the end and helped with the finishing details. Then we all drove together to Cambridge for the graduation.
Marion arrived with Hagan who had brought a date, putting one more person between where she sat and where Edward sat, which was definitely a plus in my book. At least she was out of my eyesight, and while I could still feel her presence most of the time, I managed to forget about her for long stretches of time during the commencement ceremony.
Afterward was a different story.
Though Camilla was an excellent photographer, Edward had hired a professional as well so that she didn’t have to work a family event. That meant lots of pictures—several of which had the star of the day posing between her beaming parents. Pictures that I was mostly not a part of since I had to head back right away to greet early guests.
The arrangement made sense—me going early with Camilla, and Edward, Marion, Hagan, and Genevieve following later—but that didn’t mean I had to like it. I lingered after the last big group shot before leaving, my chest tight with envy as I watched them take a few immediate family shots.
They looked good like that, the four of them. Hagan tall and chiseled like his father. Genevieve a perfect blend of both her parents. Edward dominating each setup without even trying. Marion always posed just a little too close.
“They won’t be too long after us,” Camilla said, misreading my hesitation. “And if we hurry, we can have a glass of champagne before anyone else arrives.”
That was all I needed to prod me away. “Count me in.”
Everything after that moved in a whirlwind. Guests began arriving almost as soon as we got to the house, people I didn’t know and had only heard of when filling out the guest lists with Edward and Genevieve. Fortunately, Camilla knew most of them and was able to play hostess while I took deep breaths, smiled a bunch, and tried not to hyperventilate.
When Edward showed up, I felt much calmer, even though his presence meant Marion’s as well. She quickly found some friends from the past that occupied her, though, which was a relief. By that time, most of my party-planning assignment was completed. Iba managed the caterers and took care of any hiccups that occurred while Edward paraded me around the party introducing me to more people than I’d possibly be able to remember. It was busy and I constantly had to be “on,” but being at my husband’s side made it sort of fun. I liked the attention he gave me, the way his voice intoned when he said my name, with similar pride that he bestowed on Genny.
It was more than an hour into the event when Edward finally let me slip away while he talked boring financials with someone from the company. I still hadn’t had a chance to congratulate his daughter, and it felt like the perfect opening.
She was gathered with a small group of women, but she didn’t seem to be that engaged with the current conversation, so I tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention.
“You did it!” I exclaimed, embracing her when she turned around. “I can’t imagine the kind of hard work it took to get top honors. Your father is proud of you. I am, too, for that matter.”
She was beaming when we separated. “Thank you. And thank you so much for the party. It’s exactly what I wanted. High class but laid back. It’s very...” She searched for the word to describe it.
“Mature,” I said, helping her out.
“Yes. Exactly,” she laughed.
“I’m glad to be a part of it. It’s all my pleasure.” It was an honest statement. Edward was traditional and bossy with my time, but being in charge of the party planning had been my idea. The project felt similar to design work. There was an esthetic and a mood that Genevieve had wanted to capture, and I approached it in the same way I would have if she’d asked me to redo her apartment.
Plus, she was Edward’s daughter, and I’d had very little opportunity to get to know her since she had been at school, and that bothered me for selfish reasons. She was a part of my husband’s life that I wasn’t a part of, a part of his life that I envied. Right now she and Hagan were as close as I had to having a child of my own.
“Well, good on you then,” she said. “I wouldn’t know where to begin to do something like this, let alone want to. Believe me when I say that your skills are much appreciated.”
“I second that,” came a voice from the group behind her. “Thank you for this.”
My stomach dropped, recognizing who it was. Genevieve stepped to the side inviting me into the circle of women, and exposing the one particular one I’d missed. “Marion, I didn’t see you there. Sorry to steal your daughter away like that.”
Something flashed across her eyes making me reexamine what I’d just said. Realizing the statement had been an unintended threat to her motherhood, I didn’t feel any regrets. If she had insecurities about her parenting skills, that wasn’t my problem. No, my problem was my own insecurities, both about parenting and wifing.
She got me back with a jab of her own, whether she realized it or not. “No problem. We were only talking about her as a baby. Difficult pregnancy. Very easy birth.”
People had spoken about their pregnancies in front of me numerous times, and it had never bothered me in the slightest. Hearing about it from Edward’s ex-wife was a different story. She’d owned his heart. I was certain of that, even though he’d never said as much. He loved me too, but I didn’t know if I owned his heart.
On top of owning his heart, she’d mothered his children. He’d wanted her to mother his children. I was equally certain about that fact. Edward didn’t let even insignificant details occur in his life without his direction. There was no way he hadn’t been one hundred percent on board with her getting pregnant.
And I wanted to be pregnant with his child. And I wanted to own his heart. And suddenly in that moment, despite all the evidence to the contrary, I was convinced I would never have either.
I was soaking in envy, and it was hard to pretend otherwise.
There was nothing to do but lean into it. “Was that why you stopped at two? Because of the difficult pregnancy?”
She shook her head. “The pregnancy was hard because she was a girl. I’m convinced.” She laughed, making light of the superstition. “And because Genny was stubborn, even in the womb.”
Her daughter winced. Apparently Marion hadn’t gotten the memo about the name change.
“But it was a fluke,” she continued. “I didn’t have problems before or after with my boys. No, it wasn’t for the pregnancy. Edward would have had more, I believe, but two was a good number to have. Easy to manage when they’re small. It worked out well, I think.” She gave a loving yet distant smile to Genevieve.
And I tried not to hyperfocus on the five words that stung like a million bee stings at once. Edward would have had more.
More with Marion, not with me. Not unless I gave up every last shred of my control. Not unless I gave up Hudson.
I was well aware that his thoughts on more children could have changed over the twenty plus years since Genny was born, but I was overwhelmingly vulnerable when it came to this woman. I was ridiculous and insecure.
I was so wrapped up in my inner misery, I almost missed Marion’s question, only the sound of my name caught my attention.
“...Celia? Do you want children?”
I could feel the color drain from my face. The rest of the women—wives of businessmen, ladies I’d only been introduced to as a second thought, socialites and trophies like my mother had been—looked eagerly at me, waiting for an answer. This was exactly the kind of gossip Madge Werner’s type lived for. Even if I had a solid answer, I wouldn’t want to share it with them.
