When a moth loved a bee, p.10
When a Moth loved a Bee, page 10
Chapter Eleven
. Girl .
I TRIPPED INTO CAMP, SYN at my heels, my basket empty of grain, and my heart still pounding.
Is he the one?
The one who tasted like midnight and honey?
I felt sick.
Cruel.
Cold-hearted.
If he was the one, why didn’t I recognise him? Why was his face as strange to me as the Nhil males when I’d first met them? Why didn’t my memories come flooding back, unlocked thanks to his finding me?
I flinched as Syn huffed beside me.
The way he’d looked at me. The sorrow in his stare and the pleading in his touch. He hadn’t been a threat, even though fear convinced me otherwise. He’d just been lost…just like me. Lost and confused and so terribly alone.
What have I done?
I should’ve made him come back with me.
I should’ve stopped Syn.
I should’ve—
“Girl?” Niya intercepted me as I rushed toward Solin’s lupic. I gripped my empty basket as her eyes met mine, full of friendship and happiness, but then they clouded as she drank me in. “By the fire, what happened?” Grabbing my basket, she tossed it to the ground as her gaze narrowed at the spray of blood across my belly. The blood that’d spurted from the man as Syn ripped into him. The man with a mark like me, no memories like me, and the unexplainable gift of suddenly knowing two different languages.
Like me.
Had I been born knowing the first tongue he’d used? An almost lyrical, guttural language that came from the heart instead of the mind, or had I spoken Firenese first? I’d been dying by the river when Niya found me. My mind had been loose and almost untethered from my mortal body when she first spoke. I couldn’t remember if I could understand Niya from the very first words she’d said or if my mind had slowly grown used to her language, twisting itself to understand, just like it had with the strange tongue the man had used.
The man who was hurt…bleeding—
“Answer me.” Niya grabbed my elbow, her black eyes locked on the dried crimson marking me. “Did someone hurt you? Did Aktor or Kivva—”
“No.” I shook my head, pulling my arm out of her grasp. “It wasn’t them.” Glancing around, I cringed as other Nhil people cast curious glances our way as they went about their afternoon. Syn huffed again and took off, her two tails lashing, bolting back into the grass ringing the camp.
Had she gone to chase after the man she’d hurt? The man who’d snarled as savagely as the very wolves who’d hunted me?
Was he dead?
Could someone survive a wound like that?
I shouldn’t have sent him away!
It didn’t matter that he’d touched me, scared me, and tried to take me. All I could remember was his howl of pain as Syn’s fangs sank into his arm and—
“Girl, you’re scaring me.” Niya lowered her voice to a whisper. “You can speak to me. You can tell me anything. I’ll always keep whatever you tell me in confidence. So, tell me…what happened?”
Swallowing hard, I hugged myself, trying to hide the spray of blood. “It’s not mine. It’s…there was…” I bit my lip. How could I tell her a naked, filthy man was out in the grasslands? A man whose skin seemed to hold a shred of midnight, even while the sun shone. A man whose black hair touched his shoulders with tangles and leaves and eyes that were as smoky and as mysterious as the shadows?
His voice had been as deep as thunder rippling over the horizon. His body carved from the very stones that made up mountains. And the mark on his thigh—in the same position as mine—had bled, just like me.
Everything about him had been rich and raw and real.
I’d been drawn to him, aware of him, but…I didn’t remember him.
And that had broken a piece of him that’d watched me with such hope.
Nausea crawled up my throat with guilt.
Hyath suddenly appeared from her lupic, a short distance from Solin’s. She carried a basket of fresh river reeds, no doubt to sit by the central fire and weave more bowls and mats that were used to cover the earth and hold food in our homes.
Her eyes cast over us, held, then narrowed. She shifted course, striding quickly toward us.
Niya stiffened a little and crossed her arms. “Hyath, you can’t tell anyone.”
“Tell anyone what?” Her gaze switched from friendly curiosity to tight with worry as she noticed the blood on my belly. “Oh, by the fire…what happened?”
“She won’t tell me,” Niya muttered. “She just keeps blinking.”
Hyath studied me for a moment before grabbing my hand and yanking me into Solin’s lupic.
The moment the heavy bison hide cocooned us, Hyath let me go and placed the basket of reeds on the ground by the entrance. The small hearth waited for a fire and the furs Solin slept in were tidy and made. My own furs on the other side of the lupic had been rolled up—like I did every morning so as not to take up too much space.
“The Fire Reader is with Tral and Tiptu,” Hyath said, stepping toward the large wooden bowl that held water for drinking, cooking, and cleaning. “They’re arranging a small feast in honour of their new son, so we have time to talk privately.”
Using one of the carved cups waiting on the floor by the bowl, she scooped up some water, snatched a strip of supple animal skin that was used for washing hands and faces, then came toward me.
I allowed Niya to lead me to sit on the reed mats around the empty hearth. No one spoke as Hyath wet the animal skin, then held it out to me with a raised eyebrow.
I took it, blinking as water dripped through my fingers.
“Use it to wipe off the blood, Girl,” Hyath said quietly, her eyes tightening with worry. The two women shared a look as I shook my head, dispelling the repeating images of the man being mauled by Syn. The man who looked at me as if I held his very heart.
I shuddered and washed away his blood.
The water was cold on my warm flesh, reminding me of his touch. His fingers had been rough and dirty but cool and refreshing in the sun. And when his skin touched mine…
I gulped.
He’d been right.
It stung.
His touch stung with a power I couldn’t describe. An awareness full of stinging possibilities. It’d been so potent, so painful, that I’d forgotten to look at the sky to see if I’d be punished.
“That’s good; all clean.” Hyath took the sodden skin from me before setting it on the upturned log next to her that was used as a stool or table. “Now…” She narrowed her eyes at me, then Niya. “Tell us what happened.” Licking her lips, she added, “We lost sight of you while we were in the grass. After we separated to gather grain in different locations, I just assumed you’d headed back to camp when we couldn’t see you. What happened? What did you see? What got hurt? An animal?”
“Not what,” I whispered, hugging my now damp belly. “Who.”
Both girls stiffened. They didn’t speak, waiting for me to continue. The steady thud of four paws wrenched up my chin as the entrance flaps parted, moving aside for the sleek lynx to pad her way inside.
Niya scratched Syn on her muscular flank as she passed by but stayed silent as Syn walked right into me, headbutting my chest with her adolescent head and baby antlers. A breath escaped me as she whimpered and collapsed into my lap, her two tails lank over the mats as she lowered her head into my arms.
The silence turned heavy as the two Nhil women saw, just as clearly as I did, the blood staining Syn’s muzzle and white-silvery chest.
“Oh no…” Hyath shuddered beside me. “Did she…did she kill someone?” She fell backward onto her rear, her hands clamping over her mouth. “Who? Who did she kill?”
Syn whined again, snuggling deeper into my arms as if seeking my forgiveness. Part of me wanted to deny her attempts at an apology—she shouldn’t have attacked that man. If she hadn’t, he might have come back with me. He could be here, right now, ready to join us for a feast and most likely be granted the same wonderful welcome as me.
But then again, if she hadn’t attacked him, he would’ve taken me away. He had me over his shoulder, running in the wrong direction, taking me from my new friends—friends who had saved my life and given me a home.
So really, Syn didn’t need my forgiveness because she was the reason I was here and not gone. She’d given me her protection without question and done what she believed was right for her pack.
It was me who should’ve stopped her.
Me who should’ve insisted he return to camp, so the Nhil healers could tend him.
But those shadows…
They’d come from nowhere and coiled sinisterly around his legs. They’d wrapped around Syn until she yelped and fought back, far worse than before.
He was otherworldly.
Magical.
Different.
Sighing deeply, I wrapped my arms around the feline and pressed a kiss to her head. “Thank you for protecting me, Syn, but next time—”
“Next time?” Niya exploded. “What next time? She protected you? From what? From who?”
With the lynx in my arms, words were easier to speak. “I walked farther than I thought. I fell into the rhythm of harvesting and didn’t see how far I’d gone. I heard something behind me. I thought it was you, coming to say our chores were over for the day, but there was a…man.”
“A man?” Hyath’s pale skin flushed. “What man? One of our men?”
I shook my head. “Someone I’ve never seen before.”
“A wanderer then? Someone walking from village to village in Quelis? Sharing our tales and spreading news from afar?”
“I-I don’t think he was a wanderer.” I pictured him again. The wildness of him. The feralness and harshness. He’d smelled of earth and moss, as if he lived somewhere the sun couldn’t touch with beasts unlike us. “He was alone.” I shook my head, forcing myself to keep talking. “He spoke a different language, but I understood him somehow.” I swallowed hard as I looked at both girls. “H-He said he’s been searching like I have. That he lost his memories and didn’t know where his people were.”
“He’s like you!” Niya gasped, sitting on her knees, her fur coverings bristling as she inhaled deeply. “By the fire, Girl! He could be from your home. He could know you. Did you know him? Why didn’t you bring him back with you?”
Syn whimpered and curled up tighter against me as if she knew we would blame her. Stroking the lynx, I murmured, “Because he tried to take me back to the family that saved him. He was rather…insistent.” I shrugged, sweeping over the fact he’d hauled me over his shoulder and ran swifter than any mortal I knew. “That’s when Syn attacked him.”
Both women had no response.
As one, they looked at Syn and her red-stained mouth.
“She bit him?” asked Niya.
I nodded. “Badly.”
“How badly?”
“His arm was torn to the bone.” Prickles danced down my back; my heart pounded harder. What if he was unconscious in the grasslands? What if he didn’t survive? What about fevers and sickness and—
“We have to find him. If he’s hurt, then he needs a healer,” Hyath said. “Way will help.”
I blinked in surprise. “You’d do that? You’d help him? Even when he tried to take me?”
Even though he bleeds shadow?
Hyath shifted onto her knees, matching Niya’s position. “If he’s like you and has no memories or anyone to call his own, then I suppose his actions at trying to take you are understandable. You probably don’t remember this, because you were in and out of awareness for days after we brought you back to camp, but while you were healing, you kept trying to crawl out of your furs and resume your search. You were very insistent that you had to find what you’d lost. You spoke of things I still don’t understand.”
“What things?” I asked.
“Things like—”
“Sunshine murdering life and the moon granting death an everlasting sanctuary.” Solin’s voice cut through the lupic as he entered. Outside, the sun was setting in a blaze of oranges, golds, and purples. Letting the flap slide back into position, Solin clasped his hands over the fur wrapped around his thighs and came toward us. He didn’t stop until he towered above, his dark skin glistening with heat and his hair heavy with carved beads. Beads I’d helped make, taught by older Nhil women who used tree sap to roll and pierce before baking them in the fire.
“Why are you three in here, talking about Girl’s hallucinations while she healed?” Solin asked with an edge to his rough voice.
I couldn’t catch a proper breath.
What would Solin do if he found out a man like me had tried to claim me for his own? Would he send out the hunters to track him?
“Girl met a stranger in the grass seas, Spirit Master,” Niya said, rising to her feet in an effortless glide. “He had no memories like her and was eager to keep her with him.” Glancing at the lynx, she added, “Syn attacked him, and he left. Isn’t that right, Girl?” Her dark gaze met mine, her eyebrow quirked.
I nodded and looked up at Solin, ignoring how he stood so proud and strong. He’d been so generous with me, so patient and kind. However, apart from sleeping in the same lupic, we didn’t spend a lot of time together. He was busy with clan affairs, and I did my best to be helpful with any tasks that needed doing, but now he watched me as if he’d gathered all my secrets and made them his own.
“Will you leave us, Niya and Hyath? I believe Tiptu requires some help with the feast.”
“Of course.” The two young women gave me a smile before brushing off their furs and vanishing out of the lupic. Syn stood from her spot in my lap, keeping her head low and contrite. She went to leave, but Solin bent and grabbed her around the jaw, peering at the redness staining her fangs. “So, Syn is the reason you’re still here and not with this strange man?” His quick assessment of the truth made my heart pound harder.
“Yes.”
“Is he badly hurt?”
“His arm is torn.”
“Did you bring him back to camp, or did he run like Niya said?”
“He ran.”
“Which direction?” He let Syn go, heading toward the water bowl. The lynx slipped out as Solin selected a cup, gathered some water, then drank his fill. Droplets dripped down his chest as his throat worked. After his second glass, he wiped his mouth and turned back to face me. “Which direction, Girl?”
Standing, I clasped my hands. “Toward the hills in the distance.”
“That is far.” Solin scratched his clean-shaven cheek. “Are you sure he went that way? It would be a very long journey.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I stayed silent. I didn’t know how long it would take or if the injured man could make such a trip.
Solin paced around the cold hearth, staring at the rocks ringing the ash and charred wood of last night’s flame. He cocked his head as if the fire still spoke to him, even while extinguished. He completed three circles before finally stopping and looking at me across the stones. “A full moon cycle you’ve lived in my home, yet you’re still nameless and clanless. Your memories are stubborn, and despite your desperation to know, you are afraid.”
He crossed his arms.
The air thickened with tension as he said, “I have permitted you to stay, not out of the goodness of my heart, Girl, but because the flames told me of your arrival the night before Niya found you. Just like they told me a stranger would appear and try to take you. A stranger that isn’t permitted to have you.”
I gasped. “W-Who is he? Do you know—?”
Solin ignored me, continuing, “The fire told me of a girl who has sunshine trapped in her eyes, emptiness coating her mind, and flames dancing in her blood. It told me that you are different. That there are things about you that have to be taught and treasured but others that have to be harnessed and feared. I’ve spent many a meeting with our chief and chiefess deciding on what to do with you.”
My knees wobbled as I tripped back a step. “What to do with me?” I glanced at the exit and the setting sun outside. I’d believed I was safe here, yet the way Solin looked at me made my instincts prickle to hide. “I don’t know what that means, Fire Reader.” I bowed my head in respect.
“Neither do I.” Solin clenched his jaw, watching me closely. “But the fact that a strange male tried to take you today—a male that the flames foresaw—means we need to find out, before it’s too late.”
Hugging myself, I said, “I wasn’t going to go with him. I fought. I told him I wished to stay with the Nhil people and how grateful I am for the home you’ve all given me.”
“Good.” He nodded fiercely. “We found you for a reason. The fire whispered of your arrival and guided Niya and the hunting party to find you. It wants you here, Girl, and it sees you are worth protecting if it showed me this stranger last night. A stranger that threatens your life amongst the Nhil.”
I swayed on the spot, trying to braid Solin’s warnings with how I’d felt in the strange man’s presence. Yes, I’d been afraid but also awestruck. I’d been wary but alive. And when he’d touched me…it wasn’t terror that made my skin spark but a connection that twined around my heart full of hope and pain.
Solin’s deep voice cut through my thoughts. “You’re the only one I’ve ever permitted to live with me. My space is guarded because my visions are needed to keep us safe. Yet I permit you to stay under my roof because I see something.”
When he didn’t continue, I asked quietly, “What do you see?”
His eyes locked on mine. “You are not like the others.”
“How?” I whispered, unable to hide my sadness. I didn’t want to be different. I wanted to be like Niya, Hyath, and the other incredible people of Nhil. “How am I not like them?”
“In the same way that I am not like them.” Solin stepped around the stones, keeping his black eyes locked on mine. “The same way the fire whispers to me. The same way the flames grant visions and knowledge.” His voice lowered with weight. “The same way they whisper to you.”
