Delphi collected works o.., p.293
Delphi Collected Works of Peter Cheyney Illustrated, page 293
‘And if I say no?’
Callaghan said: ‘If you say no. I’m going to advise the Globe & Associated to refuse payment of that claim. I’m going to suggest that there is information in your possession which should rightly be laid before the authorities.’
Vane thought for a moment; then he said:
‘Mr. Callaghan, I see nothing extraordinary in your request. In carrying it out I should be carrying out the wishes of my deceased client, and quite candidly, although I’d never before heard of this idea of his of stopping any benefit going, through Miss Gardell, to some other person, I’m prepared to take your word for it. I am prepared to hold this money in trust on my own responsibility as Executor of the Admiral, as and when it is paid, until such time as it is obvious that it may be handed over with — shall we say — complete safety.’
Callaghan said: ‘That’s fine.’
Vane said: ‘Of course there should be some sort of time limit. A lawyer can’t hold up the payment of money for ever, even if he is an Executor.’
Callaghan said: ‘You should worry. I’ll look after that. So long, Vane.’
He went out.
II.
Effie Thompson was pouring out tea when Callaghan walked into the office.
He said: ‘Where’s Nikolls?’
She said: ‘He’s with the head porter, Mr. Callaghan — Jarvis.’ She smiled. ‘The ex-Sergeant-Major.’
Callaghan asked: ‘What’s the joke?’
Effie said: ‘It seems that Mrs. Jarvis had to go and see a sick cousin the other night, and it was perhaps unfortunate that Jarvis saw her and Nikolls coming out of a cinema just about the time she would have been with the sick cousin. But I’ve no doubt Mr. Nikolls will talk his way out of it.’
Callaghan said: ‘Of course. He loves situations like that. He’ll make Jarvis feel so bad about it that he’ll probably ask Nikolls to take his wife out next time.’
She said: ‘Yes, it’s peculiar how rather uncouth and unattractive people like Mr. Nikolls get away with things.’
Callaghan said: ‘Uncouth possibly — unattractive no, Effie. You’ve got your psychology wrong.’
She said: ‘Probably Mr. Callaghan, but then I’ve never been particularly interested in psychology as regards sex.’
‘No?’ said Callaghan. ‘You ought to be really.’
She said: ‘May I ask why, Mr. Callaghan?’
‘Oh nothing,’ he answered. ‘But you might be more of a match for Nikolls if you were. Let me have some tea, Effie,’ he went on. ‘And when our plump Lothario comes back, tell him to come in and see me.’
He went into his office. Nikolls arrived ten minutes later. He was looking quite pleased with himself.
He said: ‘What’s cooking?’
Callaghan said: ‘I wish you’d keep your affairs of the heart away from this building. I understand there’s been a little trouble with Jarvis and his wife?’
An injured expression appeared on Nikolls’s face.
He said: ‘What the hell! It’s a funny thing, but every time a man has a decent motive about bringin’ a little pleasure into some hard-workin’ woman’s life, everybody gets it wrong.’
‘I know,’ said Callaghan. ‘It depends on what you mean by pleasure. Just lay off the head porter’s wife, will you, Windy?’
Nikolls grinned.
‘I’ve already fixed to do that,’ he said. He sat down, produced a packet of Lucky Strikes, lit one. ‘Have I gotta go to work?’ he said.
Callaghan nodded.
‘Don’t make any mistakes about this,’ he said. ‘You’ve got to play this carefully. There’s a butler at Chipley Grange by the name of Grant. He’s a nice old boy. I imagine he’s been with the family for a long time. He’s probably the soul of loyalty. I want you to go down to Chipley and pick him up,’ Callaghan went on. ‘He has to go out sometimes. I want you to find out from him exactly what happened so far as he knows at Chipley on the night the Admiral died. I want you to pay particular attention to any telephone calls that came through and who answered them.’
‘O.K.,’ said Nikolls. ‘When do I start in on this?’
‘Now,’ said Callaghan. ‘I want you back to-night or early to-morrow morning.’
‘I got it,’ said Nikolls.
He went out.
Callaghan threw his cigarette into the fireplace, put on his hat. As he went through the outer office, Effie Thompson said:
‘Do you know when you’ll be back?’
Callaghan said: ‘No. But if I’m not back by six, don’t wait. I don’t think anything’s likely to happen to-day.’
Effie smiled. She said:
‘I know! Its always on the days that you think nothing’s going to happen that something does happen.’
‘Meaning what?’ asked Callaghan.
‘Meaning that I’d better wait till you come back, or I hear from you,’ said Effie.
Callaghan had opened the door. He turned. He said:
‘That’s an idea. Has any one told you, Effie, that you’re a first-class secretary?’
She said: ‘Several people, but where does it get me?’
Callaghan looked at her.
‘Where do you want to get, Effie?’ he asked.
She said: ‘Mr. Callaghan, you ask the most ridiculous questions.’ She began to work her typewriter.
III.
Gringall was sitting at his desk, smoking his short briar pipe, when Callaghan was shown in. He said:
‘Hallo, Slim. How are you?’
‘Not too bad,’ said Callaghan. ‘All the better for seeing you.’
Gringall said: ‘I’m glad you feel that way.’ He picked up a pencil, began to draw a lemon on the blotter.
Callaghan said dramatically: ‘Oh, hell... !’
Gringall looked up.
‘Why that?’ he asked.
Callaghan said: ‘Whenever I come into this office and you begin to draw fruit on the blotter, I always know that means trouble for somebody.’
Gringall put the pencil down. He smiled. He said:
‘Who are you expecting trouble for — you?’
‘Oh no,’ said Callaghan. ‘Nobody can make any trouble for me... well, not yet.’
Gringall said: ‘Well see. You never know your luck. What did you want to see me about, Slim?’
Callaghan said: ‘It’s about this Gardell claim. I think it’s all right.’
Gringall raised his eyebrows.
He said: ‘Is that what you came in to tell me?’
Callaghan said: ‘Yes and no. The fact that I do tell you that, asks a question, doesn’t it?’
Gringall said: ‘You mean as to whether I think you’re justified in reporting to the Globe & Associated that it’s all right for them to go ahead and pass the claim?’
Callaghan said: ‘Will you give me any reason why the Globe & Associated shouldn’t pass the claim?’
Gringall grinned. He picked up the pencil again.
He said: ‘So that’s what you really came to see me about?’
Callaghan said: ‘Well, what’s the answer?’
Gringall leaned back in his chair. He relit his pipe.
He said: ‘What do you care? If you honestly and sincerely believe that you’re justified in telling the Globe & Associated to go on and pay that claim, why worry about us?’
Callaghan said: ‘Why don’t you have a heart, Gringall? You’ve asked for the inquest to be adjourned for fourteen days so that Maynes, who’s handling this case, could get busy. Very naturally,’ he went on, ‘I don’t want to make a fool of myself.’
Gringall said caustically: ‘Is that possible?’
Callaghan said: ‘Very easily. I’ve checked on all the angles on this Gardell claim, and I can’t see any reason why it shouldn’t be paid, but I haven’t got the facilities that the police have; I haven’t got all the majesty and power of the law behind me.’
Gringall whistled.
‘I like that,’ he said. ‘Surely you don’t think we’ve got any advantages on a case like this that you haven’t. We can bribe and corrupt people, draw red herrings all over the place, make false statements, suborn witnesses like—’
‘Like who?’ Callaghan asked blandly.
‘Some private investigators we know,’ said Gringall. He put his pipe down on the desk. ‘Anyhow,’ he went on, ‘as, in this particular case, Messrs. Callaghan Investigations seem to have behaved themselves — at least up to the moment — fairly well, I don’t mind telling you what I know. I don’t think it’ll affect your report to the Globe & Associated one way or another. It’s just interesting, that’s all.’
Callaghan sat down. He lit a cigarette. He said:
‘If it interests you, it’s good enough for me. What is it, Gringall?’
Gringall said: ‘That Insurance policy of the Admiral’s was a rather interesting piece of business. The policy has only been in existence for a couple of years, and, having regard to the Admiral’s age, and the state of his health, the premiums were heavy.’
Callaghan nodded.
‘I know all that,’ he said.
‘The interesting question was,’ said Gringall, ‘Why he should suddenly decide to take out that policy. Do you know the answer?’
Callaghan said: ‘No. That isn’t part of my business.’
‘I agree it isn’t,’ said Gringall. ‘But nevertheless its interesting.’ He began to refill his pipe. ‘It seems,’ he went on, ‘That the Admiral was a gambler. As far as I can see he’d gambled most of his capital away. It seems that the old boy couldn’t keep away from any sort of card game. Practically every roulette party in the West End knew Admiral Gardell — the big ones, I mean. He must have lost thousands during the past ten years.’
Callaghan nodded.
‘All right,’ he said. ‘So what?’
Gringall said: ‘About two years ago, Gardell lost about thirty thousand pounds in one night playing chemie and roulette. It seems he’d got in pretty bad at the beginning of the game, doubled his stakes, kept on doubling them, and kept on losing. Eventually he cut his main creditor double or quits and lost.’
‘Nice going,’ said Callaghan.
Gringall nodded.
‘The devil of it was,’ he continued, ‘The Admiral couldn’t pay. He couldn’t pay without cleaning out the Gardell estate, and he didn’t want to do that. Apparently he was decent enough to want to leave something to his daughter.’
‘I see,’ said Callaghan. ‘So what did he do?’
‘He managed to scrape up ten thousand,’ said Gringall, ‘which he paid over on account of his losses, and arranged to settle the balance as soon as he could. But he just couldn’t raise the money. Then, apparently, he evolved a scheme which would enable him to satisfy his conscience and eventually satisfy this debt of honour. He took out that policy with the Globe & Associated for forty-five thousand pounds. The money, as you know, will go to the daughter. Then he gave a formal note, certified by his solicitor, Vane, in which he instructed his daughter, Miss Desirée Gardell, to pay over the balance of twenty thousand pounds due on the gaming debt as and when she received the forty-five thousand pounds from the Insurance Company.’
Callaghan said: ‘But—’
Gringall interrupted: ‘I know... I know if it was a gaming debt it would be illegal. But the Admiral looked after that point in the note. It said, “in consideration of services rendered.”‘
Callaghan said: ‘Where did you get this from — Vane?’
Gringall nodded. ‘He told Maynes the whole story.’
‘Pretty good,’ said Callaghan. He paused for a moment; then casually: ‘Had he got anything else of interest to tell him?’
‘That was all,’ said Gringall. He began to draw a watermelon. ‘So if your idea about the Admiral thinking he was committing suicide before the two years stipulated in the policy were up is right, it might look rather as though he was trying to stop somebody getting that twenty thousand pounds.’
Callaghan said: ‘Yes. So it seems.’ He stubbed out his cigarette, opened his cigarette-case, took out a fresh one. He took a long time about lighting it; then he said:
‘Did Vane say who the individual holding the note was?’
Gringall said: ‘He didn’t know. The wording of the note concealed the identity of the individual who would benefit. It talked about “the bearer of his note.”‘
‘Quite,’ said Callaghan. ‘That’s why the Admiral took the trouble to get Vane to certify. Vane would recognise his own certificate and handwriting.’
Gringall nodded.
‘That’s all Maynes has got up to date,’ he said. ‘It’s interesting, but it doesn’t seem to affect the case very much.’
‘You mean — ?’ asked Callaghan.
Gringall said: ‘I mean that we haven’t altered our opinion that the Admiral was murdered.’ He smiled at Callaghan. ‘That doesn’t affect any report that you, in your discretion, may care to make to the Insurance Company.’
Callaghan said: ‘You’re playing funny devils with me, aren’t you, Gringall? Are you trying to give me a tip-off?’
Gringall sighed. He said:
‘It’s not my business to give you tip-offs, but I’d like to remind you of one or two things in that hectic career of yours. You remember that Vendayne business? Well, you were right about that. But you didn’t know you were going to be right. You just did what you did because you fell like a ton of bricks for that Audrey Vendayne.’ He grinned. ‘Not that I blame you... Then there was that Riverton case — the same sort of story.’
Callaghan said: ‘Why don’t you say what you mean?’
Gringall said: ‘I’ve heard that Desirée Gardell is an extremely beautiful young woman.’
Callaghan said: ‘I’ve got it. So you think I’m fool enough to tell the Globe & Associated to pass that claim for payment just because Desirée Gardell is a beautiful young woman. Let me tell you something. She hates my guts.’
Gringall said: ‘Well, that’s a nice change!’ He went on: ‘I’m only telling you what I know, but if you think the job’s all right, put your report in.’
Callaghan said: ‘Listen. The trouble with you is that you’re not half so clever as you think. Either that or you’re not half such a damn’ fool as you look.’
Gringall bowed. He said: ‘Thank you for nothing.’
Callaghan went on: ‘Will you do something for me?’
Gringall sighed.
‘I knew it was coming,’ he said. ‘Well, what is it? But understand this. Maynes has already told me he’ll be very tough with you if there’s anything that looks like obstruction.’
Callaghan smiled: ‘You tell Maynes to teach his grandmother how to suck eggs. That one hasn’t got enough brains to come in out of the rain.’
Gringall said: ‘I wouldn’t tell him that if I were you. He thinks he’s rather good. Well, what is it you want, Slim?’
Callaghan said: ‘I want you to sit on Maynes’s head for a bit. The fact that I’m reporting to the Globe & Associated that they can pass that claim means just nothing at all.’
‘Nice work,’ said Gringall. ‘So you’re playing hooky with your own clients now. It’s wonderful what depth you private detectives will sink to. What is the big idea?’
Callaghan said: ‘You mind your own business. I don’t have to divulge my brilliant and scintillating methods to a lot of flatfeet. I’m reporting to the Globe & Associated that the claim’s all right for passing for payment. Well, it’s going to be some time before they pay it, isn’t it? There are the usual formalities, and then, when they’re through, the money will go to Vane, the executor.’
Gringall nodded.
‘That’s right,’ he said.
‘I’ve got an arrangement with Vane,’ said Callaghan. ‘He’s not going to part with that money or any part of it until I give him the O.K. Understand?’
‘I understand,’ said Gringall. ‘And that means that if later you were to find the claim wasn’t quite in order, the money would still be available for return to the Globe & Associated?’
‘That’s right,’ said Callaghan.
Gringall said: ‘Well, that’s very interesting.’
Callaghan said: ‘You tell me something. Are you going to tell Maynes to lay off for another week or so?’
Gringall said: ‘There’s no reason to do that. Maynes — who, in my opinion, is a most efficient officer — is doing his damnedest, but his damnedest can’t be very much.’ He laid down his pencil. He went on: ‘This is a damned funny murder. I’ve never known a murder with less motive or less evidence.’
Callaghan raised one eyebrow.
‘Less motive?’ he said. ‘I can see the hell of a motive.’
‘Such as?’ queried Gringall.
‘What about the boyo who’s going to get the twenty thousand pounds?’ said Callaghan. ‘Supposing that boyo wasn’t quite certain about the date on the Insurance policy. Supposing he thought that the Admiral was going to kill himself in order to prevent that policy being paid. He might get annoyed, mightn’t he?’
Gringall said: ‘That’s what I thought.’
Callaghan got up. He said:
‘Well, thank you for nothing, Gringall. I’ll be on my way.’
Gringall said: ‘Do. I’ve got work to do. And thank you for nothing.’
At the door, Callaghan said: ‘The trouble with you is, you don’t realise the terrific amount of assistance you get from private individuals like myself.’
Gringall said: ‘No. And the trouble with you is that you don’t know how lucky you are not to be in Portland with about seven years to go.’
Callaghan said amiably: ‘All right. Nuts to you.’
Gringall took up his pencil.
‘And to you,’ he said as pleasantly.
He began to draw a pineapple.
IV.
The Chinese clock on Callaghan’s mantelpiece struck ten. Callaghan, who was pouring himself a whisky and soda, paused as he heard the key in the door of his apartment. Nikolls came in.
He said: ‘I could do with one of them, Slim.’
Callaghan said: ‘Help yourself.’ He sat down in the armchair. He said: ‘Well?’
Nikolls finished the whisky. He sighed; poured out another. He said:
‘It looks to me like all this stuff about the Admiral’s having called through to Chipley is a lot of hooey. I reckon Vane musta been dreamin’.’
