Darkest power, p.15
Darkest Power, page 15
“I missed the darkness of your forest.”
Her eyes brighten, flashing orange. She’s beautiful. She seems free now, her smile wide and innocent.
I lean in to kiss her again, but she pulls back and jumps to her feet. Her eyes are teasing, sly. She shoves her shorts to the ground kicking them away before peeling off the rest of her clothes and facing me.
She’s perfect.
Her stomach is silky and curved, her hips are made for my hands, and every inch of her reminds me of how soft her skin has always been.
“Come here,” I command.
“I will.” Her eyes are nervous before she puts her hands over her head and does a small twirl. “But first, you get your dance.”
My jaw hangs open. I don’t want to tell her she can’t do a fox mating dance without tails, but apparently, it doesn’t matter because the minute she starts moving her hips back and forth, my mouth goes dry.
Her eyes close, and she runs her hands down her body while I slowly make my way over to where she’s dancing.
I grip her by one of her wrists and spin her face forward against the closest tree and pin her there. “Mine.”
She arches her back against me, I protect her with my body. The feel of the sky watching this only pushes me past the edge of control. She lets out a soft cry when I flip her back around and meet her mouth with a possessive kiss. I can almost imagine her tails, soft against my legs, my cheek, only to disappear and reveal herself to me as if saying take me, I’m yours, I’m terrified, but let me reveal myself to you, without the guise of magic, without anything but myself.
Bare.
Just like she is now.
Foxes never allow their tails, their shields of magic, to leave their bodies until they let someone in. And even though she no longer has tails to move. I feel it mentally, spiritually. She’s open to me.
Mine.
Her tongue is hot and wet, aggressively massaging mine in a way that feels like an urgent caress I can’t wait to answer. I grab one of her legs and wrap it around me like she’s a dancer and I’m her pole. I groan as the heat between her open legs rubs a moist path along my hip until she is snugged against my waist. My cock twitches, desperately wanting more, needing it in a way that feels so holy I have a hard time breathing. I realize I’m afraid… this moment terrifies me. I don’t want to scare her, but I wonder if I maybe need her more than she needs me. I’ve needed this for thousands of years, looked forward to it, and she seems so open I don’t want to let her down. I’m afraid. I’m so afraid that I’m going to be too much for her, that something bad might happen afterward. What if sleeping with a god is her demise? She doesn’t even have her tails anymore.
I sigh against her mouth.
She shoves my chest. “Take me, stupid god.”
“Okay, dumb fox.” I laugh. I have no other choice but to give in to this beautiful woman, this human, fox without her tails, this person who I’ve known across lifetimes, one I abandoned without realizing the ramifications.
Her smile’s sad as she reaches for me, her fingers twist into my hair, wrapping it around her fingertips. “You’re so easy to love.”
“I’m not.”
She twists harder and pulls my face into hers. Our lips collide. “You are. You’re easy to love because you are good.”
“Because I’m light?”
“Because you protected a stupid fox after she saved you and because when she was the most lonely in the world—you asked her what she saw.”
Tears burn the back of my eyes. “And what did you see?”
“Stars. So many stars. You pointed to the sky and said that my parents were shining, and then my own darkness just felt less. I felt less, in the best way, because you were my light.”
“I never deserved to be that.” I choke out. “I wanted you. I was selfish.”
“Then take me, selfish god of the sky.” She releases my hair suddenly and spreads her arms wide, laying on her back. “Take me the way I wanted you to, under the stars. Let them hear me scream for you.”
I love her bravery. I lean over and whisper, “Are you sure you want that, little fox?”
“Are you sure you can take me?”
We’re both panting. She’s pressed so hard against me I can feel every heated part of her waiting for me to make a choice I can’t unmake. Seduce the fox and live. Walk away and be miserable.
“You were made for this.” I take her mouth, capturing her lips in a punishing kiss, her hands are suddenly back at my hair, pulling it like it’s hers, not mine, and I realize she has a fixation with it.
Because to her, my hair is fur.
And with foxes, you groom their fur when you mate. So as she twists her hands into my hair, tugging it and wrapping it around her fingers, meeting my lips with each painful tug. I realize it was always supposed to be like this. With each punishing kiss from her mouth, each slick of her tongue down my neck. It was supposed to be painful. Joining with her, knowing she owns me as much as I own her. Knowing our pasts. Aligning our futures.
We will not be able to undo this.
I would never want to.
I almost collapse against her when she shoves her legs against the tree and pulls me back, flipping me midair onto the ground.
I laugh. “Playful.”
“For being such an old god, you have good reflexes.”
I shove her against the ground, rising up over her. My body flexes and stretches over her. I could enter her. I could end this so easily; I could make her mine, instead, I just watch.
Is that not the purpose of stars? Gods? Angels?
I smile down at her. “How pretty.”
“What?”
“Your face,” I whisper seconds later. “Before,” I inch forward between her thighs. “I make you mine before I truly watch.”
“Me?”
“Oh yes.” I press my body down onto hers and thrust between her thighs. Kit’s eyes widen, her hands fall back from my hair, then grip my shoulders. “And now I truly watch Heaven. The crown of creation.” My lips meet hers. “My mate.”
She gasps beneath me, her eyes roll back into her head only to come back full of bright white stars that erupt around us.
I see constellations.
Her.
Us.
She grasps me close. My hips take on a different rhythm, the rhythm of the heavens, as I slowly show her what I feel, what I felt then, what I feel now.
Her little gasps against my mouth make it worth it. “I see everything.”
“I see you.”
“The stars.” She nibbles my lower lips and moans. “It feels so good, having all of you, and yet knowing the sky watches.”
“It sees everything.”
“And yet, all I see is you,” she responds as he rakes her nails down my arms and pulls me closer.
I’m deep into the cosmos, into her, my body taking over, and my soul is finally silent.
It’s home.
She pulls me close, tight, almost too tight; deeper and deeper, we fall and explore until I don’t know how to stop the collision of our bodies.
And like a supernova.
We explode together.
And I swear in that moment, with her body pulsing beneath me and all around me, I see the stars I used to create, I feel them.
I just wish I knew if it was a good omen.
Or if we just damned ourselves again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
人生において 最も大切な時 それはいつでも いまです
Jinsei ni oite mottomo taisetsu na toki sore wa itsu demo ima desu
The most important time in life is always the present.
~ Mitsuo Aida, Japanese poet and calligrapher
Kit
I didn’t expect this. I had no clue it would feel this good, that he would feel this good, or that it would be this right.
My tongue tastes of the sky, and I have no way to describe it other than it’s something so sweet, like tasting chocolate before it goes bitter, then feeling it sink into you, motionless as you rest in its flavor.
He’s Horus… I shouldn’t be surprised. But he’s also a god, and I realize I’ve mostly forgotten this as I lay naked against his chest.
Horus licks up my neck as if he knows that foxes love to be licked and comforted, and then he pulls me tighter against him. “You’ll see; it’s all going to be okay.”
I’m with him.
I’m now half of him. Of course, it’s going to be okay. How could it not be? I cuddle next to him and finally allow myself to let go and sleep.
I don’t know if it’s hours later or minutes, but I wake up to voices. I think it’s Horus and maybe Timber? I have no clue, but I go downstairs to grab some water and smile to myself at the fact that all the immortals argue as if they’ve been living together since the dawn of time.
They’re truly a family.
And I love them even more for it.
Because I finally have a family of my own in them.
I feel it inside my chest, ready to burst free. I have a place to belong. Maybe the forest wasn’t my home after all, maybe it too was a test, and now I get to be free with a werewolf I would have tried to kill or run from, a vampire who breathes terror, fallen ones, sirens, gods.
I smile even harder. I knew this world existed, but it was never a part of mine, and now that it finally is, I find I’m not afraid of the moon anymore. I’m not afraid of anything except for losing the one I’ve been waiting for.
Him.
I tiptoe over to the sink and reach up to grab a glass. My hand hesitates when I hear Timber.
“You know…”
I believe it’s Horus who sighs. “No, I don’t know, what?”
“You could take it.”
“Take what?”
“Her bead,” Timber says simply. “Your power would be restored completely in this timeline. You’d be close to as powerful as Cassius, could probably save a lot of people, help the balance between the immortals and the humans.”
Horus is quiet. Why isn’t he saying anything? Finally, he speaks after what feels like an eternity. “I’m here to help her know who she is, not to take the one last thing that gives her immortality and her power. She’s without her tails. She can’t be without both. It would turn her into a human, and we have no idea how long she would have.”
“She could give it willingly.” Timber suggests. “Save the masses, kill the few.”
“What’s wrong with you?” Horus shouts. “I actually care for her!”
“It’s one tiny fox, Horus.”
“Don’t make me regret saving you.”
Timber laughs. “Sometimes it’s too easy, brother, relax. All I’m saying is—” I don’t hear the rest of what he does say. I’m too pissed off. I trusted Timber, but of course, that was a stupid move. I really am a stupid fox. How can you trust the god of the underworld in the first place?
Livid, I stomp up the stairs and slam the door to the room I was just in, sitting on the mattress stewing, ready to punch a god in the face.
Of course, my fox bead would give him power. Isn’t that why it’s forbidden for a god to seduce a fox now? It would give them too much access to what I have, the purity of the earth and the sky.
I’m a fox of darkness, after all, of night. If I gave the god of the skies my bead, he’d have both.
I gasp awake.
“Wha…?”
Had I been having a nightmare that entire time?
Horus is leaning over me, concern etched in his bright blue eyes. I could almost imagine he looks like my very own star, watching over me, keeping me safe. “I thought you no longer had nightmares in the presence of a god?”
I touch my mouth with my fingertips. “Did we just kiss, or was I dreaming?”
His eyes are full of mischief; they flicker like Christmas lights. “Yes. I leaned down and kissed you gently… I hope you don’t mind I—”
“It’s a full moon.” I interrupt, probably rudely. “Right? It’s still a full moon?”
“I think so.” He frowns and looks out the window. “It appears we’re on our last night of it. You have no reason to be afraid anymore.” His frown deepens. “You look really pale. Do you need water or—” His eyes roll to the back of his head, but he regains focus and presses his palms against his temples. “Sorry, I think I’m just tired.”
“Gods get tired?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood.
“Apparently, now they do.” He leans down next to me and pulls me against his chest. Why does it feel like things are about to get more difficult? “At least I’m here.”
I’m afraid to ask, but I do anyway. “And if I close my eyes when I open them… you’ll still be here. You won’t leave me?”
Horus scoffs and waves me away with a hand that suddenly falls against the down comforter like he’s so exhausted he can barely keep it up. “Where else would I go?”
“The sky.” I point up to the ceiling. My breath feels heavy, and my body the same. Something is happening, but I don’t know what it is. I just breathe in and out and stare up as if I can see the stars through the ceiling. “Am I yours, Horus?” I ask, my voice somehow sounding small to my ears.
“Yes.”
“Is what’s mine also yours?”
He frowns and leans down on the bed, making it sag toward him. I roll into his massive chest and reach for his neck, my fingers grasping his white-blond hair. He’s so beautiful, still glowing a bit from our time together. “What’s mine is yours, what’s yours is mine. You asked me long ago to make it happen, and we did. I want to spend forever with you.”
“And you would never betray me?”
His frown is so sincere I feel bad asking. He jerks back, but I hold him close, making him stay against me.
“Why would you ask that?”
“I heard you,” I whisper. “Downstairs.”
He shakes his head. “My brother’s going to get his ass beat. I have no idea what he was talking about, but either way, I’m guessing you didn’t hear everything he said since you left angry.”
So he knew I was there.
“All he said,” Horus continues, “was that I need to tell you one thing.” His eyes flash white.
Tears burn the back of my throat. “What’s that?”
His eyes falter, going from white to black and then back again. He covers his left eye where the tattoo is but no eye remains, and clenches his teeth. “No, no, no, no!”
“Horus?”
“Help.” His body trembles. “Cover my mouth. COVER IT!”
I clap both hands over it, but he shoves me away easily, collapsing backward onto the floor. Thunder booms in the distance like a bad omen from the heavens themselves. He suddenly stands and walks over to me. His eyes don’t reflect the sky anymore—they reflect my darkness. “Give it to me, give me what I’m owed, fox of the night.”
“Never.” I kick at his chest.
He grips me by the ankle and jerks me down the bed. I can tell he has no clue what’s going on. His one eye is black. Someone else is seeing through it, using his power to see through the remaining eye.
I need to fight him at all costs.
He’s not himself.
And yet he rips every piece of clothing from me and shoves me against the bed. “Mine, my star, you’re mine, fight it, fight us!”
I can’t though. I can’t fight what we are to each other as his kisses become power-hungry against my neck, only to have him inch by inch bite down my skin.
“Horus,” I whimper. “It’s good, but it’s wrong, what are you doing?”
He jerks away, his head shakes, and then he’s jumping away from me, slamming back against the wall like I’ve stunned him stupid.
Was that even Timber downstairs?
“HELP!” I scream. “Someone help us!”
Horus gets to his feet. His chuckle is dark and sinister; it’s not what I’m used to… all the warmth in him has been sucked away from the room. “You should be more careful what you give to people, and so should he…”
His mouth bruises mine, again and again, holding me captive, pinning me against the bed with fervor like he loves me, but this isn’t him—this is a god possessed. “Give me what I’m owed, fox of darkness, and part those pretty little lips.”
A choking sensation washes over me. I can’t speak. I can only cough over and over again. It burns from my toes all the way up to my neck. Grasping for Horus, I wait for him to save me. For my old Horus to come back to fight whatever monster that’s using him.
But he doesn’t.
His one eye is blank with nothingness.
The other is missing. Even his tattoos pulse on his left cheek like he’s trying to break free, but what can a limited god do against someone using my bead along with my tails, using any sort of power against him?
“Apophis,” I whisper.
Another laugh escapes his lips. “Smart girl, now open up.”
I kick him in the legs, but I’m not strong enough. His body crashes onto mine, his lips take hold, biting down into me, leaving tiny marks of blood. I taste its tang as it runs down my throat when he says. “Open.”
I can’t keep it down.
My bead floats softly to my tongue and rests there. In any other circumstance, I would love his kiss right now, the way his tongue massages mine, but I know it’s only to bring the bead closer, so he keeps massaging, keeps sucking on the blood from my lips.
The only way to bring a bead out is through a kiss, but blood always has to be spilled. Mine.
He sucks my lips dry until they feel swollen. Green and yellow light erupts from my mouth.
My bead. What makes me immortal, powerful, special—has just been torn from my body by the very man I love.
He has betrayed me twice.
Once on purpose.
The second by idiocy, because in giving his eye, there will always be someone who can see through the other.
Idiots.
All of us.
I fall back against the mattress and start to shake. My body is no longer immortal. My power is gone. I’m nothing but a human shell with scars that used to show my glory.
And the person who took it all from me was the one I waited for and trusted the most in the world.
