Eagle elite volume ii, p.89
Eagle Elite Volume II, page 89
And I knew that I was a liar.
I would take the pieces.
I would search for them.
I would keep them close.
I would mend them back together.
I would cut myself on them when he hurt me.
And the process of scattering them would repeat.
Only for me to collect the pieces all over again and continue the torturous cycle of being Sergio Abandonato’s wife—of being second.
Muscles bulged as he reared back, his eyes wild, like every ounce of control he’d held onto was slipping.
“Please,” I whispered.
I needed him, all of him, just this once. I lied again, because I’d always want all of him.
“Yes,” he hissed, punishing me with a harsh kiss only to thrust deeper, harder, until I thought I was going to pass out from the intensity of the feeling.
I clenched around him, holding on for dear life as my body collapsed against his, completely worn out, the tension in his shoulders released, still connected he kissed me tenderly and whispered, “I vow to never make love to you…”
My breath caught as anxiety built up.
“Where I made love to her.”
I sagged in relief.
“Val.” He kissed me again and again. “You aren’t her. I don’t want you to be her. I want you to be you. Just like I want us to have a chance to start with something good, something new. She would expect your anger, in fact, I’m sure she probably planned for it. Allow yourself to grieve, allow yourself to be angry, but don’t hold back from me out of fear.”
“I’m afraid I won’t be enough for you.”
“Want to know what I’m afraid of?” His eyes closed and then opened again, glassy. “Losing someone else. I can’t do it again, Val. I can’t—” He shook his head. “You get one chance. If you leave now, I’ll let you. I won’t chase you. I swear it. But if you stay in my bed tonight, you are mine. Wherever you go, I’ll find you, no matter what you say to push me away; I’m going to push right back. I don’t care if living with me is a version of your own personal hell. I want you. Here. Because I care. Because I see myself falling faster than I should. Because when I hold your hand, the world goes from gray to color. Because when I kiss you, I forget all about the pain of loss and remember the joy in being found.” He kissed my lips softly. “Because when I’m with you…I don’t want to be anywhere else. And that’s my confession, my truth. This, here, you, us, is what I want. No do-overs. No should haves, would haves, no if onlys. Just. Here. Now.”
“I want that too,” I said in a shaky voice. “I want us.”
“About damn time you start making sense, Val.” His smile was back. “Now, get in my bed.”
I must not have moved fast enough, because the minute he pulled away from me he was grabbing my arm and dragging me back toward the bedroom.
“Put on clothes and you’ll be punished,” he said in his threatening voice. “I’ll be back in five minutes.”
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Here come the lovers, full of joy and mirth—Joy gentle friends! Joy and fresh days of love! Accompany your hearts! —A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Sergio
I stared at the empty kitchen for a few minutes before grabbing two glasses of water and a few snacks.
Memories of Andi flooded my consciousness, but it wasn’t sadness I felt, it was peace.
Finally.
I felt at peace.
Like her ghost was no longer following me around yelling at the top of its lungs for me to get my head out of my ass. I smiled as I remembered the dinner table where she used to bother the hell out of me. It was also the same table she had collapsed against when she almost passed out.
I made my way into the entryway and the sitting room, the table where I’d ripped off her clothes with my knife.
Where she was nearly killed.
I did a slow circle around the room and smiled to myself.
“Thank you,” I whispered to both nothing and everything. Andi’s death didn’t just teach me how to love. She’d taught me how to live, how to survive through the darkness, how to make it to the other side and not feel horror at my broken state but celebrate the victory of making it out alive in the first place.
Without Andi, I don’t think I would have ever fully appreciated Val. Andi helped me become a better person for Val. Had it been Val first, I would have ripped her to shreds, terrified the shit out of her, and most likely ended up getting shot by one of my Family members. Andi had been able to handle me when I was my cranky bitter self.
And Val had come along when I needed healing, when I needed to talk, when I needed a friend.
I’d had both.
And like a self-proclaiming prophecy, Andi’s words came back to me.
She’d said she loved me, but that I’d find someone who would set my world on fire, someone who would be more than my friend, more than my lover, she would be my other half.
My soul mate.
I thought it had been Andi.
But, as I started making my way up the stairs, I wondered, if I had it wrong all along.
Andi had been my best friend.
My partner.
My first real love.
The first person in my life who loved me back, who saw me as loveable, who reached past the darkness and flipped on the light.
And Val.
Val was …
I paused.
I had no words for Val.
No way to explain to another human being how deeply she’d uprooted every single vulnerability I’d ever had and planted herself in its place.
I saw her coming.
I studied her.
I still wasn’t prepared.
Val wasn’t Andi.
And I didn’t want her to be.
I was thankful, that as I took that last step into my bedroom, it was Val waiting for me, Val shaking with nervousness even though I’d already seen every inch of her naked body twice by now.
Val, blushing from her rosy flushed cheeks all the way down to her toes.
Val, smiling like she saw me, marks and all, and embraced them.
Val, who, in a complete act of selflessness, didn’t ask me to push Andi away, but simply asked if I could make room for one more.
“I lied,” Val admitted once I walked back into the room with our glasses of water.
I set them on the table and joined her on the bed, pulling her into my arms. “About what?”
“Well, I mean, at the time I made a promise, but I’m going back on it.”
“What promise?”
“Not to kiss you.”
“You broke that a while ago.”
“Right.” She sighed, pressing her palm to my chest. “But you also said that you didn’t want my love, that you wouldn’t do it again, you told me not to fall for you, you warned me.” Another big sigh. “And I fell anyway.”
“I know.”
Val smirked. “Well that was arrogant.”
I kissed her forehead. “I know, because I feel the same way.”
“Please don’t.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Don’t say it unless you mean it.”
“Okay.” I nodded. “I don’t love you.”
Her eyes widened.
“I’ve known you less than a month.”
“True.”
“I will.”
“What?”
“I will love you,” I whispered against her lips. “Because I’m halfway there and I found out your favorite color a day ago.”
“And I know yours,” she whispered. “Brown.”
“The exact color of your eyes. A Valentina brown.”
Her breath hitched as she kissed my mouth softly. “I want to show you something.”
She quickly jumped out of bed. I would be an idiot not to watch as she charged out of the room, still naked, and then came right back in with a stack of paper.
“Here.” She thrust them in my face. “These, were from Andi.”
I started with the first letter.
And burst out laughing.
“Is she comparing me to the beast in Beauty and the Beast?”
“Yeah.” Val smiled. “Though I didn’t know she was talking about you at first…”
We talked about each letter late into the night, until I finally found the last one and frowned. “You didn’t open it?”
Val snatched the letter and turned it over. “I swear this wasn’t in my pile the other day.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive.” Val stared at it like it was going to eat her.
“Open it.”
“But”—she sighed—“what if it ruins what we have and…”
“Val.” I kissed her soundly across the mouth. “Open the damn letter.”
“Okay.” She ripped it open as I peered over her shoulder.
Make sure he performs one of those numbers, you know which one, at least seven times a week.
Give him hell.
Find the one imperfection, left ear, you’re welcome!
Love him well.
Love her well, Italy.
In a way, you guys are more perfect for each other than we ever were, and if I know Sergio the way I think I do, I’m going to assume he’s already drawn that same conclusion. Best friends to lovers and now, Sergio, you have your soul mate, the one you’re inexplicably drawn to.
The one you would die for.
Silly boy, you were never meant to be with me in the first place.
It’s me who should feel guilty, not you guys.
Enjoy this life you have been given.
And, Sergio, for the love of God, take the woman on a honeymoon!
All my love, to my two best friends, my two favorite people…
Andi
Val didn’t cry.
I didn’t cry.
We both smiled at the letter and then burst out laughing.
“You know.” Val crossed her arms. “I’ve never been out of the country.”
“I think I’ll have to fix that.”
“I think you should.”
“You think Dante would house sit?”
“I think if you want your house to be still standing you’ll have someone else babysit him while he house sits, but yes.”
“Next week.” I shoved the letters onto the floor and pressed her back against the mattress. “We leave next week.”
“What about all the drama and hiding out and—”
“I’ll bring my gun.”
She smirked as she looked down.
“Both of them.”
“Oh good, I was worried.”
“I could tell by your laughter.”
She wrapped her legs around me and kissed down my neck. “I’m ready for more seduction.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” She nodded. “But this time, can I—” Her hands got all fidgety as she blushed and then covered her face with her hands.
“You’re too innocent for your own good. You’re going to end up killing me, aren’t you?” I groaned as she reached for me and started exploring, slowly, so slow that I was ready to scream.
“Yes, but, I’m a fast learner.”
“Yes.” I jerked up off the bed. “Yes, you are.”
“Sergio?”
“This is my punishment, isn’t it?” I groaned aloud. “I asked you to talk to me and now you won’t stop. Meanwhile, I’m ready to explode and—”
“For an older man you’re kind of hot.”
“I’m not old!” I yelled, completely offended. “I’m barely ten years older than you.”
“Old.” She licked her lips and then me.
And I forgot all about her teasing as I was reminded yet again, how perfect she was, how right it felt, to be in her arms.
EPILOGUE
Love is love. There is no explanation, no reason, no path. It is what it is, and as it should be. —Valentina
Sergio
Five months later
“Holy shit!” Nixon roared as he ran down the hall nearly tripping over his own feet in an effort to grab me. “Sergio! Upstairs NOW!”
Val pulled away from me and winked while her fingers grazed my ass. I let out a pitiful groan and tugged her into the corner, capturing her lips, I couldn’t get enough, I would never get enough. I loved her more now than I ever thought possible.
“Sergio!” Nixon roared.
“In a minute!” I yelled back.
“She’s in LABOR YOU JACKASS!”
“WHAT?” I jerked back from Val and took the stairs two at a time. “Where is she?”
“Her water broke and then she said she felt like she needed to push! I don’t know what the hell to do!” Nixon’s eyes were crazed as yelling commenced downstairs.
Soon Tex, Chase, and Phoenix were all in the room with me while Trace braced herself against the bedpost and screamed.
“I think I’m going to pass out,” Tex whispered to Chase. I could have sworn he was leaning heavily on him before Mil marched into the room with Frank and announced that someone was going to have to deliver the baby.
“Hurts so bad!” Trace said through clenched teeth and then turned her face in Nixon’s direction. “YOU!”
“Oh, hell.” Chase stumbled backward while Tex held up his hands in surrender.
Phoenix yawned. Then again, he’d already been through the whole process with Bee and was one of the best dads I’d ever seen—he actually hummed songs when he changed the little dude’s diapers.
“You’re on your own man,” Tex mumbled as they ran out of the room.
Frank mumbled something to Phoenix then pulled out his phone; I hoped to call the medics, because I sure as hell wasn’t a doctor.
“Sweetheart,” Nixon said calmly. “This is a completely normal reaction to—”
She threw a shoe at his head then started pacing.
Nixon, poor man, went a shade paler. Aw hell, looked like I’d have to step up after all, or at least offer to keep the guy from fainting like a girl.
“Nixon.” I shook my head at him and made my way over to Trace. I’d never finished medical school but I was pretty confident I could deliver her baby if the ambulance didn’t make it on time.
“I feel like I need to push. I feel…” Trace’s exhaled. “Pressure, so much pressure, and if I hold back it hurts.” Tears streamed down her face.
I looked to Nixon for a decision.
After all, he was about to be a father.
And for the first time in my life, I saw fear in my cousins eyes.
Because he would kill for this woman, over and over again; he would protect her with his life, and now it was my turn to protect her for him.
“Trace, I’m going to examine you okay?”
Nixon clenched his fists, but he didn’t move.
Val swiftly walked into the room and began pulling the comforter back and getting it ready for Trace, while Nixon stood frozen in place.
Once Val was finished, she went over to Nixon and grabbed his hand. “She’s going to do great.”
Nixon squeezed back and stood, paralyzed as Trace lay down on the bed. “Trace.” I cleared my throat. “I’m going to—”
“Ahhh!” She punched the bed. “Just do it already!”
It felt weird, checking my cousin’s wife to see how dilated she was. What was even weirder, seeing a baby’s head. “Oh, shit.”
“Oh, shit?” Nixon yelled. “That’s what you say?”
“Head.” I took a deep breath. “There’s a head.”
“A baby’s head?” Nixon gasped for air, then pounded his chest.
“No. A grasshopper.” I glared. “Yes, you asshole, your daughter’s head. Okay Trace, on this next contraction I need you to push.” I eyed Val. “Get some towels.”
The sound of the ambulance became her symphony as Trace pushed twice and then rested.
“Good work.” I was touching a head. Holy shit. I was the calm one. Thus the whole medical school track, every mafia family needed one, I just quit before I could actually become one; that’s what I reminded myself as I asked her to push again.
Soon EMT’s were waltzing into the house. I could hear their muffled voices then the stomping of feet on the stairs.
“One last push, Trace,” I encouraged.
“So tired.” She sighed. “It hurts.”
“Sweetheart.” Nixon finally moved from his spot on the carpet and ran over to her, kissing her forehead. “You can do this.”
“I can.” She grabbed his hands and pushed.
“Almost there!” I said, injecting calm confidence into my voice. “Come on, Trace.”
With a scream, she pushed one last time, and a baby’s wail pierced the tension in the room. I held the little girl in my arms, shocked to the core as paramedics finally made it into the room and went to Trace’s side.
“She’s beautiful.” Val’s eyes shone with tears as she wrapped an arm around me.
“She’s so small,” I whispered, picking up a towel and wrapping the tiny infant. “So defenseless. Innocent.”
“She’s perfect.” Val kissed my forehead. “And so were you.”
One of the paramedics applied a plastic clamp to the cord and snipped it.
I stood and walked over to Nixon and Trace, carrying the child like she might break. With shaking hands Nixon took his little girl and gaped, tears streamed down his face.
It was one of the only times I’d ever seen him cry.
“My God, she’s beautiful like her mama,” he whispered reverently. “Thank you.” He brought her to Trace and kissed every inch of her face over and over again. “Thank you so much.”
Val and I quietly excused ourselves. She followed me to the bathroom and shut the door behind her as I washed my hands.
“What.” I smirked as I grabbed the towel. “You’re awful quiet.”
Arms wrapped around me, and then a mouth was sucking down my neck from behind. “You would have been a sexy doctor.”
“You’re really making me re-think medical school right now.” I groaned as she stepped in front of me and her hands moved to my pants and started undoing them.
Giggling she pulled my shirt over my head and kissed me harder.
