Stay, p.2
Stay, page 2
I really fucking need to get laid.
Man or woman, he didn’t much care about that. Like he’d told Cooper when Cooper first started falling for Noah, the human body was a beautiful thing in all its forms. Braden enjoyed it all.
He glanced at his cell to see it was only 4:30 pm. It wasn’t as though he had a whole lot of options to go out this time of day anyway, so he headed to the grocery store to grab a few things.
He made it down two aisles when he noticed a headful of blond, messy curls sticking out from behind a display. Braden felt his lips stretch into a grin as he left his cart next to the meat case and ducked behind the display with her. “Are we hiding?” he asked.
Jessie looked up at him with wide eyes and said, “Uncle Wes is going to put me in karate, that way I can karate-chop strangers if they try to talk to me. I saw you watching Uncle Wes at Mommy’s funeral, though. Does that mean you’re not a stranger?”
It was Braden’s turn for his eyes to go wide. Holy shit. He hadn’t even thought about that. “Your uncle is right. You shouldn’t talk to strangers.” He didn’t want her to think he was a stranger. He also didn’t want to say he wasn’t one, because he sort of was. To her, at least. So what the fuck did he say?
Braden settled on, “I wasn’t watching him.” That made it sound like he was panting around the man like a dog or something.
“Yes you were.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
“Yes, you were.” Her curls flopped when she nodded. They weren’t tied back like they had been when he’d seen her two weeks before.
Jesus, how old was this girl? She argued as well as any woman he’d ever met, and none of his nieces or nephews would notice if a person watched someone or not.
“I was worried about him. That was very nice of me, if I do say so myself.” What the hell? How old was he? “Are we hiding?” he asked again, trying to change the subject.
“Yep! Uncle Wes doesn’t—”
“—Jessie! What are you doing? You can’t sneak away from me like that.” Wes seemed to pop out of nowhere, grabbing Jessie and pulling her to him. He hugged the little girl tightly.
A heavy weight made Braden’s gut sink. Here he’d been trying to play around and hide with her and Wes hadn’t known where she was.
“I’m sorry. I was bored.” Jessie stepped away.
“It’s okay.” There was a slight waver to Wes’s voice as he tried to smooth her hair down, which just popped back up again.
“Do you got a dog?” Jessie asked Braden, pointing to the dog food in his cart. Wes stood from his kneeling position, unease rolling off him as though he just noticed Braden was standing here.
Braden nodded at him. “I saw her standing here and stopped.”
“Thanks...thanks for waiting with her until I found her.”
Ummm, or not. He hadn’t thought of waiting with her. “No problem.” He looked down at Jessie. “I do. He’s a chocolate lab, and about as crazy and wild as they come.”
“Oooh! I want a puppy. Can we get one, Uncle Wes?” And then to Braden, she asked, “What’s his name? Mommy says a name has to mean something.”
Wes paled. He briefly closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. Jessie didn’t seem to notice, but Braden did. Jessie had said Mommy says, not said. His chest ached for the man.
Wes ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes again, obviously wishing he could disappear.
“His name is Jock.” Braden bent down to look Jessie in the eyes, hoping to give Wes a minute.
“What does it mean?”
That he has a fascination with jockstraps... “I’m not creative enough to come up with a name that means something. If I ever get another dog, you can name him. What would you pick?”
She spoke without hesitation. “Uncle Wes.”
Above him, he heard Wes chuckle at that. “You can’t name a dog after me.”
“Why not?” Braden asked at the same time Jessie said, “How come?”
Braden stood. “Personally, I like the name.”
Wes crossed his arms. “Nobody asked you.”
Jessie pulled on Wes’s T-shirt. “That wasn’t very nice.”
Braden crossed his as well, cocking a brow. He could see the fire in Wes’s hazel eyes. He’d seen the same fire the night they’d spent together.
“Yeah, that wasn’t very nice.” Braden grinned, and Wes’s fire blazed even fiercer.
“Mommy says you have to say sorry when you do something that’s not very nice.” Jessie’s big, chestnut eyes looked up at Wes, and Braden knew the man was so incredibly screwed. How would he ever be able to say no to the little girl? And he had to admit, this was a little fun.
What made it better was the small smile threatening to break free across Wes’s face. He fought it, that much was obvious, but it wanted to be there. Braden wondered when the last time he smiled was. The night they’d spent together, the only ones he’d shown was when he gave Cooper a hard time about Noah, and he wondered how real those had been.
So this time, he didn’t even try and find his filter. Who the hell needed one, anyway? “Apologies go a long way, Uncle Wes. I’ve been nothing but nice to you.” More than once that night, before Wes had bailed on him.
***
Jessie standing next to him was the only thing that kept Wes from strangling Braden. He didn’t even care that they were in public. The jail time would be worth wiping that cocky smile from his full lips. Not that his lips were any concern to Wes.
“You’re right, Jess. That wasn’t very nice of me.” His eyes met Braden’s, the words much harder to push from his mouth when he did. “I apologize.” I’m going to kill you.
“I forgot what you said? Why are you sorry?” Braden smirked. Was everything a game to the man?
Wes bit down, trying not to tell Braden what he really felt. The prick. “I apologize for being rude.”
Jessie’s thin arms wrapped around his waist. “Good job, Uncle Wes.”
His heart thudded, suddenly the fake apology becoming worth it. “Thanks, kiddo.”
Braden’s forehead wrinkled slightly, but then he found his ground. “Yeah, Uncle Wes. Good job. And I forgive you. What are friends for?”
“Stop calling me that. Please.” He added the last part so Jessie wouldn’t give him hell. She was just as strong and opinionated as her mom had been.
“Oh, can I pick some fruit snacks?” Jessie pointed to the aisle behind them. Wes turned so he could keep an eye on her and nodded. Two seconds later she already ran over, scanning the five million shapes of the same thing.
“You’re right.” Braden stepped closer to him. Wes stood his ground, not moving backward. That didn’t stop Braden from leaning forward, his mouth close to Wes’s ear, and whispering, “Considering I’ve been inside you, that’s probably not the best thing to call you.”
He tried to pull back, but Wes grabbed his arm and held him there. “I know you’re bi, but don’t forget who you’re talking to. Don’t try and flirt with me like you would a woman, because you’re not going to get the same response.”
With that, Wes walked away. Jessie grabbed her snacks, and when he got to the far end of the aisle, he glanced back. Braden still stood where he’d left him, watching.
Jessie didn’t stop talking the whole drive home. When they got to the small, three-bedroom house she’d shared with her mother, they went straight for the kitchen and started cooking tacos, one of the few things he knew how to make. He had a feeling they’d be eating a whole hell of a lot of tacos.
While they cooked, and then through dinner, he searched for the words to talk to Jessie about her mom. Each time he opened his mouth, nothing came out. His chest ached. How was he supposed to do this?
He and Chelle had talked to her before she passed. He and Lydia talked to her after. But she was young. He didn’t know if she really got it. Wes wouldn’t rely on Lydia every time they needed to have a talk. Jessie was his responsibility, and he damn sure took that seriously.
That didn’t make the ache go away, though. Didn’t make the words he wished weren’t true fall out of his mouth.
“Hey, Jess?”
“Can we watch TV? I wanna watch TV. Will you watch it with me?” she said, her mind always on the go.
“Yeah, yeah, we can watch TV.” Coward.
They watched a couple episodes of cartoons before he ran a bubble bath for her. One a week, Chelle had said, no more than one bubble bath a week, though he didn’t have a clue why. He just knew that her other baths had to be without her favorite part of the whole thing.
He put her in pajamas with feet in them after she finished bathing. She got a package of fruit snacks for her snack, and then Wes said, “It’s time for bed, kiddo.”
“What ‘bout my hair?”
What was wrong with her hair? “Your hair?”
“It’s still wet. Mommy says I’m not supposed to go to bed with wet hair when it’s getting cold.”
“Oh.” Wes scratched his forehead. “Okay.” He searched the hall bathroom for a blow dryer but couldn’t find one. He knew he sure as hell didn’t have one in his room, so he checked the hall closet next. It wasn’t there, either. Wes looked toward the other end of the house. Toward the closed door he didn’t want to go into.
He wanted nothing more than to put her to bed with wet hair, but if Chelle said she couldn’t, he wouldn’t do that. She’d taken good care of him, and he would do the same thing for her daughter.
“Go in the bathroom and wait for me, okay? I’m going to get the blow dryer.”
Jessie skipped to the bathroom, not realizing how close to a heart attack he was. He took a deep breath and just did it. Walked to the other side of the house, opened her door, went straight to the bathroom, ripped the cabinets opened, pulled out the black blow dryer, and then was back out. Had he even taken a breath the whole time he was in there?
There was a distinct scent when someone was dying. He smelled it often at the hospital he used to work at, but had never considered having it in his home. In Chelle’s room. It would be gone by now, but he still didn’t think he could ever breathe in there again.
It didn’t take long to dry her hair. He told her to go to the bathroom again, and waited in her pink bedroom for her to come back. Her hair flew every which way, and he didn’t even try to tie it back. He’d almost taken out an eye when he tried this morning.
When Jessie lay under the blankets, Wes sat on the edge of her bed. “Remember earlier, when we were talking with Braden at the store? You were talking about what your mom said.”
Jessie nodded.
His heart felt like someone threw it in a blender and turned it on. “I just wanted to see if you want to talk about her. We always can, you know? That’s a good way to remember her.” The speed on the blender kicked up. “It’s good to talk about her to keep her memory alive. You remember she’s not coming back, right?”
He reached out to lay a hand on Jessie’s arm, but his fucking hand was shaking. Hold it together, man. It’s your job to hold it together for this little girl.
Jessie nodded. No words, just a nod.
“It’s okay to miss her.”
“Do you miss her?” Jessie asked.
He closed his eyes and focused on trying to slow his heartbeat. “I do.”
“Me, too.” She turned on her side, and this time he kept his hand steady as he pushed her hair away from her face.
“She loved you more than anything, kiddo.”
“You, too. Mommy said family is the most ’portant thing in the world.”
He smiled at how she said ‘important.’ “It is. You okay?”
Jessie nodded. Wes leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Good night, Jess.”
He got all the way to the door before her voice stopped him. “Is Braden a stranger?”
Wes squeezed the doorknob. “No...not really.”
“He’s your friend, though. He was at Aunt Lydia’s for Mommy’s funeral.”
He let the question roll around in his head. She had enough going on in her life; he didn’t want her to be confused about Braden, too. “Yeah, yeah, he’s a friend. We have lots of friends, though. The people in your preschool class, and Noah and Cooper. You remember them?”
Jessie nodded. “I’m glad he’s our friend. I like him. I didn’t want to have to karate-chop him.”
Wes laughed, some of the tension in his chest dropping off with it. But then he thought of Braden’s last words to him. Jessie didn’t have to worry about karate-chopping him, because Wes would probably kill the man first.
Maybe that would take his kissable lips, and his rough, skilled hands out of Wes’s mind. Because as much as he didn’t want to admit it, they’d been there since the night he’d walked out on Braden.
Chapter Three
The next morning Braden kicked back in his recliner and dialed his phone. There was a second where he wondered if maybe he shouldn’t do it, but hesitation wasn’t really how he worked. What did you ever gain by holding back? He had something to say, and he damn sure planned to say it.
Wes, on the other hand, probably wouldn’t agree with him.
Braden grinned when Wes answered on the third ring. “What do you want?”
“You answered.”
“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do when someone calls?”
Huh. That reply hadn’t been one he expected. “You’ve ignored my calls before.”
“Would you rather I hang up? I can do that. It’s not like I don’t have other things to do.” The tone of Wes’s voice had that edge of sexy seriousness it always did. It drove Braden wild, which he didn’t get at all. He usually didn’t go for serious.
“No, don’t hang up. You’re not going to want to miss this.” Braden flipped the button closing his recliner before heading to the kitchen. “I’m calling to apologize. I hope you realize how rare an occasion this is. In fact, I can hold on if you want to record it or dictate the conversation or something.”
Silence greeted him.
“Ah fuck. I didn’t make you pass out, did I?”
A husky chuckle came through the phone, making Braden smile. That might be the first time he’d heard Wes laugh.
“You’re crazy.”
Braden leaned against his kitchen counter and crossed his arms. “Does that mean I’m forgiven?” When Wes didn’t reply right away, he added, “I’m only apologizing for what I said at the end of the service. It’s true, but my timing was wrong. And also for the grocery store yesterday. My doctor is still trying to come up with a cure for my ‘open mouth, insert foot’ disorder.”
He listened for a minute to the sound of Wes breathing through the phone before the man finally answered. “If we’re being honest, let’s admit that you have no real reason to apologize. I do, though. Things have just been...”
Braden waited for him to continue but he didn’t. And it didn’t surprise Braden, either. He didn’t know much about Wes, but it was obvious he kept most things to himself. That had never bothered Braden about anyone before, yet even though he understood it, it still felt like that annoying itch he couldn’t scratch. What did Wes have against talking to him? “It’s cool, man. You’re going through a lot. I get it. We can be friends. I know how to only be friends, ya know.”
Wes gave another of his signature pauses. While he waited, Braden thought about telling Wes he liked the new facial hair he had at the store yesterday. Not a full goatee, but dark hair on his chin that added to his sexiness. Luckily, he found it in himself to keep quiet.
“Listen, I better go. I need to pick Jessie up from preschool in a little while, and I have some things to take care of first,” Wes finally said.
A deep breath pushed from Braden’s lungs. There was his answer, he guessed. “Alright. Have a good one.”
He pulled the phone from his ear, about to hit end, when Wes’s voice stopped him. “Thanks...thanks for calling.”
Before Braden could reply, the man hung up. Damned if Braden wasn’t smiling again. He wasn’t sure why Wes’s words made him feel so good.
A couple days later, Braden jumped into his truck and headed over to Cooper’s house. Braden had the day off and he was bored as hell. Since Noah worked today, and Coop wasn’t back to the firehouse yet, they’d decided to hang out.
His buddy answered the door quickly. “Where’s the sling?” Braden asked.
“Fuck off,” was Coop’s reply, and Braden couldn’t help but laugh.
“Bet you wear it when Noah’s around.” Noah was a good guy, and obviously crazy in love with Cooper. Braden didn’t know him too well, but he did know that if the doc still wanted Coop in that sling, Noah would make damn sure he had it on while around.
“Again, fuck off. It’s driving me batty. I’m starting rehab on my arm this week. If I can handle that, I can handle not wearing the thing for a few hours.”
Braden laughed at Coop’s surly voice as he followed him into the living room. Cooper sat in the chair and Braden the couch. “It’s driving you bat-shit crazy not being at work, isn’t it?” he asked.
“Yeah, I miss it. I need to get my ass back out there. I’m driving Noah crazy, too.”
Braden nodded, because he got it. He always needed to keep busy. If he wasn’t working, he needed to be doing something. He played on a local soccer team, worked out a lot, and went out a lot, too.
As a kid his mom always used to say he spent all his time looking for the next best thing. That wasn’t really what it boiled down to, though. He just hadn’t found anything that held his attention for long. Wasn’t his fault. “I’m sure you’re not driving Noah crazy.”
Cooper cocked a brow at him. “What about you? Are you driving Wes crazy?”
