Stay, p.6
Stay, page 6
Another truth singed the edges of that thought. He’d never spent a Christmas with Jessie. He hadn’t spent one with Chelle or Lydia in years. Work was always an excuse. They knew, though. Knew that he’d come to see them less and less, which pretty much made him a bastard.
Wes shook his head. Jesus, he’d been feeling sorry for himself a lot lately. Not just lately; years, it seemed.
After twisting off the lids to their beers, he tossed them into the trash before heading back to the porch. “Here you go.” He handed the bottle to Braden and took the seat beside him.
“It’s relaxing out here.” Braden kicked his feet up and rested them on the railing.
“It is. Would be a nice place to paint.”
Wes felt Braden’s eyes on him, so he turned to face him and made himself grin. “What? That surprises you?”
“Nah. Totally used to you being a completely open book and sharing pieces of your life like that. You paint?”
He remembered Braden’s words from the kitchen the other night, winked, and repeated what he said. “I’m a man of many talents.”
Braden laughed. “Always bustin’ my balls. You’re lucky I like you. Especially when you’re like this.”
Wes almost asked him what he meant but realized he might already know. He wasn’t even sure when the switch had flipped inside him, changing his mood. “You make it easy,” he teased.
“Easy to bust my balls, or it’s easy to be in a good mood around me?” He swallowed a mouthful of beer, looking at Wes over the bottle. The bastard. He had that cocky glint in his eyes, the mischievous curl to his lips. “I think you like me, too. One of these days you’re going to admit it.”
Wes rolled his eyes, realizing he tried to hold back a smile. “Don’t hold your breath.”
“Would you give me mouth-to-mouth?”
He couldn’t fight it this time and let out a chuckle. “Now you’re moving into cheesy territory. You should stop while you’re ahead.” But then, Wes wanted to hold onto the lightness around them, too. Wanted to cling to it for once in his life because it felt a whole lot better than the alternative.
He took another drink. “It’d probably be easier than getting rid of the body.”
Braden let out a loud laugh. “Fucker. I’ll remember that. I guess we should change the subject, then. I wouldn’t want to get too cheesy on you and force you into mouth-to-mouth or digging a hole. When do you start work?”
A little sting of regret burned him at the subject change. “This week. I’m on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. I’m probably going to have to put Jess in daycare for a couple hours on Wednesdays, which I fucking hate. Lydia works a little later that day. I was hoping to get it off but it would screw up their rotation.” It was another change for her. She’d never been in daycare her whole life. Chelle and Lydia had always been able to work their schedules so they could help each other out.
“Can I ask where her dad is?” Braden leaned forward, rubbing a hand on Jock’s head before sitting back again.
“Died. She couldn’t have been more than a few months old. Life is really fucked up sometimes. She’s not even five and she’s lost both her parents.” He shook his head, set the bottle of beer down, then leaned forward. What was with their family and losing everyone who meant something to them? Alexander may not have died but he walked away from Wes and never looked back.
Wes tensed when he felt Braden’s hand at the back of his neck. “I work Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.”
Wes turned Braden’s way, the man’s rough hand still against his skin. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t.”
“You can’t want to. That’s a lot of responsibility every week.”
“Are you kidding me? She’s a blast. She just might be the only person who can keep up with me, anyway.”
Braden brushed his finger through the hair at the nape of Wes’s neck, and damned if desire didn’t make Wes’s cock start to rise.
“Say yes.” Braden’s voice went deep. “Don’t overthink it, don’t worry. I’ll take a background check for you if you need me to. I want to help. Just say yes.”
The word “no” sat uncomfortably on his tongue. They didn’t need to intertwine their lives like this. Jessie was his responsibility. But then he thought about how much fun Jess had with Braden. He trusted her with him. He didn’t know if that was the right thing. Would Chelle have trusted him?
He didn’t know about her, but Wes did. “Yes,” he said. Braden nodded. When Wes leaned back, Braden didn’t move his hand. And Wes didn’t tell him to.
“Did she ever watch the sun rise from out here?” Braden asked.
A smile suddenly pulled at his lips. “Yeah. Yeah, she did.”
“When was the last time you watched the sun rise, man?”
Hell, he couldn’t even remember. “I don’t know.”
“Then we’ll do it. No excuses, no reason. We’ll just do it because we can, and because we want to.”
It didn’t matter that he’d been tired earlier, or that they’d be sitting our here for more hours than he wanted to count. He wasn’t sure he’d ever really wanted to watch the sun rise before, but suddenly it was important.
“Yeah...yeah, let’s do it.”
There were long periods of quiet, but also talking, too. Wes made coffee, and Braden let Jock out to stretch his legs once or twice.
When the sun peeked out from behind a mountain, pinks and oranges in the sky, he realized why Chelle would sometimes do this. Wished he would’ve done it with her. And glad he’d done it with Braden. No one else would have thought to do something like this.
“Jesus, that’s fucking beautiful.”
“Yeah it is,” Braden replied, and then pushed to his feet. “Now you can say you spent the night with Braden Roth.”
Wes looked up at him. “More like you can say you spent the night with me.”
Braden winked. “Finally.” He turned for the screen door on the porch. “Come on, Jock, let’s go.”
The dog got up and followed him, and Wes watched. Watched until Braden’s truck drove out of sight.
Chapter Eight
Around five thirty, on the fourth Wednesday that Braden watched Jessie, his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket to see Wes’s name light up on the screen. He grinned and said, “You’re bringing us dinner, right? I’m exhausted, honey. I don’t know if I can handle cooking tonight. I feel like you’re never home anymore.”
Wes briefly chuckled. “Funny.”
“Made you laugh.” He took it almost as a personal goal to make Wes laugh as much as he could. The man didn’t do it nearly enough. And he was pretty good at it.
Wes didn’t reply to his comment, and instead said, “We’re crazy around here. We have a trauma ten minutes out. Anna’s working the ER tonight but she’s not feeling well. She said she could stay until seven when someone gets in to cover for her, but—”
“But you want to help.” He already realized that’s who Wes was. He’d do more for others than he’d do for himself. “It’s cool. We got this. I’ll order a pizza or something.”
“Yay!” Jessie screamed and Braden ruffled her hair.
“Are you sure? Anna can stay if you have somewhere to go. Or I could call Lydia.”
“It’s cool. You’d feel guilty if you left her to work when she didn’t feel well. I have your number, man. We can even pretend it was my idea and you didn’t have to ask if you want.”
Wes paused, which wasn’t a surprise to Braden. He always seemed taken aback when Braden called him on something, when Braden called people on most things.
“I need to get to the ER. I...thanks.”
“No problem. Go save lives. We’ll be here when you get done.” He hung up before Wes could. Braden stood up. “Uncle Wes is going to be a little late, so we’re on our own for dinner tonight. What do you like on your pizza?”
Jessie grinned up at him. “Cheese.”
“And?”
Her nose wrinkled, as though she didn’t know what he meant.
“You only eat cheese on your pizza? You’re missing out, Squirt. Do you trust me?”
Another confused look.
“Never mind. I got this. You’re about to have the best pizza you’ve ever put in your mouth.” Braden made the quick call to order their dinner. They had time to watch a couple episodes of Tom and Jerry before the doorbell rang.
After paying, he walked over to the coffee table but Jessie said, “We can’t eat dinner in the living room. Mommy says it’s good to eat dinner at the table.”
Oh. “Cool. We can handle the table.” Wes usually worked six a.m. to six p.m. Braden usually left not long after Wes got home, so he hadn’t done the dinner thing with them except when Jessie was sick. He figured that didn’t really count, though.
“What about the TV? You have to turn off the TV.”
Oh. “Why do we have to turn off the TV?” He set the pizza boxes on the table. All three of them.
“Cuz dinner is to talk. Mommy says that’s when you talk about your day.”
Oh. And yeah, he was fully aware he’d thought Oh three times in a row, but often it felt like Jessie was the one watching him. Chelle must have been great. It made sense considering Jessie seemed smarter than any four-year-old he knew. “Sounds good to me.” He gave them each a paper plate, thinking about the fact that Jessie spoke about her mom as though she was still around. “You have to try this: pepperoni, sausage, onion and black olives. I know it doesn’t sound good, but it’s great.”
Jessie stuck her tongue out. “Ew. That’s yucky.”
“Yucky? It’s the Braden special,” he teased but she didn’t look impressed. “Fine. I bought you a cheese pizza, too. Don’t think I won’t remember this, though.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Ignore me.”
They finished eating. Braden cleaned up the mess afterward and Jessie watched him like she always did. “Are you having a sleepover?” she asked.
I wish, kid. “No. Your uncle will be home around seven thirty, so he’ll put you to bed.”
“How come you never have a sleepover? I sleep at Aunt Lydia’s.”
Hell. Why did he always get these questions? “Because I have my own house. I just like to hang out with you for a few hours on Wednesdays.”
“Don’t you want to sleep over? It would be fun.”
Yes, yes he did. He very much wanted to spend the night with Wes again.
Braden put the milk in the fridge. “I’m sure it would be, but...it just doesn’t work that way.” How the hell did he put it other than that?
“Why?”
Braden really wished he could ban that word tonight. “I’m craving ice cream. How about you?”
That easily, her questions stopped and her eyes went big. He’d have to remember to make sure Wes always had ice cream in the house.
After they had their snack, Jessie curled up with Jock on the living room chair and watched TV. She yawned about eight hundred times, and he thought about putting her to bed, but he had no clue what he needed to do to get her ready. He glanced at his cell. It was already eight. Where the hell was Wes?
Just as he went to dial, the door opened and Wes came in. “Uncle Wes!” Jock and Jessie both jumped off the chair and ran to greet him.
Braden watched Wes’s tired eyes brighten as he hugged the little girl. It didn’t change the bags he had there, or the slump of his body. He was obviously tired as hell.
“We had pizza and ice cream!” Jessie told Wes, who looked at Braden over her head.
“Oh, did you?”
“Is that a bad thing?” Braden asked.
Wes shook his head. “Nah. It’s okay to treat her sometimes.” Even his voice sounded lower and more exhausted than usual.
Jessie yawned and Wes picked her up. “Let’s get you to bed.” He caught Braden’s eyes. “Sorry I’m late. I—”
“Get her to sleep. I’ll hang around and we can talk when you’re done.”
Wes nodded and disappeared down the hall. Damn, he respected the hell out of the man for everything he did. And he wished there was more he could do to help. It hadn’t started this way, but he really did consider Wes a friend. He enjoyed his company, and for the first time in his life, outside of work, he was doing more than just going out to get laid or have fun. He felt like what he did mattered, even if it was just to a curly-haired little girl and her uncle, who Braden liked to see smile.
***
After Wes got Jessie into bed, he went to his room and changed out of his scrubs and into a pair of sweatpants and a shirt. His stomach growled and his bed called his name, but he knew that if he lay down, he wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway. His mind didn’t want to shut down lately, picking night to run wild.
When he made it back to the living room, Braden sat at the table in front of three pizza boxes. “Hungry?” he asked.
“Jessie wanted cheese. I didn’t know what you liked, so I figured I’d be safe with pepperoni. And then I needed mine, too.”
Wes opened one of the boxes and set a few pieces on a plate. “You didn’t have to get a whole cheese pizza for her, or a whole one for me. Let me know how much it was and I’ll pay you back.”
“Nah. It’s not a big deal.”
Wes sighed. “Yes, it is.”
“Then I guess you’ll have to buy next time.”
Wes wasn’t in the mood to argue, so he went over and sat on the couch.
“I was told we aren’t allowed to eat dinner in the living room. I might have to tell on you.”
A laugh sat on the sidelines but he didn’t have the energy to get it out. “Don’t go getting me in trouble.”
They were mostly quiet while Wes ate. He wondered why Braden stayed, but then realized he didn’t mind the company and didn’t mention it. When he finished eating he set the plate down and tossed a crust to Jock, who caught it. “I am so fucking tired.” He dropped his head back and closed his eyes. “We lost the patient. It was a MVA. I always...” He sighed, knowing he wouldn’t finish that statement. Motor vehicle accidents were tough for him, especially when they lost the patient. He always pictured his mom.
“Anyway, I ran a few minutes late from that, and then someone needed a ride home and they were a little out of the way. Sorry again for being late. I owe you one.” He owed him more than that if he would admit it.
“Do you want me to go so you can get some sleep?”
Wes opened his eyes, rolling his head to the side so he could still lean back against the couch but could see Braden, too. He had his leg pulled up, his ankle resting on a knee. He had on a long-sleeved shirt, but like most of what he wore, it was pulled taut across the hard planes of his body. His dark hair looked like he’d run his hand through it over and over; Wes realized it pretty much always looked like that. He hadn’t had his hands in that hair enough the night they spent together.
“I’m tired as hell but can’t seem to relax enough to go to sleep. I toss and turn half the night.” He shut up there and hoped Braden wouldn’t ask why. Wouldn’t pry into things Wes would rather not talk about.
And thankfully, Braden didn’t ask. He just looked at Wes with an expression in his eyes that Wes didn’t understand. No, that was a lie. He knew what it was. Lust.
Braden stood, walked over, and sat on the coffee table in front of him. Arguments and words teased his tongue but he didn’t let any of them out, just continued to lean against the couch and look at Braden.
“When was the last time you’ve done anything for yourself? The last time someone has done something for you?” Braden didn’t move closer as he waited for Wes to answer.
“Why? What does that have to do with anything?”
“You work extra hours when you’re exhausted to help someone else out. You give someone a ride when we both know you just wanted to be home. And that’s just what I know about from today. What do you do for you? What do you let someone else do for you?”
Plenty of people in his life had made sacrifices for him—Chelle, Lydia, his mom. “Don’t try and make a hero out of me. And you watched my niece for me tonight. You watch her every week, so I could say the same thing to you. You do something for me every week.”
Braden shook his head. “Nah. I don’t do that for you. Jessie’s cool to hang out with and you’re nice to look at. I’m here for me.”
The air in the room thickened. Wes’s body began to overheat. He wanted to feel something, something besides worry and stress and fear.
And Braden was more than just nice to look at. He had a dimple below his mouth that Wes suddenly wanted to taste. Wanted to put his hand in the hair he’d been admiring and fist it tightly there.
“I want you.” Braden pushed toward the edge of the table.
“I have nothing to give right now.” I never do... When Alexander walked out on him, when he hadn’t been enough, he’d decided he’d never try to be again.
“I’m not asking you for anything. Well, except for you to let me get on my knees and blow you.” He went down to the floor between Wes’s legs and reached for his sweats.
Wes’s hand shot out, wrapping around Braden’s wrist. “Not here.” His voice sounded gravelly, even to his own ears. “Not where Jessie could come out.” Because no wasn’t even a possibility. How could he turn this down? Braden had fucked him before. He’d almost been with Noah. Sex was just sex, and he was tired of fighting it. It had been different when Chelle was still alive. Different right after. But damned if he didn’t need this right now.
“Hell yes.” Braden stood and Wes was right behind him. He followed Braden to his bedroom, closing and locking the door behind them. As soon as the lock clicked into place, Braden went back to his knees again. “Jesus, it’s been killing me not to have my mouth on you.”
He put his forearm against Wes’s stomach and pushed him backward, against the door. “I didn’t get to suck your cock last time. I’m warning you right now, I’m good at this.” He looked up at Wes and winked.
