The melody in our hearts, p.12
The melody in our hearts, page 12
There was a bigger version of the picture on the front cover, where Ryan had an arm around her while he was opening a door for her, and she remembered exactly where it had been taken: It was when they were leaving the venue, after the show, and Ryan had opened the door for her and was ushering her out. But to everyone else, it obviously looked as if he was hugging her, with an arm around her shoulders. Then there was another one of them at the airport, when she had arrived from Boston and he had hugged her; the third one had been taken by the swimming pool, while they were talking and she had taken his hand, and there was another one of Ryan diving into the pool.
She read the captions underneath each picture, and she almost felt sick. It was unbelievable. If she hadn’t been there, if she hadn’t lived it, she would have thought, looking at the pictures, that they really were two lovers. It hurt her to feel that the people they knew, their families and even her colleagues in the hospital, would think she had been secretly dating jazz star Ryan Wyler.
“This is insane,” she said, running her fingers through her hair and resting her elbow on the table to support her head, which had suddenly become extremely heavy. Her temples throbbed, and she felt as if she had had one drink too many and was paying the price for it. “I mean, people can’t believe all they read in these tabloids, can they?”
Karen shrugged. “I believed it. And I know you, both of you. It really looks like you’re acting like lovers, at least to people who don’t know how special your friendship is.”
Valerie glared at her. She hadn’t liked the way Karen had emphasized the word “special,” as if she too was doubting that they were only good friends and was hinting there was something more behind all that.
Karen noticed the expression on Valerie’s face, and her face fell. She hadn’t meant to upset her, but honestly, it would look to anyone like they were more than friends, and Valerie should start to realize they weren’t the cute Irish teenagers who used to hang out at an old music club in Dublin anymore. He was a celebrity and a damn attractive man, and she was a woman. How could they expect to still go around holding hands and hugging without people thinking they were lovers? It was high time Valerie opened her eyes!
“Don’t get me wrong, but Valerie, honestly, don’t you see how odd your friendship looks to everyone else? Men and women can’t be friends: They are either lovers or strangers, and that’s just how it goes. You’re not a teenager anymore, and this is really starting to sound ridiculous now. And don’t try to tell me you never feel hormones dancing the samba when he hugs you because then I’d start thinking you’re not interested in men at all, if you know what I mean!”
Valerie looked at her open-mouthed, and she felt as if Karen had just stabbed her with a kitchen knife. She had known her for ten years now, yet she suddenly wondered if she had ever known her at all. And what was all this nonsense about hormones now? Dating Kevin wasn’t doing her any good. Valerie was sure this was all his own work, as he had never believed that Ryan and Valerie were only friends; no doubt he was putting ideas in his girlfriend’s head.
She stood up, slamming the magazine on the floor.
“This conversation is absurd,” she said, emptying the mug into the sink and turning back to face Karen. “If this is what you think, then I guess I’ve been extremely mistaken about putting my trust in you, Karen.”
She didn’t give Karen the chance to object or reply, as she quickly walked out of the kitchen and, after grabbing her purse and her cell phone, she left and slammed the door.
But she didn’t get far because, as soon as she had rounded the corner, she saw a group of people coming toward her, holding cameras and microphones, and she had to walk into the first café she found and lock herself in the bathroom for half an hour, waiting for those people to get tired and leave. Only then could she get out and go home again. This was going to be a problem – a real big one.
Twenty-six
“Are you happy now? Just keep doing things your way, and here’s what you get!”
Ryan flinched when Gordon, his manager, threw a magazine on his table while he was having breakfast in his hotel room in Atlanta. Gordon sounded angry, but it wasn’t until Ryan noticed the small picture on the front cover that he realized why, and he felt his blood go cold.
It was a picture of Valerie and him, as they were getting out of the venue the night of the Miami show, and the title read: “Meet Jazz Star Ryan Wyler’s secret lover: Check page fifteen for more pictures and hot details.”
This must be a joke; it was utterly insane. The caption under the picture of them leaving the venue read: “Ryan feels very protective of his girlfriend and wraps his arm around her while romantically opening the door for her. Isn’t he a real gentleman?”
He couldn’t help but laugh as he read it and wondered who on Earth bought those tabloids and actually believed what was in them.
Gordon didn’t seem to find it funny though, and he slumped down on the chair opposite him, taking out his cell phone.
“Is there something I need to know, before I make a phone call or two to fix this mess you’ve made, Ryan?”
Ryan looked up and saw Gordon looked livid, although he didn’t really understand what his problem was and what it was Gordon should know. Hadn’t he met Valerie when she had come to Miami? Hadn’t he known all along that she was and always had been Ryan’s best friend, and there was nothing else between them but a deep, strong friendship? Gordon was definitely working too much, and he really needed a holiday. Ryan made a mental note to make sure he would get away for a while once they were back in Boston.
“What are you talking about?” he asked, as innocently as a child, and this seemed to upset Gordon even more.
“Is there anything going on between you and that girl?”
Ryan winced and stared at him in disbelief: Was he really asking him whether he was having a fling with Valerie? This was ridiculous.
“Gordon, for Heaven’s sakes, you’ve known me and Valerie for almost five years: Are you seriously asking me if we’re lovers?”
“Listen, what happens under your sheets is none of my business, but if you’re in a relationship, I must know. Most of your fans are young women, and you know they don’t like being lied to!”
Ryan laughed, a sarcastic and ironic laugh, and stood up, leaving half of his breakfast on the table.
“I won’t even bother to reply; fix whatever you want to fix, or leave it as it is. I don’t give a damn.”
“Ryan! Come back!”
But Ryan didn’t even turn to look at him and walked out the door, knowing that if he stayed just one more minute, he would probably end up punching Gordon.
Then he took out his cell phone and pressed speed dial to make sure Valerie was all right.
“Val, I’m sorry. I should’ve been more careful. It was really stupid of me. I hope this isn’t going to cause you trouble at work.”
Valerie sat on her bed and looked at the picture of the two of them on her nightstand. She wished with every fiber of her body that they could go back to those happy times at the Club, when nothing else mattered except music and their friendship. She looked at them, smiling and wearing party hats, and she felt a single tear drifting down her cheek. She missed those days so badly now.
“It’s okay,” she lied, knowing it wasn’t at all okay. Would they come looking for her at the hospital? Would she lose her job? If they had waited for her outside her apartment, they surely knew where she worked too, and the last thing she wanted was for the hospital manager to think she was going to cause trouble, forcing him to fire her. She cringed as a jolt of fear shot through her: She couldn’t lose her job because of some stupid tabloids, she couldn’t lose her job because of Ryan, she couldn’t lose her job – period!
“I know it’s not, and I know they’ll probably give you a hard time, and I’m sorry I’m the cause of it. I really am, Val.”
“Don’t worry too much about it. These things usually last a day or two. Once they’ve found some other gossip, they’ll leave us alone. What worries me most, though, is what Kevin’s reaction will be. Karen honestly thought I had been hiding something from her, and it really upset me.”
Ryan sighed, knowing the next phone call would probably have to be to Kevin. He had always teased Ryan about his relationship with Valerie, and the last thing he needed was to see those pictures and believe something that wasn’t real.
“Yeah, he’ll be jumping with joy, I’m sure.”
“And he’ll probably say, ‘I knew it, I knew it!’”
They both laughed, momentarily forgetting all the trouble those pictures had caused and would surely be causing later, and when the door behind him opened, Ryan gave a start. Seeing Gordon’s expression, he thought it best to end the phone call.
“I’ve gotta go now. I’ll call you later, okay? Try not to let this bother you, will ya?”
“Is it Valerie?” Gordon asked, holding out his hand, and Ryan stared at him, not sure he understood what Gordon wanted. “Let me talk to her – come on.”
Ryan didn’t have time to object because Gordon grabbed his phone from his hand and brought it to his ear.
“Whatever you do, whoever approaches you, just don’t say a thing. Don’t you even try to explain anything; I’ve already fixed everything, and I don’t need you talking to reporters and giving your version of the story, understood?”
Valerie was so taken aback that she didn’t find the heart to even say yes or no; she simply sat on her bed holding the phone in her hand, wondering whether this was a sort of joke, or if it was really happening.
But a moment later she heard Ryan’s voice on the other end of the line again, and she suddenly exhaled, realizing she had been holding her breath while Gordon was speaking.
“Forgive him, Val. He tends to get a bit melodramatic at times!” Ryan laughed, trying to ease the tension and knowing he would need to have a serious conversation with Gordon once he hung up with Valerie.
“No problem, no harm done,” she lied again, feeling tears prick her eyes.
They said goodbye and, while Valerie lay down on her bed letting the tears flow, Ryan had a very unpleasant conversation with Gordon, making a few things clear.
Twenty-seven
When she tried to go to work the following day, Valerie was assaulted by reporters, and she had to stop a taxi and get away as quickly as possible just to get rid of them. Taking the subway would be out of the question for a few more days, and she didn’t like the thought of having to shell out so much money on taxis just to avoid a crowd of stupid reporters.
When she reached the hospital, other reporters were there, and her worst fear seemed to have come true: If the hospital manager saw all that chaos and knew it was because of her, she’d probably lose her job before she could say “but.”
This was totally absurd, and to her it made no sense at all: Ryan was the celebrity, and she was absolutely nobody, so why couldn’t they leave her alone and go interview him? He would know what to say and how to behave, and it would be easy for him to keep them at bay, whereas she didn’t know how to act and, after that short conversation with Gordon, she knew she’d better keep her mouth shut before she caused even more trouble and prompted him to kill her with his bare hands.
She had never really liked Gordon, but Ryan used to tell her he was the best in the field and that he had been strongly recommended by a couple of teachers at Berklee College, so he had trusted their judgment. But after that unpleasant phone call, she was sure she liked Gordon even less, and she hoped she wouldn’t have to meet him again.
When she attempted to walk inside the hospital, the crowd of reporters tried to get her to answer their stupid questions about her and Ryan, but luckily Stan, the security guy, was at hand and he sent them all away, threatening to call the police if they so much as tried to set foot inside the hospital.
Valerie thanked him with a smile, and he simply smiled back without asking her a single question about why they were following her. She hoped her colleagues would all be like him and that nobody would talk about what had happened, but it would have been too much to ask for. Rumors had spread fast in the hospital wards, and she truly hoped it hadn’t been Karen who had started it all.
She noticed some people eyeing her, even those she barely knew, but only a couple of people dared to speak to her. By then, she was exasperated and, as soon as a nurse asked her whether she was really dating Ryan Wyler, she snapped.
“I’ve known him since he was fifteen, we grew up together, and we’re friends. End of story.”
The nurse winced at her reaction, wondering what she should make of it.
“And if one more person dares to ask if I’m sleeping with him, I swear I’m going to hit them on the head with my clipboard! Spread the news around, will ya?”
The nurse walked away quickly, and when Valerie spun around, she noticed Karen looking at her with an amused expression on her face and her thumbs up in approval.
She had hoped they would have been discouraged after a whole day outside the hospital, but it wasn’t until Ryan came back that the reporters left her alone.
He had gone to her apartment and, obviously, he had found them there waiting to catch them both red-handed. But Ryan had been very well trained by Gordon and, as soon as they recognized him, they all ran toward him, firing questions about his secret girlfriend. He smiled at the cameras and bowed his head, shaking it.
“Just like my manager already told the director of the tabloid, this has just been a big misunderstanding.” They kept asking questions, but Ryan knew better than to answer them, and went on with the speech he had rehearsed over and over again in the last couple of days. “She is an old childhood friend of mine who lives in Boston, too. She had a day off work, and I invited her over to Miami to see my show – there’s nothing more than this. I’m sorry to disappoint your expectations, but there’s no secret lover, and I assure you, you’ll be the first to know once there is one.” Some reporters did seem disappointed, but others didn’t seem to believe a word he was saying, so they kept asking their stupid questions. Ryan felt his blood boiling in his veins, but he knew he had to keep his cool.
“I’d be very grateful to all of you if you stopped chasing her around the city; she’s just a normal person who happens to have a famous friend, but she only wants to lead a normal life. If you have questions, my manager and I will be very glad to answer them during an interview. You can get in touch with him and arrange a date. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
He walked away and pressed the button on the intercom, waiting for Valerie to open the door and let him in, and when he was finally in her apartment and had closed the door behind him, he exhaled, knowing they might leave her alone but that it surely wasn’t over for him.
“I think they got it this time. I promised I’ll answer any questions they have about us, but expect people to be calling your family within a few days, wanting to know all about you.”
He opened his arms and she let him hold her, wanting so much for this nightmare to be over.
“I’m sorry, Val. Are things at work really hard?”
She shook her head, inhaling the smell of his cologne, the one she had given him for his last birthday and that she loved so much.
“The first day was tough: People stared at me and asked me questions.” She remembered how awful it had been and how lonely she had felt, but Ryan was here now and everything would soon be okay again. “But then I made it clear with a nurse, not very politely I’m afraid, that I’m not your lover and you are only an old friend, and that seemed to work, so nobody dared to ask anything again.”
He chuckled and kissed the top of her head, knowing she was a strong woman and a great doctor, and he was sure her colleagues and supervisors would know better than to let some stupid gossip spoil her rising career as a surgeon.
Karen walked in at that moment, and Ryan noticed the way she looked at them, but he decided to ignore it and simply greeted her with a smile, letting go of Valerie and asking if he could have a cup of coffee, hoping his request would get that look off Karen’s face.
While the three of them were having coffee in the small kitchen, waiting for Kevin to join them for a quiet dinner together, Ryan truly hoped that Valerie had been right and people would soon get tired of them and would look for more interesting gossip.
Eventually, after a couple of interviews and a few more days in the tabloids, all the sensation Valerie’s visit to Miami had caused started to subside. As soon as another bit of better gossip came up, Valerie and Ryan were finally able to go back to their normal lives.
Twenty-eight
Valerie sat outside the operating room, her coat splattered in blood, her hair sticking to her head underneath the surgical cap, and warm, salty tears rolling down her cheeks.
She couldn’t believe it.
He was dead.
She had killed him.
Doctor Gray, her supervisor and chief surgeon, had let her operate on the man since it was such an easy operation and needed little experience. He shouldn’t have died. There should have been no complications.
But he was dead.
On her table.
She had killed him.
The thought made her sick to her stomach, and she had to rush to the sink where they scrubbed up before and after an operation to keep from vomiting on the floor. But nothing came out. It was probably all in her mind.
Her nerves were shattered, and she couldn’t think straight. Images flashed through her mind, and she wondered how on Earth she was going to walk out there and tell his family that he was dead. That she had killed him.
Tears kept flooding out of her eyes, and she couldn’t seem to be able to pull herself together. She was a doctor, for Heaven’s sakes. She wasn’t supposed to be crying like that over losing a patient! But she couldn’t help it. It had somehow been her fault, and she had killed him. She wasn’t a doctor anymore – she was a murderer now.
The door behind her opened and she winced, holding onto the sink for support, but she didn’t turn back to see who it was. She didn’t want anyone to see her like that, and she hoped that, whoever it was, they would just walk past her and pretend she wasn’t there.
