Pursuit of innocence, p.1
Pursuit of Innocence, page 1
Copyright © 2024 by Bethany Rosa all rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems without permission in writing from the publisher/author, except by a reviewer who may quote passages in a review.
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ISBN: 979-8-9895732-0-2
Romance / Contemporary
Cover design by Jolene Morice, copyright owned by Bethany Rosa.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved by Bethany Rosa and Gallatin Publishing.
Gallatin Publishing
Contents
Prologue
1. “No Shortage of Pricks”
2. “Looking Good”
3. “Decisions”
4. “Strategy”
5. “Virgin”
6. “Stubborn”
7. “Siren”
8. “Confession”
9. “Uninterested”
10. “Up For Grabs”
11. “Don’t Ignore Me”
12. “Get In the Car”
13. “Firsts”
14. “Scared”
15. “Inadequate”
16. “I Make the Rules”
17. “Mature Adults”
18. “Another First Date”
19. “Undecided”
20. “Withdrawal”
21. “Until Tomorrow”
22. “You’re Mine”
23. “No Going Back”
24. “No Regrets”
25. “Domesticating”
26. “How Sorry Are You”
27. “The Conversation Is Over”
28. “Love Triangle”
29. “Wear It”
30. “Never Let You Go”
31. “You Deserve to Know”
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Prologue
Lily
My head is pounding. Crap. I don’t remember how I got home last night. Did I let myself get that out of control? Reluctantly, I start to peel my eyes open and immediately notice this isn’t my bed. I have no idea where I am. When I move to sit up, I’m stopped by a tug on my ankle. I lift the covers to see a rope around it. What the hell is going on? Questions flood my mind as I start to panic.
“Good morning, sleepyhead” comes a voice from the doorway. Wait … I recognize that voice. He enters completely. Oh my God. “You should learn to control your drinking, Lily. It’s a terrible habit. However, you’re not entirely at fault. There may have been a little something slipped into your drink last night,” he mockingly says as he sits in a chair by the bed.
“Why am I here and tied to the bed? What’s going on? What happened?” I’m so confused. I have no memory of how I got here.
“I’m sure you have a lot of questions. All in due time, which we have plenty of now that we’re finally together.”
“You’re scaring me. Will you please tell me what’s happening? What do you want?” Panic has officially set in.
“I want it all, Lily. I want what’s mine.”
1
“No Shortage of Pricks”
One month earlier
Lily
The walk home from work tonight seems to take forever. I’m exhausted after another grueling week between work and school. What is it about Fridays that seem to drag on? Probably because I’m forced to endure Brad, my pervy boss, all day. Classes are only three days a week, so I get the privilege of working in the office all day on Wednesdays and Fridays.
I’m relieved to be walking in my front door and am instantly greeted by Ebony, the black Persian cat we adopted, weaving around my legs. She was given up because she was too affectionate. Who does that?
“Hey, how was work today?” Cici asks from the kitchen. I can see she’s already opening a bottle of wine.
My best friend, Cici, graciously lets me share her apartment for way less than what I should be paying. Rentals around Balboa Park aren’t cheap, but Cici’s family owns the building, so it affords more generosity. It was a battle getting her to accept even the little I do pay. With her knowledge of my crazy past and her family taking me in when my dad abandoned me at fifteen, her empathy runs deep and charity over the top.
Setting my stuff down, I pick up Ebony. “Oh, thrilling as always. I don’t know why I haven’t started looking for something else yet.”
“If I hear you say that one more time before you do it, I’ll start sending out résumés for you. What happened today?” Cici hands me my wine while I sit down at the breakfast bar and situate Ebony on my lap.
“You know how I’ve told you Brad is weird sometimes? He had me work in his office today instead of the reception area because he said he needed me to take notes for him, which I barely even did. It was so uncomfortable. Not only did I run out of work but I couldn’t start on my homework like normal because he was sitting right there watching me. Ugh, it gave me the creeps.”
She points her finger at me and begins her lecture. “Lily, I’m telling you now, something’s wrong with that prick. You’ve had this feeling for too long to ignore anymore. At least start looking at what else is out there. Why don’t you do that when you get bored instead of homework next time?”
I take a big sip before answering. “I can’t look for a new job at my current job, Cici. He could catch me, and I can’t afford to get fired.”
“You know I have your back no matter what. If it’s a matter of your safety, I’ll cover you anytime.”
I shake my head. “I won’t do that. Thanks to you and your family, I’ve supported myself this long. I’m not taking any more help than I’ve already had to. Anyway, all I need to do is get through the next few months, and I’m on my way to better things. Once I graduate, I’ll be able to get my foot in the door at a bigger, more prestigious marketing firm and finally start making enough money to do more than get by.”
She slams her hand down on the counter. “Ugh, it’s so frustrating that you have no support in situations like this. Your loser dad will never step up, so let me be your family, and if you need help, that’s what family’s for.”
“I know and thank you. That means a lot. Now, no more about me. How was your day?” Cici will push and push until I give in. I’ve become an expert at redirecting.
“Wait until you hear this. I found out that Layla broke up with Braden! I finally have a chance at him!” She squeals and claps her hands.
I laugh and give her a high five. “Well, if there’s anyone who can make him forget about his girlfriend of, what, three years? It would be you.”
Cici is the classic California girl with thick long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and a fantastic body thanks to the gym. She’s also the most genuine person on the planet. The only reason no one has snatched her up yet is because she’s as picky as they come and doesn’t have a monogamous bone in her body. I’m the opposite, with my auburn hair, olive skin and wide hazel eyes. Boring and basic, but attractive in the girl next door kind of way. At least I have a decent body thanks to my lack of a car and budget. I walk to everything within a couple of miles and run whenever I can find the time. My diet consists of basic home-cooked meals with no room for indulgences unless Cici’s buying.
The biggest difference between us is my experience with men. The closest thing I’ve had to a boyfriend was a kiss in the closet in fifth grade. Okay, that’s exaggerating, but not by much. There just hasn’t been time since being on my own at fifteen and having to work my butt off ever since. It doesn’t leave much time for dating. I’ve gotten so good at putting off the not interested vibe that my approachability level has become nonexistent. Not to mention, the only two guys I’ve kissed since the closet incident left me with no desire to work on that issue.
“To celebrate my new pursuit, I’ve decided we’re heading out to a new dance club that’s all the rage, and it sounds like you need it after the day you had.” She raises her glass to clink with mine.
Instead, I leave her hanging. “Oh, Cici, I don’t think I’m up for it. You know I’m not very fun at those places, and I’ll end up holding you back more than anything.” She rolls her eyes at me and takes a drink. I can already tell her mind is made up; there’s no way I’m winning this argument. She’s too damn good at persuasion when she digs her heels in.
Pouring more wine into our glasses, she gives me her speech. “Listen, Lily, you need to get out more. It won’t kill you to let loose for one night. You know, one of these days, you need to lose your V-card or at least explore a little further than a make-out session with someone who doesn’t know what he’s doing. Then you’ll see what all the fuss is about. That won’t happen if you stay home all the time and don’t put yourself out there. Let’s go for it tonight, get tipsy and see what happens.”
“I am not going to get drunk and have—”
She holds her hand up, palm facing me. “I’m not saying you should give it up tonight. I know you better than that. I’m just suggesting you loosen up and be open to the possibility of more. Someone’s out there for you, but you need to give them a chance. Regardless, you deserve to have fun now and then, so get ready. We’re le
An hour later, I’m putting my glass away when Cici walks in and stops dead in her tracks. “Whoa, you are not going out to the hottest club in San Diego dressed like you’re going to the office. Follow me.” She turns around without another word, leaving me staring down at myself.
How are black slacks and a nice tank top considered going to the office? Okay, I can see her point on the slacks, but I would only wear this tank with a jacket to work. Most importantly, I put wedges on instead of flats. These are way different from my work shoes. Sighing, I tread down the hallway to her room.
“I think it’s fine. I don’t want to give the wrong message anyway.” Cici’s already standing in her closet and tossing things onto the bed. I can see from here there’s nothing I’m comfortable with. Luckily, we’re similar in size other than my average chest in comparison to her voluptuous one. Most of her clothes fit me, but that doesn’t mean I’d wear most of them. Everything in her overflowing closet is trendy and expensive thanks to her trust fund, but her style and mine are like our looks, night and day. However, I do borrow something for an event now and then since nice dresses are out of my budget.
She scowls at me. “Lily, stop it. Just because you dress hot doesn’t mean you have to screw anyone. It just makes guys notice you more, and that’s step one to meeting the man of your dreams. You have to stop hiding behind your wardrobe. You’re gorgeous and you need to own it. What are you afraid of?”
Instead of answering, I go through the stack of clothes, pick two reasonable options and hold them up. Of course, she grabs two more and pulls me into the adjoining bathroom.
“Come on, you’re trying all four, and then I’m giving you a smoky eye. Lily is coming out to play!” She winks at me as I groan.
Thirty minutes later, we’re pulling up in the Uber, and I must admit, I’m feeling pretty damn sexy with the final look from my stylist for the evening. Exiting onto the sidewalk, I head toward the end of the line, but Cici grabs my arm and pulls me to the VIP entrance. She gives the bouncer our names. He lifts his clipboard to check the list and steps aside, motioning us in. The club is already packed. Opposite the dance floor, there’s a bar the length of the building. Separating them is an enormous staircase lit with in-floor blue lighting leading to the second level, where a balcony looms over the lower level. The club is dark, with just enough strobes and motion lighting to see throughout. The music is pumping, and it already feels stuffy. It’s going to be a long night.
I lean in to Cici. “How did you get us on the list?”
“My brother knows one of the owners, and he got a table for all of us tonight. I forgot to tell you that Jackson and Braden are meeting us here. Oh look, there they are.” She points up to the balcony, where you can see the tables through the glass railing.
There he is. Jackson Soloman. The one guy I can’t seem to keep from thinking about, wishing I was good enough for. I’ve been in love with him since Cici and I became friends during freshman year of high school and I went over to her house for the first time. It was an instant crush. Her older brother by three years, and the hottest boy I had ever seen. If there’s one guy who makes me want to do more than make out, it’s him. The problem is, I don’t think he’s ever considered me as anything other than his little sister’s annoying friend. Why are they even joining us anyway?
Cici starts climbing the stairs, and I pull her arm to stop her. “Why are they here? We never go out together.”
“Well, I wanted to get us into the club without waiting in a line we might never get through, and voilà, here we are. I begged Jackson to get us on the VIP list with his connection, and luckily for me he made joining us a condition. Like I’d say no to spending time with Braden, duh. Now come on, let’s have some fun.” She resumes up the stairs, giving me no choice but to follow.
We walk to where Jackson and Braden are sitting, drinks already on the table with a bottle on ice. Jackson looks amazing, and instantly my insecurities come out in full force. “Hey, ladies, looking good!” Braden says, looking us up and down as we take our seats. “Anyone ready to join me in getting shit-faced tonight and drowning our sorrows?” He lifts his drink in salute and takes a big gulp.
“You’ll have to excuse Braden. He’s on a mission to forget ‘she who must not be named,’ and alcohol is the poison of choice,” Jackson explains, looking at Braden with concern. “It’s why we came tonight.” Well, that explains that.
“I can’t join you in drowning sorrows, Braden, but I’ll join you in getting hammered,” Cici happily agrees. I know how excited she is that he’s finally free of Layla, but I hope she’s not setting herself up for disappointment. “What are you guys drinking tonight?” she asks.
“Only the best for a breakup—tequila, tonic and lime. Would you ladies care for one?” He lifts the bottle from the ice, ready to fill two more glasses.
Cici pushes her glass toward him as I shake my head. “No thanks. I’ll start with prosecco.” Thank goodness Cici told me the drinks are on them tonight. Otherwise, I’d be stuck with cheap beer.
Jackson waves the waitress over, and I order while Braden makes Cici her drink. “Hey, Jackson, thanks for getting us in tonight. That was nice of you.” I’m awkwardly trying to pull the dress down past my upper thigh. Cici insisted I wear this short, dark blue, curve-hugging dress, telling me, “It makes your chest pop and your legs go on forever.” She’s full of it, but sometimes you have to agree to get her mouth to stop moving.
“This one”—Jackson pats Cici on the head—“was relentless. She wouldn’t take no for an answer and said it was the only thing she would ask of me until next year.”
“No way! Cici wouldn’t accept no? I find that so hard to believe!” I say sarcastically, putting my hand over my chest.
“Yep, you know Cici—when she wants something, she gets it. If only we could all be like that.” He contemplates for a moment before he slaps Braden on the back. “It was perfect timing anyways since someone here needed a bit of a distraction.”
“Dude, this is great. Look at that dance floor and all it has to offer. If this can’t cure a broken heart, I don’t know what will. Thanks for getting us out tonight, Cici. I, for one, am grateful. Cheers!” Braden holds his glass up, and we all follow, toasting to Cici. She’s blushing like crazy of course. Good for her that she has her chance. Maybe one day I’ll get mine.
“Who’s ready to join me on the dance floor?” Braden asks right after we all take a sip. This level has another dance floor, so we don’t have to go far.
“Oh, me for sure! Come on, Lily, let’s go.” Cici tugs my arm as she gets up. Pulling out of her grasp, I quickly down my glass of prosecco, then rush to catch up.
It’s packed. Everybody is glistening with sweat and bumping into one another. I try my best to keep from touching anyone and stay within our small circle, but soon Braden has two girls surrounding him, separating us, and Cici has a couple of guys vying for her attention as well. Suddenly, I feel someone behind me, and I turn around to see a guy smiling, tilting his head in question. I smile back shyly, reminding myself what Cici said. Just because I put myself out there doesn’t mean I have to sleep with anyone. I dance with a few inches between us for a while, but he’s slowly closing the distance. The guy is good-looking and smells great, but he isn’t the one I want to be with. This is the problem being here with Jackson—he’s all I think about. Ugh.
Suddenly, Mr. Smooth Move’s hands are on either side of my hips, holding me close. I can feel his package against my stomach. Gross. I try to pull back a bit, but he’s holding me tight. He leans his head toward my neck, and I push him, forcing him to release me. After breaking free, I decide to leave the dance floor for another drink. Cici seems happy with both guys grinding on her, so I leave her alone.
I return to the table and find Jackson talking with a beautiful blonde. It doesn’t surprise me; there’s never a shortage of gorgeous women throwing themselves at him, and he’s usually not batting them away. Jackson is dreamy with his bodyguard physique. He’s worked hard in the gym habitually since his high school football days. He also inherited the family genes of blond hair, blue eyes and a face that makes you want to stare at it for days—something I had to train myself not to do early on. He’s a model for all women’s wet dreams.
