Chrysalis, p.14
Chrysalis, page 14
When I came into the kitchen, Devin was leaning against the sink. He was still dressed in work attire—charcoal slacks, a white button-down with the sleeves pushed up to the elbows, and red suspenders. He was checking something on his phone, a glass of wine at his elbow. Judging from his flushed cheeks, it probably wasn’t his first glass. He’d been hanging around a lot lately, and from Gray’s befuddled reaction, I had a feeling that wasn’t their usual vibe. I guess it was hard to pee in a circle around someone when you lived twenty minutes away.
Devin glanced up from his phone, and his eyes widened. At the same time, Gray looked over his shoulder and did a comical double-take, a spoon suspended in his hand. I wasn’t surprised. I looked like I’d been fighting a rabid-ass raccoon for the last edible scrap in a dumpster…I mean, I’d never done that before, but I’d imagine it would be an all-out battle royale.
Only when the spoon dripped some orange sauce on the floor did Gray stop his open-mouthed staring. He cursed, cupping the spoon as he brought it back to the pot and rested it on the edge. “What the hell happened to you?”
“Someone tried to mug me. We got in a little scuffle. No big deal,” I murmured. “And no, I don’t want to call the police.”
He bit his lip more than a few times, clearly wanting to grill me into oblivion. “Will you join us for dinner?” he finally asked.
“No, but thank you,” I said as I limped past. I could feel Devin’s suspicious gaze on my back.
He had nothing to worry about. I wasn’t good enough for Gray. I didn’t know what to make of everything I was finding out about myself—none of it particularly pleasant—but that much was crystal clear. Gray was warmth and kindness and generosity, and I was…well, none of those things. No need to go into specifics.
As I started up the stairs, I heard Devin mutter, “When are you getting him out of here?”
Gray’s impatient sigh came shortly afterward. “Dev.”
I paused, gripping the railing tight. I heard a tiny cracking sound that made me remember my altered state. I eased up before I broke the damn thing in half.
“He’s still here,” Devin said. “He’s still here, and I can’t quite figure out why.”
“He was shot in the head, Dev. Have a little compassion.”
“I had compassion. Now I’m having a double helping of confusion.” Devin’s strident tones conveyed more than concern. He was frustrated and angry, and he was done hiding it. “How is that fair to me?”
“How is what fair to you?” Gray asked sharply. “I’m just helping out a friend.”
“You don’t look at him like a friend,” Devin snapped. “And maybe I’m tired of waiting for you to look at me like you look at Christian fucking Cross.”
Maybe my middle name is Fucking.
The tension ratcheted up in my shoulders as their argument grew louder. Actually, Devin’s voice got louder, and Gray stayed calm. I didn’t know what they were saying. I couldn’t even process actual words at this point. I just knew he was yelling at Gray, and I didn’t fucking like it. He’s not going to hurt him, I soothed myself…or whatever they’d activated inside me that was ready to trample back through the kitchen like a herd of buffalo.
I’d almost accomplished some semblance of calm when I heard glass breaking. Before I even realized what I was going to do, I was rushing back down the stairs, taking them two at a time. By the time I got to the kitchen a few seconds later, the glass of wine that had been at Devin’s elbow was shattered all over the floor. I acknowledged it was probably an accident. But Devin was still entirely too close to Gray’s face.
I heard a low growl that was so dangerous and chilling that it stopped me in my tracks. Gray and Devin gaped at me, and it took me a few seconds to realize that the noise had come out of my own throat.
Calm yourself, I commanded. Let them know that you don’t really have the disposition of a wild animal.
My mind reviewed several options and decided to go with an extra-friendly, “If you even think about touching him, I’ll break your everything.”
Damn. The words were out of my mouth before I could overthink them. But even as I acknowledged it probably wasn’t the best way to go, I didn’t regret it. From the way Devin’s eyes bulged, he knew I meant every word. Smart man.
Devin swallowed. He tried to be ballsy anyway. “What business is it of yours?”
“None, as long as you take two fucking steps back.”
Devin saw the steely resolve in my gaze. “I wasn’t…I wasn’t doing anything,” he said, clearly flustered. “We’re just having a discussion, for Christ’s sakes. It wasn’t going to get physical.”
My gaze didn’t waver, and he flapped his hands a little frantically, turning to Gray. “Could you call off your guard dog, please?”
“Chris,” Gray said quietly. “It’s fine.”
I knew Gray could take care of himself. I knew that. But whatever other was inside me wasn’t going to be happy until Devin stepped back a pinch. Only when he shuffled backward a few feet did my shoulders come down from around my ears.
I blinked rapidly, and the red circle appeared around Devin’s head. It made a beep as it analyzed his arrogantly handsome face. Threat: unknown. I blinked quickly to make the red circle disappear, mostly because I didn’t know what happened when a threat was significant. Maybe laser beams shot out of my ass or something…either way, that was a riddle I could wait to solve. I was pretty sure laser-beaming your host’s boyfriend right through the forehead was a good way to get banished.
“I’m right upstairs,” I informed them both—Gray if he needed backup, and Devin because I wouldn’t hesitate to make him one with Gray’s nice ceramic floors if he got froggy again. Gray’s mouth twitched as if he could read the direction of my thoughts, and he nodded.
I headed upstairs. My fingers itched to throw that asshole out the door. But this wasn’t my house. And Gray wasn’t my anything. I reflected on that as I stripped out of my clothes and padded naked to the bathroom, where I took the hottest shower known to man. My neck ached like fire, but I cleaned the area thoroughly. Then I stood under the hot spray, letting the water beat down on my muscles, staring at the drain.
It was becoming crystal clear to me that I couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t put Gray in danger like that. I needed to get as far away from him as possible, and I needed to do it immediately…even if just the thought made my stomach hurt and my chest ache. It was almost a physical pain that had me rubbing my chest.
But the alternative was unthinkable. The thought of him winding up in the clutches of Chaos and the old man was just bad all the way around. I didn’t know what they wanted or who they were. I didn’t even know what Chaos was. Hell, I didn’t know what I was either.
Human, I reminded myself fiercely. Whatever else, you’re still human.
I turned off the water and stood there for a minute, pressing the backs of my hands into my eye sockets hard enough to bruise, trying to physically keep the tears at bay. I’d cut myself with a fucking razor blade and dug into the injury, and nothing. But one mention of leaving Gray, and I was as weepy as a child.
I sighed and got out of the shower. I dried off haphazardly. I pulled on a pair of sleep pants and decided to forgo the shirt. I stared at myself in the mirror as I thought. I couldn’t go back to my apartment, and I certainly wasn’t willing to risk using any of the cards in my wallet. I’d gotten a lot of cash from the ATM, though. So maybe a seedy motel, one cheap enough where I could stay awhile as I figured out what to do.
Honestly, it didn’t matter where I went, as long as Gray was safe. He would be momentarily hurt when I left, but then he’d go back to the life he’d built before I bumbled back into it. As I opened the bathroom door, I bumbled right into the man himself. He absorbed the hit with a small oof, putting a hand on my chest to steady himself.
“Fuck, Cross. Bumping into you is like running into a pile of bricks.” Seemingly without thought, he traced a path across my admittedly toned and cut abs. I drew in a breath. “What the hell kind of workout program are you on?”
I’m on the I-might-be-a-fucking-android diet. I was so surprised to see him there that I couldn’t answer. I was very aware that his hand was still on my chest, and I was almost afraid to breathe because I didn’t want him to stop. When I risked a look into those whiskey-brown eyes, I could tell he was just as affected as I was, and that gave me the courage to step forward.
He stepped back, his eyes flaring wide. But he didn’t remove his hand. “I, um, I came up here to…to….” He looked adorably confused as he tried to marshal his thoughts, and I gave up on hiding the erection that was tenting my towel.
His gaze dropped down to my towel, and his tongue stole out of his mouth to lick at that plush, kissable mouth. His hand finally dropped as he took another step back. He took a cleansing breath. “Guess some things never change.”
The chemistry between us? Never.
“What the hell did I come up here for?” he muttered.
“Please say something involving my dick.”
A little laugh escaped before he could stop it. He glared at me. “Absolutely not.” He glanced down again despite himself, and as if my dick could tell it was his time to shine, it jerked a few times. I groaned, and Gray went scarlet. He licked his lips again. I wasn’t sure if he was aware, but he had a prominent erection of his own at this point.
“Sorry,” I apologized, not very sorry at all. “Dick has a mind of his own.”
“Does he?” he squeaked.
“He certainly does,” I said gravely. “I try not to stifle Dick.”
“Stop saying dick!” Gray all but shouted. After a few moments of shocked silence, I couldn’t help but laugh. And helplessly, Gray joined me.
When we’d finally calmed down, I gave him a little smile. “Okay, if you don’t want to talk about that, what the hell do you want to talk about?”
“These, mostly.” He reached out and took my hand, raising it between us. His thumb drifted over my scraped knuckles briefly, and I let out a hiss before he lowered my hand gently. His fingers brushed the scrape on my elbow next, the one I hadn’t even seen or felt yet. “And this.”
I stared at my reddened knuckles and the torn skin in silence, and Gray sighed, realizing that I wasn’t going to answer. He wasn’t done touching me yet. I held in a whimper as his fingers trailed across the back of my neck where I’d cut the chip out. “And I’d definitely like to talk about this.”
“It’s not that big of a deal,” I said dismissively. “I got—”
“Mugged. Yes, I heard you the first time.” His fingers drifted across the letters of my MAXIM tattoo. His expression told me he believed me now just as much as he did then. “I heard muggers cutting the back of your neck is all the rage nowadays.”
I flushed. “Gray. Don’t ask questions you can’t handle the answers to.”
His expression hardened. “You have no idea what I can handle, Cross. I handle things in the emergency room daily that you can’t even imagine. I handled the love of my life walking away from me without a backward glance.” He went on matter-of-factly as I quietly seethed. “I certainly handled him popping back up into my life with nothing but the sketchiest of explanations. And I imagine I’ll handle it just as well when you walk away again.”
“If I had a choice, I would’ve never left you!” It was my turn to shout. I looked at his shocked face and flushed. “Fuck. I’m sorry. But Gray, I still lo—”
“Don’t.” His voice cracked through the air like a whip. “Don’t you fucking dare.”
“I’m just telling you the truth,” I said. “And you know it. That’s why you’re looking at me like that. I lo—”
He pushed me against the door then, and I was so caught off guard that I hit the door with my full weight, and it banged against the wall. When Gray pressed up against me, lining his body up with mine where it counted, the door hit the wall again. I could only look at him in surprise, my mouth agape, wondering when the fuck he got so bossy and why it felt so damned good to feel his hard cock grinding against my stomach.
He kissed me then, so hard and forceful that my lip ground against my teeth. I knew the smart thing to do would be to pull back, and I contemplated that for about two nanoseconds…but then he was done assaulting my mouth and started licking at my lips. He bit the bottom one gently, wordlessly asking for entry, and I had no choice but to comply. I’d moved a few inches away from the door, and he backed me up against it again. He slipped eager hands inside my sagging pants and gripped my ass possessively. I could only manage a soft, “Oh fuck,” before we were grinding against each other roughly.
He broke the kiss first, his mouth trailing down my jaw with soft, barely there kisses. “Doesn’t seem like anything should feel this good, should it?” he murmured against my skin.
“Not anything legal, no,” I managed. And then because I could never leave well enough alone, I asked, “What about Devin?”
Just as quickly as it had come on, whatever haze that had taken possession of him faded. He let go of me gently and stepped a few feet away. It took him a few seconds to get his breathing under control. “Devin is none of your concern.”
“He is if we’re going to fuck.”
“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing that we’re not going to fuck,” he said briskly. “Sorry I jumped all over you.”
And before I knew it, he was the untouchable Grayson Laurie again. It was a little fascinating, watching him find that legendary control of his. But for his slightly pinkened cheeks, I couldn’t tell he’d been mauling me against a door so hard that he’d bitten my lip.
“He’s not in the house anymore,” I pressed. I would’ve heard his heartbeat, even on another floor. My senses were increasing in leaps and bounds—yet another thing I was trying not to worry about. If Devin was anywhere in the house, I would’ve known. Just like I knew Gray would’ve never kissed me like that if he was still dating someone else.
“You broke up,” I surmised.
He didn’t confirm nor deny, but his face told me everything I needed to know. “I came up here for a specific reason.” He gestured past me at the toilet. “Sit. I’m going to bandage you up.”
To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t too worried about my injuries. If a couple of scraped knuckles was all I got from playing leapfrog across apartment buildings, I’d take them every day of the week. But if sitting got me more touches from Gray, then I was all about it. I obediently closed the toilet lid and sat.
“I also need a new rubber band,” I informed him. My old one had gotten blood on it.
He made a sound of amusement. “They’re not special. I have a pack of 500 in this drawer.”
Yes, but you have to give it to me. I didn’t bother to explain what was so obvious. He shook his head and dug around in the drawer until he found the pack. He handed it to me, and I slipped it on my wrist.
I watched his ass unabashedly as he bent to open the cupboard door under the sink. There were bandages of every type and color, and I chuckled softly. “It looks like a CVS down there.”
He shrugged unapologetically, pulling out several creams and a few different types of bandages. “Well, I am a doctor.”
He tended to my cuts and scrapes with professionalism but unmistakable gentleness. He warned me softly sometimes that something was going to sting or feel “not so great,” but I could care less. Mostly, I used the opportunity to stare up at him the entire time. He was so damned gorgeous; it was hard to look away.
“I’m sorry about you and Devin,” I said.
He stiffened slightly before applying antiseptic on my elbow. It burned like a sonofabitch, and I hissed, which made that sadistic fucker’s mouth quirk upwards. “I’m not,” he finally said. “It’s been a long time coming.”
“Still. Breaking up is always hard to do.”
You should know. He didn’t say it, but it was written all over his face. I tsked, and his cheeks pinkened. We both wound up laughing. “It’s your damn fault you know me so fucking well,” he said. “There’s an all-night pharmacy a couple of blocks away, you know. I can get you something for the pain.”
“I don’t need it,” I said automatically.
“That’s right,” he said with a faint smile. “I forgot you were a tough guy.”
I didn’t dignify that with an answer. His touch was gentle as he applied some sort of white cream on my elbow scrape. “You’re a good doctor,” I said.
His faint smile grew. “I know.”
He leaned over me so he could apply a bandage to the back of my neck, and I inhaled deeply, my nose pressed against his shirt, smelling his scent. When he pulled back, it was a struggle not to grab him and pull him back into me again.
“There,” he finally said. “That should do it.”
He looked down at me with a little smile that faded at the intensity of my gaze. He cleared his throat and looked away as he started putting things away. “Thanks, Doc,” I said.
“No problem, tough guy. And just so you know, I used a Sesame Street bandage on the back of your neck.”
“What?” I exclaimed. How the hell was I going to intimidate anyone with a Big Bird bandage on my fucking neck? I started to stand so I could look in the mirror, but he chuckled. I scowled at him.
“Clear and flexible,” he said. “I’m just fucking with you.”
His pager went off, and he glanced at it. That sound could wake him out of a sound sleep—by now, the response was Pavlovian. “Shit. I’ve got to go back in.”
“You’ve been there all day,” I said stupidly.
I wasn’t aware how much I lived for my nights with Gray—his cautious laughter and caring smiles when he forgot he was supposed to hate me. I realized that was stupid because clearly, the hospital needed his help. Talk about selfishness. Hey, would you mind dying quietly because I’d like to watch old reruns on the couch with your doctor?
