A different shade of blu.., p.13
A Different Shade of Blue: Rust Book 2, page 13
Bryson got to his feet, shaking his head in disgust. “Really? That’s the threat you make? You’re not worried about losing the only kid you have left; you just care about how you’ll get back at me over it. You’re a real piece of work, Dad, and I’m done with this. You can call and tell Mom whatever you want, but I’m gone. Eat your damn dinner alone and think about it long and hard. Think about how I’m the last person on this earth you had left to care about you, but your desire to always be right and have the upper hand matters more. Think about how much that will matter down the road when you need someone and there isn’t anybody left.”
Stalking back to the bedroom, Bryson got his stuff thrown back into his bag and then stumbled into the hall to get his shoes back on. He slammed the door hard on his way out, getting right back into the car less than two hours after arriving. He’d have to stop for gas soon, but that didn’t seem like something to care about at the moment. All he cared about was getting out of Savannah and as far as possible from his father.
He’d been on the road about fifteen minutes when his mother called, but he denied it, throwing his phone into the passenger seat. He stopped a little while later for gas and a sandwich, just ready to get back home to Atlanta.
It was nearly eight that night when he turned onto Aidan’s street, pulling up in front of his house. In the driveway, he noticed a familiar-looking red VW bug, and something in him began to stir and churn. He was just sitting there, thinking about what to do, when the front door swung open. He saw two people silhouetted against the hallway light and then they came into focus, and that feeling in him grew stronger.
There stood Colleen with a bright smile on her face, saying goodbye to Aidan who looked just as happy as she did. They were talking animatedly, Aidan waving his hands around in the air before Colleen reached out and took one in her hand. He paused as she said something else, and then they both laughed again, and that was when Bryson pulled away from the curb with a squeal of the tires, eyes blurry with tears for the second time that day.
How had this happened? How had everything gone so wrong all at once? He would not only be alone on Thanksgiving now, but he had no dinner to eat and nothing at home to even prepare one. Then there was the fact that his supposed best friend had moved in on yet another guy he liked, and what was worse was that this guy had supposedly liked him back. What had he done for them both to betray him like this? Was he that bad of a person?
By the time he reached home, his mom had called three more times, and he was outright crying, putting the car in park as he broke down. He rested his head on the wheel as he sobbed it out, breathing so hard he thought he might heave. Once calm, he would eventually make his way inside and call his mother back, working out a deal where he agreed to stay home until she could return early on Friday, and she would order him a takeout Thanksgiving meal from the local diner until they could make something better over the weekend. He agreed and promised to tell her about the trip to Savannah when she got home and told her to have a great time and not to worry about him.
Eventually, he ate a frozen dinner and fell asleep on the sofa, wishing the whole thing was over and done with already. It wasn’t exactly like he had much to be thankful for, anyway.
Chapter Fourteen
Bryson didn't tell Colleen or Aidan that he was home instead of at his father's house, eating his ordered-in Thanksgiving dinner alone in front of the television. On Friday, his mother came home in the early evening as promised, cutting her trip short to keep him company. Neither of them did any shopping that day, wanting to avoid the insanity, but they decided to venture out on Saturday. It was a tradition for them to do their Christmas shopping together, and his mother thought they could both use a little retail therapy. He wasn't so sure about that, but it sounded better than sitting around the house for the third day in a row.
They went to the local mall, circling the lot twice before finding a parking spot near the movie theater. With lists in hand, they plunged into the fray, heading in through the back entrance of one of the large department stores. There was nothing they needed there, so they passed on through the store, which dumped them out near the food court. This was the point where they were forced to split up, not able to shop for one another while the other was present. They agreed to meet up in front of the pretzel place in two hours, his mother heading off down the corridor, leaving him to study the map and decide his next move.
He was trying to figure out the best plan of action and which stores to hit first and how to work his way back when he saw someone familiar out of the corner of his eye. Turning his head, he spotted Colleen in her favorite bright pink coat, carrying several shopping bags and looking down at her cell phone. Walking beside her was Aidan, a plaid scarf draped around his neck and carrying his singular shopping bag. That same feeling from Wednesday crept back into his gut, and his mouth suddenly felt like he'd stuffed it full of sawdust. He heavily considered turning to run. He changed his mind though as they continued to walk his way, neither of them noticing him.
It was right then and there that Bryson made a last moment decision. Instead of fleeing, he followed them, keeping a few paces behind. They stopped twice to look in storefronts before continuing on, seeming to head somewhere with purpose. That place turned out to be Victoria's Secret, where Colleen reached out to grab Aidan's shoulder and pull him to a halt. He immediately shook his head and blushed, but she was beaming, begging him to come in with her for just a few minutes. While they were stalled, Bryson quickly approached, his anger written all over his face. He was not the type to lash out or confront people, but something in him had snapped and he couldn’t hold back.
“Hey, assholes.”
Both of them looked up at his greeting, and both of them looked supremely confused. It was Aidan who finally smiled though, which was such a laugh. Was he smiling because he'd gotten caught? Or was he smiling because he thought Bryson was too stupid to figure it out?
“Nice greeting, really charming,” he joked, reaching out for Bryson's wrist. His expression changed when the Bryson jerked away though, mouth falling into a frown. “What's wrong?”
“What's wrong? Seriously?” Bryson asked, eyes darting between them. “What's wrong is that I saw her at your house on Wednesday night. I was parked out front, but you two were too into one another to see me. Then I come here to shop with my mom today, and you're here too, together again and looking pretty happy about it. You two didn't have to wait for me to go to Savannah, you know. You could have just told me and spared me the agony of catching you.”
Colleen made a noise of indignation, shifting all her bags to one hand so she could use the other to poke Bryson hard in the chest. “First of all, when did you even get home? You weren't supposed to come back until tomorrow! Second of all, you are so wrong it would almost be funny if it wasn't so sad and also rage-inducing. You think we'd do that to you, Bryson? I felt bad enough about Pete, and I didn't even know about that until I had already broken up with him! Despite the fact that this is utterly ridiculous, and to clear both of our good names, if you really must know we’re here because of you. Aidan came to me weeks ago asking me to help him find you a birthday present, and this is the only time we could do it. You're always around, and we wanted it to be a surprise. There, are you happy? God, you're such a jerk!”
Whirling around to face Aidan, she flipped her hair back over her shoulder and pursed her lips. “I'm going to get a hot chocolate and flirt with the cute guy that works at the cookie place. You two talk it out and then come find me so we can finish up. I'll wait for you.”
Bryson watched her go, feeling the heat creeping from his neck up into his face. He felt suddenly stupid, especially when he saw the hurt look on his boyfriend's face. He hadn’t known shame quite like this before, scuffing the toe of his high-top sneaker against the tile floor. “I’m sorry, Aidan. Really, really sorry, and I mean that. I’ve just been so emotional and seeing you two together I just assumed the worst because the worst seems to be the new normal lately. I should have known better.”
“Yeah, you should have. I mean I get that we’ve just been doing this casual thing for a little while, and I know we’re still getting to know one another, but even if you didn’t trust me, you should have at least trusted Colleen,” Aidan chided him, sighing a little before he reached out and took Bryson’s hand. “Come on. Let’s go sit somewhere.”
It was scary, but also a little exhilarating to be holding hands in a public place like this. They could run into people they knew, Bryson’s mother even, but he found that he didn’t mind that idea. He was tired of being someone he wasn’t and ready to just be himself all the time. If that meant being outed to everyone, then that was something he was willing to accept at this point. Not to mention, to pull away now might put the nail in the coffin, since he was already in the doghouse with half the people he cared about. So, he was content to follow Aidan, finding an unoccupied bench in a corner of the mall that didn’t seem to hold a lot of interest for people. The corridor where you could get your eyebrows threaded or take photos in an ancient booth didn’t have a lot of holiday draw.
Aidan sat down and pulled Bryson down with him, shoving his bag under the bench. He turned sideways a little so they could face each other, his hurt expression now one of concern. “Why are you being super emotional? Did something happen with your dad? I mean, you’re back early, so something obviously changed with your plans.”
“Oh, something happened all right. We didn’t even make it to dinner. We didn’t-even make it past the two-hour mark before I was in the car heading back home,” Bryson explained, launching into the story of what had happened with his father. “It really sucks, because I thought maybe we could settle the score and actually have a nice holiday. That he wouldn’t be the douchebag he’s always been, and that I could be more patient with him. When Alec died, it fractured our family that was already cracking, and then he and Mom finished it off. It just would have been nice to know I had a father who cared and who I could count on, but I guess that just isn’t meant to be.”
“I’m sorry it happened that way,” Aidan told him softly, his words genuine as he put a hand on Bryson’s shoulder and squeezed it. “I know it hurts, and I wish I could fix it for you. I also wish that you could trust me more, Bryson. Every time you see me with someone else, every time things are rough, I don’t want you to just assume that I’m doing something bad or wrong. I get enough of that from Joseph, and this won’t work if you can’t trust me on the most basic level. I know that what happened on Halloween influenced some of your thoughts about me, but I apologized for that. You said you accepted my apology, but it seems like you’re still leaning into the area of mistrust.”
Bryson sighed heavily and turned so one leg was curled onto the bench, pressing into Aidan’s thigh. They were sitting close now, whispering so the few people who passed by didn’t hear their private conversation. “It wasn’t like that, that wasn’t where my train of thought was at all. Honestly, it had more to do with Colleen than with you, because of the whole Pete thing. I know she ended up ditching him, and I know that I hadn’t told her, so it wasn’t fair of me to even be upset at the time, but something in me just shattered. Seeing her at your house, then the two of you together here, it just made me jump to conclusions pretty fast. Like I had gone away for the weekend and she was infringing on my territory. It’s stupid, and I know it’s stupid. Believe me; I won’t let my imagination run away with me next time.”
“Territory, huh?” Aidan asked with a little smirk, waggling his eyebrows. “I’ll forgive you this time, Davis, but next time? Just make your presence known and ask. It will save everyone involved a heck of a lot of trouble.”
With the whole mess settled, they headed to the food court to find Colleen. She was exactly where she had promised to be, flirting with the guys at the cookie place, and after buying sodas and a half dozen ginger snaps, they explored the mall together for a while. Bryson got a few of the things on his list, and after checking the time announced that he had to meet up with his mom. They were preparing to separate, but Bryson suddenly grabbed Aidan’s hand, eyes wide with fear but also excitement.
“I want you to meet her,” he blurted out, staring hopefully into those mismatched eyes he was starting to love so much. “Please. I need to do this; it’s time to do this. It will be easier if she can meet you and if you’re both there with me.”
Aidan was caught off guard and a little unsure, but he found himself nodding yes to the request. Nobody had to ask Colleen. She was clapping and grinning her approval of the situation which made her intentions loud and clear. Together the three of them headed for the meeting place, where Bryson’s mom was already waiting. She had several heavy looking shopping bags at her feet and was nibbling on a pretzel, smiling when she saw them coming.
As they approached, she moved to hug Colleen, then pulled back to give Aidan a curious look. Despite him coming over to their house quite frequently lately, she hadn’t actually met him yet, though she was aware of whom he was just by the way Bryson had talked about him.
“You must be Aidan,” she beamed, her hands on his shoulders as she studied him. “That blond hair! Those eyes! Bryson told me you had very interesting eyes, and he was certainly right! It’s so nice to finally meet you, honey. I can’t believe you’ve been to my house, but I hadn’t met you yet. I didn’t know you two would be here, or we’d have gone somewhere for lunch!”
Bryson cleared his throat as his mother let poor Aidan go, reaching over to take his hand. He gave it a firm squeeze which was returned, a way of showing assurance to one another that this would be okay. “Mom,” he started slowly, starting to sweat inside his sweater. “Mom, I wanted you two to meet because you see…. it’s like this…”
“Aidan is Bryson’s boyfriend, Ms. Davis,” Colleen finished for him, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. “He wanted to tell you, but he’s nervous.”
“Colleen,” Bryson hissed, his face turning red again. Aidan gave his hand another squeeze which grounded him a little, forcing him to take in a deep calming breath. He looked back at his mom, noting the way she looked from their faces to their twined hands and back again. “It’s true, Mom. I wanted to tell you a long time ago, but it never felt right. I was still figuring it out, and then everything that happened… it was just never good timing. Then I met Aidan and everything sort of changed, and here we are.”
His mother looked between them again and then slowly nodded her head, trying to process it all right there in the middle of the mall. The timing was still a little weird, and it hadn’t been exactly how Bryson had pictured it, but it was out there now and couldn’t ever be taken back. Finally, she nodded though, rubbing her hands together before bending down to pick up her bags.
“All right you three, come on. It’s late in the day, but I bet we can still get a table somewhere nice to have lunch, anyway. I want to talk to Aidan more, seeing as he’s important in your life and all, and we need to celebrate, I think. This is a big deal, a huge moment, and we shouldn’t waste it standing around in the mall eating food court junk food,” she declared, dumping her partially eaten pretzel into the trash.
At that moment, Bryson felt a wave of affection for his mother wash over him, and he let go of Aidan’s hand to hug her. She squeezed him tight and kissed him on the forehead, giving him a brief smile as he pulled back.
“You are my sweet boy, and nothing in this world will ever change that,” she whispered to him, giving him a little wink. “Get your boyfriend and Colleen and let’s get a move on. Prime tables wait for no man or woman, my boy.”
A smile crept onto Bryson’s face as he gathered his shopping bags and took Aidan’s hand again, the four of them leaving the mall for the string of nearby restaurants. They had a late lunch and answered all of his mother’s questions, the conversation light, and even fun. It was such a contrast from his last conversation with his father, where he was made to feel wrong and insignificant over even the smallest of things. It felt amazing to be able to talk about himself, about who he was, without shame. He was glad now that he had told his mother, and somewhat sad he hadn’t done it sooner.
Everything had to happen at its own pace though, in its own time. He was just glad that he was evolving, becoming the person he wanted to be instead of the person he thought he should be. It was immensely freeing, and it made the world seem just a little better.
Chapter Fifteen
Bryson’s eighteenth birthday came and went with what he considered the appropriate amount of fanfare. Nothing too over the top, but everything he wanted. He had no need or want for a big party, so he spent the evening with Aidan and Colleen at home, watching his favorite movies, and eating pizza, and cake. His mom joined him for a little while to give him his gift, which was ownership of his very own car. It was technically the same car he’d been driving since he got his license, but she was buying a new vehicle and wanted to pass the old one down to him. It worked out, and he was happy with being able to say he properly owned a set of wheels.
From Colleen, he’d received a series of obscene gag gifts that he would later stash in the back of his closet, though his gift from Aidan was a lot more meaningful. He had gotten his hands on a black-and-white photograph of a landscape in Montana, a beautiful picture with tall grass waving in the foreground and the mountains looming into the sky in the background. He’d taken it to the mall that day to have it matted and framed, presenting it to Bryson with a nervous look on his face. He wasn’t sure how the gift, or the memories of his past, might be met but it had gone over very well. So well in fact that he had gotten a squeal and a kiss of pleasure for his troubles.
