Code name omega, p.14
Code Name: Omega, page 14
Laughing, I reach in and grab a peppermint. I’d been on my way out here to see Lunar when my brothers showed up, and now this visit with him feels more important than ever. Horses—Lunar, in particular—have always had a calming effect on me. Even when they’re being jerks and hard to control, I’ve always felt in my element around them.
I unwrap the candy, tuck the plastic film back in my pocket, and offer him the small red-and-white lozenge. He plucks it from my palm with soft lips and lets me scratch behind his ears. I run my eyes over his body, and although a vet came by this morning and checked out all the horses, I want to tend to my boy.
I climb up and over the fence rather than walk to the gate. I sit on the top rail, Lunar’s face level with mine. I rub along his neck, cheeks, jaw, crest. I make sure his eyes look okay. I hop down, and Lunar sidesteps from me, acting skittish but really just playing. He waits for me to pull out another peppermint and then stands still while I inspect his entire body. I’m worried that maybe he hit something on his wild rampage out of the burning barn—a jagged piece of wood or a nail.
He looks good, though, and doesn’t appear any worse for wear. My chest aches when I think of his terror-filled screaming as the heat and flames closed in on him, but my heart flutters when I think of how fearless Kellen was, rushing into that inferno to release them all, even though he knows nothing about horses. He could’ve easily been trampled or knocked over, but he didn’t let the danger stop him.
The sound of a car engine turning over draws my attention toward my apartment. I can’t see the cars, but someone is leaving—I hear the crunch of gravel under tires. It’s only when Kellen walks around the side of my house that I know it’s my brothers who left, and I’m not sure what it says about me that I’m relieved.
Kellen comes up to the fence and tentatively reaches a hand to Lunar who tosses his head back, again putting on a skittish act. I pull out my last peppermint and hand it to Kellen. “He’s a drama queen. Give this to him, and he’ll stand still for some pets.”
I watch as Kellen holds out his palm without hesitation, trusting that Lunar won’t bite him. He smiles and rubs the gelding’s neck. “You were a brave boy, weren’t you?”
“You were a brave man to run in there and free the horses,” I murmur.
He doesn’t look at me, keeping his eyes on Lunar with that light smile on his face. I’m shocked when he goes off subject. “So why did you run from home, and why don’t you want to go back?”
Kellen’s attention sweeps from Lunar to me. “I just ran your brothers off, and they’re not too happy with me. I’d like to know what the issue is.”
I’d love for Kellen to know all about me, and now is the time. “Let’s go for a walk.”
I climb back over the fence and take Kellen’s hand. I lead him along a path through casual gardens Dr. Schoen has planted over the years. We end up at the lake where there’s a bench she placed as a memorial for her late husband. The sun hangs low, painting the water orange with ripples of yellow and red.
“You’ve obviously figured out that Blackburn Farms is a big deal, not just in Kentucky, but in the saddlebred world. This breed of horse is now bred worldwide, and our farm has a long list of champion stock.”
“What do you mean by champion stock? And how do you achieve that?”
Smart man. “You train the horses to show. You train riders to show them to their potential. You enter the horses into shows, and they win championships. Same as with horse racing… the winners produce gold for the owners.”
“So Blackburn Farms not only breeds saddlebreds, but you train as well?” he surmises.
“And show. Me and my siblings all took turns in the show ring. These days, Ethan only trains other riders, but Trey, Wade, and Kat still show with their horses in addition to training.”
Kellen glances back at the barn, which we can just see the top of in the distance. When his gaze comes back to me, he asks, “You and Lunar. You showed?”
I nod, looking out over the water. “I’ve been showing saddlebreds since I was six, but Lunar was the first I helped foal and raise. I was twelve when he was born, and I helped my dad and Ethan break him to the saddle. I was showing him by the time he was three and I was fifteen, although I showed other horses when I was younger.”
“I feel like those ages are important.”
“It’s not unheard of, showing so young, but I was what one might call an exceptional rider. I won a lot of blue ribbons over the years. I trained hard, of course, but with Lunar, we had this bond where I just knew what he needed, and he knew what I needed. It was almost symbiotic. We won the world championship three years in a row.”
Kellen blinks at me, mouth hanging open.
“I was training with him for a run at a fourth. It was the summer between my sophomore and junior years of college, and we were at a show in Virginia. We were in the ring, at a trot, and there was this girl—her name was Molly—we’d competed against each other over the years. She was very good, but that particular show, her horse was young and a little rambunctious. She came up behind me, going faster than we were. Lunar and I were on the rail, and in that instance, you pass on the right and give wide berth. I don’t know if she wasn’t paying attention or she couldn’t control him, but she got too close to Lunar. He spooked and kicked back with both feet, catching the other horse in the chest. I held my seat, but Molly’s ride went crazy, and she fell off.”
I squeeze my eyes shut because even though that was seven years ago, the memory still makes me sick to my stomach.
Kellen’s arm goes around my shoulders, but he remains silent, giving me time to continue on my own terms.
“Her boot caught in her stirrup, and she was dragged around the arena. The fact she was hanging from the stirrup freaked her horse out even more, and he bucked. When a rider is off, we stop in our tracks and keep our horses still, and it was torture watching her horse running around, bucking with her hanging from the stirrup while trainers entered the ring, trying to stop it.”
“What happened to her?” He’s pushing me gently to get past the details that clearly hurt to remember and to the worst part. He knows the story so far wouldn’t have changed my life’s trajectory.
“She took a hoof to the head.” Kellen frowns as if trying to imagine that. “We wear derby hats in the ring, not helmets. And when she was being dragged and her horse was kicking, it caught her in the head. I watched as it happened. So the exact moment of connection, I knew she wouldn’t survive it.”
“Jesus,” Kellen says on a sharp inhale, pulling me in closer. He presses his lips into my hair.
“I never went in the show ring again. I was done. It was too traumatic to have watched that, and I was scared. I’ve taken some nasty falls, even broken some bones, and every time my confidence got dinged up a bit. It’s natural. It can set riders back months in training, but I was always able to get back up on that horse, so to speak.
“After Molly’s death, I had no problem riding… I just couldn’t go into the show ring. It’s all about control in there, and I was one of the best. Molly was damn good, and it happened to her. I just… lost it. Lost every bit of passion and zeal for competition. I was done, and my family couldn’t understand it.”
“They couldn’t get why you didn’t want to show anymore?” There’s disdain in his tone.
“Kat got it, but she always gets me. And I think Wade understood since we were closer. But it was pretty much expected for me to keep going. Lunar was too good a horse, and I was too good a rider. Lunar’s sire would increase in value with another championship, so I was losing money for the farm.”
Kellen utters disapproval low in his throat. “That’s a lot of pressure.”
I pull back from him so I can look him in the eye. “See… that’s just it. I’m used to pressure. I thrive under pressure. It’s why I was a good student and why I’m a good vet. But I think, more than anything, I felt let down by my family when they couldn’t understand that I just didn’t want to do it anymore. I was broken, and they wanted me to hurry up and fix myself. When I couldn’t, it was heavy disappointment. It all felt so smothering, and the walls closed in and…”
“And you decided to leave and not look back,” he concludes softly.
“It makes me a horrible daughter.”
“It makes you brave and resilient.” Kellen puts a hand behind my neck and locks his eyes with mine. “Let me ask you something.”
“What?”
“Do you miss showing? Do you miss the rush of competition? Do you miss winning blue ribbons and working as a team with Lunar?”
I reach deep inside because my first inclination is to say I don’t.
But I do.
“Yeah… it was such an integral part of my life, and I loved it right up until that moment when Molly died.”
“Hear me out.” Kellen’s attentive survey of my face holds me captive, as if he has all the answers in the world. “Forget about family not supporting you and the need to move away. Forget your fears. A lot of time has passed since Molly died. You’ve changed. You’ve grown. You’ve established your identity away from the farm, and you’ve accomplished so much. Maybe you could have another shot in the ring, if you wanted it.”
I shake my head, ready to deny. “I’m out of shape, out of practice. Lunar’s too old—”
“Excuses,” Kellen says. “Are they legitimate excuses?”
My frown deepens. “What do you mean?”
“You were legitimately afraid after Molly’s fall. You were pushed away—maybe unintentionally—by your family, but that hurt compounded the fear. I can see why you left it all behind. But then… well, you settled into a new life. You became a new version of Abby Blackburn. Maybe that Abby could compete again if she wanted. You might have been fearful, but you never lost your love of the sport.”
As his words penetrate, I realize I’ve never really considered going back into the ring. When I left that life behind, I thought it was all or nothing.
Maybe it’s not.
“I can see your brain spinning.” Kellen chuckles and leans in to kiss me. “Don’t burn it out, though. You can ponder that, but we have a few other things to talk about.”
“Okay,” I say on a long exhale, my lips tingling from his kiss.
“You have to promise me you’re done with Levi Hellman.”
I study Kellen’s expression, note the hard determination in his eyes. It’s wasted on me. “I promise. It spiraled so far out of control, and I never intended for that to happen. I feel awful—”
Kellen kisses me again. When he draws back, he presses a finger to my lips. “No more with the self-castigation. You’re sorry. I get it. People make mistakes. Let’s move on. Okay?”
His finger still at my mouth, I nod, and his hand falls away.
“I’ve got some people at Jameson investigating Hellman.” My chin jerks inward, surprised Kellen would move against Hellman when he told me to back off. “That guy is dirty in some way. Call it a gut instinct, or call it hope, but if we can’t shut down the puppy mill, maybe we can shut Hellman down in other ways.”
My eyes widen and my heart thrums with possibility. “Like what?”
“I have no clue,” he admits. “But if there’s something dirty, Bebe will find it.”
“Bebe?” A woman’s name, Kellen’s admiration evident in his tone. It flares a kernel of jealousy.
“She’s a hacker who works for our company. Her soon-to-be husband is an FBI agent and…”
I tune him out as relief flushes through me that Bebe isn’t a potential love interest. That green fit of emotion was totally unexpected, but it tells me I’m viewing Kellen as mine.
And I’m okay with that.
“… this weekend, if you’re up for it,” Kellen says, and I blink furiously, trying to remember what he just said.
“I’m sorry… what?”
“Bebe and Griff’s wedding is this upcoming Saturday, and I wanted to know if you’d be my date. I don’t know your schedule.”
“Yes, I’d love to go. I’m actually on shift, but I know someone who can cover me.”
“Perfect.” Kellen stands from the bench and pulls me up. “Now, tell the truth. How are you feeling physically?”
I take in a deep breath. “Lungs feel good.” I rotate my left shoulder. “Still a little sore, but nothing a few more ibuprofen won’t knock out.”
“Hmmm… not sure I believe you.” Kellen’s eyes gleam as he scoops me into his arms and starts back up the path. “I think I might have to examine every inch of your body, just to be sure.”
Laughing, I wrap my arms around his neck and hang on for the ride. No part of that offer sounds bad to me.
CHAPTER 16
Abby
It’s good to be back in the clinic. My mind has been mercifully occupied today by nonemergent visits. Allergies, vaccinations, one dental cleaning, and a stubborn husky that won’t leave porcupines alone so I spent a solid hour pulling quills from his snout.
The routine helps. I feel grounded again.
But I’ve got a lull until the next appointment in about an hour. Christy ran into town to meet a friend, and I’ve got nothing but time to get lost in thoughts again.
I glance over to the corner where Bubba and Princess sleep beside each other. They’ve become best pals in such a short time. Princess now has personality, and she’s regaining strength. Kellen is an angel for taking her.
Which makes me miss him all the more. He left this morning for an assignment to work private security for a politician. He’s only been gone a few hours, and I miss him already. He’ll be back late tomorrow night, but even that’s too long.
That’s just the woman in me who is completely enamored, though I know travel is part of his job. I won’t apologize for liking him so much that I pout when he’s away.
Kellen was surprised because he was initially offered an upcoming mission in Turkey. He wouldn’t tell me details because it involves operations that he called “black” and “off the books,” but he admitted it was dangerous and exactly the type of stuff he loves doing at Jameson. The mission was supposed to last a week to ten days, but he opted out because he’s still worried about Hellman. He asked Kynan to bypass him until things settled around here, and Kynan—who, by all accounts, is an amazing employer—agreed without hesitation. It helps that Jameson is apparently stocked with dozens of men and women who can easily step into Kellen’s slot.
Kellen is still worried about Levi Hellman, but I’m not.
Two days ago, Kellen and two of his Jameson mates descended upon Dr. Schoen’s property and outfitted it with high-tech security gear—motion-activated lights, infrared cameras, alarms, bells, whistles, and all manner of stuff that will either deter a trespasser or record them in the act. They didn’t hide this stuff either. The cameras are prominently positioned and signs have been posted at the driveway alerting anyone who pulls in that they are under surveillance. They even stapled signs to trees surrounding the entire twenty-seven acres.
It seemed overboard to me, but it was also incredibly sweet. I was worried about the cost, but Kellen assured me that Dr. Schoen approved it.
That caused guilt to flare in me because it’s an expense Dr. Schoen shouldn’t have to bear. It’s my fault that the security gear is needed, but Kellen told me not to worry about it.
Those two are thick as thieves now. He handled that dreaded call to Dr. Schoen about the barn and since then has been the point of contact on everything. I’ve only had one conversation with her, that day after I got home from the hospital. She fretted over the phone and ordered me to rest.
God, I feel terrible. She’s due back in the States in two weeks, and I intend to tell her the full truth. I can’t do it over the phone—it has to be face-to-face. I have to look her in the eye when I apologize.
The thought of that conversation makes me queasy. I’m so ashamed of what I’ve done. My actions almost cost the horses their lives, and it’s going to cost a lot of damn money to repair the barn and replace the ruined equipment, tack, feed, and other supplies that were stored in there.
The arson investigation is complete, but they said it would take up to thirty days to finish the report. Until such time, the insurance company won’t move to pay the claim. If it’s determined to be arson, insurance will deny payment, and I’m assuming that is what will happen.
It doesn’t mean repairs can’t start now. It only means that anything that’s done will be out-of-pocket, and I can’t expect Dr. Schoen to cover that. Kellen’s boss, Kynan McGrath, has a good friend who’s a general contractor, and he can get a crew here tomorrow to start demo on the portions that are too ruined to save.
But I need money to get it going. I’d love to have as much done as possible by the time Dr. Schoen returns stateside.
As a veterinarian only a few years out of school, I don’t make a lot. While my education was funded by an educational trust, I still live hand-to-mouth, mainly because it’s expensive to keep a horse. But leaving Lunar in Kentucky wasn’t an option.
I have an option, though.
It’s not ideal, but it’s an option.
Pulling out my phone, I call Ethan. We haven’t spoken since I told him to leave three days ago. Kat confirmed they arrived back in Kentucky late that night, not happy with the “state of affairs,” as Ethan called it.
Big ol’ stick in the mud.
He answers on the first ring, and it’s so abrupt—I sort of expected him to send me to voicemail—I’m momentarily speechless.
“Abby?” he says gruffly. “Are you there?”
“Um… yeah. Sorry. I didn’t expect you to answer.”
“Why call, then?”
I tamp down the spike of irritation. “I just thought you’d be busy, but I was going to leave a message.”
“I see.” Two small words. A whole lot of empty space in the conversation. He’s making me work for it. He has no clue why I’m calling, but I bet he’s assuming it’s to apologize.
