Screw you too, p.13
Screw you too!, page 13
“With his wife,” she admits. Oh yeah, that pink is turning crimson. Poor girl.
“Ah,” instinctively I push away from the desk.
“I already cleaned up after they left,” her brown eyes are locked on the floor as if the mere sight of the desk brings back memories she would rather forget.
“Remind me to sort out a pay rise for you, yeah.”
She stifles a laugh, nods, and then turns for the door. As soon as I hear the click, I turn Spotify on full blast and get started with the paperwork.
The next thing I know, I’m glancing at the clock to see it’s 12:30. Those three hours flew by. Nothing on my phone from Lottie or Jay so I ignore the other messages.
Digging through the drawers, I find a packet of cigarettes and a lighter stuffed in the back of the second last drawer. A box of condoms is shoved in the top—obviously Jason’s.
Cracking open the window, I light up. I’ve cut right back since having kids, usually only having the odd cigarette on a night out, but after the week I’ve had, I think I deserve one.
I spot something moving out of the corner of my eye and see Amy’s wavy brown head poking into the room. She must have knocked, the music is still blasting so I didn’t hear her. “Alexa, stop.”
“Sorry, sir. There is someone here to see you,” she says sheepishly.
“Who?”
“A young woman. Blonde hair, thin, tried to say she’s your sister,” Amy says in a tone that says does it look like I was born yesterday?
I’m going to have to fill her in at some point.
Urgh, I hate being put on the spot. I knew this was coming but I had hoped I could escape this conversation a bit longer. “Yeah, ok. Send her in.”
Pulling the window shut, I circle the desk. My arse just hits the seat when the sound of heels clip, clop on my wooden floor. “Jessica.”
“How are you?” her hands are behind her back. She looks anxious.
“Good thanks. What are you doing here?”
She glances around, worrying her bottom lip, “can we talk?” She offers up a familiar white box with and pink ribbon sealing it shut. “Lottie said you’re a fan of Kelly Lou’s. I thought you might be hungry.”
That devious little— “I didn’t realise you two were in contact.” I don’t want to do this but I’ve no choice now. Not that I’m face-to-face with her. I take Jessica’s measure. There aren’t many similarities between us. She’s shorter, fairer skinned, different jawline—she’s blessed there. Her delicate features would be ruined by the Desperate Dan jaw.
I look at the chair opposite me and she takes the hint. “I didn’t mean for him to be there,” she starts before she’s even sitting down.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not. I still don’t know what to make of it all,” she admits. “Finding out about you, about what he did—”
“Shit happens.”
“It shouldn’t have happened.”
I sit back in my chair, running my hands over my face and through my hair. What am I supposed to say to that? What’s done is done. The man is scum, no use dwelling on it.
Jessica pops the lid on the box open and pushes it towards me, “you must be hungry.”
Damn.
She got the afternoon tea. Sandwiches. Cream cakes. Cookies. Scones… goodbye abs, I just found you again.
“I don’t want to talk about him,” I confess, eyeballing a particularly mouth-watering mini red velvet muffin.
“That’s fine. I understand, but if it’s ok with you, I would like to get to know my brother.”
Well shit. She brought my weakness right at lunchtime.
She’s obviously been speaking with my wife who is going to have an exceptionally cherry-red arse after this. The little minx must approve of Jessica, or she wouldn’t have told her how to soften me up.
I guess I can’t really blame Jessica for her father’s actions.
I reach for the red velvet mini muffin and a few of the little cream cakes that I never get at home because Lottie and the kids get there first. Biting down, savouring the sweet flavours, I wish I had a bottle of whisky in here to take the sting out of this conversation.
I swallow the cake and my pride, “what do you want to know?”
LOTTIE
I don't know how Craig is going to take it today. I know his feelings for he who should not be named but Jessica seems genuinely interested in wanting to get to know Craig. To get to know her brother. Is that such a crime? I can imagine this whole thing has been hard on her too. I mean, if I just discovered that I had a brother out there that I knew nothing about—first, I'd be pissed, necks would be snapped, jaws would be broken. I’m talking total bitch fit.
I would want to know who he is, where he is. I’d want a chance to know this person and make up my mind to decide if I wanted them in my life. I feel sorry for Jessica, having the rug pulled out from under her like that, I can imagine she felt a sense of betrayal too—obviously nothing compared to Craig's but still, the sperm donor has a lot of explaining to do. To her, at least. I doubt Craig will give him the time of day and I'm not listening to his piss poor excuses.
I hear the front door open and brace myself for hurricane husband.
Matilda must have gone to investigate; I hear her greet Craig as warmly as ever.
“Hey, baby,” his gruff voice comes from the hall. It’s happy, albeit forced. I know him well enough by now to know the level of pissed-off laced in even his ‘happy words.’
“Where’s mammy?”
Oh shit.
Matilda, bless her little cotton socks, outright lies for me and says she doesn’t know. She must sense daddy is out for blood.
“Lottie?” his footsteps scrape and pad down the hallway in a casual stride. “Charlotte?”
Double shit! He never calls me that. I’m screwed.
Sorry, Tilly, you’re on your own. Mamma has a plane to catch.
I bolt into the kitchen, hearing him gaining on me. “Charlotte.”
I can’t hear you.
He skids into the kitchen, blocking my way to the backdoor. I turn, slide, and run back for the stairs taking two at a time. That lanky bastard is quick to follow.
Craig catches me in a dive, sending us both tumbling through the threshold of the door to our bedroom.
His primal breathing is loud and husky. I shrink into the floorboards beneath me as he looks me in the eye and growls, “Charlotte.” He covers my body with his, pinning my hands to the floor.
“Oh, you’re home early,” I grin sheepishly, and he narrows his eyes in response.
“You’ve been a very naughty girl.”
“You’re sexy when you’re angry,” I wiggle under him, for comfort more than anything else, I’m almost certain that I’ve a tiny action figure poking into my back.
“I’m not angry,” his eyes flash, dark and menacing.
I gulp, “disappointed?”
“No.”
“Horny?”
“A little,” I follow his gaze to my breasts and back again. He inhales deeply, getting his bearings, “you’ve been speaking to Jessica. Explain yourself.”
“No.”
“What?”
Craig and I share similar traits, our dark sense of humour, our high libidos, and one other trait he seems to be forgetting right now, we tend to hold grudges. “No,” I say obstinately. “You have kept things from me in the past for my own good.”
I’m referring to Michael’s harassment and the phone calls Craig never told me about.
“So,” he looks between us again, the tip of his tongue darts out, wetting his lips, “this is payback?”
“This is you practically mounting me.”
The corners of his mouth kick up, “you should have told me.”
“You should have kissed me. Instead, I got rugby tackled.”
He has the gall to look abashed, “you like it rough.”
“Yeah, I do!”
Craig snorts, rising to his full height. He reaches out, helping me to my feet. “So?” I prod. He obviously spoke with her. I want to know how it went.
“Jessica will be at Josie’s barbecue,” he concedes.
“Good.”
“Daddy!” Tilly roars from the hallway.
“Yes, baby?”
“Mickey’s gone!”
I smirk at him, “you best go down and hit continue or she’ll scream the house down.”
We go downstairs and Craig sets up another round of Mickey Mouse for Tilly. I was hoping she would nap for me, I had her at the park all morning and she refused to sleep when we got home, so now I've grouchy pants on my hands. Tiffy took Ethan for a day out and a sleepover tonight because Jamie was doing her last nerve in, and she needed a distraction for him.
Ellie is gone off with Abbie and Nick to the zoo, so at least I only have one demon to worry about.
I hear Craig approaching, I make it my business to bend over to pick an invisible something up from the floor, hoping my face down, arse up pose is enough to distract him from the lecture I'm about to get.
His hands grip my hips as he presses himself against me, I turn ever-so-slightly to look back at him and ask, “may I help you?”
Craig slides his hands down my back, grips my shoulders then yanks me up, “I’m not done with you yet.”
“I hope not.”
“Charlotte.”
Ooh. The way he says my name like that. His darkened gaze meeting mine makes me tingle all over. I know he’s trying to be serious here, but I’d gladly allow him to throw me up against the wall and have his way with me. “Yes, Daddy?”
He spins me, walking me backwards until my arse hits the counter. “Did you,” he starts with a growl, “threaten to murder Jessica’s father?”
“No.”
“No,” he echoes, giving me a look that says he doesn’t believe a word of it.
“I promised to do it.”
His lips kick out in a gorgeous, panty dropping grin. Craig leans in, kissing me tenderly at first, then the predator in him takes control.
Tilly thunders into the room, “no. No kissies!” She stomps to us, hands slapped on her hips. “I only get the kissies!”
Craig pulls back and we both glance at the mega beast scowling at us, with her Mickey Mouse teddy shoved under her arm.
“You go clean,” she shoves me by the legs towards the sink, then turns for Craig, pushing him towards the sitting room.
“Tilly,” Craig warns.
“Nap time!”
“It’s too late for a nap,” I argue.
“NAP TIME!”
The sitting room door crashes shut as she locks herself and Craig away. I can hear Craig attempting to lecture her but we both know that’s falling on deaf ears.
Craig manages to escape about ten minutes later. I hear the kettle boiling while I’m working in my office on my latest book—well, on one of the five projects I have going at the moment. It doesn’t matter what I do, the voices in my head never stop. The joys of being a writer, you’re constantly haunted by fictional people telling you their life stories
“No kissies!” I hear from the kitchen, pushing back from the desk, I catch sight of the back of my husband’s head.
“I’m making coffee.”
“No.”
“Don’t start.”
“You sneaking off for kissies!”
“I’m getting a bloody drink!” Craig snaps.
“I the only one that gets kissies.”
I hear Craig sigh; I see a hand rising to his face. I can only assume from this angle that he’s pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’ll go on a time-out if you keep it up,” he warns.
“Make me!”
Ooh shit, kid. You’ve pushed it.
“Matilda!” Craig snarls.
“No.”
“Matilda. Hannah. Barnes.”
I didn’t even do anything and I’m about to jump out the window to avoid his wrath. I have to admit it, Tilly’s got some brass balls.
“You naughty, Daddy!”
“I’m counting to three.”
“Stinky head.”
“One.”
“No!”
“TWO!”
“NO!” Tilly roars.
“THREE!”
“But I’m your girl, Daddy.”
And… he’s caved.
I see his shoulders shake ever-so-slightly, “go inside and behave.”
I hear her feet padding away quickly. She’s most likely laughing like the evil genius she is, patting herself on the back for a job well done.
“So Jessica is coming to the auld barbecue?” I get up and slowly approach him.
“Yeah,” Craig pours himself a cup of coffee, letting out a little laugh as he adds, “she’s actually a little frightened of you.”
“Oh yay! I love that. I’m small but feisty,” I punch air, then boop him on the nose. I can be cute too!
“You’re not that small.”
“I’m five-six and a half, don’t forget the half!”
Craig chuckles lowly, taking a mouthful of some much-needed caffeine. “It’s that feisty attitude that made me fall for you,” he leans in, placing a chaste kiss on my cheek before turning to fetch the milk from the fridge. Clearly black coffee isn’t going to cut it today.
I hop up on the counter, watching him, “I thought it was my oral skills?”
“That too,” he winks, adds his milk, and stirs. “You’d hide a body for me?” he turns to pop the milk back in the fridge and I snort. Clearly the kitty litter thing came up when he was speaking to Jessica.
“Without batting an eyelid,” I shuffle closer to him, wrapping my legs around his waist. “Just like you would do it for me, Batman.”
I hear a door opening and brace myself for the almighty roar that follows, “NO KISSIES!”
LOTTIE
“I don’t know what you’re so embarrassed over, you have a great arse,” Craig chuckles, pulling up the handbrake and then killing the engine.
“I didn’t need the entire world to know that though!”
The holy mortifying shame of it.
I had to run to the shops before we went to Josie’s, only for me to realise my leggings were see-through under the fluorescent lights. Nothing screams shame like your toddler announcing to the world, “Mammy, I can see your bum!”
Of course Craig found this fucking hilarious when I got home red-faced and ready to live the rest of my life incognito.
The kids are first out of the car. They spring into Josie’s, she’s expecting us, so the door is naturally unlocked. It’s safer. Better to allow the house to be easily accessible than having one of the kids put a window in trying to get in.
Mam and Nick are already here. I clock a pint in Nick’s hand almost instantly. Craig snorts, “starting early?”
“Meh,” Nick shrugs, his tired eyes looking about ready to drop and stay shut.
“He did the night feeds last night,” Abbie stalks out of the kitchen with a can of 7up. “You’d swear that he’s traumatised for life now.”
“Oh yeah, they can stay up on the Xbox all night, but God forbid they give the child a bottle,” I empathise entirely. Craig will still have games nights with the boys or occasionally stay up reading until the early hours of the morning, yet I’ve never heard half as much complaint out of him the next morning as I did with the kids’ night feeds.
Mam waltzes out from the kitchen with a cocktail in hand, another Evans on the gargle, “Craig!”
Oh sure, ignore me.
Craig turns to Mam and beams, “there’s my favourite girl.”
I see the wine glass before I spot Josie, “hello, darlings!” The kids flock to her like she’s Mary Poppins, that is until they find out about the bouncy castle out back.
Matilda leads the charge, “out of my way!” she grabs James by the hand, and he goes willingly. “Bouncy!”
“Tilly be careful!” Ethan begs. He and Jamie make a run for their younger siblings and almost take Jay out in the process.
“Jamie, calm the f—” Jay stops, clocking his wife standing behind him.
Tiffy steps forward, poking her head out the window at the herd of animals making a beeline for the bouncy castle. “Calm down!”
“What she said!” Jay shouts.
I set my sights on Abbie. “Where is my little butternut squash?”
“Asleep in the buggy in the kitchen.”
George steps into the room, chuckling. “Not for long with that noise.”
Craig grimaces, giving Nick an apologetic grin before turning to Josie. “Shouldn’t have taken out the bouncy castle.”
“Nonsense,” Josie titters. “When is Jessica getting here?”
Craig shrugs, “I guess she’ll get here when she gets here.”
Mam places her hand on his arm, “are you ok with everything, love?”
“I’m fine, Kim, thanks.”
Ellie loiters by the window, “Daddy?”
“Yes, princess?”
“May I have a drink, please?”
Craig grins smugly, announcing, “she’s the only good one!” he steps for the kitchen, gesturing for Ellie to follow him.
I follow because I’m parched. Embarrassment takes it out of a girl. Peeking over Craig’s shoulder, I’m not surprised to find that Josie has stockpiled the fridge for the grandkids. Jason’s two aren’t technically Josie’s but try telling her that. She is nana to the two boys just as much as she is to our kids.
Hearing wheels crunching on the gravel outside, I poke my head into the sitting room and spot Jessica’s car slowing to a stop. “Here she is.”
It’s a stampede.
A flock of vultures, and for once it’s not the kids. Every adult is cramming into the front room to catch a glimpse of the mysterious sister.
I push past the lot of them to get to the door, “Hi, Jessica,” I go for a smile that I hope is more friendly than it is psychotic.
“Hi,” she beams, tugging at the ends of her sleeves. She must be nervous. The crowd behind me can’t be making it easy on her.
Mam knocks me into the wall as she shoves forwards, able to save her cocktail but not her daughter apparently. “Hi. I’m Kim, Lottie’s mom.”
“Abbie, Nick’s wife,” Abbie has to wedge herself in there, but she gets the arm across for a handshake, nonetheless. Her words have a bit of bite to them, message received, no need to threaten the new girl!
