Off limits the limits se.., p.4
Off Limits (The Limits Series Book 1), page 4
“I probably did what now?” We fail to notice Lochlyn sneaking up on us.
“Loch!” Chelsea throws herself at him. She isn’t always the nicest to him, but she loves him.
“Baby sis. Now what exactly were you saying I did last night?”
“Oh, just that you probably hooked up with a chick or two at the party Heath took you to.” Chelsea waves her hand in front of him like it’s no big deal, instead of accusing her brother of being a manwhore.
“Nice, Chels.” The irritation is easy to hear in his voice. He hates when Chelsea says things like that.
“Hey, Shay.” He turns to me, leaning in for a hug.
“Oh, hey, Loch.” I have to push up on my toes to reach around his neck, hoping he can’t hear my heart pounding at his nearness.
“Your mom here?”
“Yeah, she’s somewhere." I look around and notice she’s not in the living room anymore. “Kitchen, maybe?”
“I’m going to go say hi.” With a quick smile, he puts his hand on my lower back before walking away.
I turn on Chelsea. “He didn’t seem too happy about you suggesting he was with a girl.”
She waves me away, much like she did when she was talking to Lochlyn. “He likes to act like he’s not a manwhore.”
“I mean, is he, though? Do you guys actually talk about that?”
“You’ve heard the things people say about him, Shay.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard what other people say but not from him or anybody who actually knows him. Very different.” A part of me is wondering why I’m pushing. If she does have confirmation, do I want to hear it?
“Why do you care?” There’s a heavy undercurrent of irritation in her words.
“I don’t. I just feel like he was frustrated with you. I’m trying to avoid you guys getting in a fight. Again.” A partial truth is acceptable in this situation, but to avoid any chance of her noticing something off, I pick at the tablecloth on the table next to us.
“We fight, we make up, we fight again. He’s a pain in my ass, but I love him.”
“Funny, I’m pretty sure he’d say the same thing about you.” I tip my head sideways and kick gently at her foot.
“Yes, but I’m the baby. It’s my job to be a pain in the ass.”
“So, what’s your excuse with me?”
She bumps her shoulder into mine as we both burst into giggles.
Dinner’s a delicious affair. Which makes sense because the Reynolds hired a personal chef for the night. I’m not sure exactly how much money they have; I’ve never asked as it’s none of my business, but a lot doesn’t seem to quite cover it.
It was part of what threw me when Lochlyn told me he cooks. I know he and Chelsea eat real food while their parents are gone, but I’ve always just assumed they hire somebody to cook for them. Chelsea’s parents have set up a meal company to deliver meals while they’re away. And I’ve never actually seen Lochlyn cook, despite how frequently I’m at their house.
As we sit around the table sipping our coffees, bellies full, I keep catching Lochlyn’s eye. I try not to look at him too often, but I can’t help it. The thing that confuses me is that many times he’ll look up at me, too, and I’ll notice a smirk on his face as he watches me flush.
“Shay, honey, I’m leaving now.” Mom’s whisper startles me. I had been lost in a trance, holding Lochlyn’s gaze, not sure what exactly is going on as he has a gentle smile on his face.
Tearing my eyes from him, I turn to Mom. “Oh, alright. You sure?”
“Yeah, I have to be up early to open the store in the morning.”
“Okay. Do you want me to come with you?” Please say no, please say no.
“Oh no, you stay. Have fun with Chelsea.”
“Alright. I’ll be home later.”
“Take your time, no rush. Just let me know if you decide to stay the night.”
“I will.”
She gives me a tight-lipped smile and walks away to say goodbye to the Reynolds. I glance around for a clock, wondering what time it is. How have I never taken note of the location of clocks? We had gotten to their house around three. I’m curious how many hours Mom had actually put in. Before we left, I begged her to just tough it out and put on a brave face.
Lochlyn’s watch lands with a thud in front of me. Since he first started wearing it five years ago, I’ve never seen him take it off, not even to swim. I’m pretty sure he even sleeps in it. As I turn it over in my hands, I notice its weight for the first time. It’s a quarter to seven. She made it almost four hours.
Standing and leaning across the table, I hand Lochlyn his watch. “Thank you.” A shock shoots from my fingertips through my body as his fingers graze mine.
“You’re welcome.”
My offer to help clean up is denied. “We have people for that, dear,” Mrs. Reynolds responds. In all my years of knowing the family, I’ve always continued to call her Mrs. Reynolds; it’s never felt right to call her Veronica.
I’ve never been sure why they stayed in our neighborhood. It’s definitely very middle class. Even though they had become upper middle class, if not upper class. When they bought the house, Mr. Reynolds had yet to really break out in his law firm. Since then, he’d become a partner and as his status and reputation climbed, along with his income. He had quickly become a valued employee, paving the way for him to be more of a figurehead than actual practicing attorney by the time Lochlyn turned sixteen.
But it also allowed for him to have a position ready and waiting for Lochlyn as soon as he finished school. Lochlyn’s future was determined for him. There was no wiggle room. I’d been hearing about “the plan” for as long as I could remember. It wasn’t until that day in the stockroom I learned that Lochlyn isn’t for it.
The grades have always come easy to him. He scored a fifteen fifty on his SATs. By his guidance counselor’s insistence, he applied to Harvard, Yale, Columbia, and Stanford in addition to Cornell. He got into all of them.
Chelsea’s plan is a little less set. Cornell is again part of the equation. But once she gets there, she has choices. A list of certain choices set by her parents, but a choice nonetheless. Any time their plans were brought up, it made me ever thankful for my parents.
Breaking me from my reverie, Chelsea pulls on my arm. “Let’s go in the living room.”
Lochlyn follows, flopping onto the end of the couch, his feet on the coffee table, as he stretches his arm down the side. Grabbing the remote, he flips on the TV, finding a football game. The scene is familiar; it’s the one I’ve always seen coming over after dessert. Most years, he has stayed until about nine and then left to see Heath and Jay, his best friends since childhood.
“Hey, Loch, you seeing Heath and Jay tonight?” For a second, I wonder if I said something out loud or if Chelsea can read my thoughts. If she can, I’m in big trouble.
“Not this year. Jay went to Bri’s and Heath’s crazy cousin came to visit.” His attention doesn’t leave the TV and his words come out low, as though he barely puts any effort into saying them.
“Mom and Dad won’t let me leave to see Brendan.” Chelsea’s leaning around me as I sit in the middle.
His brows furrow. “Who?”
“Brendan. The boyfriend that you’ve met like a hundred times. Really, Lochlyn?” She looks at me like she thinks he’s crazy. It’s arguments like these that it’s best for me to just sit here quietly.
“Or maybe I’ve met him a few times and didn’t really think he’d still be around by Thanksgiving.” He has a perfectly neutral tone to his voice.
“Either way. You act like you don’t know who he is or that I ever mention him when we talk.”
He sighs. I often don’t understand his patience with Chelsea. I often don’t understand my patience with Chelsea.
“I’m sorry you can’t see him tonight. That must be disappointing.” Lochlyn has this amazing way of making his voice sound sincere when it’s very clear he does not care. His line of sight never strays from the screen.
Chelsea just rolls her eyes and turns to me, officially done talking to Lochlyn.
“So, are we shopping tomorrow?” There’s pure excitement in her voice and she sits up straighter, her eyes wide.
“Chelsea, you’re supposed to be at the store at six.”
“Duh, I know. I meant after that.”
“I have to be at the store longer. And you know I hate Black Friday shopping.” Way too many people, far too few actual deals.
“You come with me every year.”
“And every year I complain about it.”
She huffs like a child. “Fine. I’ll just get Brendan to take me.”
Lochlyn scoffs next to me. She leans around me and shoots him a death glare. Sometimes I feel like I’m surrounded by children when I’m with them.
Chelsea rambles on for the next two hours. She doesn’t require much input from either of us. Every so often, Lochlyn flinches or yells at the game. Any of the other friends I’ve made over the years, many of whom didn’t stick around for long, wondered how I put up with Chelsea. She’s demanding, makes all the decisions, and can talk for everybody in the room. But she’s also kind and caring and will be there for you at the drop of a hat. It’s just Chelsea. I’m also on the quieter side; I don’t mind if she talks a lot, as I don’t have as much to say.
She sighs. A change of topic, to something about me, ensues. “Shay, I just wish you’d find a boyfriend.”
I stiffen next to her. My social life is not something I like to talk about in front of Lochlyn. Especially when I feel him adjust next to me. I’m sure he’s as uncomfortable with possibly hearing about it as I am to talk about it.
“I’m fine, Chels. You date enough for the both of us.” My voice wavers as we tread into territory I don’t like to be in.
“Very funny. I’m serious. It’d be nice for you to have somebody. I worry about you when I’m spending my time with Brendan.”
“Chelsea, you’ve had boyfriends for years. I’ve always been fine. I do have other friends, you know.” I’ve hung out with Eve a few times since the day we had coffee.
“I know, but nobody’s as awesome as I am.”
I roll my eyes at her confidence, something I don’t have. “That may be true, but they’re good company. And I’m at the store a lot.”
“Ugh, that store. I love working there, I love your parents, I love the store they built. But you’re there too much. It’s not your store, Shay, it’s not your dream.”
“You know it’s not that simple.” My gaze drops to my lap, fingers lacing together.
“I know. I do. But I see you sinking more and more time into it. I’m worried about you, for you. I want you to have fun. Find somebody who makes you happy, makes you laugh. That’s not me, of course.”
“I will, Chels. I’ll get out of the store. I already sent my stuff back to Cornell for next year.” Lochlyn adjusts in his seat again. I hadn’t mentioned this to him yet. He may be the only person who semi-cares that I make it there, besides myself.
“I know. But it was so easy for you to defer.”
“You did, too, ya know.” My defense is weak, just like my emotional stability right now.
“Yeah, but Cornell’s not my want, Shay. It’s forced on me. I’d be happy staying here. You? You want Cornell. You always have.” She’s right. Chelsea would be happy doing anything, going anywhere. I even think she’d be content not going to college and just traveling the world. There’s no way she’d get it past her parents.
I, on the other hand, have wanted to go to Cornell since I learned about college. One day when I was six or seven, Dad sat me on his lap and showed pictures and told me stories about his time there and ever since I’ve strived to wear the red and white.
“A boyfriend won’t deter you from getting to Cornell. But it may make your time waiting more fun. And give you something else to do aside from spending all day at the store.”
“I don’t mind being at the store.” My voice is barely above a whisper, filled with the lie I’ve been trying to tell myself for months.
“Do you hear yourself? You don’t mind the store? Shay, all you’ve said for years was that you never, ever wanted to end up there. You worked your minimum hours over the summer and were out the door the second your shift was over. Now, you’re basically volunteering to be there.” Every time she speaks, she’s louder; her words firmer.
“It’s different, Chels. It’s not what it used to be. Everything’s changed.” There’s a meekness in my voice, a sense of defeat. Lochlyn is stiff as a board next to me.
“Yeah, everything did change. And you’re the only one taking on the responsibility. You have a sister, you know. I mean, genetically speaking. Realistically, I’m not so sure since it’s been, what, over a year since you last saw her? Why are you the only one taking on the added pressure, changing your life?” But Chelsea doesn’t stop, she keeps going, pushing until I’ve had too much.
“I need some air.” I’m on my feet, heading for the back door before she can even respond.
Lochlyn comes to find me on the back deck, sitting at the top of the stairs, lowering himself next to me. Chelsea went upstairs to call Brendan and go to bed, or at least that’s what he says. He’s so close I can feel his warmth, which I welcome on the chilly night.
“How are you doing, Shay?”
How am I doing? What a loaded question. He just stayed silent as he listened to the conversation with Chelsea. Lochlyn always asks the hard questions. I take a deep breath in and hold it for a beat before letting it out.
“I don’t know. Fine, I guess. School isn’t bad, but obviously not what I’d thought it would be, expecting to be at Cornell. But it’s not bad. I’m doing well.”
“I didn’t ask about school. I asked about you.” There’s a terseness to his voice that isn’t usually there.
“That’s always harder to answer. I don’t know. I’m hanging in, I suppose. This time of year has been really hard. My dad loved Thanksgiving and Christmas. The anniversary of his death was painful. Logan…she didn’t even call. I don’t understand how I’m related to her sometimes. Mom closed the store and spent the day in bed. I just went about my life, thankful that Chelsea was around to distract me.” I pull at a string on my shirt, my fingers always needing to be busy when I’m nervous.
“I had wanted to come home for that; I just couldn’t get away. I’m sorry.” There’s such sincerity in his voice, it makes my pulse increase.
“That would have been nice, but it’s no big deal. Not much you could have done, anyway.” I lift my head to look at him and notice the clench set in his jaw.
“Chels said something about you finding a boyfriend. What’s she talking about?”
I give a small laugh, looking up at the stars twinkling above us. “Oh, Chelsea. She certainly doesn’t help sometimes. She has it in her mind that I need to find a boyfriend, so that all my problems will go away. Just like that.” I shake my head as I look back at the string I’m working between my fingers, my curls falling like a curtain on the side of my face.
“She just makes me feel pathetic at times. I’m eighteen and have never even kissed a boy. She gives me shit for it, but it’s like, I’m sorry I was a little preoccupied with my dad dying. She doesn’t understand why it didn’t happen before that, but it’s just not the type of person I am, you know? I’m not exactly thrilled that I’m eighteen and going away for school next fall and still haven’t kissed a boy and have zero prospects.”
“You’re worried about kissing somebody?”
“I know, pathetic, right?”
“Well, I mean, I can help with that.”
Before I know what’s happening, he has my chin between his thumb and forefinger as he leans in to place a quick kiss on my lips. It’s so fast I almost wonder if he did it accidentally, leaned in a bit too far and our lips happened to brush. Regardless, that single peck steals my breath.
As he pulls back, his eyes lock on mine. And then he leans in and closes his mouth over mine again, spreading his hand against my cheek.
All of my senses are completely overwhelmed with Lochlyn. His sandalwood scent filters through my nose, the warmth and pressure of his lips on mine making my emotions tumultuous. When he parts my mouth, peppermint swirls across my tastebuds as his tongue curls against mine. No sounds exist in the night except my racing heart.
Never having kissed somebody before, I have no idea if I’m doing it the right way. But Lochlyn intensifies the kiss, the pressure of his lips stronger, the pull against my cheek firmer, as he twists his fingers into the hair at the base of my head.
I don’t know how long he kisses me—if it’s thirty seconds or ten minutes, everything else completely disappears and time all but ceases to exist. But when we separate, I’m breathless. He keeps his palm against my cheek, looking at me intently, his blue eyes sparkling like the stars above us for another minute before he moves back.
“Well, now you can at least say you’ve accomplished that. So, how’s the store?” He moves on like it’s nothing, but to me, it’s everything.
I want to melt into the floor beneath me. I want to kiss him again. And again. And again. But he’s still my best friend’s brother. He did me a favor, taking pity on the sad girl whose dad died and who hadn’t kissed a boy yet, at eighteen. Whose best friend basically just called her life pathetic. It’s not interest.
“Shay?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry. Uh, the store is good. I don’t get over there as much with classes and studying, it’s not as much time as Chelsea thinks. I don’t know, it’s just hard. That’s basically the only time I see my mom. She’s home so late, partially because she extended the hours. It's almost like she lives there.
“Essentially, nothing’s changed. I still don’t see her, still haven't heard a single word from Logan.” I look over at him and see concern on his face. “I don’t know why I’m complaining to you. At least my mom is here, if I really need her. Your parents started leaving years ago.”
“Yeah, that was pretty rough. Especially because I was basically in charge of Chelsea too. Not exactly easy.”
