Absolutely unforgivable, p.12
Absolutely Unforgivable, page 12
I gave him a soft kiss and a smile. “You ready to go?”
“Yeah but what’s going on with Trista? She is pissed off. I walked in on her ranting about how you think you rule this house.”
I grabbed Jeromy’s hand and said, “Don’t care. Let’s go” and I dragged him down the stairs.
When we reached the bottom of the staircase where Trista was with Billy, I didn’t say a word to her. I kissed Billy on the cheek and thanked him for his help and then walked out the door.
I threw my keys over to Jeromy and we headed to my car. As we got in, I plugged my phone into the radio and started playing Bad Reputation. It was really by accident that the song came up; but I must admit it was perfectly fitting.
A few years ago Jeromy had bought up some land out near where his company was now working. This wasn't exactly big news to me because he bought up empty land all of the time. But this particular acreage, which he had been sitting on for a while, was what kept him away from me the night before. It was a deal he was working on. If the deal went through and they drilled on the land he would get a big pay day. I wanted to ask him how big. But growing up in the South we learned at a young age that money wasn’t an appropriate topic of conversation, so I resisted the urge.
Luckily for me, Jeromy had no qualms discussing such things, so when he told me, I must say I was completely shocked. If the deal worked out in the way that he hoped, he stood to make about $3 million over a period of about eighteen months.
But, he warned, it wasn’t a done deal yet. There were still a lot of little details to work out. But there was a good eighty percent chance that it was going to go through in the next three to six months.
I was really happy for Jeromy. If anyone deserved that kind of success, it was him. He was the most kind and wonderfully sweet person in the whole world and the reason he turned out the way that he did was now standing in front of me.
When we arrived at the restaurant, Debbie was out front waiting for us. I was so nervous to meet her that luckily Jeromy distracted me with talk of his work on the way over or I might have actually gotten sick I was so worked up about it.
Jeromy’s mother looked nothing like I had imagined she would. She was tall, and incredibly thin. She had long, brown hair and a natural sun-kissed skin color. I looked at her carefully. Being from Oklahoma I had known several Native Americans before and while I couldn’t be sure, I had to wonder if she had at least some Native American heritage. Before I could put my hand out to shake hers, Debbie reached up and grabbed me, pulling me in for a hug.
“How’s Nathan?” Jeromy asked his mother.
She sighed. “You know your brother. He’s still the same ornery little shit that he has always been. Sometimes I wonder if he’ll ever grow up.”
“I really thought the military would smack some sense into the boy,” Jeromy told his mother and then he pulled her in for a tight hug.
“I know, son. Me too.”
When we sat down I glanced over the menu while Jeromy and his mother made small talk and continued on about Nathan. I hadn’t been to this place before and I wasn’t sure what to order. But luckily Debbie was quick to make some suggestions of things I might like.
Debbie complimented my outfit, my hair and spoke for quite a bit on the subject of my nails and how much she loved the color of my polish. I know she was probably just trying to find things to talk to me about and put me at ease, and I appreciated it.
I wasn’t quite sure what was going on with Jeromy’s brother Nathan. I had spoken to him quite a bit over the phone and through Facebook and Twitter, and he seemed perfectly fine. Young and crazy, but isn’t that what being young is all about?
Nathan was a sort of happy surprise for his parents, who after years of trying for another child had simply given up. Then one day, there he was. They were ecstatic, and treated him like the miracle baby he really was; because of complications from giving birth to Jeromy the doctor said she would never be able to have another child. So when Nathan came around some ten years later, they were beyond happy.
Perhaps treating him like a miracle baby wasn’t a good idea though, because he grew up differently than Jeromy as a result. He wasn’t the well-mannered, goal-oriented, ambitious, loving son that Jeromy was. He was far more carefree and reckless with his life choices.
When he joined the military, they were confident he would settle down and grow up but that only seemed to have fueled his wild ways. I was pretty sure they were exaggerating some of the stories but I didn’t want to speak up about it and get involved. It really was a private family moment and while I loved Jeromy dearly and knew he felt the same for me, I still wasn’t family and this Nathan problem really wasn’t any of my business.
Much to my surprise though Debbie made every effort to pull me into the conversation, asking me what I thought about Nathan.
“Well, you’ve known him longer than me so it’s hard for me to really say. But I think he’s a sweet kid and he means well.”
Debbie gave me a polite smile and then changed the subject, perhaps sensing I was uncomfortable. “You know we’ve been so caught up in talking about Nathan, I haven’t even remembered to ask how you have been enjoying Houston.”
“It’s different, that’s for sure. But all of the people I have met so far have been wonderful. I’ve really been enjoying myself. I’ve become good friends with Mindy, who is dating the drummer in Billy’s band.”
“Yes, I think I met her before. Sweet girl. She came by the house before with Billy and the boys for dinner.”
I started to warm up to Debbie and even told her about the horribly embarrassing video that Brick posted about me on the band’s YouTube page, the first one, not the latest one.
“Ahh yes, the superstar video. Billy told me about that.”
I was shocked that Billy had told her about the video. I hadn’t even realized Billy and Debbie talked as often as they apparently did.
“They do seem to have trouble with boundaries. I reminded Billy of that today. They sometimes forget that you aren’t one of the boys and they need to respect your privacy or at the very least ask your permission before posting videos that you are in.”
Jeromy chimed in, defending his buddies. “I don’t know mom, I thought the video was kind of cute.”
“Cute or not, it was not cool for them to post videos of your girlfriend without at least telling her first. If you and Stacy are going to live with Billy then his friends need to learn to respect her boundaries. She does have a reasonable expectation of privacy in her own home, does she not?” I was beaming. I was glad someone finally agreed with me.
Jeromy shrugged. “Yeah. I guess you are right, when you look at it that way.”
“Of course I am. I’m your mother. It’s my job to be right,” Debbie replied playfully.
Wow, Billy was right. She was wonderfully sweet. There was not a mean bone in her tiny little, frail body. I don’t know why I was so worried she wasn’t going to like me. She was great.
After lunch, Jeromy and I made our way back home. While I was sitting in the passenger seat looking out my window my phone buzzed. I looked down to see Billy had left me a text message. “Told you everything was going to be okay.” He was absolutely right. The lunch had gone great. I loved Jeromy’s mother. She was a wonderfully warm-hearted person. I texted him back to let him know that it went well and that I appreciated all of his support and that we would be home soon and I would tell him all about it.
With my phone in my hand, I mindlessly started flipping through photos I had taken from the night before of the band and the girls. I smiled as I looked at pictures of Bran drinking shots out of Mindy’s bellybutton and several different pictures of Billy on stage.
Soon though, Jeromy put his hand over on my knee and gently rubbed it. “Baby, can we talk?” I stiffened at hearing those words. He sounded so serious, it worried me, and even more so when I looked over at him and saw the horribly sad but serious look on his face.
“Okay? What about?” I asked him cautiously.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I’m not going to be able to make it to the big blowout this weekend.”
Just before I could say umm okay, it hit me. He was talking about the big Fourth of July party. My heart sank, tears started to well up in my eyes.
“Baby, I have to work. It can’t be helped.”
“Can’t I go with you? Maybe I can help. I’m not too bad with the clerical stuff,” I muttered, tears now rolling down my cheek.
“No, wives can’t go there.”
Wives? That was a strange way to say what he did. What did he mean wives can’t go there? Does that mean other kind of women could go? Why didn’t he say women can’t go there, why phrase it like he did? And where is there?
I barely got a “But ...” out of my mouth when he said, “Let’s go inside and talk about it.” I looked around, to see where we were. I was so caught up in what he was saying to me I hadn’t even noticed we were back home, in our driveway.
I was pissed. How could he do this? And what the hell did he mean by wives can’t go there? I flung open the car door, slamming it behind me and ran to the front door, Jeromy chasing behind me trying to catch me.
When I got in the front door I ran right into Billy. I didn’t say a word just let out a growl and then stormed up the stairs with Jeromy close behind me. Billy said, “Is she okay man?” Jeromy didn’t respond, he just ran up the stairs trying to catch me.
I was in a hurry to get to the bathroom so that I could lock the door behind me; I needed just a moment to myself to calm down, but I wasn’t fast enough and before I could slam it shut Jeromy had his foot in the door.
“Baby please, I have to go. I have about three million reasons why I have to go.”
“Don’t baby me! And I don’t care about the money. I just want to be with you. I want you to be here with me and I don’t understand why I can’t go with you.”
I probably wouldn’t have reacted in the way that I did, because we’ve spent time apart before, but something about the way he said wives can’t go really bugged me. It was like he was trying to say that other women would be there, like mistresses or hookers or something. I was probably just overreacting but I knew he wasn’t being honest with me. I knew something else was going on that he wasn’t telling me and that was what was getting to me.
I just met his mother. This should have been a huge step forward in our relationship. But it’s not. This news of his trip takes us two steps back.
He put his arms around me and held me tightly. “Please don’t cry, Stacy. Please. I love you.” I looked up at him, still tightly locked in his arms, but I didn’t say a word. I buried my face in his chest again for a moment and then Jeromy heard me sniff and pulled back to look at me. His eyebrows creased, and he asked, “Are you going to be okay?”
A few more tears toppled out but I did my best to say, “Yeah. I will be fine.” He pulled me back into him for another tight and reassuring hug, rubbing his hands up and down my back, trying to calm me down.
“I love you so much, Stacy. I hate seeing you like this.”
I looked up at him, while he looked down on me. He had just love and warmth in his eyes and I found it hard not to believe every word he was saying. He lifted me off of the ground as he hugged me tightly and began kissing me passionately. He lifted me up to the bathroom sink as we continued to lock lips.
Our bed was only a few feet away, in the next room, but in the heat of the moment it didn’t seem to matter. He took me right there on the bathroom counter.
Eventually I made my way back downstairs. I wanted to apologize to Billy for my rude entrance; but the place was quiet. He and the band must have already been at Rowdy’s for their gig.
Chapter 10 - Happy 4th of July
The next morning I got up early to see Jeromy off. Before leaving he told me he left me some money on the nightstand. While I appreciated the sentiment, it still for some reason, made me feel kind of cheap and dirty, considering what we had just done the night before in the bathroom. It didn’t sit well with me how easily he just threw money at problems and expected them to go away.
However, today’s problem was mine, and my not wanting him to leave. But it’s too late; he is gone and I’m alone. I became overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness and despair.
Then for some reason my mind flashed to him saying he left me money and I got agitated. Sometimes Jeromy treats me as if it is my job to just sit around the house and look pretty for him when he has time to spend with me -- As if I shouldn’t speak unless spoken to. Like maybe I was just a doll to him that he took out and played with when he had time and then put back on the shelf, to wait patiently until he has time to play with me again.
I wonder how long I’ll be his favorite toy. Over the last year as I’ve noticed a pattern with Jeromy and his former girlfriends. I’ve learned a lot about them since he’s still friends with quite a few of his exes. He would lavish them with money and gifts, like he does with me. Then one day, I guess when he gets bored of them and is ready to move on to the next, he helps them get some great job. He either teaches them to do what he does or uses his connections to find a good job with another company. And then they are over and he can be satisfied that they are taken care of, at least financially.
Despite their breakup, I get the feeling that almost every one of his exes are still madly in love with him and that if at any moment Jeromy was to ever even hint that he would take them back, they would drop whatever they were doing, or dump whoever they were with, and run to him. Jeromy had this way of taking hold of people. His smile is infectious. But it’s really more than his smile; it’s his presence, his aura, his very essence. When he is around, you want to bask in the warm sunlight that surrounds him. I guess I can imagine that would be hard to let go of.
I wonder if I will be like they are when Jeromy moves on from me? Will we still be friends? Will I still secretly long to be with him years from now, even after I’ve moved on and started a relationship with someone else? I cringed at the thought. I don’t want to be like those girls. That’s just sad. Just thinking of them makes me feel awful.
I shook my head as if I can physically force these thoughts out of my head. I know that I’m just being silly, insecure because I’m upset that Jeromy has to work this weekend. I know that Jeromy loves me and I know he isn’t one day suddenly going to get bored of me and just toss me aside. I’m ashamed of myself for getting so worked up over it all.
With Jeromy gone, I made my way back upstairs to find the money he left for me and put it away. It’s not that I didn’t trust anyone in the house but I just didn’t the idea of money lying around. I was surprised to find the “some money” Jeromy left for me was actually about a thousand dollars in a large stack of twenty dollar bills. What in the heck did Jeromy think I was going to be doing this weekend that I would need that kind of cash?
My irritation soon went away when I walked into the kitchen and Mindy’s smiling face came barreling towards me and she jumped on me for a hug. “Oh my God! I’m so excited! Tonight is going to be so awesome!” That girl was always so damn perky, even this early in the morning. How did she do it?
I glanced over to Billy who was walking my way with a glass of orange juice in hand. “Hey,” he said as he handed it to me. I thanked him and then went to sit down at the kitchen table. Mindy followed me, never straying more than a few inches from my side.
“I’m sorry Jeromy couldn’t be with us today but you know that’s totally okay because we are going to have so much fun without him. It’s so going to be his loss. He has no idea what he is going to miss.”
Mindy is normally a sweet girl and very cheerful, but something about this whole thing didn’t feel right. It felt a little forced. I get the whole bright-eyed and bushy-tailed thing, but this was something else altogether. I looked over to Billy, who by now was leaning against the kitchen counter, drinking coffee. He didn’t say anything; he just shrugged and looked back down to the ground.
Mindy didn’t stop talking the whole time. “So you know that lady who did our hair and makeup at Rick’s before?”
I nodded letting her know I remembered who she was speaking of but I didn’t get a chance to actually say anything because Mindy was so excited she didn’t take more than a breath before continuing on.
“Well I got her card that night and gave her a call and set up an appointment for us to go see her today so she can do our hair and makeup. Isn’t that a great idea? But if we don’t hurry we are going to be late. Oh my God, this is going to be so much fun!”
Mindy led me upstairs to find something to wear and then we were off to meet this makeup lady. When we got there the makeup lady asked if we had anything in mind but I really didn’t. She told me not to worry. She had something that would be perfect. Trusting that she knew better than I did about hair and makeup, I relaxed and let her take charge.
