The view, p.15
The View, page 15
Their family and friends had noticed the change too. While they gave advice, it fell on deaf ears. She’d tried everything they’d suggested, but it didn’t stop the landslide that their marriage was on. It was like sand slipping through their fingers. Even though Karli felt bad about her marriage and hated that it was on a downward slope, she couldn’t say that she missed it. Her heart beat for Hudson, and she knew that the moment she chose to truly give in to those feelings, divorce was imminent. What kept her there, in her marriage? Her upbringing, her unwillingness to accept failure and, most of all, the fact that she didn’t want to hurt Michael. Although those were good reasons, she knew that eventually, those reasons wouldn’t be enough.
Together, Karli and Michael went through the motions of marriage without acknowledging that that was all it was. The fights, the limited conversations, and the absence of an emotional connection between them loomed above, and they were just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
And now Karli was stuck taking part in a weekend that Michael had planned, and engaging in a pretense of caring, because she certainly wanted no part of it. She was too tired to deal with the fakeness.
For the fifth time, Karli glanced at her cell phone, while everyone sat around laughing, joking, listening to music, and playing card games. Michael’s parents had come up for a visit, so they all had convened at Karli’s parents’ house for a Super Bowl party. Everyone was there, from their parents to their friends, and even some colleagues from Michael’s and Karli’s firms. The only person not in attendance was the one person Karli desperately wanted to see—Hudson. He’d been out of town on business for three days, and she desperately needed to hear his voice and be in his presence. He kept her grounded, and being without him left her on edge, with a bad attitude. She needed him to be able to stomach this sham of a party. She was trying to keep her best face on, but this was irritating her, and missing Hudson was only fueling her irritation.
“You’re going to burn a hole into that phone,” Karli’s mom told Karli as she walked into the kitchen to replenish a bowl of chips.
Karli jumped. “Mama, you scared me.”
She shook her head. “Whenever I said that, my grandmother used to tell me, ‘Then stop doing wrong.’” She laughed, but Karli didn’t find it amusing. “I was going to give you the other bowl, but it’s taking you forever to come back, and now I see why. You’re hovering over the phone.”
Karli giggled nervously. “It’s just some work stuff that I need to handle.”
Her mother waved her off. “It can wait. Enjoy your family and friends, Karli. This is our time, not McCallan and Associates’.”
Just then, Michael entered the kitchen, and he hugged Karli from behind. “Tell her again, Mama. For the past two months, I’ve been telling her the same thing. She’s the hardest-working woman I know. She’s always at the office, in her home office, or out on business. I love the pay, but I need someone to talk her into slowing down a bit.”
“Yes, slow down, honey. My baby boy needs his wife, and eventually, we’re going to need some grandchildren around here,” Michael’s mother joked as she and Catrina entered the kitchen.
An awkward silence immediately fell over the kitchen. No one had told Michael’s mother the details about why their marriage was strained, and bringing children up again was like reopening a fresh wound. The heat radiating off Karli could be felt miles away.
Karli cleared her throat. “Mama Carol, kids will come one day, when both Michael and I are ready to have them.” She paused. “Excuse me,” she said rather bluntly before she grabbed her phone and exited the kitchen.
“Did I say something wrong?” Mama Carol asked.
Michael patted his mother’s shoulder. “No, you didn’t. Excuse me,” he said, and then he went to find Karli. He found her pacing upstairs, in a guest bedroom.
“You wanna explain what the hell that was about?” he snapped. “I get it, but you didn’t have to come at my mother like that.”
Karli stopped pacing and flung her hands up. “What the fuck is this? Gang up on Karli day?”
Michael paused, taken aback by her level of anger and her words. “What’s gotten into you?” he asked, in confusion. “This isn’t you. Lately, you’ve been so disconnected, and when you are here, you’re distant. You haven’t been to church since before Thanksgiving. We haven’t had sex since before Christmas, and the only real conversations we have consist of smart comments and arguments. That’s why I wanted to have this family day. I was hoping that it could pull us back together again.” He walked up close to her with pleading eyes. “We’re sinking, Karli, and if we don’t come up for air soon, our marriage will drown. How can we save us?”
Karli’s phone lightly vibrated in her pants pocket, and she resisted the urge to check it. Looking up at Michael, she shook her head, with sadness etched in her eyes. “I don’t even know if we can,” she admitted and walked toward the door. “I’m sorry for disrespecting your mother,” she threw over her shoulder.
Devastated, Michael turned to face her. “Karli,” he called out, his voice laden with emotion. She didn’t turn to face him, as she could feel the emotion coming from him. “Then why are we even trying?”
Faintly, she said, “I don’t know,” and walked out of the room.
Michael stood in the guest bedroom and began to break down. In his heart, he loved Karli, but he could virtually feel their separation happening, and he didn’t know how to stop it. Silently, he wept for a marriage that he knew was no longer there. As his tears subsided, he kneeled down on one knee and put his head down in reverence.
“God, I know you’re real. I know it. Please help me. Reveal to me what I need to know to help us both. Please help me save my marriage.”
He stood and wiped his eyes. There was no need for a long prayer. He’d talked to God numerous times about his marital problems, but today he needed a straight-up and direct prayer, which he hoped reached heaven.
He went back downstairs, looked in the living room, and found members of his family sitting there, with concerned looks on their faces. He looked around and didn’t see his wife. “Where is Karli?”
Karli’s mother shrugged. “We don’t know. She said she needed some fresh air and left.”
“Without you guys?” he asked, looking over at Catrina and Jessica.
They nodded.
“She said she wanted to be alone,” Catrina added sadly.
Michael swiped his hand down his face. The weight of the world was on his shoulders as he walked into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. His dad followed him.
“Son, we’ve all talked, and we want to be here for you all. Things look really bad. What’s going on?”
Michael leaned on the kitchen counter, with his head down. With sorrowful eyes, he then looked up at his dad and shook his head. “I’ve prayed, but I don’t think we’re going to make it, Dad. I think Karli and I may be looking at a divorce.”
Chapter 22
Karli’s legs danced as she sat waiting and contemplating. She’d paced back and forth for the past thirty minutes. Finally, she got up and gazed out the window into the backyard. It was a gorgeous night, as the stars shone brightly. The view was so peaceful and serene, and the more she took it in, the more the nervous energy seemed to ooze away as she found her center.
She heard the door open and walked back into the living room. Instantly, her whole world was right, as she saw Hudson standing with his back to her, on the phone, with his luggage at his feet.
“Hey, Karli, baby. It’s me. My driver just dropped me off at home. I was trying to call you back. You sounded like something was wrong. Please call me back when you get a chance. I’ve missed you, and I love you. Call me.” He hung up and slipped his phone in his pocket. “God, I love that woman.” He shook his head and picked up his luggage.
As soon as he turned around, he was met with a deep kiss as Karli wrapped her arms around his neck. Startled, he pulled back briefly, but then he quickly dropped his bags, embraced her, and kissed her back with vigor.
Moments later he stepped back and cradled her face in his hands. He could see that she was worried and upset. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
Tears came to Karli’s eyes, and Hudson pulled her in close to him. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here now. What happened?”
Karli pulled out of his embrace and began to pace back and forth again; then she inhaled deeply. Looking over at those crystal-clear blue eyes that always centered her, she saw nothing but love, and she smiled warily but confidently. After walking up to him, she held out her hands. Her left ring finger bore her wedding rings, and her right ring finger bore her promise ring. He looked down at her hands and then up at her eyes. She took a deep breath, removed her wedding rings, and placed them in her pocket, and then she moved her promise ring over to her left hand.
“I’m ready. I’m ready to be yours, solely and completely. It hurts. It hurts to miss out on someone who is good. It hurts to fail at something that was supposed to last forever. It hurts to hurt him, but it hurts more not being with you. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I want to love again. I want to be loved again. I want what we have. I want my new thing. I love my new thing. I’m filing for divorce, Hudson. I want you and only you.”
Tears came to Hudson’s eyes as he hugged her tight and lifted her off her feet. He was elated. He placed her back down. “Wow. Just to be sure, I’m not dreaming, right? This is for real?”
Laughing her first real laugh in a long time, she nodded and playfully tapped him. “This is real. I am real. You are real. We are real.” She waved her hand between them. “This is us. The us is finally real!”
Hudson barely let her finish before he delivered a barrage of kisses all over her face and lips. Then he pulled her to him by the waist and began unfastening her clothes.
“No, no, no, baby. I can’t,” she protested, pulling back. “I still have to get my belongings, and I have to tell him officially that I’m leaving.”
Hudson pulled her back to him. “I’ll buy you a whole new wardrobe, and anything else can be retrieved later, and you can tell him in the morning. Tonight I want you. I want what’s finally mine. I want you in my bed.”
Giggling, Karli bit her lip. “You’ve been waiting a long time for this moment, and I promise you that all of that will happen. I just want to do it the right way. It’s already going to be devastating enough.”
Hudson exhaled and unbuttoned his suit jacket. He sat down on a sofa chair and pulled Karli between his legs. “Okay, tell him the right way, but I need you tonight. I have to have you in my bed. Please, baby.”
Karli slid her phone out of her pocket and dialed her husband’s cell phone. When he answered, an onslaught of questions followed. When he finally paused, Karli cleared her throat. “I need my space, Michael. I’m going to be staying at a hotel tonight, but tomorrow we’ll talk.” Despite his pleas, Karli continued to deny him, and he finally accepted her terms before they hung up.
Karli sat her phone on the coffee table and turned back to Hudson. “You’ll have me in your bed tonight.”
Without a care or concern, Hudson lifted her and carried her into the bedroom, kissing her all along the way. Once he laid her down on the bed, he stared lovingly at her. “No, tonight you’ll be in our bed.”
Chapter 23
Michael sat at his desk in a daze. He’d missed an important phone call, he was behind on his paperwork, he had to reschedule a settlement hearing, and he looked like crap. His clothing was sharp, but his face told the story of a man riddled with pain, worry, confusion, and a twinge of anger.
It’d been two weeks since Karli moved out of their home . . . their house. It hadn’t been a home in months. She was living in an undisclosed hotel, and despite his efforts to woo her back, he’d gotten the paperwork he dreaded: a petition for divorce due to irreconcilable differences. His eyes watered again as he thought about the courier delivering the papers yesterday at his job, of all places.
Everyone had tried to console him, from his parents to Karli’s, to their friends. None of them had been able to get in contact with her, and her colleagues and other employees at the company had been instructed to keep their mouths shut, block phone calls, and disallow visits from any of them, including Catrina. It was as if she was divorcing everyone. Karli had sent Catrina a text at the beginning of each week to let her know she was doing fine, but she wouldn’t respond to any attempts Catrina made to contact her.
As he sat there, the questions began to grow in his mind. How in the hell did they move from Karli needing a little space to getting a divorce in two weeks? He knew Karli. She was his wife. She was a planner, a thinker, and a strategist. This sudden shift from wanting to mend their differences to needing space to filing divorce papers seemed implausible to him. Though the conflict had been building, the divorce was still too sudden. They’d been married for four years, so what in the world would make her want to rush to throw it all away, without so much as a conversation about doing so? That was what hurt. Despite five years of being together as a couple and promising each other a lifetime together, he hadn’t even been afforded the courtesy of a face-to-face conversation, let alone the privacy of receiving such news in the solace of his own home. He didn’t know this woman. This woman wasn’t his wife. He refused to believe that she could switch up like the wind on him. Something had to be amiss. He felt it in his gut.
The more he contemplated it, the more upset and depressed he became. He was fighting a battle between being devastated and wanting to wreak devastation. A raging storm swelled within his spirit. He had made a mistake, but just like her, he had tried to make amends for it and had gone above and beyond to make their marriage work. It made absolutely no sense to him that the woman who had cried and begged him to forgive her sins, who had wanted to make their marriage work, was the same one who had filed for divorce. Whether she wanted him to or not, he was going to find out what was going on with her, and they would have a conversation. She owed him that much. He wasn’t going to accept this without an explanation and a fight.
After slipping out his cell phone, he dialed her number. Of course, the call went to her voice mail, as it had been doing for the past two weeks. She couldn’t avoid him forever, and he was determined that she wouldn’t. As he tapped his phone on his hand, an idea came to mind, and he went into the app to track her cell phone. When the phone didn’t ping, he contacted the cellular provider. They explained that she had canceled their cell service for that line. He was flabbergasted. She was really making major moves without consulting him. Now he really knew something was awry.
After hanging up, he swiped his hand across his beard and then slammed his hand on the desk in frustration. “Think, Michael. Think,” he said aloud. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers. He dialed another number.
“If it isn’t my favorite lawyer.”
“You don’t have to suck up. I need your help,” Michael responded.
“Is it paying help?”
“It’s always paying when it comes from me, you know that.”
“I’m just asking because you sound angry, and anger means it’s personal. All our interactions have been on a professional level, but I’m your guy, no matter what.”
“Good. I need to find out some information on someone.”
“No problem, boss. Who?”
“My wife.”
* * *
Why can’t he just leave well enough alone? Karli thought as she sat in bed, in a huff from the conversation she was now having over the phone.
Being in marketing had its perks, and one of those perks was getting to know people in very high positions. She had learned from one such person that Michael had been snooping around, trying to find out where she was and what was going on with her.
Knowing him and his controlling ways, she was certain he’d never settle for allowing her to leave without a fuss and giving her space. Eventually, he would go on an ego trip and disregard her request to be left alone. Of course, she figured the divorce papers would be the straw that broke the camel’s back when it came to Michael. She couldn’t deny that for the most part, his incessant research was out of his love for her, but on the other hand, she knew he wanted to force her to go back to him, to assert what he thought was his authority over her.
After her call ended, she took a deep breath and leaned her head against the headboard, hoping Michael would let it go.
“Michael again?” Hudson asked as he eased into bed beside her.
“Yes.” She nodded. “He’s beginning to search for me. I don’t want to hurt him with all of this. I just wish he would leave me alone.”
Hudson stroked her hand with his thumb. “That’s why I had my people get with you about securing your information, and I’m glad you took my advice by driving my Audi to work.” He gently pulled her head to him and kissed her forehead. “Don’t worry, baby. He’s not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do, including having to see him and talk to him.”
Cocooned in Hudson’s arms, she felt safe and secure, but in the back of her mind, she had an ominous feeling that she couldn’t shake.
Chapter 24
Michael sat brooding in his office. He had put his private investigator, Ross, on Karli, and every time they had a check-in, Ross had no information to share. He still hadn’t located her or found out what was going on with her. This guy could find an ant in a field, but he couldn’t manage to locate Michael’s wife. He’d even gone as far as stalking the outside parking deck at Karli’s job, and even that had yielded nothing.
