The view, p.18
The View, page 18
Instantly, tears sprung to Karli’s eyes. Catrina knew that was not like her. They had always been able to keep it real with each other, and while Karli was prim and proper, she was also a sassy baddie with a slick tongue. She could dish and take whatever was given to her, so Catrina knew something more was on the horizon. She moved to sit on the arm of Karli’s chair and placed her arm around her friend. “Girl, what’s really wrong?”
Karli dabbed her eyes with a tissue. “Sorry. I’m so emotional these days.” She looked up at Catrina. “As fate would have it, I’m pregnant.”
Catrina jumped up. “Say what?” She kneeled in front of Karli. “Are you freaking serious right now? You got off the birth control pills?”
Karli’s hands trembled as she shook her head. “No, I never did until I found out I was pregnant, and I never skipped. Yet here I am, in the middle of a nasty divorce, with a new lover and pregnant.”
Catrina sat on the plush rug in front of Karli, with her legs crossed Indian-style. “I hate to ask, but do you know whose baby it is?”
“No, I don’t. I was with both men intimately. And yes, they both know.” Karli huffed, then drank more water.
Catrina smiled. “Damn. I know it’s the worst timing, but can I take a minute to bask in the fact that I’m gonna be an auntie?”
Karli smiled for the first time in a week as she watched Catrina beam and play with her belly. Throughout this entire debacle, Karli had never even taken a moment to embrace the blessing of being pregnant. It was as if through her friend’s eyes, she was beginning to warm to the idea that being a mother entailed not losing herself but rather the blessing of gaining more.
“Thank you for showing some excitement about the baby. Of course, Hudson is happy. Michael is too upset to enjoy the possibility, and me, I hadn’t even decided whether bringing a child into this world, in this situation, is something I should consider at all.”
Catrina stood and hugged her. Then she forced Karli to look at her. “You listen to me. I may be wild and crazy, but if you’ve never listened to me before, listen and trust me on this. A baby is a gift, regardless of the situation. No matter what, I would be excited about your baby, and you should be too. It doesn’t matter if Michael or Hudson is happy, sad, mad, or indifferent about this baby. This is your baby. Yours. You’re not discussing being a mommy anymore, as you are one. That means that even through all your mess, God saw fit to bless you with his most precious gift, a baby.” She gently rubbed Karli’s belly again as a slow smile spread across Karli’s face. “This child has nothing to do with the issues you’re having. Fix your issues, and love your child.”
Catrina’s words hit Karli like a ton of bricks, and fresh tears flowed from her eyes. Despite her mess, she was a mommy. Her heart completely melted at the thought of holding her own bundle of joy, and then and there, she knew she could never kill an actual person living and growing inside her, regardless of who the father was or the drama that would follow. She could still be the woman she aimed to be, and now she just had more motivation to become her. In that instant, she decided that the most important thing was delivering a healthy baby into this world and trying her damnedest to do right by him or her.
Karli nodded. “You’re right.” She giggled, rubbing her belly. “I’m going to be a mommy.” They shared a laugh. “Oh, my goodness, Catrina. I’m going to be a mommy.”
Shaking her head, Catrina ribbed her. “Duh! You’re just figuring that out? I knew you could be a little slow, but—”
Karli threw a pillow at her as Catrina cackled at her friend.
Catrina realized her friend was having a moment, and so she sat back down on the arm of Karli’s chair and allowed her to be, to bask in her new normal. After a little while, she leaned her head against Karli’s, and they were content to sit just like that until Karli’s phone dinged. Karli pulled out her phone and saw she had received a text message from Hudson. He was checking to see how she was feeling.
Once Karli had finished responding, Catrina, who was now lying on the floor, with her feet on the sofa, turned to her friend, eager to continue their conversation. “This may not be the best time to pry, but I have to know the details of this thing. Who is this Hudson dude that you’re so ready to give up Michael for?”
Karli smiled slightly. “Like I said, he is my client. His name is Hudson Lewis—”
Catrina’s head popped up. “Wait. Wait. Hudson Lewis. You mean Lewis Investments Hudson Lewis? The sexy white guy? One of New York’s most eligible bachelors? That Hudson Lewis?”
Karli looked at her sideways. “I see his reputation precedes him.”
Catrina sat up and gave her the eye. “Um, yeah. I am a lover of men, as you stated.” They giggled, and she shook her head. “Karli, are you sure about this? I mean . . . Wait a minute. Is this his penthouse? I know he owns this hotel.”
“Yes, it is, but my goodness, you know a lot about Hudson—”
Waving her off, Catrina quipped, “Dear friend, I know a lot about all of New York’s wealthy, sexy, and single men. Until you, Hudson was in the top five on that list.”
“Consider him off it now,” Karli said sternly.
Catrina shook her head and spread her arms open. “I guess that answers my question. You’re sure about him. And since you’re sure, I guess he is too. What about his and Michael’s friendship?” Karli gave her an “Are you kidding me?” look, and Catrina waved off the question, because she knew the answer to that one too. “And what about this Tya chick?” Catrina’s brow furrowed. “Are you bisexual now too?”
Karli sucked her teeth, giving her the side eye. “Hell no. It was a one-time deal. It happened. It’s over.”
Catrina eyed her. “Not to be a bitch, but, uh, Hudson was supposed to be a one-time deal, and we see what’s happened.”
Karli scoffed. “By all means, be a bitch and rub that in my face. Catrina, I’m not saying I don’t deserve the shit, but you’re second-guessing me like you don’t even know me. I’m your freaking bestie. How do you ask me some shit like that?”
Catrina looked confused. “I’m sorry. Am I missing something? Right now, I don’t know if I do know you anymore. The Karli I know was dedicated and loyal to her husband. She wasn’t on no wilding-out shit, and she damn sure would never give up her marriage for a playboy like Hudson Lewis. So excuse me for trying to find out where your head is at. I’m going to love you regardless, but you have to see this from my point of view. I mean, hell, we tell each other everything, and you didn’t tell me that you cheated on Michael, let alone had a full-blown affair or were getting a divorce. If it hadn’t blown up in your face, I probably wouldn’t have known about my niece until she was born. God forbid.”
Karli held her head down in shame. Catrina was right. The recent events in her life had changed her. She’d shut everybody out to protect them from the hurt of her secret, but she’d done so also because she needed it to be kept a secret. All her family and friends loved Michael just as much as they loved her, so she knew they wouldn’t understand. It was a road of loneliness that she bravely traveled for that once-in-a-lifetime love she had for Hudson.
Catrina made sense, and Karli wasn’t so self-absorbed that she didn’t think that she was innocent of any wrongdoing. But what could she do about that now? What had been done, had been done. Was she sorrowful? Yes. Was she ashamed? Absolutely. Was she regretful? No. How could she be? She was blessed to be the mother-to-be to a beautiful baby. The calm in all this chaos.
“I understand,” Karli whispered. “I know that you feel like I’m a disappointment. I know that you feel that I have changed. And I won’t lie. There’s some truth to that. When you’re growing and you feel stifled, it changes you. Now the cheating, that’s on me. But this change is a result of my marital issues and my growth. Michael stunted my growth. I stunted our marriage.” She paused briefly, swiping tears from her eyes. “I’m not proud of what I did, Catrina. I’m just telling you why I did it.”
Catrina nodded her head in understanding.
Karli continued, with a smirk on her face. “And I’m assuring you that I’m not out here wilding out. I gifted Hudson the threesome with his ex, Tya, because I wanted to give him the same sexual liberation that he gave to me. He never forced that on me. All he ever wanted was me. That’s the truth.”
Catrina got up off the floor and sat on the sofa. Then she motioned to Karli to come over and sit next to her. Karli got up and sat beside her best friend. Catrina hugged her, and Karli felt all her emotions ooze out as she cried on her friend’s shoulder. Catrina allowed her to let it all out. She knew Karli needed it. Reprimands were not needed, because this situation was going to kick Karli in the ass enough. Catrina understood that this was only the first of many meltdowns to come for her friend, and she knew it was important to simply be there to help soften the blow.
“Girl, it’s going to be okay,” Catrina said, consoling Karli. “I’m going to be by your side. This is now a judgment-free zone. I don’t care that you had an affair, that you’re getting divorced, or even that you dipped your toe in the lady pond. I might be a little jealous about the fact that you got that experience first—”
“Catrina!” Karli hollered, then laughed at her friend.
“Whatever. Somebody’s gotta laugh about the irony in this shit.” Catrina looked at her friend, and her expression turned serious. “On a serious note, from this point forward, you come to me if you get too stressed or bummed out. I need my niece or nephew to be healthy and happy. And I want my bestie back. We’ll talk it out and work it out.”
Karli hugged her again. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Catrina sighed. With a groan, she said, “You know what we have to do next, right?”
“Face my parents.”
“More like face Mama Pat,” Catrina said, correcting her, and Karli grunted her frustration. “I already know. You don’t have to tell me. I’m going to be there when you do, because somebody has to be the referee.”
“And I’m definitely going to need one,” Karli agreed as she laid her head on Catrina’s shoulder once again.
Karli hoped that Hudson was strong enough to withstand the trials that were headed their way. Neither one of them had considered all these consequences, and she hoped that what they shared was solid enough to win the war. For now, she simply prayed they could get through the impending battle known as a conversation with Patricia Fitzgerald.
Chapter 27
“I can’t believe you, Karli,” her mother vented as she paced back and forth in her living room. “We raised you better than this. And to do this to Michael! You have lost your mind.”
“If I may, Mr. and Mrs. Fitzgerald—” Hudson began.
“No, you may not. We don’t even know you. I allowed Karli to bring your home-wrecking self into my home only because I wanted to at least see who the possible father of my grandchild is. Outside of this moment, you’re not welcome in my house. Be clear, young man. I am team Michael,” Karli’s mother spewed.
Taken aback, Hudson sat down next to Karli on the sofa. He’d asked Karli if he could be present when she told her parents about him, but he had had no idea he would be stepping into a fiery furnace. Michael had all of Karli’s friends and family wrapped around his finger. Undoubtedly, he and Karli had a long road ahead if they were to maintain a relationship.
“Mama!” Karli called out. “That was highly unnecessary and plain rude.”
“Unnecessary? Rude? What’s unnecessary and beyond rude is having this sorry excuse of a friend and a man, who has somehow managed to turn my daughter into a whore of woman, one who may be pregnant with another man’s baby, up in my house!”
Karli felt like she was ten years old again. Tears streamed down her face, and Catrina sat down on her other side on the sofa and held her hand, while Hudson attempted to console her. Catrina, while upset, wasn’t judgmental. She actually understood because she knew the full story of the troubles that had occurred between Michael and Karli. Karli’s dad just sat there in an armchair, patiently watching his wife tirelessly rant.
Finally, he raised his hand. “Patricia, please calm down. I’m sure Karli has beaten herself up enough over this. She’s pregnant with our grandchild. Let’s cut her some slack.”
Karli’s mother threw her hands up. “Cut her some slack? Fine. But you would say something like that,” she snapped and stalked off.
Karli turned to Hudson. “It may be best if you leave. It’s obviously not a good time for you to be here, and I don’t want to see you get hurt or be disrespected. I’m so sorry about this.”
Hudson stood, pulling her up gently with him, and hugged her tight. “I don’t want to leave you.”
“I’ll be fine. These are my parents. I can take it, but you shouldn’t have to. Go get some food and rest. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
Hudson leaned forward and placed a supple kiss on her forehead. “I love you.” He caressed her chin with his thumb. “Call me when you get to the penthouse.”
She nodded, and Catrina volunteered to walk Hudson to his car. Hudson picked up his coat and placed it over his forearm. “Mr. Fitzgerald, it was a pleasure to meet you. I apologize for any disruptions that I have caused. Please give Mrs. Fitzgerald my warmest regards.”
Karli’s father rose from his seat and stuck out his hand, Hudson accepted it, and they shook hands. “It was a pleasure to meet you, also, although I wish it were under different circumstances. Thank you for being a gentleman in my home and for taking care of my daughter. Right now, she and my grandchild are my only concerns. The rest will work out in time.”
Hudson gave a weary smile and turned to follow Catrina to the door. Karli rubbed his back as he walked away and then turned to face her father.
“Daddy, I know you’re disappointed in me. I have made such a mess of everything.”
Her father hugged her close and consoled her as a new wave of tears began to fall.
“Don’t cry, Karli. We all fall short. We just have to make the best of the situation when it comes.”
“Mom hates me and Hudson.”
Sighing, he pulled back. “No, she doesn’t. It just opens up old wounds for her, and she’s reacting bitterly. It has nothing to do with Hudson or you.”
“Old wounds?” she questioned.
“Come with me,” he ordered, and then he began walking down the long hall to his home office. Karli followed behind him, entered his office after him, and shut the door.
He poured her a glass of water and pointed to the small couch against one wall. “Sit please.” He poured himself a shot of scotch and drank it down before he turned to face his daughter. “The reason your mother is so upset is that her worst fears have come true. She was worried about you having a high-powered position because you are so much like me. She was worried you’d cheat on Michael.”
Karli’s eyebrows furrowed, and she sipped her water. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
Her father sat down beside her on the couch and patted her knee. “When I first got started with my career, I had an affair,” he admitted.
Her mouth fell open as she tried to process what her father had just said. “Wh-what?”
“You were about a year old, and I was always working. I had a female colleague that I worked closely with, and before I knew it, one thing led to another and it happened. Then it kept happening, until I left your mother.”
Karli had to drink more water to keep from hyperventilating. Normally, this kind of news would have devastated her and made her see her father in a new light, but given her circumstances, she could clearly understand how things could happen. “But you’re back together, so what happened?”
Letting out an exasperated sigh, he looked at her. “I came back for you at first, and then I realized that I truly loved your mother and that the other lady was simply a distraction. She didn’t love me, and I didn’t love her.”
Karli stood and walked to his window and gazed out. Her mind was swirling. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Was she really just like her father, to the point where she was having an affair as a means of running from her issues?
Her father stood, walked over to her, and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Don’t use my life as a standard for yours. I was just explaining where your mother’s anger comes from.”
“Do you think the same is true in my situation? Do you think Hudson and I are just going through the motions?”
He shrugged and placed his hands in his pocket. “It’s different for you, Karli. You may have this man’s baby. That makes your relationship different. I will say that Elaine and I knew we didn’t love each other. It was just easier to be together than it was to sneak around. You, on the other hand . . . I’m not so sure. When I look at Michael, I see the love that man has for you, but when I look at Hudson, I see that same type of love. Both of them love you immensely. and ironically, you love them both.”
“So what do I do? Be with the child’s father? Stay with Hudson? Be with Michael? Damn them both and be single? At first, I was so sure, and now with the baby on the way, I don’t know what I should do. I want to do right by my son or daughter.”
“I can’t answer that, but I think you need to ask yourself who you would be okay with staying with, regardless of whose baby it is. To me, that is the million-dollar question. If you’re going to be with Hudson, do it right. Get the divorce before you jump in his bed again. If you’re going to be with Michael, you’re going to have to be prepared to cut Hudson off completely. Whoever you decide to be with, do not do it for my grandchild. Decide with your heart, for your heart.”
Chapter 28
Michael sat on his bed, holding his wedding band in his hand. The television was on, but all he could focus on was the band in his hand. It didn’t matter how many distractions he tried to create, nothing would help. It was moments like this that would get the better of him, if Karli chose to go through with the divorce. Moments like this that would remind him of the failure of his marriage. He wondered if Karli was feeling the same way. Did she ponder their marriage? Did she even care anymore? It hurt to think that the woman he had given his heart to and that he thought had given her heart to him could give it all up, as if the past few years of their life meant absolutely nothing. As if they had never loved each other.
