Taking laura a broken he.., p.16
Taking Laura (A Broken Heart Book 3), page 16
“You’re in my seat,” I say.
“I told you,” Michael smiles while looking at Laura who stares at me with wide eyes.
“Not her, you dick, you,” I tell Michael; he half stands.
“This isn’t your place, Laura is sitting in it.” I say. Laura starts to gather up her pages, not before I catch a glimpse of her stick figures. I put my hand on her ten-year-old paintings. “Don’t move,” I tell her before turning back to Michael. “Be a gentleman and move.” I narrow my eyes slightly. So he knows I’m not fucking around.
Michael pushes back. “This is bullshit,” he says as I release Laura’s pictures and sit down.
“I can move,” she says, looking at Michael, who stands behind us like an ogre.
“Michael, you’re making Laura uncomfortable,” I tell him as Mrs. Doyle looks down the room at us.
He tuts before moving and sits down at the last empty desk. “You made her uncomfortable,” he says, his face red. I lift up his attempt at drawing – a bird, no a dragon. Jesus it’s terrible. I fold it into an airplane and fly it over to him; his face turns beet red. “You’re a dick,” he says and Laura elbows me, getting my attention.
“What?” I ask innocently. I play with my lip ring. Laura’s eyes widen as she watches me suck it in. I hold back the grin at how easily I can distract her. “You were going to say something?” I say and she blushes while looking away from my lips.
“You didn’t have to do that,” she finally speaks. I get up without answering and get myself some pages and my pencil.
Sitting back down, I lean in close to her, smelling her lavender soap. “I know. I wanted to sit beside you.”
She looks at me again from under her lashes. “Why?” she looks a little like a deer in headlights.
“Because you smell nice,” I say. That isn’t the real reason, seeing Michael sitting beside her gets under my skin, I just don’t like it at all. “And you’re better looking.” I wink at her and she smiles again before going back to her picture.
I start to draw. Time moves so quickly, and the sound dims into the background. The only sense that doesn’t shut off completely is my sense of smell. The lavender scent dictates the picture I’m drawing. A deer looking up, briefly startled, its surrounding, a forest floor filled with lavender flowers.
Most times when I start to draw, the class would be empty when I finish. But I know Laura still sits beside me. My hand aches and I finally withdraw out of the picture.
“Wow!” I glance at Laura, she’s staring at the picture. “Wow” she says again, her eyes touching every piece of the image, before traveling up to me. “You are so gifted. This is like amazing,” Her eyes have that innocent wide look again and I find myself looking back at my picture, at the deer’s wide innocent eyes. Jesus, I feel so awkward. No one’s ever really paid me a compliment. Especially from someone I want to like my drawings.
“Thanks.” I clear my throat, while getting up, I take a quick glance at Laura, and she looks up at me with confusion. “
Did I say something wrong?” Laura asks, softly. Why does she sound so hurt.
“What? No, I have a session with Rose. I just realized I was late.” It wasn’t a complete lie. I leave, but the paper feels like it burns my hand. I take one final look at Laura before I leave. She’s watching me, the confusion still lingering in her eyes. I’m confused at my own reaction. It’s just a picture I tell myself. But it’s really how she’s managing to integrate herself into every aspect of my life without knowing it.
Art is a safe place, one where it’s just truly me. Now I’m drawing pictures based on her. The girl who has the ability to close me off for days and pull me down. She’s starting to feel like my new drug of choice and I’m not too sure that’s a good thing.
LAURA
I sit in the art room, not sure what just happened. Craig couldn’t get away from me quick enough. I didn’t think it was my compliments of his art that had him scampering off. I check my breath using my hand, it smells of mint from my peppermint mouth wash. I decide I could end up wondering for the rest of the day and still not figure out what is wrong with Craig.
At the best of times, he’s confusing. I never know what’s really going on inside his head. With me, he seems so nice and open but when I see the pretence with others, I wonder whether I’m only seeing what I want to see. I drop my pathetic picture in the bin before leaving the class. I was never good at drawing, stick figures were as good as it got with me. But I get the idea behind sitting silently while focusing on drawing. It allows you to leave your life for that few moments. It pulls you in and makes you focus on what you are doing.
I pass the main room only to see Craig heading outside. I should walk away, give him some space. But I don’t. Pushing open the door I walk across the room.
“Have you seen my cat?” Minnie asks.
“No Minnie I haven’t,” I move past Minnie quickly.
“Are you sure, because I can’t find him anywhere.” I hate how sad she sounds. I don’t want to help find an invisible cat but I can’t walk away from her either. It’s like a child trying to find their favorite teddy.
“Stones?” I say with a question in case it’s another cat.
Minnie bobbles her head several times. “He was in my lap over by the tv” She takes my hands and brings me over to where she had been sitting and points at the couch. “I was sitting right there, and he was beside me. Then I looked down and he was gone.” I’m nodding now but Craig has caught my attention. I can see him through the windows he’s running around the garden. He doesn’t look in and Minnie pulls my hand.
“I think he went this way.” She’s tugging me away from Craig and away from the window.
When I turn Ava is there, with Maria and Michelle, her black eye still visible through all the makeup she has tried to use to cover it up. Guilt gnaws at my stomach. She narrows her eyes at me. I look away and follow Minnie as we search for Stones. We find him near the bedrooms. She scoops him up and it looks like she is rubbing her face against him. It’s hard to tell since he isn’t actually there.
“It’s great that we found him.” I say.
“Thanks, Laura.” Minnie smiles as she carries Stones back to the communal room. I rush outside honestly expecting Craig to be gone but he’s still jogging around the garden. He passes me and gives me a salute.
“What are you doing?” I ask still standing near the door. He jogs backwards now.
“Jogging.”
I roll my eyes and he faces forward. “I can see that. Why?”
“How do you think I keep this body in shape?” His answer is delivered with a wink. He is in fantastic shape, the night I saw him still enters my mind more than what I can only imagine is normal. He doesn’t stop running so, on his second lap, I join him. He doesn’t ask me what I’m doing but moves over so I don’t hit any trees or bushes along the way.
“I’m trying not to smoke.”
“Oh. Why’s that?” I ask but am secretly delighted.
“This girl. She’s rather irritating. She’s on my case all the time so to shut her up, I decided to try and kick the habit.”
I can’t hide the smile now. “She sounds so terrible to have your welfare in mind.” He’s jogging backwards now, so he can look at me.
“She is really controlling. But she has one thing going for her.” He pauses. I want to tell him to face forward so he doesn’t fall but he keeps glancing over his shoulder.
“What’s that?” I ask already getting a little winded.
“She’s beautiful.” I blush, my steps go a little wonky but I manage to gather myself while Craig laughs and faces forward again.
“Maybe she really likes you and that’s why she wants you to stop smoking.”
He glances at me with a grin. But I’m seriously all puffed out, so I stop running but wave him on to keep going. Craig stops too. “Maybe she should tell me that because I’m starting to wonder. You see, she keeps avoiding me. So I’m not sure how she really feels.”
I blink rapidly and rub the back of my neck. Craig never takes his eyes off me. “I really like you.” There I said it. His eyes widen at my words and he nods. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
“Good, because I really like you, too.” I swing my arms not sure what to do with all the happiness that swirls around inside me. “So why were you avoiding me.”
My smile slips as my stomach twists. “I wasn’t.” Craig sucks in his lip ring but the way he does it, tells me he isn’t aware this time. He’s not doing it to distract me; his eyes dull. I hate the look in his eyes, and I hate that I have put it there. I don’t want to tell him how messed up I am, how I’m forgetting things but right now, I’ll let my soul bleed for him.
“I wasn’t avoiding you on purpose, because I don’t remember avoiding you.” I rub my chin on my shoulder; it gives me a moment to look away. When Craig still says nothing I continue. “I don’t remember you coming to my room, I don’t remember writing in my diary.” My lip trembles. “I don’t remember any of it.” There, I’ve said it. Once again I get that odd feeling of something being lifted off my shoulders. I wasn’t one for sharing. Vi was the only one. My throat aches now as I think of her.
When I finally look up at Craig, he’s nodding. “Have you told Rose?” I’m shaking my head. I didn’t want to tell him, but I know telling Rose is something I need to do.
“No but I will.” Craig’s eyes burn with certainty as he speaks. “No matter what we’ll figure this out.” His words take the weight off my shoulders and I slump slightly.
“Thank you.” I don’t think he has any idea of what his words are doing. They mean so much to me. To have someone not judge me but want to help me, is something that hasn’t happened to me before.
“After group therapy, I’ll go.” I say now with far more conviction than I felt before. I would figure this out. We would figure this out.
“I want to kiss you.” My heart leaps and I smile at Craig. Glancing around, I see no one is in the garden but a lot of windows look out onto this small patch of earth.
“Maybe later.”
Craig grins. “I’ll hold you to that.” This time when he sucks in his lip ring I know he does it on purpose. My cheeks heat up and a soft laugh bursts from his mouth.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CRAIG
“HEY,” I SAY to Michael as I sit down beside him; it’s a first to be so early. Michael leans in and sniffs me loudly. “Seriously, what are you doing?” I tilt away from him.
“What are you wearing? I love that scent.”
I’m used to compliments from guys and girls about my cologne and yeah I smell good, but with Michael the compliment is different. I narrow my eyes at him hoping he’ll move the fuck back.
“Look, I’m trying to get laid, and since you get all the luck…” He trails off with a shrug but yeah I get it.
I grin. “Sorry man. But your face is too ugly. No amount of cologne will help you.” He tries to strike me, but I jump away laughing.
“Your mama didn’t just drop you on your head, you face planted.”
He’s up now and I move behind the chairs using them as barrier between me and him.
“Didn’t hear your mama complain when I was balls deep in her.” This time I’m jumping across the chairs my hands balled into fists.
“I’m joking with you. Bad joke.” Michael raises his hands in defeat, his face is grey.
“Don’t ever mention my mother again you dick.” Ava, Maria and Michelle enter at the same time and I drop into my seat.
“Saved you a seat Michelle.” Michael is back to his usual self, the fear that I had glimpsed a moment ago gone. Michelle sits beside him without breaking the chair. My focus is on the door waiting for Laura, who hasn’t arrived yet. I glance back at Michelle as guilt churns in my stomach. It’s a very unusual feeling, but I have an overwhelming urge to say something nice to her in hopes it erases the bad thought. I really look at her now. My eyes drawn to her chin were hairs sprout out of it; it reminds me of a spud that’s been forgotten at the back of a cupboard.
Focus on the positive.
My eyes roam over her pink tight fitted top and trousers, my eyes hit all the bumps, folds and lumps that make me look away.
Laura still hasn’t arrived and I’m glancing at the door again.
“Looking for your new girlfriend.” The sweet bitterness in Ava’s voice has me glancing at her.
“New would imply I had an old girlfriend.” I tell her. Her nostrils flair and she flicks her hair over her shoulder. I ignore her as I return my focus to Michelle. Her hair looks washed today, that’s my entry point for a compliment.
“Your hair looks nice today Michelle.” I say it and silence descends on the class. Micelle’s eyes are so wide as she looks from me to Maria who mimics Michelle’s stare. It’s unsettling to say the least.
“Thank you Craig.” Michelle beams at me like I’m a God who deserves a spotlight and I find myself genuinely smiling back.
“You’re trying to hit on my woman.” The sad part about the statement is Michael isn’t joking. I flicker a gaze at him and shake my head. I don’t have to justify that statement with a response thankfully as Olivia arrives, as she steps aside there is Laura with her hair tied back and she smiles at me. My stomach flips as she moves across the room. The black jeans don’t fit her very well, but once we get out of here, it’s something I will rectify. My mind trips and stumbles at the thought of a future with her. I’ve never really thought of the future with anyone. Growing old wasn’t exactly an option for me at times.
I love the color red on her; she wears it now, a small tight red t-shirt. That shows off the top part of her body perfectly. It’s to be appreciated. When she sits down beside me, her smell floats everywhere and my pulse spikes.
“Okay let’s get started, I want to hear the five things you have learned about each other.” Olivia looks down at her sheet that she has attached to a clip board.
“Michelle and Ava you were paired together.” As Michelle stands I can see there’s tension between her and Ava. Ava smiles up at her like she’s a supportive friend, but it’s in the way she holds her eyes, I’ve seen it before she’s telling her not to fuck up.
“Ava is really sweet and caring.” As Michelle speaks I know whatever she’s going to say has been rehearsed. I find myself pushing my leg against Laura’s.
“Ava has been the victim of bullying here in this facility but she chooses to forgive her bullies even if they still secretly torment her.”
I lean across Michael and look at Ava. “What the fuck Ava. You have her spinning that shit.”
“Craig. Disrupt my class one more time and you’re out.” I clench my jaw and fists as I look away from Ava. Laura leans her leg into me with force and I look at her, my body relaxing. Her big brown eyes are so filled with goodness that anyone can see she wouldn’t hurt a soul.
“Michelle, you seem to have misunderstood the assignment. I want both you and Ava to learn about each other, not events that are happening now.” Michelle sits down red faced and I want to take my compliment back, she can’t look at me even as my eyes burn into the side of her red jaw.
“Ava you too. I want you to rethink the direction you’re going with that information. I want Michelle to get to know Ava, not the events and I want you to get to know Michelle.” My eyes flicker to Ava who smiles sweetly.
“Of course Olivia. It’s just been traumatic on me and I’ve shared this experience with Michelle, not thinking she would tell the class. Honestly I’m feeling slightly embarrassed.” She pats Michelle’s hand like she’s a fucking dog. How had I not seen how manipulative she was?
I was manipulative too.
That’s why I hadn’t noticed. The thoughts that swirl around in my mind have me shifting in my seat. Everyone I manipulated for drugs, sex, or just because I could. Thankfully it’s cut off as Olivia speaks to Laura.
“Laura would you like to start.” I don’t look at Laura, instead I crack my neck and tilt my head, I want to look relaxed, but my heart is picking up pace. I’m nervous and excited to hear of what Laura thinks about me.
“Craig’s really good at drawing. No that’s not even the right way to say it. He’s so gifted that the drawing looks like it might come to life.” She looks at me and my stomach tightens, her soft smiling eyes focus on me. I know everyone can see how she’s looking at me. I’ve seen it a thousand times before, it’s normally when I bail and leave a broken heart behind me. But with Laura it makes me feel tall, it makes me want to stay.
“He’s such a good person.” I wait for someone to snicker or interject but no one does. It’s not what Laura is saying it’s how she’s saying it. It sounds so fucking true. Like if I wasn’t me I would believe it too.
“I have never meet anyone in my life who tries to change so much for the best, even when the cards are stacked against him.”
“He’s so funny, that he makes me forget where I am sometimes.” I suck in a breath at the emotion in Laura’s voice. Her eyes are glistening and I’m so shocked at how she sees me. She’s looking at me directly now and my puljjjse racjjes.
“I hope one day you can forgive yourself for what landed you here, because your one of the good guys.” My jaw is clenched as my heart pounds in my chest, and for the first time in my life I wonder if I’m going to pass out.
Grow a pair of balls.
Everyone is clapping, and I focus on that. Not the balls growing but the clapping.
“Craig.” Olivia is saying to me, encouraging me to speak now.
“Well that’s a hard act to follow.” I say and soft laughter bounces around the room. It eases some of the tension in my shoulders. I look to Laura and I’m finding this too hard.
