Texas winds, p.14
Texas Winds, page 14
“You gonna need me anymore this week?”
Derek was a part-time hand who typically worked when Jake needed an extra person. “No, I think we’re good for now.”
“Okay. I’m at the Benton place for the next week while Harper’s on vacation. If you need something just let me know.”
Jaked nodded and they finished the half-hour ride in silence.
“I got your horse, boss,” said Derek as they approached the barn.
Cody met them at the entrance. “Dolly had a new heifer a couple of hours ago.”
Jake dismounted and handed Derek the reins. “Is she all right? What about the calf?”
“Both are fine.” Cody hesitated, and the expression on his face troubled Jake.
“What’s wrong?”
“Sean stopped by just as they, Miss Lexie and Katie, got back from visiting the cabin.”
“And?”
“Well, Katie was asleep, and Miss Lexie couldn’t get her in the house what with her being on that boot thing and using a crutch.”
Jake’s patience, very weak lately, cracked. “Get to the point.”
“He offered to carry Katie into the house.”
Jake stiffened as Cody continued. “Miss Lexie said no. And, well, she asked me to do it.”
“Okay. What else?”
“Well, I was walking to the front when I saw his truck was still here.” He hesitated. “They was sitting in them rockers on the porch. She didn’t look much like she wanted his company, so I called him back to the barn, and she went inside.”
An unease he couldn’t explain washed over him. Not because Cody helped Lexie but because Sean was here. Again. And it was obvious he was interested in Lexie.
Nope, dude. Not gonna happen.
Cody continued, seemingly unaware of Jake’s sudden ire. “You should have seen Katie when Miss Lexie brought her out here. I’ve never seen a kid so excited. Miss Lexie, too.”
On top of the other turmoil in his chest, Cody’s wide grin irked Jake, and he tamped down the irritation. “She brought Katie to the barn?”
“Yeah. Didn’t stay long. Said she had to cook your supper.”
He didn’t comment and entered the barn, stopping at Dolly’s stall and smiling at the image of the calf nursing. “Good girl, Dolly,” he said as the cow stretched toward him for a head scratch. “Good girl.” He checked the calf and Dolly’s injury, ensured she had ample water and feed, and then headed out of the stall, setting the latch behind him. When Biscuit ambled up, he stopped and stared. The poor dog was filthy and soaking wet. “Lexie will have a fit,” he muttered. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
Biscuit followed him to the washing area at the back and sat still as he hosed him down for a quick bath, then dried him with a towel. “Well, it ain’t the best wash job in the world, but maybe she won’t be too upset over it.”
Troubling thoughts of Sean disappeared as he stepped onto the porch and toed off his boots. The image he saw through the window made his breath catch. Lexie stood at the sink, apparently washing dishes, when Katie came in wearing her favorite blue pj’s, carrying a book, her hair piled on top of her head in a mini-me version of Lexie’s.
She dried her hands, then leaned down, apparently listening to whatever the child said. Then she nodded and settled Katie at the bar, the book in her lap.
“Damn, Biscuit. I forgot I said I’d read that book tonight.” He checked his watch, noted it was Katie’s bedtime, and hurried inside, the dog on his heels.
“Daddy,” Katie exclaimed. “Doh-wee had a baby.”
“She did?”
“Uh-huh. I petted him, too.”
He tried to hide his discomfort. “You did?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I hope that was all right.” Lexie’s voice held a nervous quiver. “Sean told me—“
He jerked his gaze toward her, the mental picture of her and Sean together—on his porch, clouding his mind with a surge of unexpected jealousy. “Sean?”
Her cheeks turned bright pink, and she averted her eyes, making him think she hid something.
“Well, Katie and I went to the cabin after you left. It’s beautiful, by the way. And she fell asleep on the way home.”
The buzzing in his ears continued as she related Cody’s earlier story—except for the part about them sitting together—on his porch.
Her eyes flitted around the room before connecting with his. “When Katie got up from her nap, I took her outside to swing. Then she wanted to watch this cartoon on TV, and I came outside to sit for a while. Sean came up and told me about the calf, stayed a few minutes, and left.” She paused to breathe. “I’m sorry if I did something wrong.”
His chaotic mind latched on to the mental image of her and Sean together, and he gave himself a mental shake. “No. It’s fine.” He glanced at Katie, who held the book close to her chest.
“…you read now?” Her tiny voice vibrated with uncertainty.
He hated to say no, but he really needed a shower first. Maybe it would wash away the disquieting images that kept popping up.
“Sweetie, I think Daddy should clean up first.” Lexie leaned forward. “He kinda smells,” she added in a stage whisper.
Katie grinned. “Yeah, Daddy ‘tinks.”
“Yes, I do.” He stood across the island from her. “Give me a few minutes to shower, and then I’ll come tuck you in and read. Okay?”
Her hair bobbed when she nodded.
“Biscuit worked hard today,” he told Lexie. “He might be extra hungry.”
“Okay,” said Lexie as she lifted Katie to the floor and gave her the book. “Why don’t you go hop in bed now? Daddy will be in soon.”
Katie grinned at him, then hurried down the hall to her room.
Lexie turned her back to him and busied herself wiping the counter. “I’m sorry if I did something wrong. About the calf, I mean.”
His first thought was that she had something other than the calf on her mind. The second was it shocked him to realize how quickly she picked up on his unease, even if she misinterpreted the reason. “I’ve never taken her to the barn before.” He paused. “Animals can be unpredictable.” Immediately, the image of Mary on the ground came to mind. It was difficult to shove it back into its darkened corner.
Lexie finally turned and faced him. “I was extra careful with her, Jake. But I should have asked you first. I’m sorry.” A shadow of unease crossed her face as she waited for his response.
“No. It’s all right, really.” He rubbed that sticky spot on the back of his neck. “You had her on the swing?” The old rope swing had hung on the tree for as long as he could remember. It couldn’t possibly be safe to use.
“I sat in it first to make sure it would hold her since I saw it was old.”
Again, the strange feeling she knew what he was thinking. “I’m sure she enjoyed it.” He sighed. “Frankly, I never even thought about it.” He shook his head. “I usually work till dark.”
She pushed away from the counter. “I’ll feed Biscuit, then set your supper out while you shower.”
“What’s wrong, Lexie?”
She didn’t immediately face him. “Nothing. Really. A lot on my mind tonight.”
He wasn’t buying that, but he let it slide for now because he had his own thoughts to contend with.
“Where’re your glasses?” It was a stupid question to ask, but it popped into his head and out his mouth before he could stop it.
“Contacts.”
“Your eyes are beautiful.” He smiled at the light tint on her cheeks. “But that sexy librarian look is hard to beat.”
The flush deepened, and she blinked. “Um, thank you.” She hesitated. “I better see to Biscuit.”
When she moved, he gently touched her arm. He hadn’t meant to, shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t stop himself. It was torture to be this close and not touch her. Hold her.
She froze, her gaze ping-ponging from his hand to his face.
When their eyes connected, something sparked in the deepest part of him. The part he had kept deeply buried for years, one he thought never to live again. He didn’t know what to call it, certainly not love, but it was different. Special.
And then he saw an answering spark in those electric blue eyes.
He sighed deeply, gathered her into his arms, and held her snugly against his stinky, wet body.
Something intense flared in Jake’s eyes, and Lexie held her breath. Each time she saw him, the bond between them grew stronger. When he gently pulled her to him, it was a natural response to sink into his embrace and nestle her forehead under his chin.
All thoughts of Sean’s comments vaporized as his hands explored the hollows of her back, and she snuggled closer. Despite his smelly, damp clothing, the heat of his body seeped through and warmed her from within. Content, she inhaled the masculine scent of rain, leather, and sweat. She abandoned trying to put a name to it. Knowing it existed was enough for now.
The kisses from earlier tantalized her memory all day, and she hoped for a repeat performance. But this was better, for he not only embraced her body, he also included her heart.
“I know I should have showered first.” His uneven breath was warm and moist against her cheek. “But I…I needed this.”
The rapid thump of his heart in her ear matched her own. “Me, too.”
He pushed back slightly and cupped her chin with one hand, his thumb caressing her lower lip. “What have you done to me?” he whispered.
Then he teased her mouth in a series of slow, drugging near-kisses that sent hunger zinging through her bloodstream, and her hands fisted in his shirt.
He pulled back, then reclaimed her mouth in the passion-filled kiss of her dreams.
The slide of his tongue against hers sent the pit of her stomach in a wild swirl, and her senses reeled.
She had never, ever been so thoroughly kissed.
But it ended too soon, and he rested his forehead on hers, their rapid breathing the only sound in the room.
“Katie’s waiting,” he said hoarsely. “And I need to shower.”
The big clock on the wall ticked away the seconds until Jake kissed the top of her head and stepped back. “I have to go now, or I never will.”
Her knees wobbled, and she leaned against the counter as he walked away.
Sean’s comment suddenly loomed to the forefront. How could he hold her, kiss her this way if his heart still belonged to his dead wife?
Chapter nineteen
Jake lay propped against the headboard, the closed book resting in his lap. Katie fell asleep soon after he began reading. As he watched her now, he rubbed the heel of his palm over his heart where a sudden ache appeared. I should have come home sooner.
As he stared at the sleeping child, the riotous curls so much like Mary’s, the past came rushing back.
To this day, he easily recalled the doctor’s shocking words. “Your wife made it through surgery but remains in critical condition. We’ll do our best, but we may not be able to save the child.”
What? Was Mary pregnant?
Shock soon turned to delight, for he desperately wanted a child. But in the hours that followed, questions mounted. Why didn’t she tell him? Did she know when she moved into the guest room? When she asked for a divorce?
Later that evening, the doctor estimated Mary was about twenty weeks along. Jake carefully hid his astonishment and mentally backtracked to the last time they made love, discovering a heartbreaking possibility.
The child may—or may not be his.
Questions without answers tortured him, but he kept her infidelity a secret. This was between them, and they would discuss it when she woke up.
Besides, blame was a two-way street, and he accepted his part.
But that didn’t make her betrayal any less hurtful.
Days rolled into weeks as he divided his time between caring for the ranch and keeping a bedside vigil. At first, he just sat there, too hurt and stunned to speak. Slowly, he began talking about their life together, the good times, and the love they shared. He mentioned the child she carried, promising he would do the right thing despite the hurt eating away at his soul.
Doctors kept her sedated to alleviate some of the strain on her body. The first time they tried to stop it, a seizure resulted, halting the procedure. It was weeks before the next attempt. This time, they performed the process over several days and closely monitored her condition. After three days, she roused enough to briefly open her eyes before drifting off to sleep.
He never left her side, whispering words of love and vowed to do everything he could to make things right between them again. Finally, exhaustion claimed him, and he slept with his head on the bed near her hand.
Her soft moan woke him at dawn.
“Mary,” he pleaded and rang for the nurse. “Sweetheart. Wake up.”
Her face twitched as she struggled to open her eyes.
“That’s my girl. Come on, baby, wake up.”
He ignored the two nurses who rushed in. “Mary, please...wake up.”
She turned toward his voice, eyes mere slits. “…Jake?”
Her ragged whisper was music to his ears.
“I’m here, baby. I’m here.”
She lifted a hand toward him, and he grasped it, shocked by the coldness. “I’m here, baby.”
Suddenly, alarms and rapid beeps exploded from the machines attached to her body.
“Mr. Holloway,” a nurse snapped. “Please step back.”
Terrified, he moved to the foot of the bed. “What’s happening? Mary? Mary!”
She turned her head toward his voice and exhaled. “…J-Ja...”
More medical personnel pushed him aside as they charged in. He heard someone say they must take the baby now or risk losing them both.
Helpless, he watched them wheel her away, then numbly followed the aide to the waiting room. He called his parents and frantically paced around the small space until they arrived, Donna at their side.
His mother hurried toward him, her face pale, her voice strained. “How is she?”
He scrubbed his face with both hands. “I don’t know. No one has said anything since they took her back.”
Aggie and Donna stood on either side, hands gripping his forearms. “We’re here for you, son,” Aggie whispered.
“Always,” Donna added, then lay her head on his upper arm.
His father stood to the side, face etched with concern, and cleared his throat. “Hang in there, son.”
The doctor’s sudden appearance, coupled with his grim expression, robbed Jake of speech. Adrenaline surged, and his heart raced as he waited for him to speak.
The doctor’s jaw clenched and released once, and he sucked in a breath. “Your daughter weighs three pounds and ten ounces, which means our estimate on your wife’s pregnancy was probably off a week or two, which is good. She’ll still be in the NIC unit for some time, though.”
“My wife?” Even as he asked, he knew.
“…I’m sorry.”
The words hit Jake like a physical blow to his chest, and he staggered. “What happened?”
“Her blood pressure spiked, causing a massive stroke. There was nothing we could do.”
His mother began to weep, and his father pulled her against him.
Silent tears streamed down Donna’s cheeks as she clung to his arm.
Mary’s unexpected death robbed him of answers and left him with a delicate child to raise alone. His promise to do the right thing mocked him now because he had no choice but to assume the role thrust upon him.
Thoughts raced through his mind all at once. Did Mary’s lover know about the child or suspect he may be the father? And if so, what then? A paternity test would answer the question but tarnish Mary’s memory and subject him to pity. He couldn’t deal with either option. As time passed, he simply chose not to think about it. Self-preservation created a wall around his heart that lately began to weaken.
Katie mewed softly in her sleep, and the sound yanked him away from the dark abyss of uncertainty dogging his every breath.
He gazed at the angelic face, one hand fisted under her chin and something twisted inside. He’d spent the last four years focused on protecting his battered heart. He gave Katie everything—but himself. He looked but didn’t see her. He provided for her but didn’t show he cared.
No wonder she shied away from people. From him.
He ran a knuckle across her petal-soft cheek. So innocent. So trusting.
Sorrow mixed with shame brought a rush of heat to his face. When her mouth curled up in a tiny smile, guilt overwhelmed him. He was a shitty excuse for a man. And a father. But he could—and would do better than this.
Sean’s unexpected return should be good news. They’d grown up together. When they were sophomores, he introduced him to Mary, who was new in town, and the three of them remained friends. He left town shortly after Mary’s accident without a word to Jake.
He sat up straight in bed. Just how close were they?
Lexie peeked around the doorframe as Jake gently touched Katie’s cheek. The act was so tender, so loving that tears stung her eyes. Suddenly, feeling like an intruder, she backed away and hobbled to the kitchen.
But seeing the special father-daughter moment gave her more insight into the real Jake Holloway, and her chaotic emotions multiplied. Something about him called to her, but she needed distance for clarity. And there was still Sean’s question to address.
Her shoulders drew up sharply, and she made a decision. “Dinner at the table,” she muttered, then moved everything to the dining table instead of the breakfast bar, adding a place setting for herself across from his. On a whim, she added a bottle of wine she found in the pantry and two glasses.
She never liked eating alone. Even when she and Rodney were dating, she often found herself alone at mealtime while he worked late or networked. When they did share a meal, it was usually a work-related function. Even on those rare occasions when she cooked for them, talk centered on work and Rodney’s desire to move up in the corporate world.
In hindsight, she saw what Bobby had from the first. Rodney was using her.
