Binding ties, p.3
Binding Ties, page 3
A pang of sadness flooded my veins. I still couldn’t believe he was gone, even though I knew it’d been coming for a few months now.
“I give and bequeath to Julian Ace McCormick, should he survive me, all funds in my savings account, #429-977A at Silverbell First Savings Bank, my estate, and auto body shop, except as noted below.” He paused and glanced at me warily before reading the next portion. It immediately gave me the feeling that something was very wrong. “I leave the sum of $10,000 in the care of Annagayle Rafferty until such a time that Benjamin Rafferty is of age for college, it being my wish that such sum should be used for the education of Benjamin Rafferty.”
My heart went full stop, and my breath hitched in my throat. What the ever living fuck? My brain raced as I tried to place why my father would leave money to a child of Annagayle’s… unless… no. There’s no way. Maybe it’s not mine. I know her and Pops were close these last few years. He’d liked her growing up. He thought she was good news for me, and it seemed as though these last couple of years she was all he could seem to talk about. I could never figure out why.
It finally hit me. For who knows how long, my father knew that Annagayle had a child and never told me. Anger burned through my core before another thought crossed my mind. It couldn’t possibly be mine? Could it? He wouldn’t hide something like that from me, right?
Mason cleared his throat, garnering my attention again. “Shall I continue?” I swallowed hard and nodded. I needed to figure out what the hell happened. “I hereby nominate, constitute, and appoint my dear boy, Julian Ace McCorrmick, to act as the Executor of this, my Last Will and Testament. In the event that Julian Ace McCormick shall predecease me or chooses not to act for any reason, I nominate and appoint Annagayle Rafferty to act in his place.”
My mind swam back to Annagayle. Was the father of this boy in the picture? I didn’t see him at the funeral today, if so. Which leaves me with another thought: is he a deadbeat dad? My hands balled into fists thinking about anyone doing that to my Anna. Then again, she hadn't been mine for six years now. She could’ve moved on.
I needed to figure out what was going on. “Mason, do you have Annagayle’s address so that I can tell her the good news about Ben?” His name sounded weird coming out of my mouth. He looked hesitant briefly before he simply nodded and handed me a piece of paper.
I thanked him and then stood up to leave. I had to know.
Her home was just a ten minute walk away from Main Street. I could’ve driven over since I’d brought my car home with me, but I felt like having the time to think about things and Silverbell wasn’t really that big of a place. After a few minutes, I stood in front of a single family townhome with my heart in my throat. The last time I’d come to her home she still lived with her parents. What would I do if a man answered the door? Who in town could have fathered her child? I would worry about that when the time came.
I hopped up the stairs two at a time. The front door stood ominously before me, and I shook off the nerves before reaching up to ring the bell. Turning around, I made sure no one was standing staring at me like I’d lost my damn mind. Right now, I really wondered. Waiting, I noticed beautiful flower beds lining the front of the house. My eyes trailed farther and noticed a random shine of light hidden in the grass. What was it?
Before I realized it, I was halfway across the yard looking at what had been left so haphazardly in the yard; a small red Hot Wheels car was the answer. It was just a coincidence that he likes Hot Wheels, I told myself. What kid doesn’t like Hot Wheels?
When two minutes passed and she still didn't answer, I walked back up to the door. I rang the doorbell once again and knocked, hoping that she’d hear one or the other. A flash of blue to my left caught my attention just as a woman next door quickly closed the curtains. Well, she wouldn’t be any help. After another few minutes, I gave up and jumped down the stairs to walk around the house. I wanted to see if I could look in any of the windows.
As I was about to turn down between the two houses, the front door of the next house groaned open, where I’d just seen the lady, opened, and she appeared. Her neighbor was an older, short, graying blonde with curves; definitely someone I had never met. She must be new to town in the last six years. “Can I help you?” She asked politely with a smile because Silverbell was nothing but small town charm.
“I’m looking for Anna. Tom said I could find her here. I have something to tell her about Luke’s will.” Why in the hell was I telling her all this information? I shook my head in confusion. It was like my mouth decided word vomit was the answer.
She snapped her fingers together and I saw the lightbulb go off; clarity shining through. “Wait, you’re that famous car guy, right? Didn’t you race across the pond earlier this year? It was a good run, I didn't think you’d pull it off.” My mind spun back to my last victory. It was certainly a good one to end my career on.
A tiny pang hits my heart. Driving was my dream and now I’d never do it again professionally.
Her hands found her hips. “Well, you’ve just missed her. She takes her little boy, Ben, for ice cream every Monday after school at The Village Parlor in town. Want to leave a message for her? I can let her know when she gets home.”
The corners of my lips cranked up at another memory; one of me and Anna at that same little ice cream shop. I wasn’t a fan of ice cream, but I could never tell her no. “No, ice cream sounds good today. I’ll just go try and catch her there.”
“All right, have a good one.” She smiled and said politely before going back into her house. Well, at least I now knew she definitely had a child. I needed to put my mind at ease.
It took only ten-ish minutes to walk down Main Street to The Village Parlor. It was an old school ice cream shop that’d been here since we were kids, so I remembered it well. The line was out the door like it always was on a warm evening in Silverbell.
The line didn’t matter, though, because ice cream was the last thing I had on my mind right now. It didn’t take me long to find them, sitting at a table at the end of the patio. She sat facing me while a kid sat across from her. A son. Anna had a son. I was still finding it hard to wrap my head around. I blinked and did a double take just to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.
For a few minutes, I just stood and watched them interact.
She was laughing with her little boy until she caught sight of me. Her eyes widened in horror, and it made me uneasy, but I spoke anyway. “Hey, Annagayle. Just wanted to say thanks for coming to Pop's funeral and helping take care of him while I was away. He always had the nicest things to say about you. But I’m not surprised.”
Why the hell did I sound so damn formal? “Ace?” She whispered my nickname, and I couldn’t help the rush of feelings over her using it still. Her eyes flashed up to me, and then quickly flicked to the boy. “I… what are you doing here?” She looked completely and totally flustered. The rose flush that I’d loved for years returned and crawled up her collarbone to her neck and landed on her cheeks.
“I’m here for Pops’ funeral.”
“No, I mean here. Last time I recall, you weren’t a huge fan of ice cream. So, what in the world brings you to The Village?” She kept glancing behind me, and I couldn’t figure out why she felt the need to bolt so badly. Why couldn’t I know she had a son? What was she hiding?
I pulled out the chair to the left of her son and sat down. She stiffened. I turned, ready to introduce myself to her son when all the air left my lungs like I just got punched. I was staring at a younger version of myself. It was like looking at a mirror and going back to when I was a kid again.
Fuck. Me. Sideways.
I could see her features blended with mine. Dark hair with a stubborn curl that matched my own with the blue eye color from Anna. Sure, it could be a coincidence, but I’d seen too many today, so I wasn’t as quick to toss it away.
I instinctively knew he was mine.
I had a son.
Chapter Four
He knew. My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest, drop to the ground, and keep on running without me. Hell, I wouldn’t blame it if it did. Sweat clammed up my palms, and I was lightheaded and hot all at once. Was it suddenly really, really hot out? Phew.
My eyes flew to the patrons sitting around us on the patio. Dear God, please tell me Sally wasn’t here because she was the last thing I wanted to deal with right now. My eyes fixated back on Jullian as he looked at our child.
It was only a matter of time until he figured it out, but hell if I still didn’t want more time to come up with a plan. One that would’ve left me in control of the situation and when Ben found out; not like this. I should’ve known to keep him at home until I knew how long Julian was staying, but I couldn’t keep Ben cooped up because I was too scared to run into his father; too scared of what his father would think about the lie I’ve been keeping from him for the last five years. It wouldn’t be fair to Ben. and I didn’t want to mess up his routine. Sitting here. I realize that would’ve been the smarter idea.
And if he knew about Ben, then chances are he’d already spoken with Mason. Shit, he had to have just found out about the will and the trust fund Luke left for Ben.
But how did he figure out we were here? Had he gone to the house? Why did he come looking for me? Sam must have told him.
Gathering all my courage, I glanced at Ben, who was curiously staring at Julian. “Benjamin.” His name whispered across my lips, and a spurt of joy spread through my body when my voice didn’t waver as much as I thought it would. “This is Julian McCormick, buddy. We went to school together back when we were kids just like you, and now he drives a race car.”
Ben’s eyes grew to the size of saucers. and his little mouth flew open. “Really?!” He exclaimed, his excitement a little too loud for the people around us, garnering their attention, and making me cringe.
“Yeah, little man. I race cars for my job.” I wanted to reach out and scruff Julian’s hair. I wondered if it was as soft as it’d been when I was allowed to freely skim my fingers through it. I’m not sure why that thought popped into my brain, but I mentally told my arm to stand down. “You know, your mom and I know each other a little better than she claims. We used to hang out a lot buddy, we used to be best friends at one point.”
“What’d you do when you hung out?” He questioned in that sweet little innocent voice, hanging on Julian’s every word.
My eyes widened in holy terror as I waited for Julian’s response. He smirked at me, and my stomach dropped. He wouldn’t…
“We used to play Hot Wheel cars together, buddy.”
His eyes lit up with overwhelming joy before he squealed, a little too loudly, “Really? Mama and l play with Hot Wheels, too.”
He chuckled low. “I’m sure you do, buddy.”
My heart rate only calmed briefly before it rushed back down the mountain of my soul without my permission. Julian was going to give me a heart attack. Pain covered his face, his mouth tight in a grimace. He was pissed. I could tell that for certain, and I didn’t want him to take out his anger with me by spouting things to my little boy for revenge. I also didn’t need him to tell Ben before I had the chance that he was Ben’s father.
He wasn't that vindictive, but then again, it's been years and he's just found out he has a son. I may not know Julian at all anymore. I kept this from him because I knew his thoughts on kids, having spoken about it several times growing up.
He would make a great father; I had no doubt about that. He may have gone off into the world and became a hot shot racer, but I was hopeful he still had his small town roots.
Watching the two of them together made me realize how much Ben needed a man in his life. I wanted to melt into a puddle of goo. He was good with Ben, just like I knew he would be. Guilt crept into my mind, chastising me for my decisions all those years ago, and my stomach tightened. How would things be different now?
Ben had Luke before, but he was a grandpa, not someone who could be out in the front yard throwing a ball around or playing with Hot Wheels in the grass.
He needed Julian, and, in a way, I did too, but there was no way he’d be okay with it now. Tortured disbelief hung in those dark tinted eyes as he pushed away and stood up from the table; his chair scraping in the stagnant silence on the patio below it.
Those eyes focused on me as he spoke his next words. “We’ll be in touch, Annagayle. Looks like we have plenty of things to talk about.” My stomach dropped as color drained from my face. I couldn’t see it, but I could only imagine how I looked.
And, with that, he left. No goodbye. No smile. None of the Ace charm I remembered. Why did I expect anything more? I’d essentially kept a very big secret from him for all these years.
His figure faded as he walked away from The Village Parlor. My eyes were drawn to my little boy. The urge to make sure he was okay pummeled through me like a Mama lion protecting her cub. He had a smile on his face the size of Texas. “I liked him, Mama! Think he’d ever come over and play Hot Wheels with me? He said he liked them.”
Tears formed in my eyes. “Of course, buddy. I’m sure he’d love that.” I just hoped that Julian didn’t hold it against Ben for something that was my decision alone. His lips tipped up on the sides before he started to lick his ice cream off the spoon again. Reaching over, I ran my fingers through his dark hair.
It seemed to make me feel more grounded. Ben always did that for me. He was my soul. My life. Everything I did revolved around him. Unfortunately, he had no idea how much his life was about to change. Or how much it’d already changed.
Savannah’s mouth dropped open. “Holy cow, I can’t believe he hunted you down. Did he even tell you why?”
I swung my head from side to side. “No, but now he knows. I think he’s pissed, Sav. The look he gave me was so tortured. I felt like the worst human.”
She reached out and grabbed a hold of my hand as she sat beside me on the couch. “Sweets, you didn’t exactly tell him. In fact, you and his father kept it from him for years. He probably feels hurt and blindsided. I can’t say I’d be happy if I was him, either.”
I frowned at Savannah, my best friend and the mother to Ben’s best friend, Rex. Savvy and her husband, Hutchison, lived on the one side of us; Sam lived on the other side. Ben and I had gotten pretty lucky in the neighbor department. When Kahlia isn’t able to babysit, I can always count on Sav, and when they want a night out, I’ll watch Rex so they can have some peace and quiet.
They’d been married now for about six years. Savannah and I had gotten pregnant around the same time, but mine wasn’t intentional, although I kind of enjoyed being pregnant with my best friend.
I was especially grateful to Hutch. He’d taken Ben under his wing from the start, treating him like his own. But there were still things that Hutch couldn’t give my little boy. He needed a daddy, and I just hoped and prayed that Jullian would come around.
My phone sat quietly on the table before me, not having made a sound all day, and my anxiety was getting the best of me. When would he want to talk? How do I explain? What will he think? How will he react? I'm hoping the silence is because he's simply busy with the car shop and getting Luke's final affairs in order and not because he's avoiding me.
My eyes found our boys in the living room. Ben and Rex were night and day. Where Ben had his fathers dark hair and dark eyes, Rex had light blonde hair and blue eyes.
All of a sudden, they started yelling. “Hey, that’s mine!”
“Mom, tell him to give it back. It was my turn.”
I looked over at Sav and laughed, remembering we were like that when we were kids too. Julian, Sav, and I had all grown up here in Silverbell Shore. Hutchison had moved here for a job and never looked back after he met my sassy best friend.
“Moooommmmm…” Ben’s whiny voice hit my ears.
Savannah started to get up, but I halted her. I looked at my glass sitting on the coffee table. “I’d say we’re due for some more wine. I’ve got it, if you deal with them.”
“You got it.” She laughed.
I watched as she moved toward the boys. They were fighting over the red Chevelle SS Hot Wheels car. It was Ben’s favorite, and I’m honestly surprised he even brought it. Every time I saw it, I was reminded of the real version of the car currently sitting in Luke’s garage. When Ace went off to race, he left it behind.
Occasionally, I’d hear that old familiar engine running up the road, and I always had to remember that it was Luke and not Ace driving it. After a while, I finally accepted that he was gone. I moved on, found out that Ben was coming, and decided I was going to do everything humanly possible to care for my little boy.
I bent down onto the floor and reached for the car. “Okay, guys. How about I just hold onto it until you’re done.”
“Aww…” Both boys whined, but I knew it was best.
“How about this… I’ll give it back in a little while. For now, just pay with all these amazing other cars.”
Ben’s bottom lip stuck out, but he didn’t complain any more. He could’ve screamed and caused a scene.
I stood up to walk away, and they started playing with the other cars lying around. I sighed as I dropped my ass onto the couch. As much as I hated to admit it, I really wanted a night alone. Although, that would probably only consist of wine, ice cream, and sad memories, followed by tears.
All the thoughts about what could happen with Julian swirled around in my mind. My heart jumped a little at the thought of us making up and becoming a family, or at the thought of being intimate with someone again. Although, that thought also sent a chill down my spine. I’d only ever slept with Julian, and now I was a mom. I had the stretch marks to prove it.
If we ever did it again, I’d definitely ask for the lights to be off. I wasn’t the skinny and physically fit girl he knew in school.
Sav cleared her throat and looked at me. “What’s going on in your crazy mind over there? Don’t overthink this and freak out. Can I ask you to just wait to see what happens instead of expecting the worst?”
