Dante was quiet for a moment and then turned, looking deep into Beth’s green eyes. “I am so thankful for you, Beth. More than words can say. I love you.”

  That brought tears to her eyes. “I love you too, Dante,” she smiled back at him.

  Their faces were already so close it was as natural as breathing when they came together in a kiss. It started out gently, almost tentative, and grew into an intense declaration of their love and passion for each other. The sun had completely set, leaving them in the glow of the moon and distant lights from the city reflecting in the sky. They lay staring into each other’s eyes, wrapped in their arms once they stopped kissing. Neither of them wanted to move.

  “We should go,” Dante was the first to speak. “It’s so dark. Your parents will be worrying.” Neither of them knew what time it was. Beth nodded in agreement, yet they both held each other for another minute. “Let’s go,” Dante said determinedly, kissing her on the forehead and trying to get off the disc swing. That proved harder than expected.

  Tangled in each other and lying down in a child size swing, finding an effective – and appropriate – place to push off with their hands was tricky. After a lot of laughter, Dante rolled Beth over and slid himself off the swing, landing on the ground. He helped her off the swing and they walked back to her house hand in hand.

  Eric and Kim were waiting in the living room and asked them to sit down so they could all talk.

  “I’m really sorry if I was rude after dinner,” Dante said when they sat down. “I saw my mom on a job, and it really got to me. I’ve never seen her working before.”

  “We know, Dante. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Kim assured him. “I can imagine how upsetting that must have been for you.”

  Dante merely nodded as Eric spoke next.

  “We think you should be aware of something. Now that you have decided to be baptized, you are likely going to have an increase in trials. And temptations,” he added that last part with a look at his daughter, making her and Dante turn red.

  “The adversary doesn’t want you to be baptized,” Eric continued, “and so you will be tested in many ways to try and break your faith and trust in God; that will make you question whether you really want to do this. We want to encourage you to remember the experiences you have had – the miracles, the answers to prayer – those were real. Keep praying and turning to God, especially in really difficult situations.

  “It also helps if you stick to environments where it is easier to make the choices you know to be right.” It wasn’t directly spoken, but they all knew Eric was implying the unknown location Beth and Dante had just been for a long time, alone, in the dark.

  They talked for a few more minutes and then Beth drove Dante home. “Do you need me to come in for a bit, or will you be ok?” Beth asked him as she parked in front of his apartment.

  He shook his head with a mischievous grin. “You temptress!” Beth gasped in mock offense, making Dante laugh. “I think we have played with enough fire tonight. I don’t know if I could let you go home if you came in,” he said somewhat jokingly. He leaned close to her, “I’ll be ok. Thank you, Beth.” Kissing her tenderly he whispered, “I love you,” as he climbed out of the car.

  “I love you too. See you tomorrow for church,” Beth replied through the open window before he walked away.

  Dante had restless sleep that night, still disturbed about seeing his mom working and detracting from his special night. It now felt directly connected to her awful work and he didn’t want any part of that. Though it had always bothered or embarrassed him to some extent, a growing hatred and disgust for what she did was beginning to consume him. Maybe it felt so much worse now that Beth’s family had shown him how wonderful families could be. The contrast was colossal. He growled and angrily rolled over and over in bed. “I have to get her out of this!”

  Finally drifting into unconscious oblivion, his dreams tormented him. He saw her again sitting at the bar with a man. This time Dante ran toward her, but when she saw him coming, she quickly pulled the man out of the room, trying to get away from her son. Dante followed from room to room, through dark hallways and stairwells, but was never able to reach her. Just as he would get close, she disappeared again. The man she was with at first changed to a different man each time Dante saw her. Dante felt frantic; Ella did not seem frightened by the men, only scared that Dante would catch up to her.

  “Mom! Wait, please! Mom!” he would desperately call to her, but she kept disappearing. “Mom!” he pleaded as she slipped behind a large curtain. When he caught up and pushed the curtain aside, he was shocked to find her in a bright and open room – the same room where he had seen her in other dreams, dressed in white.

  She wasn’t running anymore, but Dante still could not reach her. He continued to call her name and she smiled peacefully at him repeating, “Dante, it’s ok. I’m ok.” Their voices overlapping, his pleading and her reassuring, until he was shaken awake.

  There was his mom standing over his bed, gently shaking his arms and saying exactly what she had in his dream. “It’s ok,” she said quieter now that he was awake.

  “Mom?” Dante was disoriented by having his mom there touching him. “What is going on?” he asked her.

  “You tell me,” she questioned him with concern. “I came home this morning, had a shower and was relaxing when I heard you yelling my name. Are you ok?”

  Dante shook his head. He was in a cold sweat until all his anger from the night before came flooding back and heating him up. He sat up in his bed and slid out of his mom’s reach. “No. I’m not ok! Last night was awful! Seeing you like that. Working.” He almost spat that word out.

  Ella’s eyes closed. “I’m so sorry you had to see that,” her voice was full of remorse.

  “And to make it worse,” he continued, “you had to ruin what would have been a nice celebration for me by flaunting your connections and work money to pay for dinner and get me into the kitchen with the chef!”

  Ella’s eyes snapped wide. “What?” She didn’t understand, but Dante didn’t believe her.

  “Come on, Mom. I know you paid for our dinner and had the manager take me for a private tour of the kitchen and watch the head chef make our food. The manager told us it was all at the request of an anonymous person. I couldn’t figure out who was there that knew I wanted to be a chef and would arrange all of that. I wish you hadn’t done that! I don’t know who I thought it could be, but not you. I hate knowing you have that kind of influence there.”

  Ella was shaking her head in disbelief. “No, Dante,” she said quietly, “it wasn’t me. I didn’t know you were there until we saw each other when you were leaving.” Her voice was full of concern. Dante watched her eyes.

  “If it wasn’t you, who could it be?” he challenged. He could see fear in her face, and secrets, but she claimed to have no idea.

  “Maybe it was someone that knows the Blacks?” she tried to suggest, knowing just as Dante did that isn’t what happened. Trying to move the conversation on, she reaffirmed, “It wasn’t me, my boy. I promise. But what a nice opportunity for you! By the way, you said you were celebrating. What’s the occasion?”

  Dante finally believed it wasn’t her that had arranged it, but he was still very suspicious that she knew something and was keeping it from him. He also knew she was not going to tell him anything. What was she hiding and why did she look so worried? His gut was unsettled about all of this. I wonder if this is the Holy Ghost telling me something is off, he pondered silently. He noticed his mom was watching him and realized she was waiting for an answer to her question.

  “Oh. Well, I have decided to be baptized into the Mormon church,” he said, attempting confidence while expecting her to freak out. She didn’t seem surprised or upset though.

  “I figured it was just a matter of time,” she answered, “since you two got serious. How do you feel about it?”

  “I’m not doing it for Beth. I have had some powerful experiences that taught me there is a God and He cares about me; about all of us. And I believe the Church teaches truth.” Dante hadn’t really spoken those words out loud before, and as he did, a calmness settled over him.

  “If this makes you happy and is your own choice, not pressured by Beth or her family, then I support you, my boy.” Ella hugged her son and noticed he was grinning. “What’s funny?” she asked.

  “Beth didn’t even know I was being taught by the missionaries until yesterday, after I had decided to be baptized. I wanted to figure it out on my own without getting her hopes up. And besides, her parents had us make promises to each other and them when we started dating. Beth had to promise not to pressure me about the Church. And, well,” he paused considering how to word it and decided to be frank – they’d always had open dialogue about the topic. “I had to promise no pressure for sex.”

  He laughed at that awkward memory while his mom was surprised at the bluntness of Beth’s parents. It had surprised Dante and Beth too. “Although Beth is sure making it hard to keep my promise sometimes!” They both laughed at that. “I truly love her, Mom” he added tenderly, making Ella tear up.

  “She is a sweet girl. I’m happy for you, my boy.” She squeezed his hand and said, “I’m going to nap. I’ll let you go back to sleep.”

  “I need to get ready for church. The Blacks will be picking me up soon.”

  “Oh, that’s right. I love you, my boy. I’m so sorry for last night.” Sincerity filled both of Ella’s statements.

  “Love you too, Mom. See you later tonight.”

  Ella and Dante parted ways, going about their own plans. The rest of the day was typical for Dante – church, Beth’s for dinner and hanging out, home, and getting ready for school the next day. And the following week was uneventful, just preparing for the end of school, and learning from the missionaries to get ready for his baptism. They had set the date for June twenty first, which seemed a long way off.

  Dante had also become quite involved with the Young Men’s program at Church. He had gone on a weekend camp with them and was getting to know the youth well. He could still tell that some of the guys were not impressed that he, an outsider, had won Beth’s heart, but they had all been kind to him. A couple of the girls, Dante also noticed, were attempting to get his attention, but his heart, and eyes, were only for Beth.

  While Dante’s life seemed to be getting better and better, Ella was struggling. He had heard her yelling on the phone a lot; a few times she had not come home for days, only texting him to let him know. He had even found her with bruises and limping one day. She had been standing on a chair reaching to put something high on a shelf in her closet and her shirt lifted at the back, revealing large purple bruises. When he questioned her about it, she claimed she had been wearing really high heels and slipped going down some stairs. Her eyes showed she was hiding something, but she would not say anything further.

  “Are you taking pain meds again?” Dante questioned her one day, concerned. Ella wasn’t expecting his directness, but she admitted she had taken some from a friend when she “fell” but did not bring any home. She had been doing so well staying clean and Dante feared this would erase all of that.

  “I know what you’re thinking; I am being very careful with the meds and my friend is holding me accountable. You don’t need to worry, my boy. I’ll be ok,” she ineffectively tried to reassure her son. He had learned it is a slippery slope with addiction, and his mom seemed to be sliding.

  The end of the school year came with celebrations, parties, and excitement for a summer of fun. Dante had done well in his classes, obviously acing his culinary arts course. Next school year he could work as a cook getting experience before entering culinary school. He remembered his change of plans to put off schooling so his mom could get into a new type of work. That was disappointing to him, but it was more important to get her out. He hadn’t told her yet. She would fight him for sure, but he had a year to convince her.

  Faster than expected, the week leading to his baptism arrived. He had to meet with Elder Hansen for an interview to ensure he was prepared. It was a relatively straight forward interview with questions to see if he understood the teachings, and if he agreed to follow the standards of the Church, such as the Word of Wisdom, by not consuming alcohol, tobacco, coffee and tea, or any illegal drugs, as well as keeping what the Church called the Law of Chastity. He was committed to following all of that. It was one of the last questions that caught him off guard.

  “Have you been involved in or assisted anyone in having an abortion?” Elder Hansen delicately asked.

  “What?” Dante’s mind was racing but he didn’t know how to form the words. Apparently, his face was speaking for him. Elder Hansen repeated the question, even more gently this time.

  “Dante?” the missionary asked when he saw the strained expression.

  Taking a deep breath, Dante finally spoke, “Yes. I have. Does that mean I can’t be baptized now?”

  It was Elder Hansen’s turn to be surprised. “I will need to call the mission President. Please wait here, Dante.” Trying to show more compassion than concern, Elder Hansen left the room, leaving Dante resting his head in his hands. Alone.

  CHAPTER 15

  The room was cool and quiet. Tracing the lines on the large wooden table in front of him only lasted so long. He tried to distract himself by counting the white bricks that made up each wall, and then counting again; he noticed the burlap-like wall coverings on the bottom half of the walls – an odd choice for interior design, he thought carelessly.

  The black office chair he was sitting in was on wheels and could tip back. He had discovered this when he went to stretch and felt like he was going to flip the chair over backwards; it then became a challenge to see how far back he could tip the chair without feeling like it was going to go all the way over. He was carefully pushing himself back with just the tips of his toes, making it further than he had before, when Elder Hansen returned to the room, startling Dante, and making him almost fall.

  After giving him a weird look, Elder Hansen said, “Sorry to keep you waiting, Dante. I spoke to the Mission President, and he would like to meet with you to discuss this. It’s a serious issue and it’s beyond what I’m trained to deal with. The mission office isn’t far from here and he said he will come right away. Maybe another ten-minute wait. I’m really sorry, Dante.”

  Dante tried asking what it might mean for him being baptized but Elder Hansen couldn’t answer him. It was awkwardly tense in the small room and Dante was feeling concerned about what might happen, and what Beth will think when she finds out.

  She was waiting in the foyer for him to finish his interview. It had taken much longer than usual, and when she saw the Mission President arrive, her stomach dropped. What is going on? she fretted.

  President Thompson went directly to the meeting room, introduced himself, and excused Elder Hansen. Beth tried to get answers from the missionary, but he couldn’t tell her anything.

  Sitting down across the table from Dante, President Thompson began, “So I hear we have run into an obstacle?”

  Dante shrugged and answered, “I guess so. I don’t really know what is going on.”

  “Well, Dante, God holds life as very sacred, and He alone is the One to say when a life should end. He has laid out very specific circumstances where the decision to abort a life is acceptable. And it is my responsibility to find out your involvement in the ending of a life, and how that will impact your membership in the Church. So, I need to ask you some difficult questions.”

  “Ok,” Dante replied, feeling discouraged and a bit sick.

  “When did this abortion take place?” the President inquired.

  “About a year-and-a-half ago.”

  “Were you there when it happened?”

  “Well, I was in the waiting room.”

  President Thompson nodded seriously. “Did you pay for all or part of the abortion?”

  “No. None of it.”

  “Did you suggest, encourage, or pressure the mother into having the abortion?”

  “Kind of, I guess.” Dante felt like he had a spiked golf ball stuck in his throat. He had wanted to never think about that experience again and couldn’t believe it was now threatening to mess up his life one more time.

  “I didn’t pressure her,” he assured the President, “but I made my opinion very clear that she would ruin the child’s life if she kept it. It wouldn’t be fair for another child to be raised this way. She agreed; it was actually her idea, and she only told me because she thought I should know. I wish she had just done it without telling me. She got herself into this situation; I didn’t really need to know or be involved.” Dante’s voice was bitter and distant.

  President Thompson seemed upset by Dante’s answer. “Dante, as the father of a child, even an unborn child, it is just as much your responsibility as the mother’s. You also made the choices that led to the pregnancy.”

  “WHAT?” Dante stammered.

  President Thompson continued, firmer. “It is wrong for you to deny your own part in this. That is not God’s way. You made choices that led to the creation of life, and you need to...”

  “Wait!” Dante exclaimed in interruption, shaking his head in disbelief and disgust. He tried to calm himself, but his voice was intense, “I am not the father!”

  That caught President Thompson off guard. “You’re not?”

  “No!”

  “Then what is your connection to the mother?”

  “The ‘mother’ is MY mother!” Dante shot back.

  “Oh!” The Mission President was without words long enough for Dante to realize there was a huge misunderstanding he needed to clarify.

  Dante was breathing heavily, upset by the assumptions and scolding from the president, yet trying not to further jeopardize his chance of getting baptized. Opting for full transparency, he explained, “My mother is a professional escort and found herself pregnant, again, and claimed she didn’t know who the father was, again. She had a hard enough time raising me, she’s not capable of raising another one. Also, it isn’t safe.”

 

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