Crossing kingdoms las ve.., p.16
Crossing Kingdoms--Las Vegas, page 16
“Thank you,” Dante managed to say.
Giving him a moment to regain his composure, Tanis turned to the others. “You must be Kim and Beth. It’s a pleasure to meet you both.”
Shaking hands and pleasantries concluded, Tanis sat down, pulled a file out of her large designer bag, and placed it on the table; her impeccably manicured hands resting on top. “Dante, I don’t want to overstep your wishes, but I want you to know I am prepared to arrange and finance a funeral or celebration of life for your mom. She had made me executrix of her will and indicated some of her wishes to me. Do you have anything specific you would like to do or see happen for her funeral?”
Dante shook his head. “I have no idea. I’ve never been to a funeral before and so I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to think about it, but it’s still so unreal to me.”
Tanis reached out and compassionately held Dante’s arm. “I know, hun. And that’s ok. We are here to help with everything.” Pulling out a page from the folder and giving it to Dante, she explained to all of them, “Because of Ella’s love of old classic movies, we thought it would be fitting to have a celebration of life with the theme of her favorite, Gone with the Wind. We have access to a local country club where it can be held in their ballroom, having a program of music and memories, with a reception afterwards, and have Gone with the Wind playing on a projection screen in the background. What do you think of that?” She was hopeful Dante would be happy with this.
“That’s really nice of you. And I’m okay with what you suggested. But ...” he paused trying to be tactful, “and I mean no offense by this, but I do not want any mention of her work. Her choice of employment created a very difficult life for me. And if I am to celebrate her and her life, I will not celebrate that part. I do not want to hear stories about what she did on the job. You and the other women can have your own gathering if you want to reminisce about work.”
Tanis showed no indication of offense or irritation. She was perfectly composed and professionally compassionate. She seemed sincere but Dante had a sense that under the practiced persona was a woman that was fierce and possibly ferocious. He wondered what it would take to awaken that side of her, and he didn’t want to find out.
Pleasantly smiling, Tanis nodded, “I understand and will ensure the ladies respect your wishes.”
Another twenty minutes of discussion determined that because of the ongoing investigation of the cause of Ella’s death, and the uncertainty of when her body would be released, they would go ahead with the memorial service the following weekend.
Tanis would be the emcee and would arrange the location and food, as well as the program. One of Ella and Tanis’ friends was a performer and would be asked to provide some musical numbers. There would be some time allotted for Dante and the Black’s to speak if they feel up to it that day. All costs would be paid by Tanis, and a car would be sent to drive Dante and the Black’s. Tanis would also arrange for an obituary to be placed in the local newspaper, as well as in Ella’s hometown paper.
After some hesitation, Dante agreed to let Tanis notify Ella’s parents of her passing so they would have the option to come to the memorial, if they desired. Dante had still never spoken to his grandparents – the only family he knew of. Would they want to know him? Would he want to know them, even though they turned their backs on his mom and him? He wasn’t sure; it was all so overwhelming to him.
The rest of the weekend was spent trying to smother grief with distractions – movies, games, water fights. Dante’s first Sunday at Church since his baptism was distracting and difficult. He was happy to focus on his new covenants and take in the peace found there. Church had always felt peaceful to him, but it was more pronounced now. A crisper connection to Christ.
However, word had spread about his mom’s death and people were wanting to share their love and condolences with him. Keeping his emotions reigned in felt like trying to plug a hose with his nose – he could do it briefly, but then he would start to choke. Beth and Kim stuck by his side and quickly changed the topic when they could see the pressure building in him, for which he was deeply grateful.
The next week was a blur. Saturday, and the memorial, was upon them faster than Dante was ready for. How would he ever be ready to say goodbye to his mom? He arrived a half-hour early with the Black family. There was a secondary door he would come through with Beth by his side once everyone else was seated; he would meet and greet the guests after the ceremony was over.
Tanis was the perfect hostess, welcoming everyone, and had some help ushering and directing people. Dante and Beth could see out to the room from where they waited, watching for anyone he might know. There were many people, but Dante only recognized maybe ten faces – co-workers and friends of Ella’s. Several he did not know were grouped together in quiet conversation.
The missionaries were there; he was grateful for that as Elder Hansen was leaving the mission in a few days. Another goodbye. So much loss in his life; his breath caught in his throat, and he fought to hold himself together.
Beth noticed Tanis had moved to a semi-private corner and was having an intense conversation with a tall man. He was clearly emotional, with glistening eyes and exhaustion in his face – an exhaustion that comes from deep grief and pain.
“Do you know who that man is that Tanis is talking to?” Beth whispered to Dante, drawing him out of a daze.
He had been captured in the world of memories that endlessly engulfed his mind. Straining his eyes to focus on the man Tanis was with, Dante shook his head. “No, I don’t know who that is. I feel like I have seen him before, but I have no idea who he is.”
“He looks intense,” Beth said quietly as they drifted back to their own thoughts.
Dante gave a grunt of acknowledgement and turned his eyes back to the entrance where guests continued to trickle in. It was almost time to start. Just then, Dante sat up straight in his chair as he saw a couple timidly look for a seat. The woman was probably the most conservatively dressed in the room, wearing a high-necked, long sleeve dress suit and pearls; brown hair pulled back into a tight bun. The man wore a dark grey shirt with a grey and blue tie, and black slacks.
The epitome of grieving parents, the woman clutching her handbag was directed by her husband’s hand on her lower back. Dante knew they were his grandparents. He had seen old pictures his mom had, and easily recognized their aged faces. Beth sensed the change in Dante and followed his stare.
“Are those ...” Beth started.
“Ya, that’s my mom’s parents,” Dante confirmed. “I can’t believe they came!”
Tanis and the man she was talking with noticed Ella’s parents come in. Clearly both of them recognized the couple; the man looked angry at seeing them. With a squeeze on his arm, Tanis pointed for him to sit down. She took a deep breath, straightened her skirt and blouse, and approached the couple with her perfected charm. Showing them to seats near the front of the room, Tanis took her seat near the podium, giving the unspoken message the service was about to begin and for the guests to be seated.
The piano music, which had been quietly playing, became more pronounced, bringing a hush over the room and signalling Dante and Beth to join the congregation. Holding hands and hardly breathing, they found enough combined courage to face the pain, and the staring eyes. Dante looked at his grandparents who had been seated on the far side of the room from him – Thank you, Tanis. When his grandmother saw him, she began weeping in her handkerchief, leaning into her husband for support. Making eye contact with his grandfather, Dante managed a meager smile, which was returned with a nod.
Tanis began the meeting by welcoming everyone and giving special mention to Ella’s parents from out of town, others who had travelled distances, and of course Dante, Beth, and the Black family. She had prepared a creative compilation of Ella’s life history, sharing stories Ella had told her about her childhood and adolescence; a small-town girl and her journey to explore the world.
Tanis was very careful in her description of Ella’s work, speaking in generalities about being a loyal employee and beloved co-worker. She also mentioned Ella’s battle with addiction and how she had worked incredibly hard to find lasting sobriety and recovery. Nothing was spoken about the fact that Ella was found with pills and alcohol appearing to be her demise.
“Ella’s greatest achievement and deepest joy was in raising and loving ‘her boy’, Dante,” Tanis concluded. “She was incredibly proud of the man you have become, Dante. She often would say ‘My boy is good, kind-hearted, funny, talented, and strong, with just enough fire in him to keep life exciting and passionate.’ Her eyes would sparkle as she talked about her boy. You were her treasure.”
Even the calm and collected Tanis got choked up at that. “Would you like to come up and share with us Dante?” With tears in his eyes, he nodded and rose. “When Dante is finished, we will have a musical number by Rhea, What a Wonderful World, as it was one of Ella’s favorites; she saw such beauty in our world. Then we will open the microphone to anyone who would like to pay tribute to her. We ask that no work stories be told, as this is a tribute to Ella as a person, not her work. Thank you.”
Tanis gave Dante a quick hug, then sat down as he grasped the podium, gathering his thoughts and strength. The room was silent, except for the hum of air conditioning. He felt dizzy and surreal. Overheating inside yet cold to touch, he was sweating while his mouth and throat were as dry as the Mojave Desert.
With a prayer in his heart, he began. “Hi, everyone. Thanks for coming.” He had thought a lot about what he would say but had not decided on specifics. His grief had been so profound, most of what he had thought of were the great memories they’d shared and the fact that he wouldn’t get anymore with her.
Now, standing in front of a crowd he hardly knew, who shared the part of his mom’s life he had hated, and which ultimately took her from him, all he felt was anger. Anger at his childhood of neglect; anger at the bullying he endured; anger at his hunger; anger at his loneliness, his worry, his loss. He could feel the piercing pain in his chest increasing as he stood there in his anger.
Dante knew he had a choice – let the anger come now, making everyone uncomfortable, or contain it again to allow a peaceful environment and a more positive memory. The anger was so demanding, but he chose peace, for now. Anger would have it’s time soon enough.
Summoning strength, he spoke again, “My life with my mom was not an easy one, but I know she loved me. The time we spent together was either fun or relaxing; we got along really well – most of the time.” He continued with sharing some memories from his childhood – going to the park or getting ice cream on special occasions; watching movies together, taking turns picking his choices or hers, which were almost always the classics.
“The older I got, the less time we could spend together but our relationship had started to change into a real friendship. She cheered me on in my dreams and encouraged me to have fun whenever I can. Although she was a bit concerned in my choice of a girlfriend so vastly different from herself, Mom quickly came to love Beth and her family, just like I do. The Blacks have become family to me, and I am very thankful for their kindness and open hearts.” He was starting to choke up again.
“My life will never be the same without her, but I KNOW I will see Mom again. I love you, Mom,” he whispered and quickly returned to his seat where Beth wrapped her arms around him, letting his teary face be buried in her hair. Most of the room was in tears hearing Dante speak.
Taking most of the eyes off Dante, Rhea glided to the microphone in a long, hunter green spaghetti strap dress. It was a perfect compliment to her burnt umber hair. Her voice was a rich, silky sound as she sang, putting so much emotion in it that the descriptions in the song became clear pictures in each mind.
Following the song, a stream of people came up to pay tribute to Ella and everyone of them reaffirmed that Ella deeply loved her boy. Ella’s parents did not speak; they simply sat in silent sorrow. Dante felt nervous to meet them.
After about thirty minutes, all the tributes concluded, and a closing musical number was performed. Fittingly they chose Frank Sinatra’s My Way. Tanis wrapped up the meeting and invited the guests to enjoy refreshments in the next room and mingle while Gone With the Wind played in the background.
It was done; Dante was relieved, and a bit sick. Many people came up to him with condolences, expressions of kindness for his mom, and well wishes for his future. Beth stood close to his side, hand on his back, and a pleasant smile stuck to her face. Dante’s grandparents hung back until everyone else had spoken with him. He had been awkwardly aware of their presence, wondering if he would have to approach them. But they came to him.
“Hello, Dante. I’m Caroline, your grandmother. This is your grandfather, Bruce,” she spoke with a soft trembling voice, mixed with sorrow and nervous anticipation.
Dante extended his hand to each of them. “Hi. Thank you for coming. It’s nice to finally meet you.” His voice held a touch of resentment that didn’t go unnoticed by the couple.
“I’m Beth,” she joined in, trying to break some of the tension. “Would you like to join my family at the table for refreshments?”
“Thank you, dear. That would be lovely,” Caroline responded.
Introductions were made and Bruce got his wife some food as she sat down beside Kim. They spoke of where the couple was staying, for how long, and what their plans were; Kim was very good at small talk. She also invited them to come to the Black’s home for dinner after the memorial, to which they graciously accepted.
Guests continued to mingle for another half hour or so, and began to trickle out, quickly saying goodbye to Dante and then Tanis. The man Tanis had been heatedly talking to before the memorial was with her again, and Dante saw him discretely hand a small envelope to her, which was quickly tucked away into her handbag.
The man looked over at Dante, not realizing he was being watched. Something flashed across the man’s face when he made eye contact with Dante, but it quickly disappeared. He gave Dante a nod, turned to Tanis and said goodbye with a kiss on her cheek. She looked back at Dante with a sad tenderness which was interrupted by the last guests leaving.
Dante walked over to Tanis where she was talking with the country club staff. Turning to him with a kind smile, she said, “You did it. You made it through wonderfully, Dante. I’m really proud of you. That was hard stuff!”
Nodding in full agreement, Dante replied, “Ya. That was really hard. Thank you for everything, Tanis. It was a nice memorial, but I’m glad it’s over.” He was exhausted.
“Before you leave, Dante, I have two things for you.” Walking over to a table near the entrance, Tanis handed him a box full of cards. “Some of these are simply condolence cards. But most of them will have money inside. Several people wanted to help you out in some way. Be prepared for some large donations. Your mom was well loved and that extends to you.” She smiled warmly and then spoke in a more hushed tone.
Pulling an envelope from her purse, the same one Dante saw the man hand to her, Tanis kept hold of it while she spoke. “This you need to read privately. I know you likely share everything with Beth, but please keep this one to yourself. I can’t explain why. You will learn that soon enough. There will be a request in here to meet with a lawyer and you need to do that alone. Once you get more information, you can decide how much to tell Beth.” The seriousness in her voice was intense.
Dante was confused, and more than a little unsettled. “Who is the man that gave that to you?” he asked suspiciously.
“I can’t tell you. I’m sorry,” Tanis responded. She could see that really upset Dante, so she quickly added, “Part of this business, well, most of it, requires extreme confidentiality and anonymity. Your mom had some connections that were very ...” she paused, looking for the right word, “... sensitive. Complex.”
“So, you want me to go meet with some anonymous person and you won’t tell me why? How do I even know this is safe? I’m positive my mom didn’t die by her own hand.”
That declaration surprised Tanis. “Why would you say that?” she questioned.
“Because I know my mom and where she was with her sobriety. We were making plans for her to get out of this awful business. She was doing so good! And now she’s dead! Out of nowhere!” He was yelling now, all of his pent-up stress from the day came blasting out. The Blacks and his grandparents were watching them closely, and Beth came to see what was happening.
Regaining her composure, Tanis said, “I can’t even begin to understand what you are going through, Dante. But I have known and loved your mom longer than you have been alive. She has trusted me to see her wishes fulfilled, and her boy cared for. This ...” she handed him the envelope, “is one way I need to do that. Please, Dante. Please trust me like your mom did. This is important and will make sense eventually. I promise.”
Dante could hear an almost desperation in her voice. He tried to calm himself and listen to his instincts. “Ok,” he resigned, taking the envelope. “I’ll do what you ask, for now. But I expect answers soon.”
Relieved, Tanis hugged Dante. “Thank you, Dante. You will get some answers, I promise. Now go, get to know your grandparents, and relax for a few days. You did amazing today.” Turning to Beth, Tanis hugged her and whispered in her ear, “Thank you for supporting Dante. He is fortunate to have you. Take care of Ella’s boy.”
“Thank you. I’ll do my best,” Beth answered quietly, still wondering what happened between Dante and Tanis. Putting her arms around him after Tanis glided off to say goodbye to the Blacks and Ella’s parents, Beth searched his eyes. “Are you ok? What happened?”
Dante held her close, tucking his face in her silky, lavender scented hair and breathing her in. She was nourishment to his being, and he felt famished. “I’m ok,” he sighed in her ear, his lips gently feathering through her hair to her skin. Chills exploded over each of them.
