Crossing kingdoms las ve.., p.19
Crossing Kingdoms--Las Vegas, page 19
Becoming very emotional in her prayer, she opened her scriptures to a random part of the Book of Mormon and began reading. Finding herself in the book of Alma, the 53rd chapter described a group of young men that were referred to as the Stripling Warriors. These young men had volunteered to fight in a fierce battle to protect their families, communities, and liberty. She read,
And they were all young men, and they were exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all – they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted.
Pausing to ponder on that, the words “he is” floated out of her lips, bringing a warm shiver to her skin. That is Dante, she thought to herself and began to recognize this was an answer to her prayer. God was trying to give her comfort to know that Dante will be ok. He is strong and resilient and has such a good heart. As she was thinking of her own stripling warrior, her phone buzzed with his smiling face on a video call. She could see he was in bed too.
“Hey, beautiful. Whatcha doing?”
She told him she had been reading her scriptures and shared what she had read about the young warriors. “They remind me of you. And God confirmed to me of your strength, courage, and goodness. It was a really sweet experience.”
Dante was shaking his head. Though he appreciated her kind words, he struggled to accept her praise. “You are too generous with your view of me.”
“No, you are amazing. And God just confirmed that!” she responded emphatically. They talked for a few more minutes and then Dante put some music on for them to listen to.
Lying quietly in separate beds, they felt close to each other, yet worlds apart. Dante was having a hard time keeping his eyes open as exhaustion from the day settled on him. Beth was watching him through the screen, and once he finally fell asleep, she whispered a quiet, “Goodnight. I love you,” and disconnected the call. Holding on to the image of him sleeping kept her peaceful as she slid into her own slumber.
CHAPTER 23
Beth slept so deeply through Thursday morning she didn’t hear her phone ringing, missing a call and text from Dante letting her know he had another meeting to go to that morning, but no further information. She didn’t wake up until close to 1pm.
Trying to call him back as soon as she saw the notification proved fruitless as his phone went straight to a generic outgoing message, and her texts could not be delivered. She found that particularly strange but pushed it aside as she rolled out of bed and went to get food. Her mom had some chores for her to do that kept her busy most of the afternoon, and though she kept checking her phone, there was no contact from Dante, leaving her feeling extremely uneasy.
Kim picked up on her daughter’s distraction, and once she learned what was going on she tried to ease Beth’s mind. “Let’s wait until after dinner, and if you still haven’t heard from him, we’ll go see if he’s at home. Ok?”
Beth nodded reluctantly but didn’t like waiting at all. The next two hours of housework and dinner passed excruciatingly slow. There was still no word from Dante and texts still couldn’t be delivered. So, as soon as dinner was done, Beth and her parents drove to Dante’s new home. Kim and Eric were stunned at the luxury. Beth used the key Dante gave her the previous night to get into the condo. How grateful she was for that key now!
Dante wasn’t home; there was hardly any indication that anyone lived there at all. You could tell it had just been cleaned. Even Dante’s bed was impeccably made, which was not usual for him – or most teenage boys for that matter. Beth’s heart was racing as she wondered and imagined where he might be or what might have happened to him.
“Beth, honey. There’s a letter here for you,” Eric called from the kitchen.
A note folded with her name on it sat on the counter, with Dante’s car keys on top. The three of them gathered around the kitchen counter as Beth opened the letter. Kim and Eric looked between each other and their daughter as she silently read. Staring longer at the letter than it took to read, Beth had frozen.
“What is it, honey?” Kim asked. When Beth didn’t answer, Kim gently slid the note out of her hands and read it with Eric.
Dear Beth,
I am so sorry to do this, but something has come up and I have to leave. I can’t get into it, and I don’t know when I will be back. I won’t be able to contact you while I am gone. You can use my car and the condo whenever you want. Again, I’m so sorry. I know you will be worried. I am ok. Really. I wish I could say more. I love you and I hope to see you very soon.
Dante
Beth looked around the condo. “He’s gone,” she whispered and wandered aimlessly, seeking nothing. “Gone?” It came out as a question of unbelief at hearing her own voice speak the word. She paused at Dante’s bedroom door, walked to his closet, and ran her fingers along the few shirts remaining. Dante apparently hadn’t had time to pack all of his things. Grabbing one of her favorites that he wore, she hugged the shirt close; it smelled like him. Sitting on his bed, she suddenly noticed her parents standing in the doorway. “He’s gone,” she said again, this time to them as though they didn’t know.
Tears began pooling in her eyes as her mom came to sit with her, holding her close. “We know, honey. I’m sure he will be back soon.” Kim barely believed her own words as she heard her feeble attempt to comfort her daughter.
Shaking her head, Beth cried out, “Why would he do this? What if something is wrong? He had a meeting this morning and now he’s gone! What should we do Mom?”
“We wait, for a bit,” Kim said softly. “It’s not like he has disappeared. He left a note telling you he is going to be away for a bit. That’s all we can do right now.” Kim felt helpless at her daughter’s desperation, as well as her own concern for Dante. She could only pray he comes home soon, or at least contacts them. This was an incredibly strange situation.
It took some time for Beth to gather herself enough to be willing to leave. Her parents wouldn’t let her stay the night at the condo like she wanted. Home was the best place for her, they reassured, but it wasn’t bringing her much comfort. All she could think about was the memories of Dante at her place, and now he was gone.
Worry did consume her; how could it not? He had been through so much, and with the shocking turn of events about his father and suspicion around his mom’s death, Beth was very concerned for his safety. She couldn’t imagine what would cause him to leave without even saying goodbye to her. No, he tried to say goodbye and I slept through it. That realization broke her heart all over again.
Beth hardly slept that night, tossing and turning, getting herself almost frantic imagining where he might be. Just before dawn, she surrendered to the exhaustion from her crying and slept until two the next afternoon. As soon as she woke, she tried to call Dante’s cell phone, only to find it was still disconnected. Lacking the energy to cry anymore, she got out of bed and sought refuge in her family. But they were not home.
A note on the counter said, Gone to water park with the kids. Be back around 2:00. – Mom. Finding a note on the kitchen counter in her empty home brought the despair flooding back from the day before. She collapsed on the floor, more tears finding their escape from her tightly closed eyes, hugging the crumpled note to her aching chest. It was now after two. Where were they? Panic started to climb her throat as a voice in her mind told her everyone she loves is leaving her.
Moments later, her family arrived home and found her in a ball on the kitchen floor. Kim rushed to her daughter and wrapped her in a protective embrace. Beth sobbed into her mother’s arms, “Mom, don’t leave me too! Please don’t leave me!”
Lillian and Jake stood staring at their sister, not knowing what to do. They had never seen her like this before. Kim waved them away to give Beth some privacy while she gained her composure.
Eventually Kim got her up sitting at the table, bringing her a glass of juice. They sat in silence for several minutes when Beth finally spoke. “I’m sorry, Mom. I don’t know what happened. As soon as I read your note, it was like I was back at Dante’s, reliving losing him all over again. And then I was on the floor.” Beth shook her head in astonishment at her own behavior.
Kim rested a reassuring hand on Beth’s arm. “It’s ok honey. That was your body and mind responding to trauma. You will be ok. But two things – First, Dante didn’t leave you. He will be back. And second, I am not leaving you either. I didn’t think my note would trigger you like that. I apologize. I will make sure I talk to you before I go anywhere next time.”
Beth nodded over her glass of juice, feeling marginally better. The rest of the day she tried to keep herself busy by doing housework and playing games with her siblings. She felt shaky and struggled to concentrate, often not noticing when someone was talking to her. This continued for several days.
Word had started to spread about Dante’s mysterious disappearance and Beth’s friends rallied around her. At first, they would come and sit with her while they quietly watched movies each day. Beth didn’t want to talk but appreciated the company. After about a week, her two best friends, Jess and Kat, convinced her to come to the end of summer activity with their youth group.
Beth was anxious about going to that, knowing people would ask her about Dante. But she didn’t want to hide anymore. So, she practiced one-line or one-word answers to all the questions she thought she might be asked. And to her surprise, at the beginning of the activity Jess made an announcement to everyone that was incredibly helpful.
“Ok, everyone! Here’s what you need to know so you don’t have to bug Beth with a ton of annoying questions. Dante has gone away for a bit. Where he is and when he is coming back is yet to be determined. That’s all you need to know. If you ask Beth how she feels about it, I will stomp on your foot and ask how you feel. That is the answer you will get, I promise. So don’t ask the obvious. Clear? Good! Let’s have fun!”
Most of the youth laughed, a bit awkwardly, but gave Beth the space she needed. Beth was slightly embarrassed, yet deeply grateful for her friend. She ended up having a great night playing games with her peers and enjoying the barbeque. Spending the evening with friends helped build confidence within her, feeling she could face the new school year that started in only a few days. Of course, she hoped Dante would be back before school started, but she had a feeling disappointment would find her yet again.
Monday morning came quickly. It was her senior year and Beth was excited for the fun that would be happening leading up to graduation; there was a palpable energy among her classmates. However, as much as she had tried to prepare herself for Dante not being there, walking into her culinary arts class and sitting down beside the empty chair that should have been his struck a sharp pain in her heart.
The teacher called Dante’s name for attendance and everyone in the class turned to look at Beth. Fighting the tears in her eyes, Beth could only shrug her shoulders to say she didn’t know where he was. A few whispers rippled through the room and Beth clung to the underside of the table until class was done. Thankfully, it was only a safety lecture, and she didn’t have to interact with anyone. She had her books and bag packed up so that as soon as the bell rang, she could quickly slip out the back door. It was her last class of the day, and she just wanted to go home. Being a Monday, she was looking forward to the family night they would be having. Distractions were helpful, especially fun ones.
The week passed and there was still no word from Dante. Beth’s sadness was turning into frustration at his extended silence. Why couldn’t he even text her to just say something? Anything!
On Sunday, she got her wish, waking up to a text from a number she didn’t recognize that only said: I’m ok. – D.
She tried to reply but got a message saying her text could not be delivered. This frustrated her even more, although she was relieved to know he was ok. If that was even him at all, she silently grumbled. Why was he being so secretive? What could he be involved in that requires shutting down cell phones after one text? Beth’s stomach was in knots. When she told her parents about the text from Dante, she saw a look pass between them that left her even more frustrated.
“I suppose if he has managed to text that, he probably still won’t be home for a while,” Kim gently said. “Otherwise, he probably would have said ‘be home soon’ or something like that.” Beth’s eyes brimmed with tears. “I’m so sorry, honey. I know this is incredibly hard,” Kim tried to comfort her daughter.
Eric spoke up, “I think you need to try and put it out of your mind, as much as you can.” As Beth started to protest, Eric quickly continued, “I know that is almost impossible, but if you can try and focus on your school and enjoying all of the activities that are coming up, you will start to feel better.”
“I don’t want to feel better! I just want him back!” Beth yelled and ran to her room. The tears overcame her, and she sobbed into her pillow, though in her mind, she knew her dad was right. She missed Dante so deeply it felt like there was no end to its vastness, but she didn’t want to live like this anymore; it could be months before he comes back, for all she knew. She hated the thought of that, and worried about how this would impact Dante’s schooling. Determination was building within her, and she resolved to gain control of her mind, if not her heart. Beth was not going to spend her senior year crying over a boy; no matter how much she loved and missed him!
CHAPTER 24
Over the next few weeks, Beth poured herself into her schoolwork, spending time with her friends, or at the part time job she got at a local café. Keeping herself busy and trying to have fun each day really helped, but the nights were hard, although she didn’t cry herself to sleep anymore.
Not everyone was upset at Dante’s absence, however. After a month had passed since Dante left, Beth started getting texts from a couple of other guys. She didn’t think much of it at first, but she eventually began to realize these were more than just friendly texts, especially when she was around them. Their flirting was becoming blatantly obvious.
Beth was deeply conflicted inside. Her heart was fully devoted to Dante, but her mind, and the opinion of others, was wondering how she can be in a relationship with someone who is missing, with no idea when they might come back. She knew she was not going to have a different boyfriend; she didn’t want one. But she agreed to go on group dates with her friends. Going to the movies, bowling, or the beach felt innocent enough to her, and she had a lot of fun.
The heaviness in her heart was lifting; though she still missed Dante, her mind was not consumed with him anymore. Two-and-a-half months had passed since the last mysterious text came from him. She also had to accept a new partner in her culinary arts class. That was hard for her, and awkward for her partner, but they both adapted relatively well. With so much time passing and nothing suggesting he might come home soon, Beth was rebuilding her life without Dante. And she was happy; perhaps begrudgingly, but happy, nonetheless.
Part of that happiness was from a deepening friendship with Brock, one of the young men from church. They had been on a few group dates together and always had fun; he made her laugh, a lot. He was not pushy like some of the other guys were, and he never made negative or sarcastic comments or jokes about Dante being gone. He had shown true friendship to Dante when he started coming to church and was baptized.
Brock and Beth’s time together was simply easy, and Beth was grateful for that; she enjoyed being with him. And although it was not as strong as the connection she had with Dante, she felt drawn to Brock. When she allowed herself to be honest, butterflies were emerging from the cocoon of her heart whenever they were together.
Beth had made it clear to everyone that she was waiting for Dante to come home and had no intention of having a relationship with anyone else. Brock seemed to understand and did not pressure her about anything. He had never even tried to hold her hand. She could sense that he wanted to, and secretly she did too. But it felt like a betrayal to Dante, wherever he might be.
One evening, Beth was at a movie night at Brock’s house with their friends. She and Brock were sitting close together, almost what could be considered cuddling. Beth’s phone buzzed. Her heart almost stopped when she saw another unknown number and four brief lines: Still OK. Still can’t call. Still can’t come. Still miss you. – D.
She sat frozen and not breathing for almost an entire minute, while her mind raced, and a lump grew in her throat. I need to get out of here! she frantically thought to herself. She didn’t want to make a scene or have to answer any questions. Managing to give Brock a smile, who sensed the tension in her, she discretely found a bathroom upstairs and away from the group of friends.
Grabbing a towel to bury her face in just as a sob choked from her, she dropped to the floor trembling. Her mind could not form any coherent thoughts, so she just allowed her body to cry on the floor as silently as possible.
After a few minutes there was a knock on the door. “Beth? Are you ok?” Brock gently asked in concern.
With as much calmness she could collect in her voice, she replied a quick, “Yep.” She hoped that would be enough to convince Brock she was fine, but it wasn’t.
A few minutes later, after trying to remove the redness and evidence of crying from her face with cold water, Beth emerged from the bathroom, fully expecting to be able to get back to the movie with minimal attention being paid to her. But Brock was waiting at the end of the hall for her with questioning eyes. “Oh, hi,” she stopped walking in awkward surprise.
