Can you hear it, p.22
Can You Hear It, page 22
“When was the last time the two of us hung out?” he asked.
“Let’s just go to my house. Dad and I were going to watch the game, anyway. It starts in two hours, and we could chill until then.”
“You’re just scared to see A. Mozey because you have the shits,” he argued.
Averie was working at Darlene’s today, and it was always fun to go see her and mess with her while she was at work, but I didn’t want to do that today.
“I’m not scared to see her. Besides, I don’t have the shits—anymore.”
“Dude, you stayed away from her at school for like half of last week.” He pushed the button on the stereo, searching for another channel. “I bet you’ve never taken a dump when she’s around.”
“I don’t think I could do that, dude. That’s way too personal. Have you ever done that?”
“Hell yeah, all the time. I shit anywhere.”
I laughed and shook my head. “Nope, see, that’s why we need to be roommates. Averie can stay in my room, but then I’ll have the option to go to your room when I need to take a dump.”
“Fuck that.” Ryker laughed. “Oh, man, I can’t believe it. Holy shit. You’re in love with her.”
It wasn’t a question, but there was no denying it. “I know.”
He grinned, but seemed annoyed with the radio as he clicked on the Bluetooth to connect to his phone. “Have you told her?”
Averie and I had been dating for two months, and there was hardly ever a time when we weren’t hanging out or on the phone with each other.
“Nah, I just—” I shrugged, tapping my thumb on the steering wheel. “I don’t know. I don’t think she’ll ever feel the same way about me as she felt about her ex. Sometimes when we FaceTime, I still see her in his sweatshirt.”
“Seriously? Dude, I could make it disappear for you if you want.”
“Nah. Things are good between us, and I understand. I mean, shit, Dad still hasn’t even dated anyone since Mom, and it’s been two years.”
“Well, at least she’s loyal to you. And shit, now that I see you with Averie, I don’t even know what I saw in Francis. You were right about her, but back then, I guess I didn’t care who I was fucking as long as my dick was getting wet. Anyway, the other day, I saw her terrorizing this cute little blonde, and I swear, Satan’s a woman and I’d been fucking her.”
“Cute little blonde? Huh?” I asked. “Really? You know Tess is coming back home soon.”
“That’s all you got from my talking about the person in hell whom I’d been fucking, and why did you have to bring Tess into this?”
I grinned. I was a dick. He hated talking about Tess, Ms. Darlene’s daughter in college, also the girl who he’d had a thing for before her friend gave Ryker his first blow job ‘for fun.’ He was in ninth grade then and had come in under thirty seconds. Not a big deal for a dude who was a virgin, but Tess’s friend hadn’t kept it to herself. Shit, all the girls in school had heard about it.
“Anyway, enough of that shit, I’m going to commit to doing the All-American Clinic,” Ryker said.
“Finally, something smart comes out of your mouth.”
“Dude, fuck you. You did force me into working on Twisted Events with your girlfriend. A name for the event planning service that I came up with because you both voted it to be the best,” he threw at me, even though I knew without a doubt that he was enjoying this project slash new business. Brody’s dad had approved it last weekend when he and Averie had presented the idea—PowerPoints and poster board-style.
“I’m serious,” I said, looking at him. “You can accomplish more in football than I probably ever—”
Something shifted in my periphery, and as I glanced at the road, Ryker shouted, “Look out!” But before I could react, everything went black.
Chapter 42
RYKER
A deer trekked out from the side of the road and right into the car’s path, and I expected whiplash or for Ash to at least slow down, but as the vehicle continued to roll forward, my head whipped to Ash. His chin was to his chest, his eyes were closed, and his upper body was slumping forward.
Shit—no, not—his heart—shit!
He was unconscious.
“Ash!” I stared ahead at the deep curve in the road and the intersection right after, and since we were going downhill, there was no way the car was slowing down without brakes.
Grabbing the steering wheel, I pushed it to the left, hoping that the deer wouldn’t move much farther into the road, and hoping that another vehicle wouldn’t choose these next few seconds to approach from the opposite direction.
“Ash!”
Unfastening my seatbelt, I half-rose and shoved a foot over to the driver’s side, kicking his foot away from the gas pedal as my own foot searched for the brake. The intersection was coming up too fast, and if we didn’t stop or turn, we would end up going straight through the guardrail and into the Colorado River.
“Shit! Ash!”
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Sweat formed on my forehead, and I cursed, stepping on the brake with enough pressure to slow us, but not so much that Ash would fly forward into the steering wheel. But as we came up on the street sign with no sign of stopping, I shielded Ash with my shoulder as I shoved my foot down hard, bringing us to a complete stop while our bodies jolted with the force. I let out a breath, but my relief was short-lived.
Ash.
Pushing the gear into park, I pulled my leg back over to my side, and with my heart pounding, I shoved my door open and raced around the bumper to his side, fearing the worst.
I yelled his name as I yanked his door open. Using an arm to hold his body against the seat, I leaned over and unbuckled the belt across his chest. Shit! How long has he been out? I should have been counting, he could fucking die. Was the AED in the backseat?
Fuck.
Deep breath.
You’re trained for this. You can save him.
His chest moved against my hand, and I moved back.
“Ash?”
His eyes opened, and unable to release a breath just yet, I stared at him as he blinked a few times.
“What happened?” he asked, and I exhaled, my head dropping to my chest as I leaned back in a squat, my elbows on my thighs.
Shit.
“Ryker?”
Fuck. It’s over. Football is over for him, but he’s still alive.
“Ryker?”
“You passed out.”
“For how long?”
I swallowed, shaking my head. “I don’t know. A few seconds. I was trying to keep us from crashing.”
“Shit,” he sighed.
I rose and stepped back as he attempted to get out, but I stayed close in case his motor skills weren’t functioning like normal yet. Although, I didn’t wait to see that they were since I was too busy pulling him into a hug and kissing his jaw. He hated when I did the whole kissing him to mess with him thing, but today, he didn’t object and I was just happy he’d come back on his own without me trying to get him back with CPR.
“You aren’t allowed to do that again,” I told him, my throat constricting.
Ash squeezed me before holding my shoulders and pushing me back. “Thank you.”
A horn blew, and we looked to the white BMW turning uphill from the intersection. The car slowed to a stop next to us, and the window wound down, revealing Brody’s dad inside.
Patrick’s eyebrows crinkled. “You boys all right?”
Mrs. Keller was in the passenger seat, trying to peek around her husband’s big head and broad shoulders.
“Yeah, I figured I should take over the driving,” I said, almost clapping Ash on the back before I stopped myself. Surprising him like that wouldn’t be good after what just happened. The last thing I wanted was for him to pass out again, so I nudged him with my elbow. “This one has the shits, and he needed to throw up.”
Ash elbowed me. “I don’t have the shits.”
Mr. Keller chuckled. “Well, we’ll see you around, we’re trying to get home and settled before the football game starts. Tell Haigen to come over for a beer sometime. And hope you feel better before your next game, the state championship’s around the corner.”
“And stay warm!” Mrs. Keller added. “It’s supposed to drop into the negatives tonight.”
“No shit.” I smiled and winked. “We may have to come snuggle up with Brody later.”
Mr. Keller grinned as the car rolled forward. “I’ll get the candles ready.”
I laughed, reminiscing about the days when Ash and I used to camp out in Brody’s room when we were kids, and with that I’d momentarily forgotten—
“We need to call Will and get you to the hospital,” I said as the BMW disappeared around the corner.
Ash squeezed his eyes shut for a second, muttering, “Shit,” as he opened them.
Chapter 43
ASHTON
Dad had stayed on the phone with me even after I was done telling him everything that had happened. It was as if he was too scared to hang up with me, but after five minutes, he ended the call so he could get in touch with my cardiologist in Greymoor.
With Ryker not saying a word, and his eyes focused on the road as he drove me to the Alpen Springs Hospital, I had a moment to think for the first time since the “event.”
There hadn’t been a warning sign.
One second I was driving and catching sight of a deer, and the next second, Ryker was in my face.
One thing was for sure, I wouldn’t be driving again anytime soon. If I’d been by myself or with Averie . . . if she’d been with me. Damn.
I looked at the phone in my hand, fighting the desperate urge to call her. She didn’t deserve this.
“I’ll come in after I park,” Ryker said, turning into the emergency entrance of the hospital.
Dad was already waiting outside by the double doors with his hands in his jeans’ pockets and his beanie pulled low.
As I got out of the car, he pulled me into his chest, hugging and squeezing the shit out of me before we walked inside.
A few people I didn’t recognize were in the waiting room, and I was thankful.
“Dr. Lawrence scheduled a stress test for you Tuesday morning,” Dad said once we were settled into two chairs. “He thinks it could be because you were sick and that your body is probably dehydrated.”
He didn’t say anything about football and practice between now and my appointment on Tuesday, but he didn’t need to, it was implied. It had been in our very-specific verbal agreement that no symptoms equaled football. Symptoms equaled no football.
But like Dr. Lawrence said, it could be because I had been sick, and if that was the case, I should be okay. My stomach flu had passed. I hadn’t thrown up or had to run to the bathroom since yesterday morning.
I knew the path my thoughts were venturing on was the wrong one, and that I was trying to make my passing out seem minor. I knew I didn’t pass out simply because I was dehydrated. It happened because my heart wasn’t pumping enough blood to my brain, but I couldn’t tell myself that because I didn’t want to stop playing. And, because of that, the verbal agreement I had made with my parents every football season since I was seven years old wasn’t so simple anymore.
I had three games left in the season. Three games until we won another state championship. I was three games away from helping to make history at our school. I couldn’t just walk away from that. And that right there was the reason I couldn’t call Averie.
“Will?” a nurse asked, coming to a stop in front of us. “What in the world are you doing here this Sunday?”
“Just making sure my boy is good. How’s Sam doing?” Dad asked, getting up to go over and talk to the woman. He was just one of those people in town whom everyone seemed to gravitate to.
Ryker walked in and sat next to me, and again, he didn’t say anything, which was uncommon for him. But I left him alone, because other than his little sister, I was the only one whom he dropped his defenses around. I knew he would talk to me when he was ready.
Dad came over to us a minute later and asked, “You okay?”
I was about to answer when I saw he was looking at Ryker, who was relaxed in his chair, staring at his phone so intently it didn’t seem as if he heard the question.
“Ryker,” Dad said, and as Ryker’s head lifted, Dad asked him again, “Are you okay?”
Ryker glanced at me before nodding. “Yeah.”
Dad squeezed his shoulder. “You did an incredible job back there.”
Ryker nodded again before his eyes lowered and his thumb slid up the screen of his phone.
Thirty minutes and a quick ECG later, I was officially admitted and staying for the night. My ECG came back abnormal, which had never happened before.
So, after that, I changed into a hospital gown and got on the bed. With the leads to check my heart rhythm still stuck to my chest and a small device on my index finger checking my pulse along with a bag of IV fluids seeping into my veins, the nurse left me alone.
I took that time to stare at the missed call on my phone from Averie, because really, the only thing on my mind was her and how I should do the right thing by her. And I had to do it now; if I didn’t, I couldn’t go through with it.
Searching my messages for the contact I’d sent to myself from her phone, I clicked on it. I’d been meaning to call the number, but I didn’t have the right words to say what I wanted to. After what happened today, though, I knew exactly what to say to Averie’s dad.
The phone rang a few times until it went to voicemail. As the beep went off to leave a message, I said, “You don’t know me, but you need to come see your daughter. Since you’re so distant, it seems like you don’t even care or realize how much she needs you. If you do care, she needs to know that.” A beat passed, and I swallowed the lump in my throat before continuing, “You’re probably going to hate me, but you should know that I love her. I haven’t even told her that, but it turns out that that is a good thing because the other reason I’m calling you is because I think I’m about to break her heart, and she needs you.”
I hung up, and without giving myself time to think, I typed out a quick message.
Me: I’m sorry, Averie, but we can’t keep seeing each other. We need to break up.
Send.
Shit.
“Everything good?” Ryker asked. I hadn’t even heard him come into the room.
“I just broke up with Averie.”
“What? How?”
“I sent her a message.”
He let out an incredulous laugh. A you-can’t-be-serious laugh.
My phone buzzed in my hand, and my girlfriend’s—my ex-girlfriend’s beautiful face lit up the screen. And with the way my heart pounded inside my chest, making the machines screech out their warnings, I was surprised a nurse wasn’t racing in here to my aid.
“She’s calling,” I muttered as the vibration continued to move through my hand.
“Well, no shit, good luck with that,” Ryker said.
I swallowed hard. Conflicted.
Answer or ignore.
Answer or ignore.
I let out a breath.
Answer because I love her and she deserves more than a fucking text. Jesus.
“Ash, I got your text.” Her voice sounded so small. “Um, I don’t understand. Are you breaking up with me? Did you mean that?”
Words failed me because I couldn’t bear to hear myself say it.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Averie,” I told her, wanting to add that I was a coward for doing this over the phone when she was only ten minutes from the hospital. But if she saw me, she’d see that something was wrong.
When I started things with her, I’d done it knowing I was fine, but after today? Damn it! The odds weren’t in my favor anymore. I couldn’t let her risk having to go through what she had to before. “The answer is yes, I’m breaking up with you.”
“What? I don’t understand, what happened? We were fine, everything was fine. Ash? What did I do?” She was crying, and the sound maneuvered an axe into my chest, splitting my already-failing heart into two.
“You didn’t do anything. It’s just me, and I don’t want to be you with anymore.” I drew in a silent breath, blinking back tears. “Goodbye, Averie,” I forced out before ending the call and powering off my phone.
“What the fuck, Ash? I thought you were going to call her to ask her to come see this through with you,” Ryker said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why the hell did you just do that?”
I cleared my throat and swallowed. “Because I’m going to keep playing.”
His head jerked back. “What?”
He started to pace. “You can’t be serious. You’re joking, it’s a joke, right?” He halted and glanced at me. I shook my head. His pacing in front of the bed commenced when Dad walked in. Ryker stopped, looked at Dad, then at me, and then he walked out.
“What’s going on?” Dad asked.
I drew in a breath and exhaled. “I broke up with Averie.”
A disapproving look came over his face. “Because of this, Ash—”
“This wasn’t supposed to happen, Dad. I was supposed to be okay.”
“That’s your excuse? You asked her for a chance, and she already knows the risk of being with you.”
“Except that it was the most selfish thing I’ve ever done—bringing her into this?” I shook my head. “I should have stayed away. I wish I’d stayed away. Now, I just broke her heart.” Tears welled up in my eyes, one trickling down my face.
Dad drew in a breath as he came closer. “When you approached her, none of this mattered. You thought it did, but it wasn’t even a factor, Ash. You liked her, and you did what anyone listening to their heart would do, and just because yours is damaged, it doesn’t make it any less deserving of someone’s love.”
I shook my head. “It isn’t about what I deserve. It’s what she deserves. And she doesn’t deserve this”—I lifted a hand—“to watch someone else she loves die.”
