Can you hear it, p.4
Can You Hear It, page 4
“Get off me.” Her hands pushed at my chest while someone tried to pull me from behind.
“Fight!” someone yelled while I hissed, “Utter the name James Lawrence again, and you’ll regret it.” As fear took over the mocking spark in her eyes, I shoved her, glaring at her as she placed a hand to her throat. “Say his name,” I begged.
The crowd grew quiet, and as a breeze passed and lifted my hair from my shoulders, I looked down. I was too furious to be ashamed, but I knew I would be. I’d never stooped to this level.
Chapter 8
AVERIE
THREE YEARS AGO . . .
“My parents are going up to the mountains this weekend,” James said, sliding into the seat next to me at the lunch table.
He kissed my cheek as I bit into my pizza and chewed, my lips stretching into a smile as he nuzzled my neck.
“Get a room.” Nicky rolled her eyes.
Sydney plopped down next to Nicky with her food tray and grabbed the red apple from it as she muttered, “Gag.”
Sydney and her boyfriend had just broken up, so I knew her seeing James and me like this must be painful. The four of us had been friends since kindergarten, but James and I became more than friends when I was twelve and we kissed by accident.
How did that happen? A mistletoe at my gram’s house that we were trying to put up as a joke for unsuspecting guests, only to be the first ones to be caught under it. Karma. The best kind when James Lawrence gave me my first kiss—a kiss that had been practiced over and over again in hidden corners and closets for three straight years. I was finally allowed to date, but since we’d technically been doing it for so long, James thought it would be good for us to take our relationship to the next level.
I should be ready.
He showed me more affection than anyone else in my life. In fact, besides the passing hugs I received from Nicky and Sydney sometimes, James was the only one who made me feel wanted. Physically and emotionally. I rarely ever get that from my parents, so I craved this warmth with him. Yet, as his hand moved to rest on my thigh beneath the table, nerves rolled through me.
“We’ll be alone,” he whispered.
I loved him, but I didn’t know if I was ready. I was the cautious girl, and he was the risk taker.
He’d started to play football on the junior varsity team this year, and the popular girls were already starting to laugh at all his jokes, lean against him, and hang on to his arms when I wasn’t around. Then there were their whispered laughs and the gushing about him in the bathrooms. It had gotten to the point where I was insecure about them being willing to give him something I wasn’t.
“I can’t wait,” I told him.
Chapter 9
AVERIE
I blinked and backed up, hitting a hard wall behind me. Ben’s hand swept down my arm in a soothing gesture a second before my eyes found Nicky. Her face fell as she brushed her hair behind her ear and stared at the ground.
Ben. Damn it.
“What’s going on now?” Ryker snapped as he stepped out onto the porch with Ashton.
Moving away from Ben, I grabbed Nicky’s arm and led her into the house and through the front doors, not stopping until we were alone on the sidewalk where we’d smoked a few hours ago.
I didn’t know what Ben’s motive was or if Nicky was too drunk to see the way he acted around me, but I was not okay with it, and she needed to know that.
“Ben and I slept together about a week before the Fourth of July. It was nothing. I didn’t feel anything for him.” I didn’t feel anything at all. “That’s why I didn’t say anything about it. I don’t think he told you that, but he should have once he decided to go out with you, and that soon.”
“I didn’t know . . . Are you sure it’s okay, I mean, you don’t like him like that, right?”
“No, I don’t.” I shook my head fiercely. “James was the only one—” my voice cracked. “He’s the only one I ever liked like that. But Ben, he just told me he missed me, and he had this look in his eye.” I shook my head. “Nicky, I don’t know if I trust him with you.”
“He makes me happy.” With a frown, Nicky staggered to the right as she scratched at a spot on her forearm. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” I asked.
“That bitch, what she said. That was majorly fucked up, and you’re stuck going to school with—”
The front door to the house opened, and Francis, Heidi, and Ashton filed out.
“What’s happening?” Nicky murmured.
“I don’t know.”
As they piled into the car Ashton had driven here, Nicky asked, “Wasn’t he drinking?”
I steadied her with my arms as Ashton glanced at me over the roof of the car a second before he disappeared inside.
“He doesn’t drink.”
“How do you know that?”
“He told me, which means I remember, and that means I’m sober. What the fuck. This was not what I had in mind when I decided to party tonight.”
“I’m not sober, and I actually think this is the best party ever. You showed that girl, A. Mozey. I’m proud of you. And at least now she knows not to fuck with you.” As the car drove off, she giggled and turned to face me. “Next time, if I’m not busy trying to stand upright, I got your back.”
I chuckled. “Got it.”
“So, what do you want to do after this? I think the guys are going to be on the hill tonight, do you want to go hang out there?”
“How are we going to get there?”
“Ben,” she replied.
“He’s been drinking.” And I didn’t exactly want to be around him either. The front door opened again, and Brody and Ryker walked out, and they were heading straight for us.
Shit.
“You don’t have to kick us out, we’re already leavin—”
Ryker bent in front of me, and his shoulder dug into my stomach as he tossed me over it.
“What are you doing?” My head lifted and I saw Brody do the same to Nicky. Ryker trudged forward through the house and to the backyard before setting me down by the keg.
“You stopped the party, so now you have to re-start it. Everyone’s waiting,” Ryker said. I glanced around to see everyone staring at me under the porch light.
Brody smirked. “You know, the keg stand you were about to do before you choked his girl.”
I narrowed my eyes. What? I hadn’t said anything about doing that.
“I vouched for you,” he charmed. “It’s the least you could do.”
My cheeks burned as my eyes lowered, but I found myself moving closer to the keg. What did I have to lose anyway? I grabbed on to either side of the steel rim and said, “Ready?”
I WAS KNEELING in front of a toilet, my body weak as I puked up about everything inside of me, which hadn’t been much to begin with. A bout of dry heaving came and passed, and as my head grew light, it flopped back against the hard figure positioned behind me, my body following suit.
I closed my eyes, and a cool, damp material pressed against my forehead before moving across my mouth.
“She’s falling asleep,” a male said a second before a vibration came from behind me.
“Can you get her some toast?”
Something touched my lips and I shifted my head to the side. “No”
“Come on, you need to drink water and eat something.”
I tried to talk, to refuse, but I was too weak.
“Come on.”
The person holding me stood, lifting me at the same time, and my body slumped over the strong arm wrapped around my waist.
The toilet flushed, and I was lifted and deposited on something soft.
“Averie.” A hand cupped my face. “Look at me. Do you want us to take you to the hospital?”
“Mmm. No.”
“Then you need to drink, please.”
The bottle brushed my lips once more, and I opened my mouth, swallowing little by little as the water filled my mouth.
Chapter 10
ASHTON
I pulled up to Averie’s house, cut the lights, and blew out a breath as I glanced at her in the passenger seat fast asleep. She had munched on the toast I’d fed her and finished an entire bottle of water, but she still couldn’t walk.
With one hand on the steering wheel and the pad of my thumb rubbing across my mouth, I considered the best way to get her inside her house undetected.
That Ben dude had wanted to take her home, telling us how much Averie’s mom liked him and would be okay with him helping her daughter, but I could see the way he looked at Averie, the want in his eyes, and from what I’d seen so far, she didn’t seem to want to be near him. So, I’d shut him down.
I could have kept her at Ryker’s or taken her to my house, but earlier, she’d kept insisting that she needed to be home.
Fuck.
“Averie,” I said, nudging her shoulder.
Her eyes fluttered open, and I could almost see them glowing in the moonlight.
“You’re home.”
Her head eased up and rotated as she peered at her house. She tried for the lock on the door.
“Wait, let me help you.”
I got out and rounded the front bumper to her side, catching her around the waist as she stumbled out.
“Which one’s your room?”
“Upstairs,” she slurred. “My key.”
“Where is it?”
“My pocket.” She sagged forward, and I held her tighter to my chest before I helped her find the key that was lodged in the front pocket of her tight jeans.
“Okay, you’re going to have to be quiet.”
Taking her mute response as agreement, I walked her to the front door.
We went inside, and I twisted the lock and pushed the door until it was flush with the frame, then I released, allowing it to close without a sound. But as Averie stumbled on the first stair, she released a low giggle. I clamped a hand over her mouth.
Jesus.
She calmed down, and that was when I lifted her and carried her up to the room she pointed out.
Setting her down, I felt for the light switch.
Her bed and desk chair were covered in a variety of clothes. The cream-colored walls were bare, and a few opened cardboard boxes sat on the floor. She was still moving in, I guessed.
I helped her to the bed and scooped some clothes out of the way so she could lie down. Pushing the rest into a pile into the farthest corner, I pulled the covers over her. And instead of walking away and getting out of her house as soon as possible, I watched her for a beat. Her small nose, pink lips. She was so beautiful, and I’d probably never get to be this close to her again, or look at her like this without being caught. I wondered what it would be like to kiss her.
“I need James,” she muttered, eyes opening for a second.
“What?”
“James . . . sweatshirt.” Her eyes closed again.
She needed James’s sweatshirt? I looked around the room, I hadn’t seen any sweatshirts in the pile I’d gathered.
“Where is it?”
“Dresser.”
I stood and went to the dresser, opening each drawer until I saw a black sweatshirt with the Alpen Springs North Football logo printed on the front. I looked from it to her.
Holy shit.
It’d almost been a whole year since she lost Lawrence. I always wore the necklace my mom had given to me, except when I practiced, but this was . . . this was bad.
She must be in so much pain, and I couldn’t help but wonder if her mom knew that she tucked herself in at night with her dead boyfriend’s sweatshirt.
When I placed the hoodie on top of her, she hugged it to her chest and snuggled into it with her eyes closed. Something cut deep into my chest, and my heart pounded at the realization that I wanted her to want me like that. But I couldn’t be with her or I would ruin her.
I snuck out of the house and on the ten-minute drive home, I remained deep in thought.
After seeing Averie in her darkest hour, I realized that I wanted to help her more than anything, but I couldn’t.
I shook my head. I was so over this.
Once I reached the bottom of the hill and drove the lonely road into the less expensive neighborhood in town, the one I grew up in, I pulled onto the makeshift driveway of our small, two-bedroom house.
My dad’s truck was here, which didn’t mean anything. He walked instead of drove when he wasn’t at work, but I knew he was home because the bars were already closed.
I sat inside my car for a while longer, my mom’s old car, and the most expensive thing I owned besides her old Mac and . . . I pulled out the necklace she’d given me from under my T-shirt. Leaving it around my neck, I held it in my hands and sighed as I leaned my head back against the headrest.
“I promised you I would play in the NFL one day. I promised you one of those big freaking houses on the hills with a view. Making promises I didn’t even know if I could keep—”
My eyes blurred, knowing my thoughts wouldn’t have gone there if it weren’t for the lightheadedness that had started to happen this past summer. But stopping now after everything I’d worked so hard to accomplish would kill me.
Chapter 11
AVERIE
On Monday morning with my backpack slung over one shoulder, I wandered down the senior hallway.
I’d stayed home yesterday, only leaving the house for brunch with Steven and my mom.
I had no recollection of most of Saturday night beyond my acting crazy and grabbing Francis’s neck. So, as everyone’s eyes began to turn my way, I could only imagine what kind of rumors were already spreading since it wasn’t like I was stringing along toilet paper on the bottom of my shoes. I was also dressed normal. Shorts, a loose-fitting blouse, my flats, and my Alpen Springs North hoodie because it got cold inside the building and I hadn’t gotten my ASH Panthers spirit wear as of yet. I supposed that could also be why I was being side-eyed?
My steps slowed as I saw Ryker and Brody leaning against my locker talking to each other as Candice busied herself with grabbing a textbook from hers.
Ryker’s gaze lifted, and I couldn’t read his expression. Were they here to make fun of me, give me shit, or—
“New Girl!” Ryker chirped.
Brody’s head turned, and his lips twitched.
“You’re blocking my locker.”
Candice looked over her shoulder. “Hey!”
I smiled. “Morning.” Then I frowned at Brody and Ryker. “Why are you on my locker?”
“To invite you to an exclusive party Friday night. You in?”
Party invites on a Monday. They came in peace.
“Only if you stop calling me New Girl.”
“Done.” Ryker nodded at Candice. “You can come, too.” He looked at me again, cocking his head and squinting as if trying to read me. “But that Ben dude isn’t invited.”
“Okaaay. Where’s this” —I lifted my fingers and air quoted—“exclusive party?”
“Yo, Haigen!” Brody pushed off the locker and glanced at me, “Catch you later, New—Averie.”
I rolled my eyes at his lopsided grin and tried not to look over my shoulder at Ashton.
“Let me see your phone,” Ryker said. “I’ll give you my number.”
After handing my phone over to him, I spun the knob on my purple combination lock. “Why are you being nice to me? I did try to strangle your girlfriend.”
A gasp came from behind me. “You choked Francis?”
“Long story,” I muttered to Candice. “But, told you, I’m not good company.”
“With all the shit I heard she’d said, she had it coming,” Ryker said with a grin as his fingers moved over my phone screen. “And ex-girlfriend. We broke up months ago. I was just trying to have a little fun with her that night. But I failed at hooking up with her again after she saw you in my room, and then I kind of kicked her out. Anyway, she’s old news.” He looked at Candice before returning my phone. “And don’t believe her. She’s not so bad. She was fan-fucking-tastic company.”
As he walked away, I turned to Candice and found her gaping after him.
“Smooth one, isn’t he?” I said dryly.
“I know,” she said with a dreamy sigh before adjusting her headband and tightening her ponytail. “He had like five different girlfriends last year—” She grabbed my arm and squeezed as her eyes went wide with excitement. “Did he just invite me to his party?”
My mouth formed an oh. So, she had a crush. I nodded. “I, yeah, I think he did. He’s never invited you before?”
“No. He’s never even noticed me before.” She frowned. “Actually, he and Brody didn’t say a word to me the whole time I was standing here before you showed up.”
“What jerks!” She returned my smile as I slid the strap of my backpack from my shoulder.
“I think he likes you,” she said.
What?
I pulled out my Calculus book and then stuffed my book bag into my locker, not liking the direction our light conversation was taking. The only thing the word dating or boyfriend made me want to do was cringe, but it also made me think of James.
“He’s just a flirt.” I veered the topic back to stuff that was important to me. Stuff that would keep me from thinking about James. “What is this exclusive party? Do you know where it is?”
“I’m not sure, but I think it’s downtown. Brody’s parents own Glores Tavern. Twenty-one and over on Friday and Saturday nights after nine. But if the rumors are true, Brody and his friends are allowed in.”
And I was invited?
“Are you going?”
“I don’t think I can.”
I grinned. “So, why were you so excited?”
“Because he invited me.”
I chuckled. “You’re too funny.”
“My parents are strict. I can barely go to the movies with my friend from church, much less a party.”
“Oh, wow.” Slowly, I shook my head. “I am definitely a bad, very, very bad influence. You should probably stay away. It can be contagious sometimes.”
