Beware of chicken, p.15
Beware of Chicken, page 15
Bi De had sharpened his spurs upon the wicked Basi Bu Shi. He was no stranger to a battle where a single mistake meant death, and he wove around Chow Ji’s own strikes. The little one had buried beneath his vest as to not be thrown off, all while protecting him from the internal tremors of the interloper’s foul Qi.
Within three exchanges, Chow Ji was panicking. His eyes were wide and wild as Bi De started to move faster, an incomplete dodge drawing blood off the wicked beast’s side.
“You worthless creature-thing! You dare use this power against me?! I, who have given you this strength? I have freed you! Freed you from serving your ‘Great Master,’ the Qi-less wretch. He is a squatter on land too good for him! You could have been mighty! You could have been Lord of this place!”
Bi De nearly laughed at the fool. Chow Ji had eyes, but he could not see Mount Tai. How could he not feel the Great Master’s might? It was all around them. Bi De could have taunted Chow Ji. He could have laughed at the sheer ignorance the beast displayed.
Instead, he let his spurs speak. Slashes appeared on Chow Ji’s limbs as Bi De struck with grace beyond the old villain. He danced around the clumsy and desperate return strikes. Chow Ji’s eyes were wide and wild. He screamed and he ranted, spittle flying from his mouth.
Fool.
[The Rising of the Crescent Moon]
Bi De’s blades burned as he rose in the sky, as surely as the moon, His spurs caught under Chow Ji’s rib cage, tore him open, and exposed his heart, which pumped feebly into the air.
Bi De landed and shook the gore from his legs, gazing contemptuously at the defeated interloper.
Chow Ji hacked and gagged, gasping feebly for air as his life drained into the ground around him. Bi De allowed it. His suffering was good and just.
“I-I curse-curse you!” Chow Ji gagged. His Qi gathered as he managed to stand, his entrails hanging out.
The rooster held his ground, watching and ready to dodge. He would not be underestimating this particular foe.
“I curse this land! May it be covered-consumed in a tide of vermin!” Chow Ji screamed, his Qi and blood mingling in the air. Darkness gathered in his palms, blood leaked from his mouth, and the air around the monstrous creature writhed with malice.
[Curse of Vermin]
Bi De’s eyes widened as Chow Ji drove his hatred and Qi into the ground around him, poisonous tendrils driving deep. He screamed in hate and pain, howling his hatred to the heavens—until Bi De’s blades took his head.
The valiant defender collapsed to his knees. Then, the pulse hit. The little one squeaked in alarm as she felt something brush against her Qi, but her proximity to the Qi of the moon let her shake off the feeling. Though her body twitched and shook, and Bi De could feel the pulse of her heat through his feathers.
The rest of the black-furs howled. Their eyes rolled, and their mouths frothed. They started biting and clawing at the land around them, half-mad from whatever happened. Some of them fled. Some of them died outright, suddenly seizing. And some launched themselves at Bi De, intent on consuming him. The horde squealed, hate and madness driving their every action.
Bi De struggled to stand. He could not fall to such weak creatures! He could not be defeated so easily, even spent as he was!
He rose, ready to do battle.
The great trotter of Sister Pi Pa landed on one of them, and her great bulk crushed two more. She thrashed and stomped, though her body was battered and bruised, as she struck down the remainder of the enemies.
When her bloody work was completed, she turned and glared at the rooster, snarling in chastisement.
Bi De bowed his head, humbled, and staggered to his feet. There was much work to be done before the Great Master returned. The little one scampered out of his vest, to aid in Sister Pi Pa fussing over the fallen form of Chun Ke. He was breathing, but …
Bi De grimaced. He was absolutely exhausted, yet he was alive.
□
A half-blind old woman stared at the carving of a rooster. It had a massive crack that had started spreading over its back, growing every day. Today, if the growth followed the same pace, the rooster would have split in half.
Instead, the wood hung on, cracked but unbroken.
The old woman harrumphed and put it back on the shelf before glancing around the room and frowning.
“Lan Fan! Lan Fan, you devil goat, where are you?!” she demanded, stomping outside.
□
It was late in the day when Bi De felt the land breathe a sigh of relief. The grass stood taller, the air seemed sweeter, and the taint in the ground felt like it shuddered.
The Great Master was approaching.
They had dismantled the scaffolding, buried the corpses, and cleaned as much of the droppings as they could.
Brother Chun Ke had even woken back up, though he simply lay there, groaning and whining in piteous pain. His eyes seemed duller, and Bi De was concerned.
Now, Bi De looked upon the Spirit Furnace. The wretched thing that offered its tainted power. His master would surely not want it.
His blades of moonlight—his tainted blades, and the price for his foolishness—bit into the furnace and destroyed it.
Bi De limped to the entrance to Fa Ram and awaited his Great Master’s arrival and judgement.
CHAPTER 19
R.O.U.S.
Unlike the rest of the people at the wedding, I didn’t have anybody besides Big D to take care of my house. I had known a dog back in the Before that knew how to feed the other animals, and Big D was just about as intelligent—and probably hopped up on Qi. But he definitely wasn’t foolproof or a permanent solution.
While everybody else would be hanging out in Verdant Hill for the rest of the week, generally getting drunk and having a good time, I had to go back home.
So, first thing in the morning, I went to the Exchange.
There were government-mandated rice prices, but as befitting a xianxia world, there were different prices for different grades, all strictly codified. This stuff was taken extremely seriously, and there were a bunch of stern-faced Imperial Clerks and soldiers who would examine the rice and make sure you weren’t trying any funny business.
Most farmers had “green-grade” rice, which made up the vast bulk of the rice sold. It was good, solid rice that everybody liked. Grey-grade was mainly considered trash and for only the poorest sections of society or animal feed. The “blue-grade” was the prime stuff that would go to nobles and other wealthy people.
I fully expected my rice to be “blue” rice. Hey, it was damn good rice. I did have some pride, and my rice was obviously superior in quality and size to the other rice that was here.
I mean, sure, I’d cheated a bit with Qi, but hard work had still gone into it!
So, I waited the hour or so until the next clerk could see me, and I let the guards and clerk examine my bags. A bit of rice was taken from one randomly selected, and the clerk poured several grains into his hands.
“This is spectacular rice, farmer,” the clerk said appreciatively. “Your hardship and toils have been rewarded this year. This is the best blue-grade rice this humble clerk has ever laid eyes upon!”
I smiled at him. “It took a while to clear, but the land is good.”
The clerk nodded his head. “How many bags do you have for sale this year?” he asked.
After everything I had given away, as gifts and payment—
“Twenty bags of white rice,” I said. “I’ve got a bit more at home. This was all the cart could take.”
“The clerks and scribes of the Imperial Court here shall purchase all of the currently available rice you have to sell,” the clerk declared. “Should you bring more of it, I would ask that you think of the Imperial Clerks here first. We would welcome the fruits of your labour.”
Huh. That was easy.
We bowed to each other, and I got a receipt. The other clerks, when they looked at my rice, seemed just as agreeable as the first guy.
Now I just had to take these hawk feathers over to this guy, and I would be set!
→
My feet thudded as I set out a light jog back home. I had gotten quite a reasonable price for my rice and hawk feathers, so I had bought some good, solid jars for pickling, as well as a bunch of salt for preserving fish. I wasn’t the biggest fan of funazushi. Salt-fermented fish was an acquired taste, and it would take a couple of years to become “real” funazushi, but it was good to start soon, right?
Everybody had been understanding about my needing to leave early, though Meimei had been a little bit pouty about it.
So, I asked her to help me with something around the back then kissed the hell out of her when we were alone. The way her red face perfectly highlighted her freckles was always great, and bashful Meimei was fun to see. The way she looked up at me and bit her lip—
Meimei was cute.
After that I’d started on my way. They would probably be fine on the return trip, and they had made that trip hundreds of times before without running into any Spirit Beasts, so all seemed good.
Tigger was curled up in the cart and managing to sleep. It was quite a smooth ride, if I do say so myself. I absentmindedly pushed a bit of Qi into the road as I ran. Hopefully, that would help with potholes, but it was mostly a dirt road. I wondered if I could make it better in the future, pave it or something? I certainly had the stamina and strength. Or I could pay people to do it, improve the local economy a bit?
More thoughts for the future.
When I’d first gotten to the area, I’d kind of had plans to go full hermit and do most of the things myself. That … well, that was a stupid-ass idea, really. I had been a moron, too eager to run. Then I’d gone and made friends and got a fiancée. Turned out most people I’d met so far were pretty normal. Save for the cultivators of course. But there was a small problem. The distance between my property and the village was pretty big.
If I had known what the future might hold, I might have set up shop in Hong Yaowu instead of what I did, but now, I wasn’t about to trade my property for anything.
This was mine. And I was gonna make it the best goddamn farm in the world.
My feet kept thudding, traversing the empty road.
I eventually decided to stop for the night. Even at my pace, it was still more than a day’s trip back home, at my current pace. Sure, I could have pushed it and ran as I had with the rice—but meh, it wasn’t worth it.
Besides, this was my favourite spot and my favourite rock. I briefly entertained the idea of taking the rock with me. Meimei’s “what the hell, Jin” face was hilarious, and bringing “our rock” back to my house would provoke another round of baffled amusement.
I decided to leave it for now. I didn’t have any room in my wagon, anyways.
I went to sleep thinking about our house, and all the other things I needed. It was going to have medicine storage—I should ask Meimei about it later, so I can build it properly …
□
Do you know that sinking gut feeling you get from time to time? It started while I was eating lunch in the village, making sure to tell the people who’d had to stay all about the wedding. It felt like the bottom dropped out of my stomach.
At first, I hadn’t thought much about it, but as I finished my meal and I neared my house, the feeling became stronger. It was a kind of nauseous feeling. Like something had gone really, really wrong.
I started to get worried as I neared the gates. Had I been gone too long? Big D was a scrapper, but had a Spirit Beast ransacked my house? Had some disaster befallen it?
Big D and Peppa were waiting for me at the gates.
They both looked like the animal equivalent of having gone twelve rounds with Mike Tyson. Big D had blood all over his feathers. His once vibrant plumage was dull and stringy-looking, and he seemed dead on his feet. It was all he could do to get into his customary bow, but I saw him twitch in pain as he did.
Peppa was better off, but only barely. She had massive bruises all over her body and dried blood on her nose. She too dipped her head.
A feeling of horror overtook me. My Qi unconsciously bubbled, and both of my animals took a step back and gulped at the expression on my face.
↔
When Bi De felt the Great Master’s overpowering Qi, he thought his Lord’s rage had finally been roused, and his life was forfeit. The little one squeaked in both horror and awe from her perch on his back. She nearly fell off of his body, such was her shock.
Even he felt fear. The Great Master never used his unknowable power for violence. It was always a calm, nurturing stream that dispersed into the air and ground. Even when facing the wicked beasts, it was still and serene, unbothered by them.
This was nothing so kind. The land responded to his wrath, bubbling and churning like a storm. His power rose, and the energy in the land rose with it, vast and overpowering. Terror seized Bi De’s heart, but he stepped forward anyway, intent on shouldering all the dishonour upon himself. He was to blame. He should be the sole target of his Lord’s judgement.
But instead of his Great Master smiting him for failure and dishonour, both himself and Sister Pi Pa were scooped into his strong arms and checked over for injuries. His Lord paused when he saw the cowering form of the little black-fur, his eyes narrowing, but she too was spared from his wrath.
They were taken swiftly to the coop of their Lord, where he made even more noises of distress and concern when he saw the damage done to Brother Chun Ke, still asleep on his side. The gashes had been tended to as best as they were able, and they had to hope that it was enough.
The Lord disregarded the pots of Heavenly Herbs, not paying them any attention as he tended to their wounds.
Bi De was once more humbled by his Great Master. He cared more for his disciples than the treasures of his coop.
Even with his gross failure, he was still afforded a place within this blessed land. His eyes closed, and he finally allowed himself to succumb to exhaustion.
↔
I was not happy.
Let me rephrase that. I was rip-shit pissed.
Big D and Peppa were bad enough, but poor Chunky had nearly lost an eye to whatever tore up his face. The poor boy had woken up and oinked pitifully before once more going back to sleep, his eyes clouded with pain. I used up nearly all the medicine I had, tending to him. At least I’d had the foresight to buy it earlier, just in case something went wrong with my chickens, but pigs were a lot bigger than birds and needed more of it.
I glared at the new addition to the house—as did Tigger. The little stripy kitten was staring greedily at the rat that had been riding on Big D.
“What happened here?” I asked, not really expecting an answer from the animals.
To my surprise, the little rat bowed its head and pointed outside.
Well, shit, I thought.
I got a little tour from the scurrying rodent, accompanied by a bunch of squeaks and words that I could almost understand. Peppa trotted along beside us, adding her own squeals and oinks where appropriate.
It started with a broken pill furnace. The short, squat, almost pot-like device with vents on the side had been torn open, exposing an inside caked in black tar.
A mass grave, some pills, and an absolutely hideous R.O.U.S., Rodent of Unusual Size, followed.
I glared at the Master-Splinter-looking motherfucker of a mutated rat. It was absolutely disgusting, halfway between human and rat, and despite the creature’s stomach I could see the six-pack and pecs he sported, like some kind of demented rat bodybuilder.
The image of a fight nearly formed in my mind’s eye. There were feelings of foulness, desperation, and deceit. I snarled, but there was nothing I could do now, besides trying to fix up my house and hoping that Chunky was all right.
I was in a foul mood the rest of the day as I stalked around the property, cataloguing everything. There was damage, but it wasn’t too bad. Five bags of rice had been contaminated, chewed into, and soiled. Which, compared to the amount left, was a light loss.
The things that had taken the most damage were the Lowly Spiritual Herbs. Most of them were gone, with only one pot left. I had some seeds, and they could be grown in winter with enough care, but I was still upset. They were the only things that made my normally bland food bearable!
The weird root I was keeping was fine, though. Still hiding in its pot, its Qi signature unrecognisable until it was pulled from the ground. I honestly didn’t know what to do with the root, and there was nothing about it in the Archive, so I just put it back into the pot.
I smashed the pills, mixing each of them with a bunch of water to dilute them. They looked a bit off, so they were probably toxic, and I didn’t want them contaminating my farm.
After that, I ripped apart the Spirit Furnace. The metal could be used for something, but I didn’t care about the rest of it. It was a gross thing, all caked with black tar on the inside, and it stunk. Fucking pills. Of course it comes back to that.
While I worked, I thought. The rat had confirmed a somewhat uncomfortable truth, with her direct answers to my question. Big D just kind of did as he was told most of the time, and the other time, he acted like a normal rooster. Now, I knew Big D was smart, but he was apparently nearly or as smart as a human? Same with Peppa and the rat?
I grimaced. I had no intention of eating Big D, but if Spirit Beasts weren’t rare, that meant Peppa and Chunky, who I was planning on eating eventually, were off the table too. I had no intention of eating anything sapient. That was just … ugh.
Wait, I had eaten a chicken while Meimei and the boys were over. Had she been—?
I felt a bit sick to my stomach as I contemplated the horror of what I might have done.
All right, cognitive tests for everybody.
But only after I burned Master Splinter, because god damn, that guy was nasty.
I looked to the little rat, waiting by my feet, her head bowed.
“Helpful. Friend,” something told me.
