Into the light, p.12
Into the Light, page 12
“Time for pie,” Marion calls.” We sing “Happy Birthday” and gramps blows out his one candle. Jeremy helps. I enjoy my second time indulging in Lulu’s pie. It’s rare I eat dessert, so I savor every bite. Still, it’s too much for me to finish. This time I decide to pass on bringing home the leftovers.
“We should get you to bed,” Marion tells gramps.
“Wait. I have a little something I wanted to give him. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s nice of you, Shay,” Marion says.
I retrieve the package, which I stashed by the front door. “For you,” I say as I hand it to him. I didn’t wrap it because I thought he might have trouble with the paper. Instead, I stuck a big red bow on top of the box and left the card inside right on top.
“Why, thank you.” He slides the lid off and reads the message on the pillow. His face breaks out into a grin.
“What is it?” Jeremy asks.
“Don’t even think about!” Gramps shouts, giving me a wink.
Jeremy throws me a questioning glance.
“It says it on the pillow,” gramps says as he holds it up.
“How clever,” Marion says.
Gramps tucks it behind him and leans back. “Now why didn’t I ever think of this?” He sighs contentedly. “It’s a good thing that grandson of mine had the sense to finally ask you out. And not just because of the pillow.”
His reaction makes me glow inside. He has such little things that bring him joy, I’m glad I could be one of them.
“That was very thoughtful of you, Shay. Come on dad, let’s get you to bed.”
I glance at my watch. “I should be going.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Jeremy says.
After a round of goodbyes Jeremy walks me to the door.
“Thanks for having me.”
“Thanks for coming. And for bringing gramps a gift. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know. But I wanted to.”
“Next time just don’t upstage me,” he teases.
“What can I say? I’m a good gift giver.”
He pulls me close and presses a kiss to my lips. “You’re the only gift I’ll ever need.”
His words light me from within. I walk to my car, a smile on my face. When I get in, I see him still standing by the door. I start the car and roll down my window.
“How old are you?” I yell.
“Older than you,” he yells back.
I shake my head as I pull out of his driveway. One of these days I’ll get it out of him. But I’m in no rush. As far as I’m concerned, we have forever.
Chapter 25
Jeremy – Old Habits Die Hard
Even once she’s safely back onshore, I can’t get the vision of Shay heading toward that tree out of my mind. I know she’s fine, but if she hadn’t held up her hand to grab the branch it would’ve struck her. She was really shaken up even though she put on a brave face. Then again, she always acted brave in the face of adversity. Except for the one time I needed her to step up. It’s strange how much we know about one another, yet our lives have taken such different turns that I really know nothing at all.
One thing is clear: she wants to get back to the way things were before. But they can never be the same again. She thinks she found a crack by reminiscing about old times. But it’s hard to break an iceberg when you’re only armed with an ice pick. Our history is the kind for the ages. It was full of love, devotion and discovery, but it was also complicated and catastrophic, so it will remain just that: history. What happened between us is irreparable. I don’t know why she bothers trying.
I shower and change for dinner. Tonight we’re keeping it casual and eating at the hotel. As I’m about to walk out of my room my phone flashes with an incoming call: Mom. I missed her earlier so I take the call and end up arriving a few minutes late. I glance around the rustic dining room and the group is seated near a large, stone fireplace. There’s only one empty seat next to Shay.
“Aren’t we short one?” I ask.
“Sylvia isn’t feeling well,” Shay says. “She’s ordering room service and taking it easy.”
“Bummer for you,” says Meredith.
“She actually booked her own room. I hope it wasn’t anything I said,” Shay jokes.
“I’m sure it wasn’t,” Veronica reassures her. “She probably didn’t want you to have to worry about tiptoeing around her.”
I take the seat next to Shay, wishing I didn’t have to sit this close to her. As I scoot my chair in, I attempt to put more distance between us. I can feel her eyes on me as I do it. At least I don’t have to look at her head on. Rob is across from me. He gives me a look as if to say you OK? I nod in return. He orders a bottle of red, which we all share. Once we decide on a round of appetizers, talk turns to the wedding. Shay asks Veronica for details on her flowers and color scheme, and the two chat animatedly while the men look on, amused. Veronica gives high praise for her wedding planner, Lucy, and pulls out her phone so they can look at photos. Meredith gives advice based on her nuptials and it’s as if the three of them are in their own world. Talk turns to the honeymoon, which is more my speed. Rob seems happy to share about their plans. Lorenzo launches into a story about his honeymoon and I quietly take in the conversation.
“You won’t believe what one of my customers pulled while we were away.” Meredith entertains the table with a saga about one of her outlandish clients.
“Veronica had one of those,” Rob says. “Remember when you wanted to land Garrett Hasley as a client, whose only interest was in landing you?”
“OK, moving on,” she says.
“What about you Shay? Any crazy client stories?” Lorenzo asks.
“No. I’m in family law.” Her voice is like a caress in my ear. She’s sitting too damn close. “The cases I deal with are quite sad actually.”
“That must be hard to deal with, day in and day out.”
“It can be. But I think about the outcome and protecting these kids, which makes it all worth it.”
If only she’d protected the one who needed it most. I turn my head and glance at her. When I do, her blue eyes are fixed on me. I feel the intensity of her gaze everywhere. The room is all of a sudden too warm.
“Well good for you for being passionate about what you do,” Meredith says.
I finish off my second glass of wine. Shay excuses herself to use the restroom and the temperature immediately drops. As she walks back to the table, I study her. She’s always been petite. Back then she was so delicate, but she’s all woman now. Her curves are more filled out too, probably because she’s not on a dancer’s diet. It suits her. She walks with the same grace she always had. There’s a magnetic quality in the way she carries herself. I was never immune to it. She slips into the chair beside me, her hands in her lap.
The entrees arrive and everyone digs in. “What’s the plan for tomorrow?” Meredith asks.
“No rowing, I hope,” Shay says.
I tease her about her skills, or lack thereof, and she blushes. It reminds me of when we first started dating. Any time I teased her she turned a light shade of pink, which I found endearing. She was so innocent back then.
“No rowing,” Veronica confirms. “I prefer to keep my bridal party in one piece.”
I see Shay’s shoulders relax out of the corner of my eye.
“We’re going to have a spa day.”
This is met by cheering from the girls.
“I booked us appointments in the morning. Then I figured we’d go in town and have lunch. Then do some shopping.”
“That sounds perfect,” Shay says.
“Are you guys golfing again?” Meredith asks.
“Of course,” Rob says.
“What about tonight?” Meredith asks. “Is there anything to do around here?”
“We could go dancing,” Lorenzo suggests.
Shay’s shoulders stiffen once more. This surprises me. I would’ve thought she’d be down with that suggestion. She quietly finishes her meal and seems withdrawn from the conversation. It’s at odds with her lively chatter from earlier.
“I’m too stuffed to go dancing,” Meredith declares as the waiter clears her plate.
“Me too,” Veronica says.”
I glance at Shay and don’t miss the relief in her expression. For someone who went to Juilliard, that’s an interesting reaction.
“Are you going to finish these?” Meredith asks Lorenzo, eyeing his fries. He shakes his head.
“Stuffed, huh?” he teases.
“You know I can never let perfectly good fries go to waste.”
He says something I don’t catch, and Meredith gestures wildly as she finishes chewing. He somehow understands whatever it is she’s trying to communicate. I have no clue how he figures it out, but he does. Must be a marriage thing. She claps her hands. “We should play charades. We can do teams. It’ll be fun.”
“As long as Shay’s not on my team,” I say, turning my head to look at her.
“Hey,” her tone is light but I can see the hurt in her eyes.
“Tell them about that time we played with my gramps,” I prompt.
“I forgot about that,” she says. Her face transforms into a smile when she realizes I’m teasing her.
And for just a moment, when she smiles at me like that, my gut clenches. She’s always had a beautiful smile. It lights up her whole face. I realize she hasn’t done it much in my company. Then again, I haven’t given her much to smile about. I relay the story of how she was terrible at following the rules, always blurting out clues.
“That’s because you could never figure out the answers,” she huffs.
“And who’s fault is that, huh?”
“My acting was perfectly fine. And for the record, I just wanted your gramps to win.”
Some of my anger thaws at the memory. She’d always had a soft spot for my grandfather. Of their own accord, my fingers graze hers under the table. She flinches at first, startled by the contact. But then she links her hand with mine. It’s strange, the conversation continues around me, but I can only focus on the feel of her. Everything around us is the same, but suddenly everything is different. My free hand moves to her thigh and her breath hitches even though she’s wearing jeans. Tight jeans I might add. I’m sure she can feel the heat, and she’s probably shocked I’m touching her. Frankly, so am I. My fingers trail down and grip her knee, then move slowly back up again. Just then, my phone rings. Damn it. It’s Giuliana. I glance at Shay but she’s looking at my screen. I want to make sure everything is OK at the house, so I excuse myself to take the call. We talk for a few minutes and once I know everything is under control I head back to the table.
The mood between us seems to have shifted. Shay’s hands are now balled in her lap. I notice she’s wearing an oversized watch and a large bangle on her other wrist. When we were together she never wore jewelry, except for the ring I made for her. When she sees me staring, she moves her hands under her napkin. Message received.
Veronica takes a dessert poll. After that Shay remains quiet. It’s as though she’s drawn into herself. Veronica tries to bring her back into the conversation, but the light seems to have left her eyes. The waiter brings two apple crumb cheesecakes for the table to share. We pass them around and everyone shaves off a piece, except for Shay.
“No dessert?” I ask.
“I’m good.”
“Shay, you have to try it,” Meredith says. “It might be better than the Parmesan garlic fries.”
“It might be better than Lulu’s,” I tell her.
She narrows her eyes at me. “I don’t believe you.”
“Suit yourself.”
She picks up her fork and swipes a piece from my plate.
I chuckle. “Well?”
She chews, considering.
“Lulu’s still has the edge. But this is a close second. And you can’t really compare pie and cheesecake.”
She takes another helping and I push the plate toward her.
She shakes her head. “I’m good.”
I finish it off but save the last piece. “You want the last bite?” I ask, offering her my fork.
“Why not.”
I bring it to her lips and she parts them for me. Why do I torture myself like this? She closes her eyes and I don’t miss the small hum she makes as she chews. It’s a good thing it’s the last bite. I shift in my chair. It always gave me satisfaction seeing her eat dessert. I know it was an indulgence for her, and she always savored every bite.
We settle the bill, and by that, I mean Rob pays despite my protest. So, when we head to the bar, I get the first round. There aren’t enough seats so we bring our drinks to a lounge area just off the lobby. “OK, charades,” Meredith says, rubbing her hands together. “Girls vs. guys?”
“Sure,” Veronica says. “Meredith, it was your idea so why don’t you go first.”
“OK. Let me think of something… Got it!”
She holds her arm up in a drinking gesture.
“Wine,” Veronica shouts.
“Beer,” Shay says.
Meredith shakes her head and continues to chug.
“Champagne!” Shay says.
“Ding, ding, ding.” Meredith gives her a high five. Shay seems to be in better spirits. She was always competitive, unless she was letting gramps win.
Rob goes next. He gets down and walks on all fours.
“An elephant,” I say.
“Lion, tiger, bear,” Lorenzo says.”
Rob stands and dusts off his hands. “Yep, it was a bear. Why the hell is an elephant the first animal you’d suggest?” he asks me.
“How the hell should I know? You’re a big dude. You looked like an elephant.”
Everyone laughs, including Shay. I know I shouldn’t care, but I’m glad she’s no longer acting aloof.
“Shay, it’s your turn.”
She does a putting motion.
“Golf!” Meredith yells.
Shay shakes her head and putts again.
“Mini golf,” Veronica says.
“Yep.”
“You had the wrong swing,” I say.
She places her hands on her hips. “It was one time, just for practice.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Meredith asks.
I relay the story about how when we went mini golfing Shay was practicing her swing while we were waiting for the family in front of us. “She took a swing like she was teeing off. And there was someone standing behind her that she almost took out. That someone happened to be me.”
“Just like that branch almost took me out today,” she jokes. “Karma.”
We go another few rounds. It’s fun hanging out like this. And surprisingly Shay and I are getting along. Veronica finishes her drink and yawns.
“We should call it a night,” Rob says. “You have an early morning.”
“What time are our appointments?” Meredith asks.
“Eight-thirty.”
“We should go up too,” she says to Lorenzo.
I notice Shay hasn’t finished her wine.
“I’ll wait with you if you want to finish that.”
“Are you sure?” She looks at me uncertainly, as though any second, I’ll change my mind.
No. I’m not sure what the hell I’m doing. “You’re a single woman in a hotel. I’ll walk you to your room.”
“OK, thanks.”
Everyone says goodnight and it’s just the two of us. I move to the seat next to her. The mood shifts again now that we’re alone. She takes a good gulp of her wine and I notice her hands are trembling.
“Nervous?” I ask, moving closer to her.
“No. Um. I–I think I’m done with this.” She sets her drink down.
She bites her lip. She’s flustered and it’s amusing to watch.
“You forget that I know your tells. What do you think is going to happen, Shay?”
“Nothing. I just never know which side of you I’m going to get, that’s all.”
“And?” I prompt, leaning in closer to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
“And I like this side,” she whispers and leans into my touch.
I throw back the rest of my drink and stand. “You ready?”
She takes a deep breath and stands too. I place my hand on the small of her back, guiding her toward the elevators. We wait in silence, the air thickening between us. When the doors open, she hurries inside and presses the button for the second floor. The doors start to slide closed, but a woman sticks her hand in front and they open once more. “Probably not the smartest idea,” the woman says. “But I figure they have a sensor.” Her hand is still holding the door open. “Bill,” she calls. A man I presume to be Bill steps in and I move to stand behind Shay. I pull her flush against me, my arms circling her waist, and she relaxes against me. She’s so close I can smell the shampoo she uses. It’s different from what I remember. The ride is brief considering we’re going up one floor. We all step off and thankfully they go left and we go right. I follow Shay down the corridor and wait while she retrieves the key from her purse.
“Thanks for making sure I got to my room.”
“No problem.”
She opens the door and hesitates.
“Do you want to come in?” She peers at me over her shoulder. Her cheeks are flushed and her lips are parted. It’s the most enticing invitation I’ve had in a long time.
No would be the right answer. But old habits die hard.
“What do you think?” I ask as I follow her inside.
Chapter 26
Then, Jeremy
Gramps loves the pillow Shay bought him. He takes credit for my asking her out. And he likes to remind me of that fact. I didn’t throw away the card she gave him. Who knows, maybe she’s rubbing off on me. Her script is flowery, the S of her name unique in the way it loops to connect it to the h. It’s distinctly her. I tuck the card away in my drawer so I’ll always have a reminder of her.
The past few times I’ve seen Shay we’ve hung out at my house. I want to take her out somewhere nice. I can’t afford fancy restaurants, not that they’re my speed. But I want to do something that’s memorable. I’ve been brainstorming ideas all week. I decide on one of those pottery painting places for our next date. I pick her up at the club again. While I don’t like it, I don’t want to make it an issue—yet.
