Heart of shattered glass, p.13
Heart of Shattered Glass, page 13
“Dreaming,” I mumbled, my voice like a sigh.
I understood what that was like, I was doing far too much dreaming lately.
Before I could respond, shake my head, and ask something else that would get us away from the topics that seemed to be dangerous, a knock came at the door.
Tristan smiled and got up, letting go of my hands.
All I had to do was make it through tonight, and then we would both be so busy with the preparations for war that we wouldn’t have time to get too close and ruin my mission. But watching as he led the server in and started to unload the plates, I couldn’t help wishing it were different.
Even though I knew I was supposed to let go, I grasped at the air while I waited for him to come back to me.
CHAPTER 30
VENOM
Dinner was over, and I needed to make him go so he could sleep, but I couldn’t do it.
“It is tents, though, right?” I asked with a small laugh, leaning on my hand with my elbow on the table and my other hand in Tristan’s, our fingers threaded together. Long ago, I shoved the straps of my gown that trapped my arms up onto my shoulders so I could move and be comfortable.
“Yes,” he said, shaking his head with a smile. “Unfortunately, we will all be staying in tents.”
My grin masked the mad laughter I wanted to break out in.
“Tristan, I don’t care about a tent.”
He pulled his fingers from mine and ran them down my hand instead, nodding as he looked down at the small scars still left on the knuckles he played with.
“Gus and Jacquetta might hate it,” I said, and it was his turn to squeeze his mouth tight so he didn’t laugh too hard.
Our voices were low, the hellfire lights turned to a glow, and it seemed like magic, this quiet. So much so I was loathe to break the spell with an outburst, and by some unvoiced agreement, Tristan seemed to do the same.
We existed in a bubble that didn’t stretch beyond this room. One in which I could pretend that I would always be as happy as I was while he played with my hand.
“Cinder,” he said, his voice so low and rich it hummed within me, “can I ask a favor of you?”
“Of course.” What part of all the promises I made to him did he question?
“There will be times, while we’re at the training ground, that things are going to go bad—”
“No.” I grabbed his hand, holding it tight.
“No?” He snapped his eyes to mine, worry etching a line between his brows.
“Tristan, whatever you need of me, it’s yours. But we aren’t going to talk about what could go wrong tonight. I want to have tonight with you to pretend that nothing will go wrong ever again.”
His eyes, the hazel that took on different colors in different light and seemed to hold every possible color within their depths, changed in front of my eyes from deep, rich brown to a vibrant green. It was as if the fertile soil within him sprouted life and grew as I watched.
“Come on,” he said, pulling me to my feet and folding me into his arms.
“Are we dancing without music?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
“No—Yes—I—”
“It’s okay. You can just hold me.” I moved my hands up his chest to play with his hair at the nape of his neck.
He closed his eyes and hummed the contented sound of a well-loved cat.
“One day,” he said, kissing me on the forehead and then the cheek. “Every day…” he fluttered soft kisses along my neck while my heart stuttered, and the air after a thousand arrows parted it whirled in my stomach.
“Why didn’t you tell us—” Gus’ voice sliced through our bubble and stopped just as fast as it came.
I looked up toward the door along with Tristan, but I didn’t let go of him.
Gus and Jacquetta stood there, mouths agape. But they existed in a different reality than the bubble of Tristan and I, and my mind couldn’t put the two together.
Tristan sighed and pulled back until my hands fell to rest on his chest.
“Pardon the intrusion,” Jacquetta said, recovering first and dropping into a curtsy as she tugged Gus down with her.
“You’re fine,” I said. “Come on. Shut the door.”
I shook my head and Tristan grinned, turning to bury his face in my hair as he chuckled silently.
My friends did as I asked, but their shock morphed into sly grins and sideways glances.
“We were worried when we realized you were gone,” Jacquetta said.
“Everyone else is still dancing and acting like this is the biggest party of the year,” Gus said, shaking her head.
Tristan and I looked at each other, both of us knowing it was possible this was the last party of the year. At least at the palace. And any other party that happened in Onyx while we were under the threat of war breaking out all over the country, or while we were fighting the war itself, would be shadowed by the long pall of death as it stalked the battlefield.
“Cinder didn’t feel well for a moment, but she’s fine now.” Tristan smiled at me, as if they were going to believe that was the reason why we came up here. “I got her to sit and eat with me.”
Gus nudged Jacquetta, her face falling into hard lines and pursed lips.
“I told you that’s what she said.”
“That’s what who said?” I asked, adjusting my position so Tristan and I stood side by side, linked by his hand at the small of my back and mine on his chest, not willing to let go of him completely yet.
“Gus heard a couple Ladies whispering that one of the potentials was angry and put something poisonous in your drink,” Jacquetta said, her face in a grimace.
“What?” I asked, my voice hard. Which one of them tried to make me sick?
“But,” Tristan said, narrowing his eyes under a furrowed brow and looking at me, “you got better so fast. What kind of poison does that?”
“One that didn’t work,” I said and turned back to Gus. “Which one?” They needed a visit from my knife before I left for the training grounds.
“I don’t know,” Gus said, her voice as sharp as mine and her eyes sharper. “They whispered it on the other side of one of those pillars, by the time I shoved my way around it to see who was there, they were in the crowd.”
Even though I asked, it didn’t matter that she wasn’t sure. As far as I was concerned, there was only one of the potentials who was likely to try and poison me.
Poison was the weapon of a snake.
Tristan’s arm came around me and held me close to his side as he turned, his eyes squeezed shut and his breaths deep through his nose.
“I’m okay.” I took his free hand, unfurled his fist and threaded my fingers with his. “It’s okay because I’m fine. And I’ll be going to the training grounds tomorrow where none of them will be.”
He opened his eyes and nodded, looking down at me as a muscle in his jaw jumped.
“And we won’t let any of them get anywhere near your food or drinks again,” Jacquetta said, crossing her arms to hide the shaking in her hands.
Judging by the fury in her eyes, I assumed she wasn’t shaking in fear.
“No, but some of them will get a little pep talk about what happened at the Battle,” Gus said, turning around and calling over her shoulder, “I’ll be right back.”
“So will I,” Jacquetta said, following after Gus.
The second the door shut behind them, Tristan wrapped me up, lifting me from the floor and carrying me to the sofa.
He sat down and folded me onto his lap, holding me as if he could cover me completely.
“It will never happen again,” he said, his voice low but as dark as the obsidian walls. “As soon as we return from the training grounds, I will see to it.”
A promise he couldn’t keep, but something cracked in me as I tightened my hold on him because I knew he would try.
CHAPTER 31
PROMISES
When Gus and Jacquetta returned, it was to Tristan and me in the same position, wrapped up in each other and holding on like if we didn’t the other would be snatched away.
Jacquetta brought out a blanket, dragged from my bed, and draped it over us.
Gus sighed and they retreated to their rooms.
Tristan shifted so his legs were on the sofa and swept mine over to lay alongside his.
“Everything in me says not to put you at risk,” he said, his voice a hushed croak. “I want you there with me. You’re more than capable, but if something happens to you…and now, if I leave you here, it might be just as bad.”
“I’m going with you,” I ran a hand along his cheek, the muscles in his jaw relaxing as I did. “Whoever did this won’t get another chance.”
“No, they won’t.” He tucked the blanket in tighter around us and kissed my forehead. “And I’m going to put someone in charge of finding out who did this.”
“You can’t.” He stiffened, but I kept on. “No one should be distracted from the real threat. And I’m going to be fine. I am fine. We both are.”
“We will be.” He kissed my head again and ran his hand up my back.
I fell asleep to his heartbeat, and wondering how long we would have to wait until the snake left the country. Because she did this. And Tristan couldn’t know. If he did, we might end up at war with Corvid and Amethyst at the same time.
Before I even opened my eyes in the morning, I knew he was already gone from my apartment. It was cold. And when he was with me, that was impossible.
Gus and Jacquetta were pensive and jittery while we made the final preparations to leave the palace, but they would be more comfortable once we were all at the training grounds. They had to be, because we had a lot of work to do.
“Do we have everything ready?” I asked, stepping out of my room and looking at the collected trunks.
“Yes, we’re ready,” Gus said, throwing the lock on one of the trunks.
“Let’s go. I want to get there before lunch,” Jacquetta said and refastened her cloak for the third time.
They were both in their training clothes and I was in mine. There was no point in bringing most of our trunks. Madam was going to send more training clothes for us, and we all had some things we didn’t want to leave behind.
At least the rest of our trunks were being put in storage. I didn’t trust the snake not to destroy everything if she could.
I opened the door to the hallway and almost ran into a guard who marched back and forth in front of it.
“Hello,” I said, Gus and Jacquetta leaning around me so they could see who I was talking to.
“My Lady,” the guard said, saluting and bowing. “I will escort you to your carriage.”
Looking back at Gus and Jacquetta, I nodded.
All of us trailed the guard, except for the servants carrying our trunks to all the places they needed to go.
Part of me chafed at having this guard, no matter how good she was at her job, and no matter how loyal she might be. But I tried not to be irritated knowing it was something Tristan did so he felt better about being away from me.
If he continued trying to look out for me, chances were it was going to get him hurt.
He would get less protective at the training grounds…I told myself that anyway.
Out front, the carriage waited, and the rest of the traffic in the courtyard was all made up of guards.
Gus and Jacquetta probably felt even more out of place as they fidgeted.
But this made more sense to me.
Every section of road we passed closer to the training grounds was one step closer to being safe from poison, being useful, and doing what was needed for Tristan and Onyx.
I kept my focus on that, the promise of where we were headed, and not on the thick air in the carriage. So much so that by the time we rolled to a stop, my leg was bouncing up and down, and I almost leapt out the door as soon as the footman opened it.
Making my way out, my hands in fists, I finally understood what Tristan meant.
Overhead was no longer a wide-open sky.
The entire training grounds were covered in a massive dome supported by sweeping arches of what looked like metal or smooth stone. Through the dome, the sky was visible, but only to a certain extent.
It was muted and turned into a play of light and shadow instead of sun and clouds.
Whatever it was made of, it wasn’t glass. It was in panels that spanned from one arch to another, and there were varying levels of opacity and clarity, almost clear and tinted white.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Tristan asked.
I whirled around to find him staring at me, his smile soft.
“Amazing,” I said, my heart speeding up. “We made it.”
“Yes.” He grinned, stepping closer to me and threading our fingers together. “Now no one can hurt you.”
My stomach dropped. He had to know it was a lie even as he said it.
He may have wanted to believe it, but he had to know, none of us were safe.
“Tristan,” I said, shaking my head.
“No, Cinder, listen.” He came closer and put his other hand to my cheek. “As long as we’re together, I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
“You will.”
“Stop—”
“Listen. I know you want that. I know you believe it. But I want you to promise me. This is a war. We’re not playing a game here, under this dome. I want you to promise me that you won’t try and protect me and hurt yourself in the process. The country needs the Dragon King.”
He let out a long rasping breath that sounded as if he wanted to growl instead, but his hand was still gentle as he moved it from my face to trail down my back and pull me into his arms.
“It won’t come to that,” he said, as if it was a vow.
“Promise me.”
“Wow,” Gus said, staring up and turning slowly in a circle.
“So, which tent is ours?” Jacquetta asked. Her voice in the curl of her lip made it seem as if forcing her to spend time in a tent was a personal insult to her.
Tristan let me go and turned toward my friends, swallowing and shaking his head before he plastered on a good-natured grin.
“I’ll show you to your tent, Ladies.”
As they walked away, leaving me to follow after them, all I could think about was that he didn’t promise.
CHAPTER 32
ALL OF THEM
Our tent was larger than I was expecting.
Standing in the middle of it, I couldn’t help but smile.
“Are the barracks tents this nice?” I asked and Tristan slipped his arms around me, his chest to my back and his palms on my stomach.
“Unfortunately, General Pace thinks tents like this are too extravagant.” He kissed my neck, and I could feel his grin.
My tent was shaped like an x. Three of the offshoots held beds almost as large and opulent as our beds at the palace, filling those sections of the tent from one wall to the other.
Gus and Jacquetta directed the guards carrying in our trunks to the beds that the trunks belonged at the foot of.
If I had my way, I would have put them somewhere I didn’t have to climb over them to get into bed, but I let Gus and Jacquetta set everything up as they chose. Which included moving the round dining table and all four chairs around it to the front of the tent and putting the two desks together with their chairs side by side in the space closest to the beds.
Narrowing my eyes as they unloaded some things from the trunks onto the desks, I shook my head.
They were turning the desks into vanities.
Here.
It didn’t matter, we had a lot of work to do.
“What about your tent?” I whispered, turning my head to kiss Tristan’s cheek.
“Do you want to see it?” His voice was even lower than mine, right into my ear, his lips brushing the earlobe.
A pounding coursed through my veins. I knew I needed to move soon, or I was likely to break my own rule and kiss him even if it was in front of all the people around us who were so far dutifully ignoring us.
“Of course.”
He grinned and broke away, taking my hand to turn us toward the door.
We made our way through the guards moving at steady clips all over the training grounds as all the last things to get this whole process started were put into place.
Two tents and a main thoroughfare sat between Tristan’s and mine, which was fine with me. It would look good for those people who cared, and work well for him coming to spend his nights with me.
But before we reached it, I knew it was his.
Larger than mine, yet still dwarfed by the barracks tents and some of the others the guard were using for I didn’t know what, it was as black as the Obsidian Palace with small flags of the Dragon King sigil flying from the center post and all the corners.
“Subtle,” I muttered, and he grinned.
“For some reason, General Pace said this would be good for morale.” He tugged me in the canvas door, and I had to think about that later.
Inside the tent, it was much larger than I assumed from outside.
Right inside the doorway were two guards, just past them were dummies with different suits of light and heavy armor hanging on them.
I paused, wondering if I was supposed to go any further. This seemed set aside as a kind of foyer, but Tristan pulled me after him past the figures and into a space with a giant metal table with maps of Onyx laid out across it.
Maps of every duchy seemed to be there, in haphazard stacks with small rocks holding down the corners where they wanted to curl.
Beyond the large main space were two open offshoots, one packed with trunks, the other with shelves full of books and parchment. One more offshoot had a panel of canvas covering the entryway, blocking it off.
“This reminds me of your public office at the palace,” I said, looking around at what was a great war room, but seemed like a shitty place to sleep.
“You’re right,” he said, walking backward and pulling on my hand so I followed him to the canvas flap.
