Hearts orders, p.26
Heart’s Orders, page 26
“I always thought she was the prettiest girl on the base,” Helen said, a bit wistfully. “She looks like one of those models or a movie star or something.” Tee turned to her sharply and she added, “And she was always so nice to us, remember, Tee? Helping us with our lessons after class but never show-offy about it.”
“Mm-hmm,” Tee agreed. “You could tell that she’s real smart, too.”
They both turned to Rains, whose face was impassive. “She was kinda hard for you to deal with though, huh, Lieutenant?” Helen asked.
“Why do you say that?” Rains countered.
“Oh, just sometimes after you’d talk with her, it looked like you were kinda upset, like tense or something,” Helen suggested.
“And it seemed like she got KP or had to run laps a lot,” Tee added. “You had to have all those extra meetings with her.”
They were both looking at her expectantly. Rains realized she had to say something, though her mind was thinking back through her last squad leader meeting with Bett in the conference room and that first kiss. She tried to shake off the rush of emotion. “I think Private Smythe adjusted to Army life very well, at least by the end of her basic training.” She squinted a bit, as though giving the matter some consideration. “Given where she is now, I’d have to say I am pleased with her performance.”
*****
Rain was home not more than fifteen minutes after Bett. “I see you got my note,” Bett said, unbuttoning her shirt. Rain watched her, eyes wild and glittering like a stalking wolf, and Bett knew that Rain was indeed going to fuck her and there was nothing she could do or say to stop it. Not that she wanted to. She gave up control and felt Rain take it. She wondered if Rain sensed the want trembling in her as their mouths met. In their bed, Rain pulled Bett on top of her. Bett was surprised that Rain was giving up this power but then, as Bett rocked herself onto Rain in the way that she loved to do, Rain grabbed her hips and stopped her. Then she lowered Bett back down, but only for four or five thrusts, and then stopped her again. “Rain, please,” Bett breathed, but Rain wouldn’t let her finish, kept stopping her just as she began to find her rhythm. Bett’s pleasure built and then stopped, built and then stopped, until she was begging. “Please, let me—”
“Wait,” she heard Rain whisper fiercely. Another cycle of building and stopping.
“I can’t…please—please, Rain. I can’t wait—” Bett began caressing Rain’s breasts, thinking this would make her unable to resist anything for long. But soft flesh and hard nipples made Bett feel her own need even more deeply and she begged again, “Let me—let me come, Rain, please…” Rain let her go then and Bett’s orgasm hit her so quickly she almost missed it. Before the first wave of pleasure had completely stopped, Rain had her on her back, and for the first time, Bett felt Rain’s fingers slide up inside her.
Bett had never asked Rain not to do this, even though it was not something she had ever particularly enjoyed with her past lovers. She just thought Rain’s sense of what Bett wanted had told her this wasn’t it. But as she heard Rain groan, Bett felt Rain’s fingers gliding under the place where she had just come and into something deeper and even more sensitive. Bett gasped aloud and she pushed herself to meet Rain’s movement, finding that contact again. Rain’s breathing was ragged and harsh at her side and Bett was lost in Rain’s strength and her own weakness for that one point, that singular desire Rain was producing over and over. Rain’s motion and the sensations were the same inside her and her need was so intense that everything in her condensed to the one place that only needed Rain’s stroke once more once more once more once more and—
A crest of intensity such as Bett had rarely felt peaked within her and a scream that went on and on found its way out of her throat until she ran out of air. As she tried to catch her breath, she couldn’t stop moving as she felt the same incredible sensation falling away until it was just out of reach. Finally, her body seemed to be slowing of its own accord and there was something else…a ringing sound?
Rain eased her mouth to Bett’s ear. “I’m so sorry, Beloved.”
“Don’t be sorry…for what you make me feel.” Bett could barely repeat the words Rain had said to her after their first time. But it seemed right to say, because loving Rain made everything new.
“No, I’m sorry because there’s someone at the door,” Rain said regretfully.
“What?” Bett tried to process this.
“I think it’s our neighbor. I saw his light go on. I’m afraid if I don’t answer, he’ll call the police.” Rain pushed up, stroking very gently inside her.
“No,” Bett said, not wanting Rain to leave her empty. “Why?” The doorbell rang again.
“He might think you are hurt,” Rain tried to explain, moving completely out of her until Bett made a very sad and disappointed sound. “I’m so sorry,” Rain said again. “Believe me.” And she was gone.
When Rain returned to her arms, Bett made her tell the sequence of events twice. Rain had swiftly put on her robe, poured some milk into a saucepan, and taken it with her to the door as the bell rang for a third time. She had opened the door to Mr. Childress, their sixty-plus-year-old neighbor with his little dog Sissy on a leash. The dog yapped at her until she gave it some milk on her finger. Rain was already on speaking terms with the elderly man; she had first met him out walking with Sissy and he had mentioned his wife had passed away the previous year. Rain had twice shared vegetables with him when there had been fresh produce at the store and she had bought a little extra. Mr. Childress had said that he had just taken Sissy outside when he heard something…a scream? Rain explained her roommate had also awakened her, apparently with a very bad dream. “The war…” Rain had lowered her voice knowingly, eyes downcast, and the neighbor had nodded sympathetically.
“Warm milk’s the best thing to help her get back to sleep.” The man had pointed at the pan.
“That’s what I thought, too,” Rain had agreed. “Hopefully it won’t happen again but…” The man waved as he turned away and Rain closed the door.
“I take it back,” Bett said, relaxing back into Rain’s body after the story was finished. “You have the makings of a very good liar.”
After a few moments of absorbing the perfection of simply being held, she remembered something she’d wanted to discuss before Rain had so wonderfully distracted her. “Did you see Helen and Tee at our squad table today?”
“Yes, and I saw them after lunch also. They wanted to look at Red Cloud.”
“And did you think there was anything unusual going on between them?” Bett asked.
“Unusual, like what is going on between us?” This was Rain’s version of teasing.
“Yes, like that.”
“That unusual thing has been going on with them since the fifth week of basic training. Or that’s when I became aware of it.”
“What!” Bett sat up on her elbow. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Bett, think about what you are saying,” Rain said calmly. “When would I have told you? Not while you were in training with them. Not when I first came to this house and we were getting to know each other in such a different way.” She breathed out a little huff. “Should I have announced, when I finally got you into bed, oh by the way, Helen and Tee would like to be doing this, too?”
“Gale Rains! You know there have been a thousand times that you could have told me, besides the ones you have named.” Bett thought the truth was Rain was just not a gossip. “And incidentally, I’m the one who gets to say finally got you into bed.”
Rain had come to understand that when Bett used her full Army name she was not really mad. Especially if she said it while they were naked. But she spoke soberly. “Bett, it is really not a matter to be discussed lightly. They could have both been dismissed from the WAC, their reputations ruined with blue tickets. When I caught—when I found out, they were obviously both quite shaken, well aware I would have been completely justified to send them home. But, obviously, I did not. Not because of my personal feelings but because professionally I believe what was between them had nothing to do with whether or not they would become good soldiers. And I made sure they understood that. They had done good work to that point and have continued to do so since then, so I feel my decision was justified.” Rain turned over on her stomach, propping her head up on her arms. There was a little space between her and Bett. She looked into the distance. “Someday you or I may find ourselves in a position where someone else has our future in their hands, as I did with Helen and Tee. It’s hard to say how we might react or what might become of us then.”
Bett reached out to stroke Rain’s hair. “Are you worried, Beloved?”
Rain raised her head, squinting into an unseen distance. “No…not now. But you never know when the storm will come.”
*****
“Amen.” Helen raised her head and waited a few seconds before she turned to look at the woman next to her on the bench—pew, she corrected herself. There was more to learn about church than there had been in all of their basic training courses combined, but she really didn’t mind. The only thing she minded about church was they couldn’t sit close or hold hands, and certainly not kiss. But the brilliant smile Tee favored her with made it all worthwhile.
She’d been surprised at Tee’s willingness to give her another chance until she understood they would be starting all over. All over, as in just friends, which meant no touching and no teasing or suggestive comments. Once Tee had even said, “Stop looking at me like that.” Helen hadn’t even pretended she didn’t know what Tee meant. She was working hard at seeing that line between right and wrong that Tee expected her to know, and she was certain lying was one thing people with a compass inside wouldn’t do—not even pretend lying.
Bit by bit, Tee had pushed her toward talking with Reverend Culberson. When Helen finally agreed, she thought she’d shock the reverend by telling her she wasn’t a believer. Driving the three hours to meet their supplier in Waterloo the next day, she found their conversation about her lack of belief in God or Jesus rattling around in her head. The pleasant-looking older woman hadn’t been the least bit upset by her declaration. The issue, she’d responded, wasn’t that you had to believe exactly like someone else. She said she knew many good people who had very different religious faiths or who were atheists. The important thing, she told Helen, was that you believe in something, even if that something was simply working every day on being the best person you could be. Helen had never even considered you had to work at being a good person. She thought some people just were, and the rest just weren’t. Reverend Culberson gently disagreed, telling her everyone had both good and bad in them. She then asked Helen to make a list of what she thought were her five best and five worst qualities for their next talk.
Helen decided she liked this lady preacher. She was smart, but it wasn’t the same kind of book smart as Bett. It seemed like the reverend was smart about people, instead of subjects, and she had a welcoming way about her—never making Helen feel like she didn’t deserve to be there. Still, she put off actually writing anything for a few days, but the idea of it wasn’t ever far from her thoughts. The worst side was pretty easy. In fact, she had more than enough there. What she needed were some good parts to balance it out. For some reason, she didn’t want to tell Tee about her assignment, so asking her was out of the question. Not Lieutenant Rains either, since her commander probably wouldn’t be able to come up with much good about her right now. So when she happened to catch a glimpse of Bett walking near the motor pool, she scurried to catch up with her.
After some quick initial pleasantries, Helen asked, “Could you help me with something for a minute?”
Bett smiled, and Helen was reminded of how gorgeous she was. “Of course. As long as it’s nothing mechanical.”
Helen couldn’t stop herself from smiling back. “Nah, nothing like that. It’s really kinda embarrassing, but is there anything good about me you can think of?”
“What?” Bett asked, genuinely confused.
Don’t lie, Helen reminded herself, not quite meeting Bett’s eyes. “So, there’s this assignment I have where I have to write down five good things and five bad things about myself. I’m not having any trouble coming up with the bad stuff, but…” She looked up hopefully. “You got any suggestions for something on the other side?”
Bett stepped closer, putting her hand on Helen’s arm. “Oh, Helen. I certainly do. You’ve been a loyal friend and you have a great sense of humor. You can be very sweet but I think inside you are also strong.” She seemed to be considering her next words carefully. “I’m not quite sure how to put this, but I think you are good at figuring out what you want, and then you go after it without hesitation. Like the way you wanted to drive those big trucks since you first got here, and now you are. I guess that would be persistent or tenacious? Or strong-willed?” She smiled again. “I know because I have that trait myself, so I recognize it in you, too.”
“Some people might call that stubborn,” Helen suggested, before she realized Bett might be insulted. But the blonde laughed again, though she did move her hand away.
“Yes, that’s true. Or even obsessive, I suppose. But I think you should say determined. How’s that for a start? Did we get five, or six?”
Helen hadn’t written anything down, but she was pretty sure she wouldn’t forget anything Bett had said. “Yeah, thanks, Bett. Thanks a lot.”
To her surprise, Bett hugged her and murmured, “I’m so proud of what you did to help Lieutenant Rains figure out the black market scam. And I’m glad you’re still here.”
When she stepped back, the words came out before Helen could even think about what she was saying. “Would you like to go for a drink sometime?”
Fortunately, Bett spoke at the same time. “How’s Tee doing?”
“Maybe dinner out?” Helen amended quickly. “We could all go.”
Bett’s eyes flicked toward the motor pool building and Helen turned to see Lieutenant Rains coming toward them. Shit. She was supposed to have been on duty five minutes ago but she’d stopped to talk to Bett instead.
“Private Tucker, you are late for sign-in.”
She didn’t need to look to know what Lieutenant Rains’s expression would be. Helen knew she was on the verge of a serious reprimand, but Bett spoke before the lieutenant could continue.
“That’s entirely my fault, Lieutenant. Helen and I didn’t get to visit much at Thanksgiving, and she was kind enough to spend a few minutes catching up.” She smiled up at Rains and Helen saw something different in that smile, something more personal than the way Bett had smiled at her. “Will you forgive my distracting her?”
She looked at Rains and was amazed to see the lieutenant’s face soften into a return smile. She even had a glint of humor in her eyes when she replied, “Distracting soldiers from their duty might have earned you a demerit, back in basic training.”
Bett’s reply was entirely playful. “Well then, I’m certainly glad I’m not in basic training anymore.”
“As am I, Sergeant,” Rains countered quickly, sounding serious but not looking it at all.
Helen sensed this was the perfect moment for her to slip away without punishment. “I’ll just…” She pointed toward the motor pool building, but neither of them paid her the slightest attention. When she looked back before entering, the lieutenant and Bett were still standing there, having even moved a little closer together, and she caught the sound of Bett’s laughter just before the door swung shut behind her.
*****
During their second talk, after Reverend Culberson graciously pointed out ways that Helen’s whole list of weaknesses could become strengths, they continued discussing the kind of person she was until Helen steered the conversation toward who she needed to be to make Tee happy. Of course, she didn’t put it exactly like that, although she had a feeling the reverend knew exactly who her theoretical relationship questions were about, since her answers seemed to fit Tee perfectly.
“You have to be real, your authentic self,” the reverend explained. “Putting on an act just to make the other person happy will lead to one of two outcomes, neither of which is good. One, you’re so good at pretending that the person falls in love with the fake you and now you’re stuck living a lie for the rest of your life, or the person finds out you’ve been playacting and they leave, feeling like you’ve played them for a fool.”
Helen stored that idea away as something to think about the next time she was on the road.
Then the reverend said, “Next time I’d like to hear a little about your family, Helen. Your parents and any siblings and other relatives you’d like to talk about. Or anyone else significant in your life as a youngster.”
Helen bristled. “That’ll be a short story. My daddy’s dead and my mother’s a whore. I got one older brother who’s great and my Aunt Darcy, well, she’s always been real good to me, too. Mr. Hall, the town postman, he taught me to drive. That’s about it. Any other questions?”
They always sat in two facing chairs, but now Reverend Culberson stood and walked over to her desk. “What time next week?” was all she asked.
*****
But that next week her name was on the board for her first overnight excursion. Helen was thrilled to see she would be driving the biggest of the Army cargo vehicles, a GMC CCKW two-and-a-half ton truck. Helen could barely contain her excitement until she noticed she would also have company. A girl she only knew as one of the new mechanics, PFC Toomer, was assigned to share the driving, and they would also be bunking together. They would arrive late in Louisville, Kentucky, stay overnight, and then pick up a load of new synthetic tires at the B.F. Goodrich plant there and return to base. Lieutenant Rains called her into her office the day before she was to leave, gesturing for her to sit.
