Quantum state, p.13
Quantum State, page 13
Kir leads us toward the back of the Cylindrical where we first found the blueprints on the wall, the blood that led us to him, and he just stands there.
“What are we waiting for?” I prod.
“Do you know that the Cylindrical is life?” he answers in a riddle, something I really don't need right now.
“Life?” My face must have contorted as my feet shuffle underneath me, my eyes searching the walls for anything, something to make this all make sense.
“Water is life.”
“Water?” Esfir's lips twist and his fingers play with the walls.
“Don't you ever wonder how the park is covered with green grass, or how you get a jug of water at your front door every morning?” We all stare at each other, me and Esfir particularly silent as our attention to the wall falls on Kir. “Where does the water come from?”
“So, you're saying this—” my hands wave around “—this Cylindrical, not the bots, supplies us the water Cherni needs to survive?”
“Supply it, my dear Masha?” Kir grins and almost laughs. “Irrigation and jugs of water are one thing, but creation, Masha, creation of H2O is quite another.”
Esfir's loose fingers wave in front of him. “You mean the Cylindrical creates H2O for the district?”
“Creates H2O, and helps keep balance in the atmosphere. Don't believe me?” Kir smiles, as if we're lost to some joke he's found. “Follow me.”
State of Discord
I can hardly believe what Kir tells me, us, as he hits a button on the wall, another button invisible to the eye, but when examined closely enough is a long, silver slit. The floor below Kir rumbles and a passageway opens up, leading us downward to a circular stairwell. After I turn to Esfir and he nods, I follow behind Kir first.
Underneath the Cylindrical is machinery of sorts extending for a few hundred yards, or at least as far as my eyes can see. “What is this place?”
Kir cranks his neck back, his smile now more of a grin as he replies, “Cherni's underground process for H2O creation…and I imagine the same process for Chekhov and other districts as well.”
We walk past tubes and steel hoses shooting off gases, and tubs of water sitting in the middle, and all the while a humming of metal grinding rings in my ears.
“It's hot down here,” I say.
“The H2O process has likely been the same for decades, maybe even longer,” Kir confesses.
“But how…why?” Esfir pushes forward, his curiosities getting the better of him as he wanders farther from me and Kir, examining everything.
Kir places his hand over a rubber tube and squeezes, the gas building up before he releases it into the air. “Do you ever see rain in Cherni?”
My face is an emphatic no.
Kir finishes, “There has not been rain in Cherni for quite some time.”
I stop dead in my tracks, almost scoffing at Kir. “So, you mean to tell me that this stupid thing is for making sure we get enough water, and isn't—” My hands flail about, “—isn't some spy equipment?”
Kir looks at me sternly, his hands over my shoulders now, firm. “If this structure was for spying, then MAQS would have known where Masha and I were hiding during the rebellion. MAQS would have found me and locked me up too.”
“You can't be sure.” Now, I become paranoid and glance around the room, my eyes turning to the high ceiling. “Maybe it's all some kind of a trick, a test. Maybe she wants you to lead us here?”
“And the water?” Kir turns to the tub of H2O in front of us. “Another trick?”
Esfir plods over toward us. “Kir is right. This is a system designed to create water. I can see H2O being made up there, right from the air!” He points ahead to where he wandered.
I follow him in haste, not wanting to waste any time, and stop solidly before a glass container the size of a small tree trunk. “You mean this?” I point.
“Yeah, just watch,” Esfir says, and we both watch, mesmerized, as air inside the container seems to miraculously turn into water. The water sifts out of the container moments later and then drains through glass pipes and into a tub at the center where all the water seems to be stored.
“Do you believe me now?” Kir asks, sure of himself. Sure, like Esfir gets about too many things, things I can never be sure of anymore.
I don't have an answer. I only know that it's getting late and I have to get home before my parents. “I have to get home,” I say to them, and look to the stairwell that led us here.
Kir nods, his eyes closing as if he's been disappointed by people for too long to let this lack of trust bother him. Then, he leads me back up the stairwell, followed by Esfir, and out the main door to take us to the park, and then I say my farewells.
“I have to go,” I repeat. A big part of me wants to stay, to get to know this man—this friend of Mama's—but I can't.
“I know,” Kir replies. “I'll be around.” Before I turn away from him and walk off with Esfir, he grabs my shoulder one last time. “You won't be trying to escape tomorrow, will you?” His eyes sit heavy on mine. “There is nothing out there for you. Just pain.”
I don't say no and I don't say yes, because I just don't know. I turn from him and continue home. I have a lot to think about, and my mind is racing faster than my legs. By the time I get to the house, my parents are there. Luckily, I locked my bedroom door. I climb in through my window with Esfir helping me by holding my feet with his locked palms.
After I slip into my bedroom, Esfir closes the window and I crawl in under the covers. If I wasn't really sick, I surely feel so now. The prior night of half-sleep and the long day today have completely and utterly drained me.
My eyes close and I must have dozed off, because I hear banging on the bedroom door later that rips me from a dream. I can't even remember what the dream is now, but I still hear banging. I clumsily walk to the door, and remember to cough as I turn the knob.
“Mama,” I say to soothe her obvious frustration.
“Why didn't you open up? I gave you some time to sleep when I got home, but it's past dinner now and I think you really need to eat something.” Her whine is endearing. I know she cares.
“Sorry, I meant to get up, and then fell back to sleep.”
“You must have really caught something. I'm going to call the doctorbot.”
I shake my head vigorously. “No, no, really, I'm feeling much better. I think I'll be able to make it to school tomorrow.” Besides, if the doctorbot diagnoses me, it'll know I'm not sick.
She stares at me, her usual eagle eye softer on me. “Okay, just get up and have some stew. It'll make you feel better.”
“I will.” I plod over the floor and hear Julian roll around his crib after being fed his bottle. I sit at the dining table where Papa reads his newspaper, as if any real news is going to be mentioned there, and take a sniff of the carrot, onion, and potato stew my stepmum prepared. She's become a master chef at that recipe. Not as tasty as Mama's, for sure, but it'll do.
I take a few bites, while Papa watches me—scrutinizes me—before speaking. “So, you're feeling better, I hear?”
“Yeah, I think that day of rest really helped.” I eat a few more spoonfuls of stew before pouring myself another bowl. I'm famished.
“And developed quite an appetite, I see.”
I smile as I eat more, just glad I haven't aroused suspicions. The last thing I need while trying to break in to destroy the MAQS system is my parents on my case.
After dinner, I head to bed and really sleep this time—all night. By morning, my mantra is four days left, four days left, and I feel anxious again. Pod classes are as usual, and I finish assignments we've been given while I dodge questions from Darya and try to avoid Anna. Instead, I contemplate what I'm going to do when I get home.
After meeting Kir, I'm not so sure about escaping Cherni anymore. Outside sounds dangerous, and I don't have a way to keep water to stay hydrated. Perhaps using the key is the better plan now?
I'll have to meet Esfir first at his Pod, after his classes let out, and we'll need to sneak up to the town hall and break in while everyone is asleep. MAQS is down there—underground somewhere—and I'm going to have to face her if I want to know why we are all here, tucked away inside this district, why we aren't allowed to leave, or even investigate the machines, the bots, why everything we say is recorded by Echos and why MAQS, above all else, tells us what to do with our lives. If I want things to change, I'm going to have to be brave, because if Kir is right, then going outside won't give any answers—just more confusion, and maybe even death. He escaped his district of Chekhov and look at him. He's gotten nowhere but another dead-end district.
In literature class, Anna and Darya watch me as if I've betrayed them in some way by not being here yesterday to fill them in on all the latest to-be-married gossip, and I keep my head low, just wanting to get through the day. At lunch, Darya pops up behind me, insistent.
“So, you're feeling better, aren't you? Well enough to marry, right?” She says this like she doesn't mean it, like she would be first in line to marry Kazimir if I failed somehow, or died. Of course, the decision wouldn't be up to her, anyway—but she doesn't strike me as someone who cares when it comes to matters of the heart.
She broke up Agatha and Joachim last year when she developed a crush on Joachim, and she didn't talk to her best friend Vera the year before for a few months while Vera snuck around with a guy she liked from class. Luckily, they made up afterward.
“Yeah, well enough,” I answer as I take the peanut butter sandwich out from my bag and first take a bite from an orange. A different fruit today. Lucky me.
“Well, that's good, 'cuz the wedding is not far away. Just…”
“In four days,” I say plainly, as if the notion doesn't bother me at all, because the last person I want in my emotional business is Darya.
“So, do you know what you'll be wearing? Where the wedding will be held? I'll be invited, right?” Darya can't stop talking, and I almost answer her with I don't know and I don't know and I don't know before Vera butts between us, thankfully.
“Let the girl breathe, my goodness!” Vera replies, and Inna smiles behind her, munching on carrots.
Anna twists her blonde locks as if nothing matters more than this conversation, and I've simply grown too tired of it and burst out with anger. “Look! I'll likely be seeing Kazimir later tonight and we'll figure it all out then. Until then, shut up!”
Anna's face squishes like she does when she's bitten something sour, and Darya grimaces. “Geesh, Masha, sure have become conceited since your engagement.”
Vera and Inna roll their eyes at their so-called friends as I desperately take another bite of my fruit.
When Pod is finally over, I make my way to Esfir's district and wait for him to make it to the miniature grass mound in front of his Pod, the one he always sits on before heading home. There are so few areas with grass that we like to enjoy it every chance we get.
“Hey, Masha!” Esfir sees me and shouts as I wave him over to me, and he plops beside me.
I clasp my hands over his ear and say in a hushed whisper, “So, I've been thinking about our great escape, and maybe the better plan is the one you had. The one where we break into town hall.” Esfir listens intently. “If Kir hasn't found any answers outside, then it's doubtful we will either.”
Esfir nods and answers without a whisper, “This is the only way to end this.”
“After the sun is down,” I whisper to him. “I'll meet you here. Then, we'll break into town hall.”
He clasps his hands over my ear. “You can still say no.”
“I want to do this.”
“Then let's do it,” he replies, his fingers playing with my loose strands of hair, and then I tap my wristwatch.
“I have to get going. Parents. Curfew. Laws,” I say tritely, and Esfir grins.
“Later.”
When I make it to my house, I'm greeted with smells of pumpkin spice. My stepmum shouts to me while still entering through the front door. “We're having pumpkin bread and pumpkin soup.”
“Sound good,” I say, thankful my papa's a gardener. Anna and Esfir never get to eat this well. Usually they eat the same meal four days a week. Some variation on potatoes. That's why I like dropping off baskets of muffins at Esfir's place. I used to do this for Anna when we were younger, before she became like Darya. I head to my bathroom and wash up for dinner.
Dinner is routine as usual and I don't say anything that will alarm suspicion or cause an argument before heading to my bedroom. Rare for me, and maybe that's suspicious in its own right, but I don't want to start trouble.
I really wish Esfir could meet me at my window, that I could hear the rap of his knuckles over the glass to let me know I'll have a companion in my crawl out of the window. But it makes no sense for Esfir to backtrack. Town hall is located past his zone and Pod, and we'd have to cross both to get there.
At his Pod for the second time today, Esfir waits for me behind a birch tree. A fluffy one, the only one in front of his Pod. As I walk toward him, I pass the Echo, slapping it with my hands before a slight kick.
At the tree, Esfir pulls me behind the tree with him as I pass unwittingly, still searching for him. Then, he wraps his arms around me tight. I expect Esfir to be many things. To be loyal, to be honest, to be strong, to be brave. But unbridled romance is not his forte.
He kisses me, his lips lingering on mine for longer than I can ever remember, and when he releases me, I finally catch my breath. “What was that for?”
“For always being beside me. For being the only other person I can rely on. Just in case we never see each other again.”
“Don't say that. We're going to do this. We just have to.”
We hide behind trees and the corners of buildings—labs where our atmosphere is studied or DNA is sampled—homes, and even a few greenhouses where harvesting of vegetables and fruits is done. MAQS says that even though Cherni doesn't get cold, she wants to ensure the health of the plants and that we can't always rely on the atmosphere, so greenhouses are used.
The sky is black, the kind of black that happens after a fire dies and only coals remain. The moon hangs low and her light is vibrant. I'm thankful for that, because there is no other light on the vacant streets.
When we approach town hall, my eyes fix over the large building, the rectangular shape and solid stairs leading to the front's tinted glass doors. The building doesn't look like much, not like something that would harbor all the secrets of our existence—of MAQS'—but then, nothing in Cherni is what it appears.
“You ready?” Esfir asks as we step onto the first step of town hall.
“For Mama.”
Just as I finish my sentence and I'm about to take another step, I feel a tug on my sleeve. The darkness has blurred the face, and I don't know who I'm staring at. “Who are you?!” I demand.
“I knew you were up to something,” a female voice says accusatorially. Her voice is so familiar.
“Darya!”
“And Inna!” Darya confesses, as I see a shadow nudge the arm of someone beside her.
“What are you two doing here?”
Darya retorts, “Following you! I knew you couldn't let Esfir go, let your mama go. I knew you were a bad apple. I just needed proof, so that Kazimir would see you for who you really are. So that—”
I finish for her, “So that he'd refuse to marry me?”
“Kazimir deserves better than you.” Darya's words hit harder than her grip around my wrist—the one with my ribbon—preventing me from moving forward over the steps to my truth.
“You mean he deserves you?!” I push her backward, and she holds on firmly for a girl who's a few marbles short of a full bag. Then another shadow knocks into Darya and I can only hear the splat of her body on the ground below me, but when she stops speaking, I imagine she's been knocked out.
Moonlight finally grazes over the faces and I see Kazimir standing beside Inna—and then it occurs to me how similar their angular noses are, the slanted shape of their eyes and their similar sturdy dispositions.
“Kazimir?!” I feel shaky, my plans all rattling inside of my brain. “What are you doing here?!”
“Stopping you from making a big mistake.” His breaths are heavy on my face.
“What are you talking about?” I plead, as if I'm innocent, though the guilt is written all over my shadowed face.
“I know what you're planning. I remember our drunken night. The questions. The key. What I told you about KLI. You want in.”
I'm dead silent.
“Don't even try to deny it. I've seen it in your eyes ever since I first met you. You can't let go of your mama. You have to finish what she started.”
“And so what?!” I defend, my breaths hot. “Who are you to stop me? To turn me in? I, we, have a right to know the truth, to make the world better for ourselves, for our children, to not be controlled by this…this quantum computer.”
Kazimir looks to Inna for a moment, like he recognizes her, and then glances back at me.
“How did you even know I was going to be here?!”
For the first time, I hear Inna, her voice low like a tabla drum. “Kazimir told me to keep eyes on you.”
“You've been spying on me?” I say angrily as Esfir stays firm at my side, keeping quiet.
“Ever since the engagement,” Inna says. I let that sink in, that everything I've been doing, all my sneaking around, has been watched by Inna and relayed to Kazimir. “When Darya confessed to me that she was going to follow you today after Pod, I knew I had to join her.”
“So, that's why the three of you ended up here.”
“Yes,” Inna responds.
“But why her? Why Inna, Kazimir?”
Kazimir takes a step closer to me, with Esfir still quiet at my side like a protective statue. “Because she…she's my half-sister.”
