“Scared you,” she commented with surety.

  Chait chuckled despite the tension he held in his frame and I shot him a look. Asshole. “That wasn’t funny,” I growled.

  “Alright, Mr. Not Funny,” she chimed and looked at Chait, “What’s your name?”

  “Chait.”

  “And you, Mr. Not Funny?”

  “Maddox,” I grunted.

  She slid off the rail onto the bridge as I finally relaxed. Her eyes sparkled as her wings closed against her ribs. “I’m Maize.”

  Now, why the hell did that name make my heart squeeze uncomfortably?

  Now, I fucking knew why. Because in the matter of months, I’d wound myself around her goddamn finger. I hadn’t even realized how far I’d fallen for Maize until I realized I would do anything for her. Despite her distance, I knew she cared about Chait and me. I also knew it drove her crazy.

  I wasn’t scared of her past, though, or her powers. She was far more scared of herself, her own worst enemy. Besides, I knew precisely what her extended wings meant, and every time I saw them, I got harder knowing she was attracted to me. More than merely attracted to me if I was correct.

  So much of my life had been ugly, frankly. The part of the community I had grown up in had been far poorer than the rest of the Horde, and I’d started fighting pretty young. Way too young. That was why I’d learned to control myself so early on because I knew that if I got to work, I wouldn’t be able to fight well. Not well enough to ensure I was winning. My hand came up to my throat, knowing the line emphasized that exact fucking point.

  Maize was far too beautiful to be in my life. I know she considered herself wrecked and ruined. But she was far from it. Everything from the scars on her body to the small, almost secretive smile she offered me sometimes was beyond gorgeous. It was why I had kept her a secret for so long. Selfish and possessive of me? Absolutely. I couldn’t help it, though. I also couldn’t help the punch I’d landed right in Charm’s arrogant face when she’d stormed from the training room.

  Although, I hadn’t needed to do much after. His punishment was his own guilt, and he was feeling it hard. I understood it more than anyone because the few times Maize and I had fought, had made me feel guilty. Nothing compared to when I said something that unintentionally hit home.

  I had the look that hit her face each and every time, ingrained in my nightmares.

  Her face would blank, turning utterly neutral, and she would seem to go a million miles away in a single second. Her eyes would turn into deep blue depths, a haunted shadow would pass over her face. Maize didn’t have to say anything to let you know she was upset, unlike her other emotions it was very clear when you hit a soft spot. Some would call it a weakness, but I relied on that shit.

  The others needed to learn real fast to keep up.

  Or not. Or they could fuck off, but it would be without Maize.

  The woman didn’t want to be saved. She wanted to be loved, respected, and authentically cared about. She wanted someone that wanted to be by her side, not control her. She wanted a partner, not a master, and I couldn’t tell you how much I loved that. I just hoped the others would realize it, namely Valerio and Charm. The first was bound to try to reign over her and Charm…well, who the fuck knew with him.

  He wasn’t wrong about training, though. She did need to learn to play offense.

  I wondered how long it would take for them to realize how this should play out. As a team and virtually a family, the goal would be one day to share a mate. It was common and not that odd, but finding someone that fit seven unique personalities? That shit was difficult. The teams that were smaller had it far easier. Well, I had thought it would be difficult, at least. Until I saw Maize interacting with the team and realized it wasn’t about finding someone that ‘fit’ but rather Maize just being Maize. Unbending in her ways and sweet at the center of a nearly unbreakable shell.

  I hoped they wouldn’t screw this up, and that I or Chait could convince her this would be a good thing before she…well, completely disappeared. Because that was my biggest fear.

  As I said, the woman was flighty and still new to freedom, so she didn’t know where she wanted to land. Once she did, I had no doubt she would stay put because she liked stability, but until then? Who the hell knew? I knew if she freaked out enough, she would leave, and I needed to work like hell to convince her that this was the place to stay. This could be her home.

  Although, her comments about her ‘students’ hating her worried me. I needed to keep a better eye on the tone of the others here at the academy and not just her. It was a damn near impossible feat, though. She captured my undivided attention.

  Pausing a few feet back, I watched as she sunk down against a large tree trunk and lit a cigarette. I narrowed my eyes at it, wanting her to stop doing any shit that could hurt her, even if not as bad as those damn delicate humans.

  I had no idea how long I stood there watching her, but eventually, she stood and turned towards me. I didn’t even attempt to hide, and I had a feeling she had known I’d been there for a bit. Her eyes were filled with exhaustion as she walked towards me, looking far too defeated for my liking. The minute she was in reach, I pulled her towards me, not giving a shit about her control on her magic. If she poisoned me, I would either die, or she would save me, and then she really couldn’t leave. The idea was tempting although I would much rather she chose to stay herself.

  “I can’t stay here, Maddox,” she mumbled into my chest.

  “Of course you can,” I stated softly with surety.

  She pulled back, frowning. “No, I fucking can’t. You have no idea…it’s too damn complicated, all of this.”

  “You’re complicating it in your head,” I accused softly.

  “Fuck you, no, I’m not!” She whispered with no heat.

  “You can’t help who you are attracted to, and you really can’t help who your mates are,” I put it out there. When her body froze in my hands, I just tightened my grip further.

  “You know? Do the others?” She looked terrified. Ah. She was afraid of being trapped…or afraid of hurting someone. Or both.

  “It was a guess mostly on my end, so no,” I murmured, glad to have confirmed that.

  “Mad,” she whispered the nickname she coined and only used sometimes.

  “I won’t tell anyone, but you should,” I said softly, “it would explain a lot to them about how they are feeling.”

  “I don’t want people wanting me because of a stupid bond.”

  “You know it’s not like that,” I warned.

  She shook her head, and I angled it back, looking down at her. “Promise me you won’t leave until you’ve talked to them?”

  Her eyes darkened. “Maybe.”

  It wasn’t good enough, but it would have to be for tonight. Honestly, the poison idea wasn’t sounding bad. Was I desperate to keep her? Absolutely. Who wouldn’t be?

  “Let’s get you back inside,” I murmured, and she followed quietly, my hand intertwined with hers. I wasn’t one for optimism, but I knew Maize was underneath a storm cloud of epic proportions. We just needed to break out of it. Anchor down until it is over.

  Couldn’t be that hard, right?

  Chapter 11

  Maize

  I didn’t sleep that night, but I didn’t lock my door either.

  I suppose it was half curiosity and half not wanting to leave my spot on the armchair. Maddox had left me with a soft brush of the lips before I could stop him, so I figured he probably wouldn’t be back. Why did I sort of hope the others would show? My eyes watched the fire, and eventually, as the night went on, I realized no one had tried to see how I was doing. Mind you, I had gone straight into the shower when I got back after avoiding their questions because I had no idea what to say.

  So maybe they were mad at me. Or maybe Valerio had told them to stop with the questions because he had quit asking, too. I shivered, thinking about his dark eyes and the way he seemed to be always watching me. Someway, somehow. It was, overall, a very odd feeling. Wanting to be wanted but also needing distance. Wanting them there but also fearing their presence.

  This morning I had gotten ready earlier than the previous days and now sat in the dining hall for lunch, having explored for most of the morning. Of course, I’d gotten dirty looks, but most of the academy students had been focused on classes and going throughout the estate. The concept of teaching ran through my head once again, and I wondered if they wouldn’t hate me if I hadn’t been considered the enemy. If I would be any good at teaching. It was something I’d never considered honestly.

  I stared down at the sandwich I was nibbling at, having not sat up front at the large empty table but on a small one to the side. The room was maybe a quarter full and no one was really paying attention to me. Which was, of course, why it shocked me when the chair across from me squeaked back, and I looked up to find a pair of warm brown eyes. I smiled at Alexander, happy to see him again, honestly. Another shadow grabbed my attention. Dropping into the chair next to him was a man who shared Alexander’s features. From his warm chocolate eyes to his full lips, although the latter was pinched in a deep scowl. The only other difference between the two, was that Alexander was more lean to his brother’s more muscular physique. Day and night personalities but exactly the same looking.

  “You look down,” Alexander pointed out.

  I chuckled softly, “Nothing new, you here for lunch?”

  “No, we’d been going out, but he made us stop in here,” his brother gritted out, looking pissed.

  Alexander rolled his eyes, “This is my brother, Griffin. Why is he acting like such an ass? No fucking idea. He’s weird like that.”

  Griffin’s ears turned pink as he slouched slightly, his eyes flickering towards me before going back to his brother. I fought a smile and realized it was nice as hell to be talking to people I wasn’t attracted to and who weren’t sneering at me.

  “Nice to meet you, I’m Maize,” I offered with slight awkwardness.

  His eyes moved towards me and sighed, “Nice to meet you, Maize, although I think everyone knows who you are.”

  “Dude,” Alexander admonished.

  “He’s right, I’m literally also the only woman,” I muttered.

  Griffin chuckled, “Yeah, it’s actually a bit ridiculous when you think on it.”

  “Right?” I grinned slightly.

  Alexander smiled, “So will you come with us since my brother isn’t an irredeemable asshole?”

  Griffin growled, “It’s not her, it’s the fucking day. You know that.”

  I smiled at his honesty. “You sure you're cool with me going?”

  “Yes,” he amended. I pushed my plate away and stood, feeling a bit more positive. One thing I realized pretty quickly was that the days were essentially boring. You could only train so much, and it seemed that the commanders, unsurprisingly, had their days filled with important shit to do. At least this offered me something to do.

  “Where are we going?” I asked as we walked out, tightening my jacket around me. We left through a side door that led towards the front, and I found myself breathing in the fresh air with a small smile on my face.

  “Pub,” Alexander chirped, “just for the Red Masques, it’s nearby.”

  “Probably won’t serve me,” I offered quietly.

  Griffin scoffed, “They will trust me.”

  I listened quietly as Alexander pestered his brother with questions about his current problem. I felt a surge of jealousy that he had someone who so clearly was interested in his day. Although the fact that they were talking about a girl that ‘ghosted’ him was funny as shit. Apparently, there was some difficulty with communication.

  “Don’t you agree?” Alexander prompted.

  I searched Griffin’s face, “So she just stopped wanting to hang out?”

  “Haven’t heard from her in two weeks,” he sulked, “I would assume she had moved on, but every time I see her she’s alone.”

  “He goes out of his way to see her from a distance,” Alexander rolled his eyes.

  “Why don’t you go up to her?” I offered, curiously.

  Before either of them could answer, I groaned as magic hit me right in the center of my chest, throwing me back into the snow. My back radiated pain as I inhaled sharply, feeling a hard rock underneath me. My head snapped up as I found the asshole that threatened me in the garden, with four other guys laughing as they passed us. I snarled, standing up but Alexander stilled me, offering a head shake. They didn’t wait around, and instead, the one asshole winked at me, his elemental ice magic leaving me fucking frozen.

  “I should kill him,” I growled quietly. It was different before when he had just told me to get the fuck out. But to attack me openly? That was some bullshit.

  “Not worth it,” Griffin offered softly, “not even the commanders can touch him. His uncle is one of the advisers to the SE commanders. He’s untouchable. We’ve tried.”

  Makes sense why he made threats so easily. I rubbed my chest and looked towards the door of the pub where a bartender stood polishing a drink and offering me a sad understanding look. Maybe Charm was right and I needed some fucking offense.

  “I need a drink,” I admitted, my body sagging slightly, and Alexander hummed in agreeance. Minutes later I was seated at a table, and the bartender from before, an older man, slid an ale across the table’s surface.

  “First one is free because you didn’t kill that asshole on my property,” he muttered.

  I totally actually laughed at that.

  Around three hours later and five sheets to the wind, I was having a much better time. I sat between the Smith twins, the three of us drank down a few pitchers of ale, my tolerance actually fairly impressive. Luckily, I knew I could sober up if needed.

  If I wanted to…which I didn’t. Not yet. My lips were open in a smile and my cheeks and chest hurt from laughing. About thirty minutes into our drinking, the bar had begun to get more popular, and I could feel eyes on me. Luckily, they weren’t hostile. I was starting to wonder if everyone had a problem with me or just some people. I hoped for the latter.

  You should still get the hell out of dodge, Maize. This won’t end well for you. Caring for someone has never ended well for you.

  I listened eagerly as the boys complained about being unit commanders and the fucking nightmare that the men I lived with were. I also learned they were both elemental mages, Griffin far more powerful with water and Alexander fire. I even tried to give Griffin advice on his girl problems, but let's face it, I had no room to talk about romance. Time began to lose meaning as the voices in the bar rose, our laughter was for sure one of the loudest. My eyes were tearing up as Alexander told a story about some new recruit that tried to break into his room to get ‘revenge’ at night for hard training…except Alexander had been wide awake having heard his noisy ass two flights down. Our conversation turned back to the head commanders, as I tried to not let the topic sour my mood because I was far too interested in them entirely.

  “I honestly think half of us almost fell to the floor when we saw Philip holding hands with you walking into the dining hall,” Griffin chuckled, tossing his ale back, “that man is a fucking monster.”

  “Not as bad as Cannon,” Alexander snarled, “I’m convinced the man enjoys breaking people during training.”

  Why was that sort of hot to hear about my wolfman? I blushed at that thought and how aggressive I bet he could get in other situations… and I needed to stop myself.

  I shook my head, “That isn’t possible, they are both super sweet.” Alright, a bit odd and totally intense, I could just see the crazy in Philip. The man who had been oddly quiet since the other night when I’d zoned out, I didn’t want to consider what he had or hadn’t been able to see in my dreams, probably not alerting me that he was there.

  Or he had given up because I wouldn’t let him into my room. Possible.

  Both brothers grinned and laughed. “To you. Sweet to you. Trust me. Those men are as mental and nightmarish as they come in the Horde. People specifically avoid them during their day to day lives and hate classes with them. They have a habit of giving everyone a sample of their powers or randomly ‘testing’ them.”

  Cold wind blew in, but I was too focused on Alexander’s words. You know because I was totally obsessed with knowing way too much about my mates. There was that word again. I blinked trying to clear my vision as a wave of dizziness hit me. Alright, I was drunk as hell.

  “They sound like assholes,” I snorted, not even surprised someone like Charm would pull that shit. I sighed feeling familiar magic. Fantastic timing, Maize. Bloody fantastic.

  “Angel face,” a dangerous voice purred behind me and caused a shiver of awareness to ripple down my spine. “I had no idea you had such a dirty mouth.”

  Alright, was it only me or does everyone think of blow jobs when they hear that? No? Just me? Because I sort of wanted to show him how dirty I could be with my mouth…

  Alexander and Griffin both paled, causing me to turn my head to look up at Zed’s pretty lavender gaze. I tried to keep my face blanked but instead giggled, taking another sip of my drink because hell did he look worked up or what… “Don’t worry Zed, I wasn’t talking about you…much.” I couldn’t help snickering as his eyes blazed.

  He spun my chair, grabbing his own and capturing my knees between his massive legs so I couldn’t leave. Instead of freaking out, I just nibbled my lip and breathed in his expensive smell, wondering if it was weird that I wanted to take a fucking nibble of the man. My magic crawled up his skin silently, his pupils dilated as he seemed to shake himself from something.

  “Commander Zed--” Griffin started as Zed snarled at them before looking back at me. You know, it was odd that I didn’t find these men threatening. I wasn’t scared of them. Not like I should be, considering their magic. Maybe it was because for so long my world had been dark and they were just so god damn vibrant and colorful.

  I wanted it.

 

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