I grinned, looking at the horse he’d been singing to, “Definitely that one.” Fred laughed at his brother’s expense, but I found myself relaxing just a bit. This wasn’t perfect, but for right now, I think this was what I needed.

  As Fred and I trailed back, we talked aimlessly and I found myself enjoying his company. He had explained a bit how he was hoping to eventually get a place of his own in the nearby town because his girlfriend was living there. Although, he was waiting to ask her to marry him because he was saving up for a ring. It was sweet and very human, distracting me from the incessant gnawing pain that grew the more time I spent from my mates.

  My magic was depressed as hell, and I didn’t bother using any because, while I assumed Alexa was aware of the supernatural world, I didn’t want to cause waves with the rest of her family. Mikey had taken the horse from me after helping me down, darting his eyes away while blushing, clearly not fully comfortable around me. I didn’t blame him…I’d been called intense before. I know, that was shocking, right?

  After saying goodbye to the boys, I walked up to the main house, finding that the late afternoon sun was warmer than I’d expected. I slipped upstairs and let out a yawn, wishing I could fall asleep…but why couldn’t I?

  I stilled, walking into my room and frowned, realizing that the room felt off. Looking around, I shook my head, believing I was being paranoid. I tugged off my jacket and boots, undressing until I had a bra and underwear on only. Crawling towards the bed and inhaling, noting it smelled familiar. Not familiar enough that it freaked me out, but it did settle something inside of me, making me sink into the bed fully. Instantly, my eyes closed and I fell asleep to the afternoon sun on my face.

  It wasn’t until hours later that I found it in me to open my eyes. Groaning quietly in the now dark of my room, I rolled myself up…and froze.

  “Holy shit.”

  In the corner of the room, in a large comfortable chair with a small lamp on, was fucking Valerio. What the hell? Clearly, I was terrible at hiding. Only I would literally leave a realm and still be found less than twenty-four hours later. I nearly rolled my eyes at myself while at the same time my heart sped up because seeing Valerio across the room from me? It created a storm-like symphony inside of me.

  “Sleep well?” he asked, his jaw clenched as he watched me with a predatory gaze. I wanted to be pissed, but instead, my body heated and I shifted, pulling the covers up slightly to avoid running over to him. My magic was thrilled despite how pissed he was.

  “What are you doing here?” I whispered, his eyes narrowed and he stood, his large frame at the side of the bed in a snap. My gaze ate up his purple hair and dark eyes, distracting me enough that I let out an actual squeak as Valerio gripped my jaw and continued to search my face.

  “You left,” he said mournfully and I winced at the hurt I saw there. “Why did you run?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I confessed, trying to preserve any pride I had left at this point, “I just needed out.”

  Valerio didn’t like that answer, clearly, and was over me as I laid pressed into the bed, oddly feeling not as ‘trapped’ as I would have assumed. I think that was because of him. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, not physically -- emotionally was another story. His grip on my jaw tightened as he spoke quietly. “You don’t get a fucking ‘out’ Maize. That isn’t how this works.”

  “Gray let me go. I am not in ‘containment’ anymore,” I breathed out quietly.

  His growl caught me off guard, “You fucking know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

  My jaw clenched, refusing to talk in coded language about this shit. “No I don’t, Valerio.”

  “So we aren’t your goddamn mates?” He arched a brow looking a bit smug as my eyes widened. Nevermind, I would like to go back to when we weren’t being blunt, please.

  “Did Maddox tell you?” I demanded.

  His eyes narrowed, “No, Maize. I didn’t need Maddox to tell me. You think this connection happens often? I’ve been alive for twenty-seven years and have never once felt like I did when I saw you. It doesn’t take a genius to put it together.”

  I swallowed, “It doesn’t really matter--”

  “Stop saying that,” he demanded sharply.

  “No,” I bit out, “I can say whatever the fuck--”

  I let out a surprised sound that turned into a moan as Valerio growled against my lips. His midnight rain taste and smell surrounded me. My walls collapsed in relief as his magic fucking swarmed me. I gave into it, hoping this was some elaborate dream. It didn’t stop me from delving my fingers into his thick hair as he groaned against me, my tongue running the seam of his lips and exploring his mouth. I hitched a leg around his hip as his hard length pressed against my center, making my clit pulse. Heady desire ran over me and I whimpered as his mouth worked its way down my neck and body.

  “Shit, you feel so good,” he snarled, his hand snapping the thin center of my bra, as I hissed his hot mouth closed around my hard nipple. I gripped the bedding as frustration welled up inside of me, my hips grinding against him on their own accord.

  “Valerio,” I moaned softly as he chuckled at my frustration. The man easily slipping off my lace underwear and tossing them to the side without thought. Honestly, this was a new side of him that I was loving. I was so engrossed in his touch that I was authentically confused when he brought my legs over his shoulders and trailed kisses down my stomach. I whimpered as his lips met my wet center. I cried out his name as he dipped his tongue into me and rubbed a thumb over my clit. My legs closed slightly as I arched back, and he pressed down on my thighs.

  “Do not close your legs to me,” he demanded with a thread of anger, I nodded as his tongue moved into and out of me and he began to devour me like I was his last fucking meal. My legs fell open as his hands tightened on my hips, probably leaving fingerprints from his grip. I felt my eyes flutter shut as he slid a finger inside of me making my thighs shake. Finally, I gave in and let them fall open completely. I let out a cry as my climax built, tugging on his hair had his movements quickening and more intense. Holy shit, this man was far too good with his tongue.

  “Fuck!” I cried out as a climax, far stronger than yesterday, and fucking mind-blowing blasted me to the point that my eyes actually rolled back slightly as the room spotted black in relief. My clit pulsed in the after wave of breaking as he lapped up my release, taking his time as if that was all he wanted to do today was be in between my legs. It was hot. I was a huge fan. He could spend all goddamn day there if he wanted…

  Kissing up my body, the man caged me. Dipping his lips at my throat as he sucked hard, making me wince before he nipped my bottom lip in what felt like punishment. When he looked down at me it was with lust and a lot of searing heat.

  “You are coming back to the fucking Horde, baby.”

  That was when reality hit me square in the face.

  Shit.

  I couldn’t go back. Nothing had changed. I was still me.

  “Stop,” he snapped, “Whatever you are thinking, you’re wrong.”

  I put a hand on his chest, pushing, but he just grabbed my wrists and pulled them above my body, searching my expression with determination. I spoke softly but with truth, “Valerio, you have no idea what you’re talking about. Being around all of you is putting you, my damn mates, at risk. I’m a monster.”

  “What the hell are you afraid of?” he pressed, and I realized I was going to have to show him. I hated that. I hated that I would lose him.

  “I’ll show you,” I relaxed my walls as his magic flooded in, and with resignation, I let the memories flow. Everything from when I’d first had sex and first killed a man, to my countless night terrors. What was I afraid of? How about -- what wasn’t I afraid of?

  I was afraid of never being able to love someone properly or be loved. I was afraid of ruining the lives of those I loved. I was afraid of giving my heart to someone and having them reject me. I was fucking afraid of being afraid, and I was losing myself in it.

  “Maize,” Valerio demanded, shaking me as my eyes flew open and I could feel the wet tears on my face as I stared up at him, the horror etched into his face from the memories of my own father abusing me, to guards kicking me around. But I knew it was more than that. Now he knew. He knew I could kill him.

  “See?” I whispered. “Do you understand?”

  “I understand that you will never go through something like that again,” his voice was soft and deadly. Alright, I think I liked angry and swearing. “I understand that you're scared but that doesn’t mean self-isolation is the key, Maize.”

  “I killed someone, not some asshole either - someone that I was sleeping with. The first and only person I’ve slept with died underneath me. I’m a fucking monster.”

  His lips seared to mine as he gripped my face with both hands, forcing me to focus solely on him. “You are not a monster, Maize. I know monsters, and you are not one of them, baby. You’ve just had a really shitty hand dealt to you, but you don’t have to live like that.”

  “And if I kill one of you?” I demanded.

  “You won’t,” Valerio vowed. “If your magic lashes out we will just deal with the consequences of removing the poison.”

  I stared at him in shock as I just shook my head, mumbling under my breath and feeling really out of it. “I don’t know what to say to you.”

  “Don’t say anything except yes,” he said softly, his eyes lightning to purple. “Come back home. Give this a chance, and don’t be a coward, Maize. It’s easy to keep running and way fucking harder to stick around.”

  I scowled at the word ‘coward’ despite him being right. I inhaled and looked up, feeling oddly at peace with all of this. He wasn’t giving me a choice, and in some ways, I needed that. I needed him to tell me to stay around, to force me to deal with the truth. Only you would run away for one day. Or I had wanted them to come for me, which brought me to...

  “I didn’t even know you liked me,” I mumbled.

  Valerio chuckled softly, his smile wicked, and I realized why he was usually stoic…his smile was legitimately a weapon. The man was beautiful, but when he smiled? Holy shit. I stared at him a bit stunned, feeling as though I hadn’t seen him clearly until this moment. My pulse went wild as I swallowed, trying to focus back on him.

  “Like you?” Valerio asked softly, his eyes darkening. “I don’t think that’s intense enough for how I feel, but if you want to label it that way, feel free.”

  I clenched my jaw. “You confuse me.”

  “I confuse you?” He arched a brow, “Maize you’re the hardest person I know to read. When you don’t want someone in your head, it’s like hitting into a 100-foot thick block of ice.”

  “Has to be that way sometimes,” I whispered.

  His eyes melted as he lifted one of my hands and kissed my wrist gently. Before I could comment, the man was pulling the covers over us and wrapping his arms around me. I shivered in relief, “I’m scared to sleep next to someone. I usually have terrible night terrors.”

  “I know,” he mumbled, kissing my temple. “You won’t hurt me, Maize. You need to trust that we can take care of ourselves.”

  “I trust you,” I stated softly, and I realized it was true. I did trust Valerio, even if it was new. Whatever the hell this was. My eyes closed, forgetting to even ask where the others were.

  Chapter 16

  Valerio

  Well, this hadn’t gone anything like I’d assumed.

  Although to be fair, I hadn’t been positive about what I’d expected. To have to drag her back over my shoulder? Possibly. To have to resist the urge to spank her ass cherry red for thinking she could leave us? Absolutely. I shook my head looking down at her small sleeping form. I had contacted the other men and they were portaling here since we could all portal within realms just not across them. I needed to get my fucking head on straight before they arrived because my not so secret fixation on this woman wasn’t very hide-able anymore.

  Although I’d managed for three days.

  Something about her at a pub with other men, and thinking about how we really had no claim to her, made me snap. I felt pissed and overwhelmed, enough so that I hadn’t put a lot of thought into my action until she was over my shoulder. Then I realized she could have killed me, and that turned me on which shows there is clearly something wrong with me. Right? Although none of that was compared to the feeling of realizing she had just upped and left.

  The first feeling that had gone through me hadn’t been anger.

  I’d felt instead like I’d been punched in the gut. The idea of never seeing her face again or the tiny smile she offered when she found something funny, but wasn’t trying to, devastated me. I couldn’t help but respect her strength, but I also had the urge to wrap her up and shield her from any of the shit she's gone through… Fears and nightmares that I was now queued into. I knew I shouldn’t have seen them, because the raging fury under my skin had no outlet. No one to kill because the bastard was dead.

  I hadn’t been surprised that she had recognized us as mates, and I didn’t mind sharing her with the others…I had expected that in our future. What I did mind? The distance she kept trying to keep. I knew she felt like she was a monster, and I felt like it was my job to prove her wrong. Despite trying to hide it, I saw the good in Maize.

  I saw the loyalty she had. I saw the way she tried to keep her problems from others, not wanting to affect their lives. I saw the way she watched families and the way they interacted with one another, wanting the simplest fucking thing in the world. To be cared about. Yeah, Charm had told me that one. This was why I hadn’t hesitated for a moment to go after her because I knew it would prove that I more than wanted her around. I wanted her to look at me the way she looked at Chait and Maddox. Yeah, I had known they were hanging out with someone at the castle, and I was fucking wishing I’d pressed who it had been. Then I could have had this entire past year learning about her.

  I grunted, knowing I had made a terrible first impression but my reaction had been intense and automatic. I’d tried to push myself into her mind, and she had kept me out, making me want her even more. I put my head back and ran my tongue over my lip still tasting her and my hard cock twitched, no doubt pissed that I wasn’t inside her. Especially my magic. My magic was livid that we weren’t fucking her for the rest of the night, but rationally I knew it wasn’t the time, and the others would be here soon. Didn’t stop me from looking over her hot lean form, pressed against me in just lace. My hand trailed gently on her scars that lined her back like three dark lines, and she shivered in her sleep, her soft pink lips tightening. My hands couldn’t help but run over the skin of her waist, loving how soft she felt under my fingers. Like goddamn silk. I buried my nose in her hair as she sighed in her sleep, a small smile forming on her lips. I wanted to see her smile and laugh more. The way her eyes had lit upon seeing my smile made me realize that maybe I needed to as well.

  Maize whimpered as I pulled her up slightly so that her head was on my chest and I was holding her tightly, my eyes scanning the window, waiting to feel the magic of my team enter the estate. Hopefully, they wouldn’t scare the humans. Actually, they could go kill the two young guys. I didn’t like how they were looking at Maize at all. Especially the younger one.

  When a pulse of power popped into the air, I looked up to find both Maddox and Chait there. Chait’s eyes instantly focused on her, and he breathed out a sigh of relief, moving onto the bed while wrapping an arm around her, not giving a shit how close that put us. Then again, on missions, we’d been in a whole lot of more uncomfortable positions.

  Maddox narrowed his eyes, “Why the hell are you in bed with her?”

  I arched a brow as he snapped his eyes away, not pushing it. He wasn’t dumb, and he knew I wasn’t going to put up with this new snappy bullshit. Maddox was usually more collected and really, I got the change because it was Maize, but still. I wasn’t fucking dealing with it. Maize was an adult, and anything that did happen between us was between us. Well unless she wanted more than one of us at a time…

  “Really? North fucking Dakota?” Charm demanded, popping in right as Cannon did. Instantly the latter was leaning over us, looking over Maize with concern. The man was always worried about everyone on our team. It probably came from having to raise his little brother himself. I also had a feeling that her leaving was going to fuck with him more than he cared to admit because of his mom. I hoped that wouldn’t be the case and that he could see the large difference between why Maize left and how this was far different than when his mother left his brother and him, but abandonment issues were called that for a reason.

  Charm leaned against the wall and didn’t say anything, his eyes on her with a small scowl. He had somehow worked it in his head to be mad at her for leaving. I could just tell the two of them were going to be a mess. I also knew they were going to fuck and probably really soon. I closed my eyes thoughtfully remembering her memory.

  I knew there was a good chance that she could almost kill one of us if her control slipped, but I also was okay with the consequences of her pulling the poison out of me. I hoped the others felt similar. My magic had already silently wrapped around her, branded her, both of her familiars entertaining the notion completely. She probably didn’t even realize how intertwined the two of us were, and I hadn’t given her an option to know. It was magic after all, who was I to stop it?

  Philip was there then, his hair messy and eyes red slightly from a lack of sleep. He seemed to relax slightly on seeing her. I felt bad for the man because Philip, despite his reputation, wore his feelings on his sleeve, and I think Maize may have hurt him a bit when she kept him from her room. Not that I blamed her since she didn’t know any of us, but it didn’t make it not true. I don’t think it helped his obsession with her, but I could see how cautious he was around her. In some ways, the two of them were far more similar than one would assume.

 

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