“Why the hell haven’t these healed?” he scowled, his voice running over my skin. I growled as his rough hand grazed my back, and I turned sharply looking up at him.

  “Do not fucking touch me. How much clearer do I have to make that to you people?” I demanded, swallowing as my body trembled, unfortunately with a mix of anger and need. His warm sweet scent surrounded me, and I felt my center clench as I began to grow way wetter than should be allowed with Charm. Was it wrong that I also loved that he didn’t back down? I mean, I was pissed but at the same time…a backbone was appreciated.

  “Why didn’t it heal? Iron heals over time, even for pure fae,” he asked again, persistent as ever, his eyes running over my face and then my gaze. Oddly not making comments on how flushed I looked.

  Inhaling, I looked down and spoke quietly, wondering if this would get him to leave. “My father used to drain my magic. Then he would lock me up. My body was so busy trying to keep up with replenishing that my body suffered. They were far worse, but for whatever reason, they never went away.”

  Charm made a soft dark sound, and I put my hands on my hips looking up at him again. I was thrilled to see no pity there, but it didn’t change anything. “Any other questions, Charm?”

  “Fucking thousands,” he muttered, and I swallowed, feeling a bit too vulnerable.

  “Can you go? I need today to be okay.” I whispered, feeling like a little bitch.

  His jaw clenched as he searched my face. “Tomorrow then.”

  I nibbled my bottom lip, “Maybe, Charm.” If I was still here.

  Without another word, he shook his head and left the room, leaving me standing in what I realized was just my bra on top. I tugged on a shirt and looked outside at the frigid weather. What the hell was I supposed to do with my time here? Maybe training would have been smart…but train for what? I groaned, shaking my head, feeling absolutely aimless. You would think that I would have gotten used to the feeling, but when I was imprisoned, I was scared for my life. When I wasn’t, I was thinking about my future or lack thereof. I had tried to escape whenever they moved me or let me shower. It usually resulted in a beating or magic drain, finally, they had started to keep me chained when I used the washroom or stood underneath a drain of cold rainwater for bathing.

  So yeah. Aimless was not how I would have described that.

  Looking towards the door of the lounge room, I chewed on my lip before I tugged it open and walked aimlessly towards the room. A nervous thrill went through me, wondering if any of the guys would be in there. I sighed in both relief and disappointment to find it empty, so I wandered towards the bookcase, settling on a large history book. I grunted as I heaved it onto my chest, yes, it was that large and heavy, before placing it on a large wooden table near a sofa and roaring fire. Curling my feet underneath my legs I peeled open the leather binding.

  I knew the basics about the Horde and the recent wars and histories, but I’d always admired the country from afar. While the Dark Fae had talked in scorn about it, I’d found the unique and somewhat rebellious and diverse kingdom quite colorful. I knew why the Light and Dark Fae kingdoms weren’t a huge fan of the Horde, and that was because all their illegitimate children were dropped there. Well, unless they were pure fae, then usually someone took them in because they were deemed worthy of keeping. I shook my head, absolutely hating that.

  As I began reading the shorter but decadent history of the Horde, I realized where the animosity came from, besides the obvious. It seemed it also stemmed from the history associated with the Horde and their departure. The royal line, including Queen Gray and her brother, had once been part of the Fae realm as a whole that had only been split into Light and Dark Fae Kingdoms. Anything or any other creature not from a ‘pure’ marriage had been considered a second class citizen. I frowned scanning over the list of the offspring from any union of fae with demon, shifter, or human. While those possible unions hadn’t been at the front of my mind growing up, I didn’t understand the problem with it. You can’t control who you love or are attracted to, right?

  I nearly rolled my eyes at myself. Take your own advice, Maize.

  Continuing to scan through pages, I read about two of the royal line's ancestors that chose to break away initially and rebel against the idea of this bias and racism. My eyebrows rose, looking over the stunning picture of a man and woman, their wings extended and faces fierce but happy. Dark and Light Fae. Not royalty but two pure fae citizens that decided to create their own kingdom.

  Of course, it hadn’t happened overnight, but when all of the second class citizens left the Light and Dark Fae they lost most of their servants and slaves, breeding animosity. The pioneers of the Horde began crafting a massive kingdom, attempting to put up wards, while fending off attacks from my own previous relatives. I scowled reading about a King Lucias that I knew to be one of my far-reaching relatives on my father's side of course. I shook my head and turned the page.

  As the Horde formed, growing to a large size, ancestry, and keeping track of that type of thing began to become less important. Instead they created their own way of ordering their communities, creating communities that surrounded the massive castle that rose up from nothing.

  While the gates of the Horde were now open to everyone, half-fae or not, under Gray -- it hadn’t been only a year ago. The rule had become that you had to be half-fae, placing yourself in the three separate communities that existed within the horde: demonic, shifter, and mage. Of course, as with most rebellious societies, they fell into their own trap. Soon internal bias grew and I knew personally, hearing Gray and her sister talk about it often, that to this day there was bias against mages that had been created rather than born that way. I inhaled, shaking my head glad that Gray, a true heir, was now ruling with a strong, but fair hand.

  Plus, now the Horde has lost their larger enemy - The Dark Fae. Well, except me, of course. I swallowed running a hand through my hair and skimmed through each section of the different types of mages, shifters, and even demons -- the information overwhelming but well presented. Damn, whoever put this damn book together was smart as hell.

  I was so engrossed in my reading that when someone sat down next to me, I jumped, looking at Maddox in alarm as he flashed me a rogue smile.

  “Teacup,” He popped the ‘p’ and rolled his head on the back of the couch staring at me.

  “Hey you,” I whispered softly, closing the book and sitting back. “Sleep in?”

  His laughter was soft, “I actually came to get you for dinner, I had a few classes to teach today, but most everyone went into town. They had to meet with some SE commanders.”

  Oh.

  I nodded. “Alright, so they won’t be at dinner?”

  He offered me a knowing smile. “Unfortunately, they are back.”

  Putting my head down and exhaling, I muttered a curse then spoke honestly, meeting his gaze, “I feel stupid about yesterday. I don’t usually have people around when--”

  “You zone out?” he whispered, leaning forward and grasping my waist gently, pulling me up and against him. I melted against his familiar frame, lopping my arms around his neck as my wings twitched against my skin nervously.

  “Sometimes the memories are a lot,” I swallowed, trying to express how exactly I felt, “the day after that girl came, the one Vegas and Gray know, I think her name is Nova? Anyway, when she showed up and asked me about Mario using magic drainage powers, I was in bed for nearly--”

  “A week,” he offered seriously, and I blushed, realizing that he had noticed. Of course, he had. Also, I sort of loved him finishing my sentences despite wanting to find it annoying.

  “I just need to figure out something to do with myself, at least with the SE I was busy training,” I whispered.

  “You could teach here at the academy,” he suggested.

  I arched my brows. “Teach what?”

  “Dark Fae history or just a course on pure fae,” Maddox explained, running a hand along my throat as I shivered, and my toes curled.

  His eyes lit up as he tightened his other hand on my waist and pulled me forward and against him further. My voice was shaky as I spoke, “I am not sure it would be very helpful if all my students hate me.”

  He frowned, running a thumb against my bottom lip. “Who said they hate you?”

  I almost told him about the student that had all but threatened me, but then I whimpered as he leaned forward brushing his lips against mine. My eyes fluttered at the soft touch, and for just a moment, I savored the warm soft feeling of affection.

  Then my magic had to freak the fuck out.

  Without even thinking about it, I moved forward, searing my lips to his as he groaned, meeting my kiss deeply. My hand gripped his red hair as he invaded my mouth with his tongue and I felt a wave of dizziness go over me. My heart turned into a fucking hummingbird. My back twitched, my wings wanting to come out. I continued to kiss him, losing myself in it, and I didn’t realize just how screwed I was until he started to run his hand up my waist underneath my shirt as my nipples tightened. I was so ridiculously wet, and everything felt almost static in my ears. Everything focused on him as I felt his magic invade my head and I lost myself. Just for a second.

  A second was long enough that my wings broke out, and fear pulsed through me. I literally flew back and as far away from him as I could make it. I scrambled back, my breathing rough as I looked to Maddox, who was unharmed. Well, he looked hard enough that it was probably harmful. His eyes were hooded, pupils expanded, his breathing rough as he stared at me with an intensity that I wouldn’t have expected from the man. I shivered and brought in my wings, not knowing what to say.

  I could have killed him. My body trembled. Thoughts of the pale blue face of the first person I fucked underneath me. Cold. Dead. I didn’t realize I was walking out of the room until Maddox was calling after me. I was gone though, moving towards my room and pulling on boots and a sweater.

  “Teacup,” Maddox cautioned.

  “I just need some air,” I muttered, feeling my anxiety hitting hard. Not again. I was not doing this again.

  “Maize,” he growled.

  I ducked underneath him and took the corridor through the main room that would lead me towards the dining hall. Maddox was behind me, but luckily didn’t try to talk to me or tug me back. Good thing too, because hell, I had no idea what I would say.

  We kissed.

  Holy shit. I kissed Maddox. And liked it.

  I could have hurt him. Or screwed up our friendship. I may have done the latter.

  I turned on him and looked up at his cautious lime green eyes, the man searching my expression. I looked down at his neck, seeing his pulse was elevated, and my eyes ran over the scar that ran side to side like someone had tried to cut off his head. I’d wanted to touch it forever. He hadn’t told me where it had come from, but I could only imagine it had been fucking brutal.

  “Maize,” he whispered, cupping my jaw as I inhaled sharply.

  “Yeah?”

  “You didn’t hurt me, and you didn’t almost hurt me,” he said darkly. “We need to talk about what happened that made you feel that way--”

  My eyebrows went up as panic hit hard. “No.”

  “No?”

  “We won’t talk about that,” I murmured and turned again, breaking away from him.

  How the hell would that go? So I’m super into you, but I killed the last guy I fucked, but want to roll the dice and see what happens?

  “Fucking shit, Maize.” His voice sounded surprised and upset. I turned back, his eyes widening in realization.

  “You did not just fucking read my mind,” I snarled defensively.

  He put his hands out in a peaceful gesture, “I didn’t do it on purpose, but we are a tad more connected than before… it’s been like that the past few days.”

  I felt my jaw tighten as anger hit me, “Stay out of my head, Maddox.” I needed to cut off this connection and fast before he realized the truth about our relationship.

  His head tilted as he moved closer, “What you were thinking about, I mean, is that what happened?”

  Further away now, not willing to turn back, despite his call and the tears threatening in my eyes. I slipped through the back doors ignoring the dining hall. When the cold air hit my face, I felt a tear trail down my face as memories rolled over me like a dangerous wave.

  Horror hit me hard as I stared at the man underneath me. Underneath my naked body. Spit fell from his mouth as his eyes rolled back, his heart stilling. In moments, he had been dead.

  I pushed myself further into the path that went towards the large dark forest right ahead of me. I passed the team homes of the Red Masques, making my way through the thick trees as the stone paved path shrunk to a dirt pathway, worn from years of travel.

  My nose burned in the cold, but it kept the tears at bay not able to stand the thought of turning back even if it meant warmth. I had no idea how long I walked, but eventually, I broke through the trees.

  My eyes widened as I realized I’d followed a path that looped essentially in a U and I came out on the side of town. I stared at the warm lights of houses, bars, and pubs, wishing I could go into one. The one time I had, they wouldn’t serve me, so there was no point in even trying. Instead, I sat down against one of the trees and put my hands in the large pockets of the sweater I wore. My hand stilled realizing that there was a lighter and cigarette from last time I had gone out in this same sweater. I pulled it out and lit it, the small glow warming my hand a bit.

  My head tilted back as I stared at the night sky that was so much clearer than I had seen through the cell windows where rain and heat made them almost untouchable. My eyes closed as I inhaled, knowing that my time here would have to end soon. I had too many secrets. Too much pain.

  So why was I putting it off?

  Chapter 10

  Maddox

  Fucking hell.

  I strolled into the dining hall, not bothering to do more than a glance realizing she wasn’t fucking in there. I ignored my brother's odd looks and turned back, my eyes narrowing on the front door of the academy and the hallways towards the back. Shaking my head, I figured I would start with the front, our connection had faded as she ran the hell away from me. Why? I had no clue. She knew I had killed before, I understood the implications of killing someone you are not only intimate with but who was also innocent of any crimes, but it clearly hadn’t been her fault. No one does something purposefully and feels that level of guilt. I would know. I killed very purposefully.

  A spark of energy that I only felt for Maize had me searching the front yard of the academy for any sign of her. I growled under my breath and went back inside, strolling towards the other exit praying to the maker I would find her. Maize was flighty as hell, and I didn’t blame her but shit it was scary. I shook my head thinking about the times on end that I had sat outside her room in Gray’s castle, at night without her knowing, just to ease my mind that she wasn’t leaving. Wasn’t going anywhere.

  I blinked, seeing her frame moving at the start of the forest path, I held back slightly, following at a slower pace. I didn’t want her pushing further away but I also needed to keep eyes on her. Make sure she was okay. I didn’t call her Teacup for no reason. She seemed so god damn delicate to me that I was afraid if I held her too hard she would shatter and I didn’t mean physically, although she was tiny and needed to eat way more than she did -- that was a separate issue for a different time.

  Honestly, Chait was far more patient and better at keeping that distance and patience; it was why he spent more time around her. I tried to, but it ended how it did moments ago, with me pushing the line. Hell, it had been like that from the start. I ran a finger over my lips, thinking about her cool sweet taste. My cock hardened at the thought of her curves against my hands--fucking shit. I could still remember the first time I’d seen the woman and the fucking cardiac arrest she nearly had given me.

  “That was exhausting,” Chait mumbled as we left a joint meeting with some of the SE commanders. Usually, our entire team would go or most of us, but a lot of them were teaching. Which left us stuck with this bullshit. And it had been bullshit. Thank god it was over.

  “They are so fucking stubborn,” I accused quietly as we walked out of the tower and onto a massive long bridge that was open-air, the January chilled temperatures reflective of my mood. I stared down the nearly ten stories to the training yard as we continued our path.

  Chait whistled and muttered a curse as I looked up, freezing in my step forward.

  Well, I was clearly imagining shit again or hallucinating, not completely surprising, but shit. My eyes tracked against the grey stormy sky, a head of black hair, pulled up into a long ponytail, moving in the wind against a leather-clad body. I watched as the woman walked along a higher part of the roof, on a very thin edge, her thoughts seemingly elsewhere.

  What if she fell?

  I felt my pulse rise and I realized I was worried about her. I was…and let me repeat this; never worried, ever, about anyone besides my brothers. Even that was seldom.

  Chait was frozen and winced as she turned right before hitting the edge that overhung the training yards. I didn’t want to scare her, but I also wanted her to get the hell down. I mean, she could maybe survive the fall. Or she would die.

  “What the hell are you doing up there?” I called, my voice gruff. The woman froze and snapped her head towards us as silver blue-ish eyes met mine curiously, and Chait put his head down momentarily looking fairly freaked out and trying to hide it. I understood that pretty fucking well.

  “Walking?” She arched a brow.

  “You're going to fall, get down,” I demanded as she offered a smile.

  Then I got what I asked for, the woman stepped forward and I cursed as she fell. I was to the edge when I came face to face with her floating…wings extended. My jaw clicked as she let out a soft laugh and jumped over the railing of the bridge and sat on it, looking pleased.

 

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