The rough ride, p.3
The Rough Ride, page 3
Luckily, Gus didn’t care. Because he might be willing to marry Alaina, but he didn’t have any feelings for her.
Angus McCloud didn’t have feelings at all.
CHAPTER TWO
THIS WAS INSANE, and so was Gus. But she didn’t know what else to do.
You’re actually going to marry Gus McCloud...
She hated all her other options. She was afraid of doing this on her own. Afraid of everyone’s reactions. Yes, her sisters would help her, but things were challenging enough as it was. And it might be the modern era, but people were still judgmental as hell. Not even Sawyer and Wolf had let their babies be born into a situation where they’d remained unmarried. And they were men. And the thing was, Alaina had spent so many years telling herself that she didn’t care what anybody thought. Telling herself that she didn’t need to sit in bad feelings. That she could change things. For the better. That all it took was determination and a strong will, and everything would be okay. But nothing about this had gotten better. Not for any of the amount of time she’d let it sit. It just hadn’t gotten better.
She had hoped that it would. She had hoped that something would change. That something would come to her. Some new idea of how to spin this. Maybe part of her had even hoped Travis would come back. Not because she loved him but because...it just seemed like it would make things easier. At least then her baby would have a father.
At least then she wouldn’t have to admit that she’d gotten pregnant having sex one miserable time with a guy she wasn’t in a relationship with.
And what were they going to do? What were they going to tell everybody? Most of all, who would believe it?
“You’re not seriously going to announce this right now,” she said.
“Yeah,” he said, looking at her with deadly serious eyes. “Everyone’s here. And it seems to me like it’s got to happen sooner rather than later.”
They stepped back into the crowd, and Fia went to them immediately.
“I cannot believe this.” Fia looked between Gus and Alaina. “In fact, I don’t believe it. What’s going on?”
“What’s going on,” Gus said to her sister, “is that I’m marrying her. That’s it.”
“But are you...?”
“Do you think that’s any of your business?” he asked.
“Yes, Angus,” Fia said. “I do in fact think it’s my business. She is my youngest sister, and I think you owe me an explanation. We have known each other since we were in diapers. And you can’t just randomly...”
“There’s nothing random about it,” Gus said. “If she needs something, I’m there for her. That’s how it’s always been. That’s how it always will be. So chill out, Fia, and let me handle this.”
“Alaina?” Fia said.
“It’s the right thing to do,” Alaina said.
And Gus took her hand, and started to lead her up toward the position at the bonfire where Sawyer had just stood. His hands were rough, different than Travis’s. Travis was a ranch hand, but Gus was shaped on the ranch, like iron forged in fire. He had been working since he learned to walk. Everything about him was...rough.
“Hey,” Gus said. “Alaina Sullivan and I have a little announcement of our own. We’ll be having a wedding here at the ranch right quick. So buy us a toaster or some shit.”
There was a ripple through the entire crowd of people. And Gus began to lead her away from the bonfire.
Until Hunter stopped them.
“I’m sorry,” he held his hand up like he was calling a time-out, “you don’t get to do that and then give no explanation,” Hunter said.
“I do,” Gus said. “Because I don’t owe anyone an explanation.”
“Gus...”
“If you have something to say to me, Hunter, we can do it back at the homestead. You know where I live. So why don’t we deal with our stuff in private. That’s the relevant information that everybody at the ranch needed to know, because I expect them all to be there. Throwing rice or whatever the hell.”
There was a smattering of very uncomfortable applause, and they were predictably rushed by her sisters. Fia, Quinn and Rory. Quinn and Rory looked... Well, they looked outraged.
“What in the world?” Quinn asked.
“I... Aren’t you going to congratulate me?”
“I might congratulate you if this didn’t seem so desperately random.”
“How was it random?” Gus asked, slinging his arm around her like it was the most natural thing in the entire world. “People at the ranch hook up these days, right? It’s what they do. Look at Hunter and Elsie. How is this different?”
“You’re...older,” Rory said.
“And...you,” Fia added.
“I’m pregnant,” said Alaina.
The explosion of curse words from Quinn was epic and Rory was looking back and forth between herself and Gus, obviously trying to decide if this was a surprise, romantic triumph, or if she was going to pick up her steak knife and launch into a rage like Quinn.
“How?” Rory asked.
“Oh, for God’s sake, Rory,” Quinn said.
“I know how but...how?”
Alaina wished she had a good story to tell but she felt skinned and rolled in salt. Stinging, exposed and all things she hated, and it was Gus. Gus, who had always been there for her in his way but they would never...
“All you need to know,” said Gus, “is that I care about your sister. And I would never hurt her. Do you believe that?”
Fia eyed him hard. “I do.”
“We need to talk by ourselves,” Quinn said.
“If you want to accuse me of murder, Quinn,” Gus said, “why don’t you do it in front of me? I’m not afraid.”
“Well, maybe I am,” Quinn said.
“For the record, I didn’t kill my father.” Alaina had never heard Gus outright deny it before. “It suits me to let that rumor go around. Maybe because I like a little fantasy. And hell, that’s a pretty compelling one, I have to admit. There was no love lost between me and the old man. But no. I didn’t kill him. I just made sure he would never come back. I made sure he signed the ranch over to me and my brothers so that we never had to see him ever again. And I made sure he knew that if his trifling ass ever wandered back on Four Corners, I’d finish what I started. Because when I handle something, I handle it.”
Those words sent a shiver down Alaina’s spine. He was handling her, wasn’t he?
And suddenly, she was brimming with questions. She had agreed to this, and now it was a public announcement. News of her pregnancy was bound to get around and quickly. So she should be thankful, but she found herself wanting details.
“We need to talk,” Alaina said to Gus.
“I expect so.”
“Not tonight,” Rory said, grabbing hold of her arm, and Alaina felt like a rag doll, being pulled between things.
“Out of respect, sure,” he said. “Alaina. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay. You come out to McCloud’s Landing nice and early. I’ll have some coffee for you.”
“I’m not sure if I’m supposed to drink coffee,” she said.
“Have you been drinking it anyway?”
She squirmed. “Well. Yeah.”
“Then I’ll be there with coffee on.”
And he tipped his hat and walked away from the circle of Sullivans.
“Back to the house,” Fia ordered.
And that was how Alaina found herself bundled up into a truck, driven back to the house and marched inside like she was a prisoner of war. The little eclectic farmhouse was always going to be the place that Alaina loved most. They had built the most beautiful life here, she and her sisters, after their parents had left them on their own.
Their dad had gone off to start a new life because their life here wasn’t enough.
Their mom had gone six years later because she’d never been able to accept this place without him.
Fia, Rory, Quinn and Alaina had stayed.
This was Sullivan’s Point. It belonged to the Sullivan family. It had been her father’s responsibility. The responsibility of those that carried the Sullivan name, and Sullivan blood.
Their mother was gone, and yes, it stung a little. But they were adults and she’d at least raised them all before she’d gone. She didn’t have Sullivan blood; the land wasn’t hers.
But their dad...he had a responsibility to this place. To the land. And he had simply left it. Like it didn’t matter. Like it didn’t mean anything.
When their dad had left, the house had gone gray. Their mother had been like a ghost. Fia had held things together, but the sadness had been inescapable.
When their mom left, the first thing Fia had done was take the antique table that had sat in the dining room forever, and put it right out in the yard. She had sanded it, and then she had painted it a bright blue. That had begun the process of adding color to everything in the place. Now Alaina could hardly remember it not being this way.
When it had all been wood and white paint.
Now it was red, yellow, tangerine. Spots of magenta, teal. They ate every meal on an eclectic set of china, mismatched teacups, carnival glass tumblers. They had decided that if they were left to their own devices, they would do it in style. And they had done so. And they had made... They had made a life. They had managed by hiring good ranch hands that they could trust, by working toward opening a farm store on the property that would be like a continuous farmers market.
They made pie and jam, they made cakes and they gardened. And while Alaina preferred working with horses to that, she loved what they did because it was part of them.
Because it was part of what they had done to survive.
It wasn’t her, though.
Fia had done everything she could to unite them, to bring them together.
But the longer it all went on, Alaina felt lost in it. Fia had been part of making Four Corners. And then she’d done something with Sullivan’s Point. She’d done it for them, and Alaina loved her for that.
But she wanted to know where she fit in this world. In this life.
It hit her right then that if she was going to marry Gus...
Well, her place would be his.
Her place would be Gus McCloud’s.
She was torn by that realization. Because it still wasn’t hers. But it was...a chance to be somewhere different. Do something different.
You’re really going to marry him?
Marrying Gus. Marrying Gus.
It was insane. But was it any more insane than the situation she found herself in?
“Now can you please explain what’s going on?”
“I’m marrying Gus,” she said. “He...he made that perfectly clear.”
“Yes,” Fia said. “He did.” Fia looked for a moment like she might implode, then she turned and gripped Alaina by the shoulders. “I need you to look at me and tell me that Gus McCloud did not take advantage of you.”
“No,” Alaina said, horrified, tugging away from Fia. “Look, first of all, I’m an adult. I’m allowed to have sex.” She sounded more defiant about that than she felt. “Second of all, no he did not. Gus is a good guy. And I don’t care what kind of rumors go around about him, he’s never hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it. He’s only ever been kind to me.”
There was a slight pause and then Rory fixed her with an extremely piercing stare. “It’s not his baby, is it?” she asked.
“Rory... I...”
“We don’t care,” Quinn said. “No one is judging you.”
Quinn’s lofty tone annoyed Alaina a little. Quinn was the only one of the four sisters that had gone to college and sometimes her know-it-all streak got a bit irritating.
“Yes, you are,” Alaina said. “You’re judging me about Gus.”
“It depends on the circumstances,” Quinn said. “Because I know you, Alaina, and you’re tough and you’re...impulsive. And I have to say, I’m a little worried Gus took advantage of the impulsivity.”
The very thought of that made Alaina feel like she wasn’t quite in her body. But she hadn’t felt in her body for at least a month now.
But she knew one thing: she couldn’t let her sisters think that about Gus. Not when he was helping, and not when all the decisions that had taken her here were...hers. She couldn’t blame anyone else.
Well, Travis was an ass. But it was better this way. The idea of being stuck with him forever because of fifteen minutes that hadn’t even felt like much of anything wouldn’t have been fair.
So she was happy to take the consequences on herself if it meant not dealing with him.
And she wouldn’t pass any blame to Gus.
“No, it’s not Gus’s baby. Please don’t tell anyone. Please... He knew I was in trouble. He offered to help.”
She could sense a ripple of disappointment in her sisters. Wow. This was why she was keeping it secret. This was why Gus was helping her.
“You’re all judging me,” she said.
“No!” Quinn and Fia shouted.
Rory, for her part, was silent.
Quinn punched Rory in the arm. Rory looked at Quinn. “What? I was thinking about if I was being judgmental. At least I’m honest.”
“We’ll help,” Quinn said. “This ranch is full of broken families. Who’s going to...”
But for her it mattered. For her it would be unbearable. For her it would mean being that object of pity all over again, that girl she’d been whose dad had left and...
No. She couldn’t deal with that.
“That’s just it. I don’t want that. I don’t want that for my baby. I never wanted this at all. I was trying to do better than our parents. I was trying to do better than all the broken-ass shit around this place. And look at what I did. I went and got myself in trouble. I did exactly what I said I was too smart to do. And Elsie warned me. She said to be careful. And I kept telling her I knew what I was doing. I kept insisting that I did.”
“Who was it?” Quinn asked.
“Doesn’t matter,” Alaina said. “Really. He doesn’t matter. He isn’t worth a damn. He doesn’t want anything to do with me. And he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby. And he isn’t here anymore. And Gus... Gus was there for me. He’s been there for me.”
“So you’re just going to marry him,” Rory said.
“Yes. I’m going to let everybody think it’s his baby. Because he wants that. But I can’t lie to you. You’re my sisters.”
“Who are you going to lie to?” Rory asked.
She had to consider that. Really carefully.
“Not Elsie,” she said.
She didn’t have it in her to be irritated with her friend at all now. Not when things felt so real.
That was it. Tonight she had to face the fact that this was happening. That it was real, and the baby was coming whether she was prepared for it or not. She made the decision to keep it, and now she had to face what that meant. But when push came to shove she’d realized that she didn’t want to do it alone.
“The broader ranch community does not need to know. I have a feeling it’s going to be unavoidable that the Garretts know. And the McClouds obviously. And us.”
“So basically, we’re just keeping the secret from the Kings,” Fia said.
“That should suit you,” Alaina said.
“Alaina,” Rory asked, suddenly looking grave. “It must be asked, because we are descended of great female warriors and witches, priestesses. Do we need to find the man responsible for this and cut his nuts off?”
Alaina laughed. Not so much because she thought it was funny. It was just... She should have known this was the kind of support she would receive from her sisters. It was how they were.
“I mean, you could. But the thing is, I don’t want his nuts around the house.”
“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Rory asked.
Alaina grimaced. “Not the way you mean. I wanted to do it. It sucked, though.”
Fia grimaced. “Well. At least you won’t miss it.”
And yet again, Alaina wondered if it was a Landry King reference.
“The thing is,” Quinn said, “you don’t have to marry Gus.”
She thought about it. For a long moment. Over the ticking sound of the clock. She let a whole minute pass. Quinn wasn’t wrong. She didn’t have to marry Gus. She would be okay. It might not be ideal, but it would be fine.
“You could do a lot worse than Gus McCloud for a dad,” Alaina pointed out. “And at the end of the day...that’s what he’s offering. It’s not just about me.”
“But why is he offering this?” Quinn asked. “I can understand why you’d take it, I’m just not sure why he’s giving it.”
“Well, ouch, Quinn. Anyway, I’m not sure that I can answer that. I haven’t actually talked to Gus. I’m going to. Tomorrow I guess. He told me to come to McCloud’s Landing.”
“Look,” Fia said. “I know that you already...made the announcement in front of everybody and all that. But you don’t have to do anything.”
Rory nodded. “She’s right, you can quit. Trust me on that. I’m an expert. If something is hard? You can just never do it again. Like rope climb in PE.”
Alaina cleared her throat and pointed at her stomach. “The rope has been climbed, Rory.” She sighed. “Look, this is my mess.”
“However you choose to clean it up,” Fia said, “you have our unending support. Celtic warrior priestesses and all that.”
“I know that.”
“You don’t have to keep it,” Fia pointed out.
“I do, though,” she said. Because of all the scenarios that she’d gone over in her head, this was the only one she knew she could live with.
“Just wanted to make sure you knew that...we’ve got you. We’ve got your back. I know that all these men around here think that we need them to protect us. But we are not insignificant, and we are not weak. We took our ranch and we made it into something great. Something that we could do. Something that made the most out of our strengths.”
