The rough ride, p.8
The Rough Ride, page 8
“Thanks.”
He came back with a glass, and she drank from it, but it didn’t do anything to help with the light-headedness. But thankfully, everyone was lost in their revelry now, and they weren’t paying attention to the small breakdown the bride was having over in the corner.
She peered up at Gus. He didn’t look... Worried was the wrong word. She didn’t think he did anything half so uncertain as worry. But there was a little bit of concern etched into his face, and that was...sweet. She supposed. Not a word she would normally use to describe him. He knelt down in front of her.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
He looked up at her. “How are your feet?”
“Fine.” She frowned. “Why?”
“Pregnant women. Their feet hurt.”
“When they’re big their feet hurt,” she said, feeling flustered. “I don’t even show yet.”
Still, he stayed where he was, and then he slipped one of her shoes off, pushing hard into the arch of her foot, and she flexed her toes. “Oh.”
It felt good.
No one had ever...rubbed her feet before. And there were people all around them. “Relax,” he said.
“Gus,” she said. “We’re...”
“I’m making sure you’re comfortable.”
But she was... They had kissed. And suddenly, all she could think about was his mouth. And the way it had felt.
It was funny, to compare. She shouldn’t. It was weird and wrong and kind of messed up. Travis had been confident. His kisses forceful. But they were choppy and the rhythm was off. It was a confidence that seemed to insist upon itself.
That wasn’t the way that Gus’s confidence worked.
His was slow. Deliberate. Controlled. Like there wasn’t a thing in the world that he had to prove.
Not a thing.
And it was the same with this.
He hadn’t asked. Not really. He was just...making her feel good. Handling her body like he knew just what to do. And it was strange, the way that he had anticipated something she hadn’t even thought she would enjoy. But it turned out her feet did feel a little bit sore, and this felt good.
“We don’t have to stay,” he said.
“It’s our wedding.” She sounded sulky. And she was annoyed with herself. And she wondered where the hell all her certainty had gone. “There’s cake. The Kings brought meat.”
“Well,” he said, his tone flat. “Far be it for us to turn down the generosity of the King family. So rarely is it shown.”
She was pretty sure Gus was actually funny. You just had to pay close attention.
“They’re not that bad,” she said.
“Jury’s out,” Gus said.
“We’ve known them all of our lives.”
“Yeah. Jury’s still out.”
He transferred his attention to her other foot, removing her shoe slowly. She bit her lip, goose bumps breaking out over her arms, and she looked around, feeling like they were doing something outrageously scandalous.
But no one was even looking at them. And she didn’t know why she was reacting this way. Why it felt like something erotic.
“Don’t be jumpy,” he said.
“I’m not jumpy,” she said.
“You are jumpy.” He continued to work her sore muscles, his hands moving up her calves.
She moaned. “That feels good.”
Then he pulled his hands away. Almost like she’d burned him.
Well, probably not that. He knew what real burns felt like. She couldn’t be that powerful.
“Well. I hope you feel better,” he said.
“I do. Thanks.” She curled her toes into the grass and cleared her throat, then shoved her feet back inside of her shoes.
“I am looking forward to...getting properly settled in the house.”
Over the last few days all of her stuff had been packed up and moved over to his place in boxes. Where everything but the furniture remained in that state.
“It’ll be nice.”
New roommate, she almost said. But she didn’t.
“You have a doctor?” he asked.
“What?” She shook her head, jarred by the subject change.
“I was thinking. Because I was just thinking about...all the things we need to settle. The house. Stuff for the baby. It connects.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.”
“Not yet,” she said. “I was thinking I would go to one over in town.”
“Yeah. Well, let me know if I can help with anything. With that.”
“About the ranch too,” she said. “Just while we’re settling business.”
While music played in the background, and they were at their wedding, and he had been rubbing her feet a moment ago. “I want to help. I know that you’re getting the cabins set up and remodeled, and everything opens in a couple of months. I just... I’d like to help wherever I can.”
“You don’t need to.”
“I want to. I like ranch work. I... I’ve missed it. I did it with my dad when he was there and after he left... Anyway we don’t really do that at Sullivan’s Point anymore. The Sullivans don’t. We’ve been really focused on opening up the store. Rory is into the rentals. And Fia is all about her baked goods, and her garden. It’s just...it’s not the same.”
“You can do whatever you want. If you want to be part of exercising horses...”
“I do. Horse chores. I’d like that.”
“Then that’s my wedding gift to you. Physical labor.”
“Thanks. I mean, I guess that means that I won’t be cooking three meals a day for you. But I’m sure that I would rather eat my cooking for dinner than yours. And whatever I don’t do... I’ll bring. From the Sullivans. My family can help feed us. Since Fia cooks something savory every night anyway.”
“Right.”
She could picture that life a little bit clearer now. And maybe that was a wholly appropriate thing to be doing at their wedding.
They stayed to cut the cake, but declined to make a big ceremony out of it. She hadn’t been able to eat. Not anything. She wasn’t sad. That wasn’t it at all. She was just... Things had changed. They were changing. And she wanted to hurry up and get to the part where it felt certain and settled. Because right now it was... She was trying to latch on to a picture of it all, and it was a little bit difficult. Right now it was all very weird.
When they were through with the wedding, it was dark outside and the whole crowd of people cheered them on as they headed to Gus’s truck, which thankfully hadn’t been vandalized in any fashion. Probably because they were just driving up the road on the same property. And she knew that they weren’t headed for an actual wedding night, and still. Her body felt jingly with nerves.
Maybe because he took her hand. And it was as rough and hot as it had been at the wedding. And it was just a strange thing to have him touch her like that.
When they got in the truck it seemed especially quiet.
He started the engine and they went down the road, and suddenly he sang a line of the pop song that had been on when they’d driven out to Mapleton. Then stopped. Just as suddenly as he’d started. As if he realized that he’d done it out loud. Not embarrassed really. Just done.
“We did it,” she said.
“Yeah,” he responded.
“Married.”
“Yep.”
They pulled up to the house, and got out. And she was suddenly...very nervous.
“Relax,” he said, anticipating her mood again.
It was...comforting in some ways when he did that, and a little bit disconcerting, also. Because she felt taken care of, but at the same time extraordinarily exposed.
They walked into the house, and she didn’t know what she had been expecting, but it wasn’t there.
Maybe a sense of warmth. A sense of homecoming. But it just felt like Gus’s house, that bachelor pad that it had been before.
“You need anything?”
“No,” she said. “I’m actually really tired. I think I’m going to go take a shower and go to bed.”
“All right. See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”
He went into the kitchen, and she went upstairs. She wondered if he had gone into the kitchen just to avoid going upstairs at the same time she did. She walked into the bedroom, and stopped. There were just stacks of boxes. On her bed. And it wasn’t nice or special or hers at all.
It was his.
She sat down on the edge of the bed and closed her eyes.
“You’ve got this. This is your new life. Make it yours. You don’t need to feel bad about it.”
She was done with her shower and ready to get in bed when she realized she still hadn’t talked to either of her parents. Maybe one of her sisters had told them. That she was pregnant. That she had gotten married.
She didn’t know why she felt an obligation to them.
It just didn’t go away. No matter how angry or upset she felt, no matter whether they felt like parents.
She felt like their daughter and it made her think she needed to tell them.
And that was a feeling too complicated for her to dig into. A sensation she didn’t like at all.
CHAPTER FIVE
GUS GAVE UP on sleep pretty early and went out to the stables. There wasn’t a whole lot of shit to do, but he couldn’t stand being in the house.
Touching her had been a mistake.
He stood there in the dark, hanging on to his hay fork, breathing hard. She was so soft.
And he’d kissed her.
Hell.
There was no way around it. It would have looked ridiculous for him to not do it. But she was so sweet. He’d known that she would be. But it wasn’t anything like he’d imagined. Mostly because he never let himself fully have that fantasy.
Impressions of wanting her were one thing, but he didn’t let it get graphic. But hell. Hell.
Now he’d kissed her. He’d tasted her. Sure. It had been nothing like the kind of taste he’d wanted to have. But it had been damn sweet.
She had melted against him. Pressing her breasts against him. She was a curvy little handful. And it was way too easy to imagine...
He cursed, and went back to breaking out the stalls. Hell.
Yeah, this was a special kind of hell.
One with pretty green eyes and fiery red hair.
A particular kind of hell that he sort of wanted to linger in. Because it was...
Well, maybe because he was a martyr.
But when you wanted the wrong things, and you also wanted to be a decent human being, he didn’t know what the alternative was.
She didn’t see him that way. That was the thing.
He could touch her and get a reaction out of her. She was passionate. But...it wasn’t the same.
She’d liked that pretty boy. That pretty boy that was smooth and her age, and not...jacked up. Of course, that guy had been a terrible asshole, but that had nothing to do with how he looked. Or maybe it did. Maybe having it too easy, being far too pretty, had made him into that kind of jackass.
Gus wouldn’t know.
Well, his brothers were pretty boys, and they managed to not behave that way. So who knew? And it wasn’t his business. The guy wasn’t his problem. And they were just doing this for the baby. That was it. And he had to remember that. He had to remember that there was a reason for this, and it wasn’t his own satisfaction.
Hell, Gus didn’t even know what his own satisfaction looked like. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be satisfied. He didn’t feel sorry for himself particularly. But he’d been born into a relatively shitty life, and he’d done the best with that that he could. His life was better now. Had been ever since his old man had been run off. But there was still shit that lingered on. That was the thing. And it made things difficult.
Well. It made things difficult where she was concerned.
He shook his head. He was sick of himself. He was being a whiny-ass bitch.
And he didn’t deal in self-pity. That wasn’t his thing.
So he kept on working. Until his brother showed up. And they didn’t have to know that he’d been out here all night. And Alaina never had to know either.
* * *
WHEN SHE WOKE up the sun was high in the sky.
She sat up with a start and looked around the room. She wasn’t in her room. Because she was at Gus’s house.
Because she had married Gus yesterday.
And all of it came back to her in a flood of memory. She got out of bed, and gave thanks that at least she didn’t want to throw up.
Then she looked at the stack of boxes around the room and felt...heavy. There was a lot to do.
And it was late.
How the hell had she slept in this late? She hadn’t slept in this late since...ever.
It was 10:00 a.m.
She was a farm girl. She didn’t do that lie-in-bed-for-half-the-day stuff.
She got dressed quickly, pulling on her blue jeans and grimacing when she realized they were a little bit tight.
And then she went downstairs, and stopped.
The house was a mess. There was a layer of dust over...most things.
It had a hollow, unused feeling. And then she went into the kitchen. And that table was still covered with papers. And everything was just...
The space of a man who wasn’t really inhabiting his house.
It was the weirdest thing.
And he hadn’t fixed it up for her.
Why should he? She didn’t really know the answer to that. Especially because she had said she wanted to be in charge of all of this.
But she also wanted to work the ranch. And she suddenly felt overwhelmed by all the things that she wanted to do. They would have to make a room for the baby.
You’re getting ten steps ahead of yourself.
She huffed. First things first. She needed some coffee. That little bit that she was allowed to have today.
The coffeepot was cold. Whatever had been in it was long gone. It didn’t even look like there had been any made in it today.
She opened the top and saw that there was an old filter full of grounds in it and grimaced. She dumped out the remainder in the carafe and went hunting around for beans. It took forever to find them. The little bag of grounds was halfway rolled shut. She got the pot of coffee going, and then proceeded to hunt around for some breakfast.
She opened up the fridge.
There was...beer. And the half-and-half she’d used here the other day. The corners of the carton opening were ragged, the half-and-half nearly gone. There was no milk. There was an onion. She had no idea the hell why.
So there was nothing to eat. Fabulous.
What kind of farmer—rancher—didn’t even have eggs in his fridge?
She opened up the freezer and laughed. There was toaster strudel in there. And pizza. And ice cream. And the man obviously ate entirely out of his freezer. She took out a toaster strudel and the little packet of icing. Stuck it in the toaster. She wasn’t going to be a beggar or a chooser. And this was just fine.
But she was going to have to go get some supplies. Maybe she would just go back to Sullivan’s Point and get some things there. She would be able to see her sisters.
Of course, they might be waiting for details on her wedding night.
Since she had not told them that Gus had outright said he didn’t want her. Because her pride wouldn’t allow it.
She huffed. Again. She was feeling very huffy and it was his fault. Because the house was a mess.
What she ultimately decided on as she crunched the toaster pastry and drank the coffee with the scanty cream was that she would go down to the ranch. Work for a while, and then she would co-opt Gus and make him shop with her. They could go to a grocery store, and choose some things that he liked. And maybe they could go out to dinner. That seemed like a nice thing to do.
Yeah. Happy couple time.
That’s not weird at all. And completely unlike what you said you were going to do.
Yeah. That. Completely unlike that. Weren’t they supposed to be like roommates? But he wanted her to cook for him, so she had to know what he wanted. She finished eating, dumped the rest of the coffee out, because the grounds were old and it was all disappointing anyway, and she was going to fix that.
And get the man a sugar shaker.
Because she was not fussing around with this old bag of sugar every morning.
She went outside and took a deep breath. The morning air was crisp and clean. And later today she was going to have to have him help her get her truck too, to bring it back. Maybe this was being an adult. This endless list of things to do.
She hadn’t been in charge of the household at Sullivan’s Point. And it felt different now.
Look at you. Being in charge. Making your life.
This was the right choice.
She kept herself focused and walked quickly down to the barn area. It wasn’t Gus that she found first. It was Brody. Brody was so good-looking he scared her a little bit. He crossed over a tipping point into being intimidating. Because mortal men should not look like that. “Good morning,” he said.
She blushed. “Hi, Brody.”
“Elsie’s around if you’re looking for her.”
“Oh. I was actually looking for Gus.”
She really had been. She hadn’t even thought of the fact that Elsie would be working here. But of course she did now.
“Oh,” Brody said, his eyebrows lifting. “Well, he’s growling around somewhere. He’s in a bear of a mood. So good luck with that.”
“Is he ever not in a bear of a mood?”
That was what Gus reminded her of. A big grouchy bear. And his house was his den, and it was sort of set up for a summer he wouldn’t be spending in it.
