Saving prom, p.4
Saving Prom, page 4
"Maybe I play dirty, but I'm trying to get you to see sense here," Connie said. "Do you really want your friendship with Felicity to end in the same place as those guys who kept asking me out ended even after I made it clear I wasn’t interested in what they were selling? Because I've seen some of the self-insert fanfiction they've written about me. It started out all lovey-dovey with us having a perfect relationship in whatever fantasy world they prefer, usually Harry Potter for some weird reason, and it's ended in some pretty dark places. Like Imperius dark. Ugh. I had to get a restraining order against one guy."
"Fanfiction?" I asked. “Imperius?”
I knew what those two things were. The problem was I couldn’t conceive of a world where they would be applied to Connie. Particularly by some of the guys who couldn’t take a hint. Like we’re talking she flat out told them she’d never date them even if they were the last two people on earth denial.
And they still didn’t take the hint. Though you couldn’t really call it a hint at that point so much as it was a punch to the face, figuratively speaking, and they just kept coming back for more. Like they enjoyed being an emotional punching bag.
I didn’t want to be a punching bag.
"Of course," she said. "When reality isn't all that good to you I can understand someone wanting to retreat into the realm of fiction. It’s just creepy when they try to drag me along with."
"You're crazy," I said.
"Not as crazy as those idiots writing those stories about me. Seriously. Talk about disturbing!"
"We’re getting distracted from the important thing here," I said. "What the hell am I going to do about this? Like this is seriously crazy!"
There was a long pause from Connie. A pause where I thought she might actually be on the verge of hanging up. Where I wondered if maybe I'd finally screwed the pooch so thoroughly that she didn't have any sage advice for me.
Finally she sighed.
"I think you should do it," she said.
I stopped. Pulled my phone away and stared at the name on my screen just to make sure I was still having a conversation with Connie.
"Who was your favorite member of *NSYNC when we were ten years old and you found your mom's old CDs?" I asked.
"Trick question," she said. "It was the Backstreet Boys, and my favorite was Brian. He’s still kind of hot in an old dude sort of way."
"I suppose that explains why you have a thing for guys who frost their tips at school," I said.
There weren’t many guys who did that, but ‘90s nostalgia was enough of a thing these days that some went for it. Which was an unfortunate return of an unfortunate hairstyle if you asked me, but no one ever consulted me for male fashion advice.
"As if," she said, quoting another piece of ‘90s pop culture we’d discovered mostly because her mom had grown up with that ‘90s pop culture and passed that love on to her daughter.
"What's with these questions anyways?"
"I was making sure there wasn't a pod person on the other end of the line or something," I said.
"A pod person?" she asked. "You're seriously going off the deep end here. Why is it so crazy for me to tell you to go for it now that you have a chance?"
"You just got done telling me the only reason you were telling me to go for it before was because you felt bad for me."
"That's not exactly true,” she said. "It's more like I didn't think you had a chance, but I still wanted to encourage my friend."
"And how do I know you're not doing the same thing now?" I asked.
"Maybe I am," she said. "But think about it. You have the opportunity of a lifetime. All those guys who think I put them in the friend zone never got this chance. You should go and see what happens. I'm not saying I think there's a chance she'll turn out to be interested in you in that way, I have a feeling she's totally straight considering her habit of dating a new guy every week, but you never know. And besides, this might be your one shining moment with her before you go off to college and find a girl whose into girls to date. It’ll be one of those memories you look back and laugh on with your girlfriend someday."
I sighed. I didn't like how close her own future projections were to what I’d been thinking. She was right. This might be the only chance I ever got to go on a real date with Felicity. So why not take the opportunity? Seize the day? Live the fantasy, if only for one night?
"Maybe you do have a point," I said. "I'll think about it."
"No you won't. You know you were going through with this before you even called me to get permission," she said. "So why don't you go and have fun?"
"I hate how you can read my mind sometimes," I said.
"And that's why you love me," she said.
And with that the line went dead, and I was just as confused now as I’d been before I called her for some much needed clarity. Damn it.
8
Tickets
"Are you ready?"
I looked up in confusion. Felicity stood before me with a beaming smile on her face. She'd just gotten back from dropping off her lunch tray.
So far that was pretty normal. Towards the end of lunch people tended to dump their leftovers in the trash and toss their trays on the magical conveyer that took everything to the lunch ladies for a good cleaning.
The confusion was because I couldn't for the life of me figure out what she thought we should be ready for.
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"I'm talking about the tickets, of course," she said with a giggle. "What else would I be talking about?"
I looked up and around. I didn't see any table in the cafeteria where they usually set up to sell prom tickets.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, repeating myself because my brain was out to lunch. "They don't have the tables up yet."
Her grin grew even wider. "That's where you're wrong. They set up out in the hallway this time around for some reason.
"Weird," I said. "And it makes no sense. Why are we getting tickets?"
I said it to give her one final out. One final chance to decided she didn’t want to go along with this crazy scheme. Though from the way she crossed her arms and looked down at me with a look that said she wasn't putting up with my crap she obviously took it the wrong way.
Not that I could exactly tell her I was giving her an out from going on a date that one half of us was going to be taking way more seriously than the other half. Talk about your all time awkward conversations.
"Come on Lily," she said. "We said we were going to prom together, and you're not backing out just because you have a problem with going to dances."
I rolled my eyes. Another of the many things I wasn't going to explain to her was the whole reason I had a problem with going to dances was I was never going to those dances with the one person I really wanted to go with.
That would lead to having to explain to her that I finally was going to a dance with the one person I'd always wanted to go to a dance with, except it was in some weird fucked up scenario where I wasn't getting what I wanted even as I was getting exactly what I wanted.
It was like I'd asked a monkey's paw too fulfill a wish, and the finger that stayed up when it was done granting my wish for a date with the girl of my dreams was a big old middle one.
"Do we have to do this right now?" I asked.
"Yes. We absolutely have to do this right now. You're not getting out of this, and that's that!"
I knew that tone of voice. It was a tone that meant she was going to get what she wanted from me no matter what. She had a way of cajoling and prodding me into doing what she wanted, and because of that little unrequited crush that I've mentioned like hundred times since this book started I was always more than willing to go along with it.
I always wondered if she knew on some level that she could get me to go along with anything she wanted.
I sighed. This is not what I'd been hoping for as an after lunch treat. But I suppose there was nothing for it but to go through with it. I'd already committed, and hadn’t I just told Connie I was going to try and enjoy this?
We stepped out into the hall and there was already a commotion that had nothing to do with my inner turmoil. People were standing in a long line and there was a steady murmur. An angry murmur.
"Would you look at that?” I said. "It looks like we’re not going to be able to get to the front of the line before the lunch period ends. I guess we'll have to try again tomorrow."
Then the line moved forward. Someone moved back along the line, and they looked pissed off. Way more pissed off than someone should be after buying a prom ticket.
I recognized the guy. Our school was small enough that everybody knew everybody else.
"What's wrong Dave?” I called out to him as he strode past.
He turned and rolled his eyes. "Just wait until you get to the front."
"But that's going to take forever," I said.
He shook his head and grinned. "It might go faster than you think. Just wait and see."
He walked on and I stared after him. It was an odd answer. I turned and looked to the front of the line. I wondered what the hell was going on up there.
"See?" Felicity said. "There's nothing to worry about. We’ll be up at the front in no time. You aren’t getting out of it this easy.”
“Uh-huh,” I said, peering to the front.
Another couple was up there and then they turned and stormed off too. Both of them looked really pissed off. What was going on up there?
“Honestly, why are you freaking out so much over getting advance tickets? I'll pay for them if that's the problem."
Felicity turned and smiled. A beaming smile. The kind of smile that always made my heart melt. The kind of smile that left my knees shaking.
And sure enough before long we were at the front of the line. It helped that there were more than a few people who stormed off, though I also saw a couple of people paying. They didn’t look happy about it though.
Dirk from the prom committee sat behind the desk. He looked up at us with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He was that kind of person.
I resisted the urge to gag. I'd never liked the guy. He was one of those holy rollers who always walked around acting like he was so much better than everyone else because he carried a Bible around with him all the time.
I'm sure every school in the Midwest has someone like him. The kind of person who not only has to wear his religion on his sleeve, but also has to wield it like a cudgel against everyone else.
I think everybody reading this can understand why I was already predisposed not to trust someone like that even before all of this Saving Prom nonsense started. And I think by the time we’re done with this story you'll find that my suspicion regarding dear old Dirkhead was absolutely correct.
He was a snake in the grass, but he was smiling at us. Though I couldn't help but think that smile hid some sharp teeth.
"How can I help you ladies?" he asked, giving Felicity a once over that I was pretty sure his imaginary sky friend wouldn’t appreciate. Then again since when have the violently religious ever cared about a little hypocrisy? “Buying tickets for you and your boyfriends?"
He looked between the two of us and his smile turned to a slight frown. As though he’d just remembered something unfortunate. "Oh. I'm sorry. I forgot about your circumstances Felicity, and that you don’t have anyone to take Lily.”
His face said he was sorry, but his tone said he’d enjoyed that. That had been intentional. The asshole.
I leaned in closer to Felicity. "Come on. We don't have to take this crap from him."
"We kind of do,” she hissed back. "He's the head of the committee. He's the one selling the tickets. Now just play nice and I’ll take care of this."
I crossed my arms and gritted my teeth, but I knew I was going to go along with what she said. Because she had a way of getting me to go along with whatever she wanted, and it didn't look like that was going to change now that the two of us were actually totally for realsies going on a sort of date.
"I'm sorry," Felicity said. "I know my recent breakup has been the source of gossip, but that's really none of your business."
I gaped. It was amazing how she managed to say that and sound all sweet and nice even though she was obviously telling him off.
"Now what would you think about going ahead and selling us two tickets?"
He looked at the two of us. I’ll remember that look for the rest of my life. Suspicion mixed in with something else. Disgust?
Yeah, I was pretty sure that was the moment he first realized there was something going on here. That me and Felicity weren’t buying tickets for us and a couple of guys. And I think that’s the moment he decided to fuck with us, but I can’t know for sure.
“Right,” he said slowly. “Four tickets coming up. Eighty dollars per person.”
“Eighty dollars?” I choked. “Surely you mean eighty bucks for everyone, and it’s only forty dollars because it’s just the two of us.”
“No, I mean eighty dollars for each person, and I’m going to need the names of your dates so I can put it in the book here,” he said.
No wonder people were getting so pissed off. Eighty dollars per person was highway robbery. I think the tickets cost thirty dollars last year and people grumbled because they were having it in the gym and reusing the same old decorations they always did.
I guess that new venue made it way more expensive than I ever could’ve imagined. Damn.
“In that case we still only need two tickets,” Felicity said. “And you know our names. Why would you even ask?”
“Uh-huh,” he said, looking both disgusted and like he couldn’t be happier at the same time. “I don’t know how else to say this. I’m going to need the names of your dates. The guys you’re going with.”
Like I said, Dirk was one of those people who seemed to take pleasure in fucking other people over. So it’s hardly surprising that he’d look happy about getting a chance to screw us over.
"I think you're misunderstanding me," Felicity said. "We’re buying tickets for the two of us. No one else. We’re going to prom together.”
Felicity didn’t seem to be getting it. Dirk was doing this on purpose. I could see it in his eyes.
I had a bad feeling that this was about to get very interesting in a very bad way.
9
Denied
He eyed the two of us. It was a curious look. A look I've seen plenty of times since. Unfortunately the national attention our prom date garnered meant there were a bunch of people who ended up giving us that look, but that day with Dirk staring up at us from behind the ticket table was the first time I'd ever seen it.
I can't say that it was a pleasant look.
"So the two of you are going together?" he asked.
"Well yes," Felicity said.
Her smile was still there, but I could see the strain at the edges of her eyes. Yeah. She might play nice with everybody as a rule, but clearly she was having trouble coming up with a compelling reason to play nice with this ass.
He slapped the notebook he’d been using to take down names shut. He looked up at us with another one of those looks that said he was so sorry he was going to have to do this while at the same time he couldn’t be happier that he was getting an opportunity to dunk on the gays just a little. Even though at that point we were just going as friends.
Maybe if he’d sold us those tickets right then and there it never would’ve been a problem. Maybe if he’d just done the right thing from the beginning nothing would’ve happened the way it did. It wouldn’t have become the national news it eventually did.
In a way I suppose that means I have Dirk to thank for having Felicity in my life. I’m not sure how I feel about that, to be perfectly honest.
"I'm sorry," he said. "But I can't sell you any tickets."
I blinked. "What the hell are you talking about?" I asked. "We’re students at this school. We're seniors. Where do you get off telling us we can't buy tickets to prom?"
He pointedly looked at the two of us. Took in a deep breath. Let it out in a long sigh. The whole production made it seem like he was upset that he wasn't able to do this, but I could tell from his smirk that he was enjoying every moment.
"I'm sorry," he said. "But prom is for couples. The two of you can't be a couple."
“Come again?” Felicity asked. “Where do you get off telling me who I can or can’t date?”
I looked at her in pure shock. I mean of all the things she could’ve said in response to him being such a complete and utter prick that was the last thing I expected. What was she talking about when she said she decided who she dated?
It had to be that she was upset. That she was getting ready to rip this guy a new one. He was denying her on the hypothetical scenario that she was dating another girl and so naturally she was going to get pissed off under the same hypothetical premise.
I told myself it was all a rhetorical flourish she was using. That she didn’t mean anything by it. Still, I couldn’t shake the flutter that developed in my stomach when she talked about us dating.
“I get off telling you who you can or can’t date because I think we both know what you’re talking about here is unnatural,” he said, getting louder.
I turned around. Looked at the crowd gathered behind us. People had already been upset that it was taking so long to get to the front of the line, but they looked even more unhappy now that there were a couple of crazy girls at the front of the line holding things up.
I was freaking out too. After all, this wasn’t a big deal for Felicity even though she was making it out like it was a huge deal. For all her bluster it’s not like she was actually a lesbian. It’s not like she had a closet to come out of.
Me, though? Well that was a different story.
“Come on Felicity,” I hissed, grabbing her arm. “We don’t need to make a big deal out of this. We can talk to a teacher or something.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Dirk said. “You can talk to anyone you want to but you’re not allowed to buy tickets for the prom.”
