Silent guilt, p.17
Silent Guilt, page 17
part #2 of Silent Series
Grabbing the mouse, I click email from Rachel, opening it. ”
Hey, boss man!
Shannon’s here. Can I send her your way?
I smile briefly as I shake my head from side to side. That girl seems to be able to make me do so every time. Anyone else who even thought about calling me that, well, I’d probably fire their ass in a heartbeat.
I shoot a quick reply back to her.
Yes. Send her in.
As I close out of my email, I hear Teresa clearing her throat on the other end of the phone receiver that I have cradled against my ear. Removing my hand from the mouse, I reach up and take it back into my hands.
“Are you listening to me, Nicholas?” she asks as I see Shannon walk into the entrance to my office. She is dressed in a white sleeveless shirt that’s snug around her tits and loose around her belly. She is showing off a little too much cleavage for a visit to my office, but I’m not going to lie. It’s hot. Skimming my eyes lower, she is in a pair of stone-washed jeans with a rip at the knee on the left side and sneakers.
“Meeting’s over. We can talk later,” I say as I motion for her to come in. She doesn’t move. Her face and body look frozen as she stares at me.
What’s wrong with her, I think to myself as a worry runs through me.
“Excuse me?” I barely hear Teresa reply.
“Continue enjoying your vacation. We will finish this up next week. Bye, Teresa.”
I hang up the phone before she has a chance to respond. I couldn’t care less if I’m being rude. I’m more concerned with the woman standing in the entrance to my office. She looks sick.
“Are you okay?” I ask as I push my chair back from my desk and stand. I don’t like the way she is staring back at me. Something is wrong. My first thought is the baby. Is something wrong with her? I know the kid could really be a he, but ever since the dream I had a few nights ago it’s all I see.
A baby wrapped in a pink blanket.
A girl.
A daughter.
My baby girl.
In a blink of an eye, she grabs her mouth and flees the entryway to my office. Is she sick? Morning sickness perhaps? Surely not. I mean I haven’t seen her get sick in well over a week, probably close to two weeks now.
When I get to the lobby, I see her entering the door to the stairs so I run in that direction, pushing the door open, causing it to slam into the wall when it can’t open any wider. I take the steps two at a time trying to catch up to her.
“Shannon,” I call out when I see her on the next set of stairs. She doesn’t stop and I force myself to move faster. When I hit the flat surface on the seventh floor, I’m able to grab her, looping my arm around her waist. “Stop,” I command as I pull her back against my chest. I fall back against the wall as I try to catch my breath.
Dropping her head forward, she begins to cry. My body stiffens as I tighten my hold on her. I wrap my other arm around her waist too. Shannon crying isn’t something I know how to deal with. It makes my blood boil and I want to hurt whomever or whatever is making her upset.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” I ask as I silently say a prayer to God that nothing is wrong with our baby. It’s funny really. I’ve spent my life cursing God, and now on most days, I find myself begging him for something.
When she doesn’t answer, I turn her around to face me. Releasing my right hand from her waist, I bring it up to her face and tip her chin up to face me. I search her eyes for some kind of answer, but I have no idea what I’m looking for. I don’t like not knowing what to do.
If she would only tell me.
Speak woman.
“I’m going to be sick,” she murmurs as her eyes lock onto mine and I see it. I see what’s wrong. It’s me. Without saying another word, I lift her into my arms and carry her back up the stairs.
Once I reach the eleventh floor, I cross the lobby still carrying her. Rachel looks up from her desk with wide eyes. “Water,” I bark and continue to my office. When I walk in, I take her to the couch sitting off to the side of my office. I place her down gently on the leather in an upright position.
“Do you need the bathroom?” I ask, hoping she isn’t about to puke on my couch or the floor. I probably should have taken her there first. She shakes her head from side to side, telling me she isn’t going to hurl.
Kneeling down in front of her, I position myself in-between her legs. “I’m sorry,” she whispers as I reach up with the pads of my thumbs to wipe away the stray tears. Why is she sorry and what the hell have I done now? I notice how pale she looks as she turns her head in the direction of my desk. The sadness in her eyes is still there.
“Shannon?” I say as I reach up, taking hold her of chin, to guide her eyes back to me. “What’s…” I start to ask, but I’m cut off as Rachel interrupts.
“Here is the water you asked for,” she tells me as Shannon and I both look up at her. I take the small bottle from her hands. “I also brought a cup of hot chamomile tea. I figured it might…” she pauses searching for the right word, “help.”
Shannon reaches up and takes the cup of tea from Rachel. “Thanks,” she whispers. Bringing it to her lips, she takes a small sip and then tries to hand it to me. I look down at the cup and then back up to her, indicating that I want her to finish it. I’m demanding without demanding she drink the rest. She sighs before bringing it back up to her lips.
“Anything else?” Rachel asks.
“No.” I say without looking at her. I feel her backing away and soon she exits; I hear the faint sound of the door shutting. I haven’t taken my eyes off Shannon. Finally, she finishes the tea and removes the cup from her lips. I take it from her and place it on the table behind me. I haven’t moved from in-between her legs. It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve been this close to her. It’s only been a few weeks, but I can’t help myself, I place my palms on each side of her jean-clads thighs. My dick twitches as if he knows he’s close to what he craves the most. I close my eyes, trying to keep my hard-on from getting any stiffer. After taking a calming breath, I open them back up.
Shannon is looking back at my desk again with hurt eyes. For the life of me, I have no idea what she’s looking at. Maybe she is looking in that direction to keep from looking at me. I can’t stand not knowing what’s wrong with her or what I’ve done this time to hurt her.
“What’s wrong? Why did you run from my office?” I ask her as I once again guide her chin back to face me. She looks at me briefly before casting her eyes down. Another tear falls from her face. I feel myself losing control. My body starts to heat. If she doesn’t tell me, I’m going to lose it. I can’t stand her tears. They rip at my heart. “Answer me,” I demand.
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry and tell me what’s wrong. You’re freaking me the fuck out,” I tell her, hoping that’s going to make her speak. She looks back up at me.
“When I walked through the door…,” she pauses and looks back down. “I saw it all over again,” she tells me, but I don’t know what she’s talking about. Another tear falls and I tighten my grip on her legs.
“You saw what?” I ask.
“It all played out in front of my again. You. Her. Both of you,” she says as her voice cracks at the end. More tears fall from her beautiful face. What the fuck is she talking about?
“Can you clarify because I’m not following?”
Who’s her? What the fuck is she talking about?
“Please don’t make me say it,” she whispers out.
“Baby, you have to. I don’t know what or who you are talking about.” My voice is a bit calmer. Shannon needs the calm and controlled side of me right now, even if it’s anything, but what I feel. She looks back over at my desk and takes a deep breath as more tears stream down.
“The day I found out I was pregnant,” she starts to explain. “I came to tell you,” she states. So that’s why she was here. She was going to tell me. I never asked her why she ran from me. She takes another deep breath like it’s painful to talk.
“Continue, please.”
She looks down and places her palms face down on top of her blue jeans. “Rachel wasn’t out front so I came to your office. The door was unlocked so I walked in. And I saw you…” She trails off as tears fall unto her shirt.
“You saw me what?” I say loud, almost yelling but not meaning to.
“I saw you fucking Teresa Matthews,” she forces out. My eyes widen not believing what I’m hearing. She couldn’t have seen me. I wasn’t in my office that day. Hell I hadn’t been in my office in a week. When I saw her running to the stairs, I was about to walk out the elevator.
“Excuse me?” I say, not knowing what else to say. What the fuck is going on? Shannon looks up and the crying starts as her body begins to tremble. I move my hands forward, cupping her ass and pull her closer to me. I run a hand up her back and into her hair, cradling her head to my chest. “Baby, stop,” I tell her, but it doesn’t help. She continues to cry.
“I’m sorry. I know…” she starts only to stop to catch her breath. She pulls back from me so I can see her face. “I know I don’t have a right to be mad and I’m not,” she pauses again through cries. “It just bothers me and I can’t get the image out of my head.”
“What the fuck!” I yell, causing her to flinch.
“I’m sorry,” she tells me through her tears.
“I didn’t mean…” Fuck. “First, stop crying. I can’t take it anymore. Please,” I beg her and she takes a deep breath, wiping her soaked face. “Thank you,” I tell her as I place my hands on each side of her hips.
“Secondly, I never fucked Teresa on that day.” Shannon’s eyebrows screw up.
“But I saw—” she starts to say as she looks over to my desk, but I cut her off.
“You didn’t see me. I don’t know what the fuck you saw, but it wasn’t me.” My voice is forceful, trying to get her to believe me.
“Nick…” she begins like she’s about to call me out on a lie.
“Shannon, I swear to fucking God, it wasn’t me. The only person I’ve fucked, had sex with, made love to since you landed in my arms that night at Quaint is you, woman.” My voice is loud and I know I sound harsh, but I don’t know what else to say to make her believe me. “Look at me?” I demand and she looks up. “Did you see my face?”
Shannon glances away, looking over at my desk and then down as I guess she is thinking.
“Well, no but—”
I gently take hold of her chin and lift. “But, nothing. It wasn’t me, Shannon.” I pause as the reality of what’s going on starts to sink in. She saw something though, and I’m about the find the fuck out what. “And I will prove it to you.”
Reaching into the breast pocket of my jacket, I retrieve my phone. After locating the building’s head of security’s cell phone number, I call him. It only takes two rings for him to pick up.
“Yes, Mr. Lockhart, what can I do for you this afternoon?”
“I need footage from my office pulled immediately.” Shannon looks up, confused for a moment before she realizes I have a camera in the room. A look of mortification crosses her face and I know she is thinking of the time I fucked her on this very couch. I hold up my hand hoping to reassure her.
“Certainly, sir. I can have that taken care of right now. Is there a date and time range?”
“Yes,” I stop, trying to remember the date. It was, hell, I’m not sure. I look to Shannon as I bring the phone to my chest.
“Do you remember what date it was?”
“Um,” she too pauses to think. “The nineteenth I think.”
“June 19,” I tell him as I bring the phone back up to my ear. “Pull the footage between ten and one,” I request as I remember it was around lunchtime that she was here.
Shannon looks at me, her eyebrows pinching together, clearly wondering how I know that if I wasn’t here. I never said I wasn’t here; just that whomever she saw, wasn’t me.
“Of course, sir. I should have that to you within a few minutes.”
I hang up, placing the phone down on the table. Shannon is still staring at.
“I was at work that day, or at least, I hadn’t planned on it. I told Teresa I was going to be in that whole week, but I got tired of thinking about you and what I thought had happened. I thought coming to work would get my mind off you. I was getting out of the elevator, about to head to my office when I saw you running through the door leading to the stairs. I called out to you, but you didn’t hear me. I went looking for and I called you. I couldn’t find you so I left trying to find you.”
She doesn’t speak, but nods, telling me she heard every word I said. I think she wants to believe, but isn’t convinced yet.
“Can I have that tea now?”
I pass it to her and she sips it as she leans back into the couch. She looks around and I know she is looking for the camera she now knows is in here.
“It only records the view to my desk. It’s hidden about the entrance.” I hope that eases her, knowing she and I were not captured having sex. “And there isn’t any sound. It’s simply images.”
“Why do you have a hidden video camera anyway?”
“Security,” I tell her. “I don’t trust many people. It’s just a safety measure. Other than myself, the only person who knew it existed was the man I just spoke to on the phone.”
About that time, my phone chimes with an incoming text message. I lift it off the table and open the message.
Check your inbox.
Let me know if there is anything else you need.
“Come on,” I tell Shannon as I place my phone inside my jacket. He emailed me the video. Let’s go see what you saw.”
I know whatever I’m about to view is going to set me off. I’m trying hard to calm myself. Shannon doesn’t need to see that side of me. Fuck, neither do the people in my office, but whatever that goddamn bitch did, is about to get her ass fired.
Shannon stands; I take the empty cup from her, placing it on the table before walking over to my desk. As I take a seat in front of my computer, I open the email. Just as he said, the video is attached.
Shannon is hesitant at my side. Her body has a slight tremble to it. I reach out, pulling her to me. She comes willingly and sits on my lap.
With my quick click, I open the video and it starts to play. After a minute or two of nothing, I forward the video until I see two figures. By the time I pause it and play it once again, my anger is boiling over.
“Is that?” Shannon question is full of shock.
My VP and Jeffery Chaney, in my office.
“Do you need to see the whole video?” I grit out. I’m not meaning to be harsh with her, but I don’t want to see Jeffery fucking Teresa at the very desk in front of me. Hell, in the goddamn chair I’m sitting in now.
“No. I believe you, but…” She slides off my lap and I’m grateful. I want to get out of this damn seat as fast I can. “I don’t understand?”
“Neither do I.” I stand and walk around from behind my desk.
“Nick,” Shannon calls out, “she called me.”
“She what?”
“Teresa. I was about to head up here when she called me that day. She told me the two of you needed to go over details before my book was sent to print. She knew I was coming up here. So why?”
I step back. What the fuck is Teresa playing at? Then it hits me. All along she has been saying little things; she doesn’t want us together. She wants to be with me.
That fucking bitch.
“Months ago,” I huff out, “Christmas I believe it was. I got drunk, really drunk and it was at a party that I did fuck her, but it only happened once. I knew it was a huge mistake. I thought we could forget about it. Teresa has had a thing for me for a while. I just figured she would eventually see it wasn’t going to happen.” I look at Shannon in concern. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I guess. Can I kick her ass?” Shannon’s voice is laced with heat. Her face is flushed. She’s angry too.
“No, pregnant one. I’ll take care of it.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’m going to fire her.”
Before I leave, I make sure Rachel sets up a meeting first thing in the morning on Monday with Teresa. I’d like to get it done and over with, but that isn’t happening today. The bitch isn’t here today, and tomorrow LP is closed for the Fourth of July.
Come next week, she is gone.
SIXTEEN
I tried for the last twenty-hours to stop thinking about the mess I found out yesterday. I want so damn badly to rip them both apart. Teresa, not physically, because despite everything, I would never lay my hands on a woman. Jeffery, however, that motherfucker needs his ass handed to him.
I know Jeffery hates me for what I did to his brother. It’s not like I blame him for that. If someone hurt Nikki or even Jase the way I hurt Daniel, I’d hate that person too.
Walking out of the closet, I get dressed. I hear laughter coming from down the hall and music coming in from the windows to the backyard. I know people have already started to arrive.
It’s the Fourth of July weekend; it might just be the first holiday I’ll enjoy, if I can put yesterday out of my mind, if only for a few days. The first holiday without my father should be a goddamn celebration.
Before joining the others, I grab my cell phone off the bed, quickly creating a text before I talk myself out of it.
Remember what I said.
Stay. The. Fuck. Away. From. Shannon.
I mean it, motherfucker.
Shoving it into my pocket, I head out, down the hall and enter the living room to find Charmin along with two rat dogs on the couch sleeping.
Where the hell did they come from? My dog looks like a gigantic polar bear compared to the mini things next to her.
Looking out the window, I see Shannon engrossed in a conversation with several of her friends and Shane. Jase and Matt are manning the grill. There’s noise coming from the kitchen so I make my way in there to find Nikki chopping an onion.
