Without limits ssion and.., p.60
Without Limits: A BWWM Collection of Passion and Desire, page 60
Lis glowered angrily at him. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t and that pisses you off. Talk.”
She growled and looked away. “Before we moved here from LA, I heard my mother tell Papa that having a kid kept her from seeing the world and that there was more to life than being his personal slave and a teat for his parasite to suck on. I was so upset that I ran down to the stack of boulders behind our house.”
Quint gasped. “That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.” His heart ached for both Tor’i and Lis. It also gave him some insight regarding her mistrust of people.
“Papa told me to stay away from the rocks because rattlesnakes liked to hide in them, but I didn’t care. They had a lot of holes and crevices, and I climbed down into one of the bigger holes to hide. I wanted Mama to notice I was missing and come looking for me.”
“You wanted to see proof that she really cared, but she never showed up, did she?”
Lis looked at him, her eyes reflecting gratitude that he understood. “No. I heard Papa calling for me and but I couldn’t turn around, so I ended up slipping further inside. It was dark and tight, and I felt something climb on me. I hate rats.” She shuddered. “I tried to brush them off and then slipped further into the pile. It was so dark and cold, and I panicked. I’ve never been so afraid in my life.”
“Come here, baby girl.” He didn’t wait for her to move and pulled her into his strong arms, pleased that she didn’t fight against his gesture. His hold tightened as she shook. “You don’t have to keep talking if you don’t want to.”
“No one knows what happened that day. Not even Papa,” she whispered with her face pressed against his chest. “All I wanted was mama to find me. I wanted her to hold me and feel bad for saying the things she did.”
“I understand. I really do. Thank you for trusting me with this secret.”
She didn’t acknowledge his statement. “The rescue dogs found me right before the sun came up. I was freezing and besides myself with terror when they took me to Papa. He cried like a baby.”
“What did your mother say?”
“Nothing. She left in the middle of the night.”
“She left? In the middle of a search for you?!”
“Yeah. She didn’t even say good-bye. Beats all, huh?”
“Were you okay?”
“I was until Papa recovered from his scare. Then I got the licking of my life. That was when he promised he would never lie to me or leave me. He did both,” she sniffed.
“Lisy, he was a sick man. He didn’t want to worry you. He made sure to keep his promise by asking me to come and help you through this. You have every reason to be angry and afraid, sweet cakes, but everyone in the world is not a selfish bitch like your mother. You were a child and did things kids do. She was an adult and should have known better.”
“My brain gets it, my heart doesn’t.”
Quint cupped her chin in his large palm and kissed her forehead. “All things will come together in time if you allow it. No more secrets, okay? And no more swearing or being nasty. I want your word.”
“I’ll try. Promise.”
“Good girl. Under the covers with you, now. Would you like me to sleep downstairs in case you get up during the night?”
“I’m twenty-five years old. I shouldn’t be scared of the dark.”
“There is nothing wrong with being afraid of something or for asking for help. I’ll make a deal with you. If you let me be there to protect you against your fear, I’ll call you to help me with mine.”
“What is it?”
“I hate needles. I actually get light-headed if I see one coming after me. Silly, huh?”
“Not really, they hurt.” Lis gave him a small smile.
“Especially the real long ones.” He held his hands to measure over a foot. “They’d go right through you!”
Lis giggled, nodding. “Like a harpoon. I still throw a tantrum when I have to get a shot. I used to drive Papa crazy if I was ever sick.”
“Well, if you get sick, I’ll take good care of you. I DO like to play doctor,” Quint grinned, happy to see her blush. “Go to sleep. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”
He tucked her in, kissed her forehead and left the door open as he walked quietly into the living room. He lit a fire in the natural stone hearth to chase away the chilly dampness and, kicking off his shoes, laid back on the couch. He fell asleep in seconds with a huge smile on his face.
Chapter Six
Quint’s eyes fluttered open to the bright sunlight shining on his face and his big body uncomfortably weighted down against the overstuffed couch.
Lis.
Sometime during the night, she joined him on the couch. He hadn’t felt her wedge herself between his body and the back of the sofa, or when she shifted to sleep on top of him like he was her personal mattress. At least she was comfortable—he couldn’t say the same for his back, or his cock. Having her so close and not touching her was tortuous.
He had to admit she was adorable when asleep, and so sweet and quiet. She shifted to turn her face, revealing little red marks on her cheek from the buttons on his shirt. He brushed the strands of long, soft hair from her forehead and studied the dark lashes as they fluttered in a dream. He thought about the major break-through they shared and her move to seek comfort from him. They were finally moving in a positive direction. He just prayed there was enough momentum to make it over the next hump—one he knew, without doubt, would come soon.
With the utmost care, he slipped out from under her and went upstairs to shower and change for work. She was still sleeping when he returned with two cups of coffee. Her nose immediately began to twitch.
“I smell coffee,” she mumbled.
“Good morning. I brought you a cup.”
“You’re a god-send,” she moaned, wrapping her fingers around the hot mug. “By the way, thank you for last night.”
“I told you I’m here for you, Lisy. I just wish there was something more I could have done to chase away those memories.”
“Me, too.” She rose to a sitting position and rubbed her neck. “You’re a lumpy mattress.”
He didn’t miss her quick glance at his crotch. “If I had known you wanted to cuddle, I would have climbed in bed with you.”
“I wasn’t planning on it, but I had a bad dream. I didn’t want to wake you over such a silly thing, so I weaseled next to you. Are you mad?”
“Not at all.” He grinned. “Just don’t blame me for the lumps that pop up because of it.”
Lis paused for a moment as she sipped the steaming liquid. “Quint? I didn’t realize how much I missed you until last night. I needed your strength as much as your comfort and wanted to tell you that I appreciated both.”
He eyed her, wondering if she was being sincere or if her disposition was a ploy to throw him off. He decided it was best to play along and see. “I’ve missed you, too. I’m also serious about your behavior. I let you off the hook last night, but it won’t happen again.”
A rosy glow covered her cheeks. “I wouldn’t call that spanking being let off the hook, but I have to confess something to you. That caveman shit is a real turn on. I almost jumped your bones last night after you got all manly on me. Stupid, huh?”
“I’m surprised it took you this long to accept that part of yourself. I’ve known since the minute you got in my face after we were partnered up three years ago.” He crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair to study her body language. Her eyes didn’t rest on one object, her breathing was rapid and irregular, and she played with her nails. She was uncomfortable with his observation, and unsure of how to respond.
“I’ve told you before that there’s nothing wrong with having these feelings. You’re smart, beautiful, strong, and fearless. You also have a soft side that doesn’t want to be in control all the time. Think about it for a moment,” he said, clasping his hands together and leaning forward in the chair to look at her. “Did it cross your mind why you didn’t feel it was strange that I spanked you the first time? Or that we both were so turned on by it that we fucked like bunnies for hours afterward? Don’t shrug. Answer me.”
“I really don’t know. You were the first man I’ve ever been with. You’re also the only man.”
“Are you saying that after we broke up, you haven’t been with anyone else? Why?”
It was difficult for her to meet his gaze. “Because you’re the only one I’ve ever wanted. Ever since I can remember, I’ve had a huge crush on you, but you always treated me like a kid sister. I tried flirting with you a couple of times, but you were oblivious to it, so the only way I could get your attention was to get in your face.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I was afraid you’d reject me. When I found out you got married, I was so jealous, and all the self-doubt came back. You didn’t want me, and it hurt.”
Quint ran his fingers through his hair. “I wish I would have known. I don’t know, maybe if I wasn’t so afraid of crossing that line with your dad, I would have paid closer attention to the signals.”
“It didn’t matter. You were in love with someone else.”
“No, Lis, that’s where you’re wrong. I thought I loved my ex, but how I felt about her was completely different than my feelings for you. You stopped being a kid sister to me on the day you graduated from college, but I believed you were off limits because of your dad.”
“I think Papa would have loved to see us together. He was heartbroken when we split up.”
“I know that now. Sometimes even I need to be smacked upside the head with a baseball bat to make me pay attention to the things around me. Tor’i constantly whispered in my ear about how much he’d love for me to be a permanent member of the family, but I never put two and two together.”
“You had your chance and blew it, remember?” She looked sad.
“I know you don’t understand why I froze when the subject of marriage came up. I was in love with you, but was so afraid of messing things up. My divorce really screwed with my head. I gave everything I had to that woman and it wasn’t enough. It took me a while to realize that I never would have been able to give her enough because you were always in the back of my mind.”
“Did you bother to tell that to all the women you screwed after you were done with me?”
Quint winced. “Why do you insist on making these low blows? For your information, there haven’t been any other women since I was with you.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s too late now. We need to go to work,” Lis blustered as she rushed out of the room. Quint didn’t follow her. Her sudden change in behavior confused him. Perhaps she needed some time to sort out the spoken, and unspoken, truth about their relationship. He knew he did.
The following week was either spent in uncomfortable silence or awkward conversation. Lis still refused to take time off work, insisting that she needed something to occupy her mind after her father’s death. Quint conceded under the condition she remain on desk duty for a couple of weeks to give her time to grieve. Instead of arguing, she simply nodded and sat in silence in her office. He wasn’t the only one worried about her. The men were constantly invading his office with questions and concerns. He was able to see the depth of loyalty and affection his men had for one another, and their feelings included Lis. He felt honored to be accepted as one of them.
After Brady barged into his office in a panic, Quinn knew he had to make a move and tear down the wall.
“We can’t keep going on like this, Lis. It’s been eight days since we really talked about anything,” he said on the way home. “The unit knows something’s up. Some of the guys, including your pain in the ass partner, think you’re sick. He came to me this afternoon and is sick with worry. Apparently, he said something to the effect that he should drive once you’re back on the streets, and you agreed.”
“I don’t care who drives. What’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is that we both know why you’re acting like this. We both know you want to give us a second chance, so why are you fighting it?”
Lis turned her head to look at him. “Why? Because I can’t trust you to stay once this arrangement is done. You have your house in LA and another on the Big Island. You can transfer anywhere you want after you’ve fulfilled your duty to my father.”
“What can I do to prove that you can trust me? Damn it, Lis, I love you. I’ve always loved you and I always will. I know you love me, too, but you’re too scared to admit it. I get it, okay? I’m not going to beg you to be with me, no matter how much I want you. If you don’t want me around, just say the word and I’ll stay on my side of the house until I know you’re taken care of, but I’m not leaving. You need to tell me what you want.”
“I don’t know anymore. My life’s been turned upside down. Again. And you’re in the center of it. Again.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know. I just need space for a while.”
“When we get home, go sit in your tree house for a bit. I’ll bring you dinner.”
“I’ll pass on the dinner. One of us really needs to learn how to cook.”
Quint raised an eyebrow. Her flat affect and lack of commitment continued to confuse him, yet she was sending mixed messages. Patience wasn’t his strong point, and he was tired of playing games. “Does that mean you want me to hang around?”
“As you said before, you’re nice eye candy.”
“If I can find cooking classes, would you want to go with me?”
“I’ll think about it.”
Even though she hadn’t refused, he still felt dismissed. There was nothing that could be done at this juncture except to wait.
I’m leading him on. There’s nothing left between us. Why am I the only one who sees that? Lis thought to herself as she watched the waves lap the shore. She frowned as she heard the front door chime echo through the house. Except for Brady, no one came to her home without calling first, and he never rang the doorbell. She scurried down the rope and walked into the house.
“What the fuck? Mom?”
Before her stood an older, mirror image of herself rapidly fanning herself with a paper and lace oriental fan. Behind her stood Quint, arms crossed and eyes dark with anger.
“Hello, darling! My, my, you’ve grown to be quite the looker, haven’t you? Tell your puppy to go outside so we can have a nice, private little chat.”
Mouth hanging open, Lis looked at Quint. “What’s she doing here?”
“She’s trying to claim ownership of the house and your dad’s assets.”
“What? Are you crazy?” Lis’ attention shifted again to her mother. “You’ve been out of my life for nineteen years and you think you can just waltz into my house and take it from me?”
“Darling, you don’t understand. Your father made me leave because he was in love with someone else.”
“You fucking, lying bitch!” The old Lis emerged, fists clenched, and eyes shooting daggers at the woman in front of her who didn’t even have the decency to flinch. “I heard what you said the day you left. I read the letter Papa hid from me. You know, the one where you demanded he pay you alimony and wanted compensation for ruining your body by having me.”
“You’re just a child and have no way to understand the complications of adulthood. Don’t take it personally, dear. I didn’t want to have children and your father forced himself on me.”
Quint positioned himself between Lis and her mother. “You can stop right there, Mrs. Jones. I will not tolerate you disrespecting either Lis or the memory of a man who did nothing but good for the people he loved. I’m not her puppy, either. You don’t remember me, do you? Quinton Moore? The kid you called trailer trash and accused of smuggling drugs into your house.”
“Ah, yes. You’re the one who made my husband drain my bank account to keep out of jail.”
“Your husband reached out to help maneuver a kid in the right direction.”
“Don’t address my father as your husband. You lost that right when you divorced him,” Lis added with a hiss.
“Divorced?” The woman laughed. “We never divorced, sweetheart. Everything he has belongs to me. I’ve already hired a probate lawyer.”
“What? Quint?”
He nodded. “Unfortunately, she’s telling the truth. They never divorced and a beach front house on Kauai is worth a fortune. Even though he inherited this property through your grandparents, he knew that the minute he passed away, she’d show up to claim it.”
Lis was speechless. “They’re still married? That’s impossible. Papa would have said something.”
“She refused to sign the papers and has contested every appeal. We wanted to protect you. You know the type of person your mother is and already have been hurt enough by her. Your dad didn’t want to give you false hope.”
“Hope for what? I haven’t heard from her since I was a little kid. You saw the letter.” Her lower lip trembled. “It said having me was the biggest mistake of her life and she didn’t want me stealing her freedom.”
Quint glared at the older woman who continued to fan herself as she walked around the large, open living room. “Your mother isn’t someone your dad trusted to be alone with you which was one reason he moved back to the islands. You know he lived here as a boy.”
“Yeah, he was a military brat. So?”
“He originally owned my house. After convincing me to transfer here and pulling the strings to land me a promotion to detective, he sold the house to me at a price I couldn’t refuse as a wedding gift. I thought it would be a perfect spot to raise a family, so I accepted his generosity. I was going to surprise the Ex with it, but she blindside me before I said anything. Fortunately, Tor’i was able to pull the place out of escrow before I officially owned it. He quick claimed it to me once my divorce was final. That’s when he decided to protect this property as well.”
