Authentically izzy, p.5
Authentically, Izzy, page 5
Chapter 4
Text from Josephine to Izzy, Penelope, and Luke: Get the blue AND pink ready! We’re having both!!
Izzy: I am so excited to welcome a niece and nephew into the family! With over ten years of children’s books experience, can you imagine how well-read they’ll be by the time I finish with them?
Izzy: Just curious . . . have you ever read Keats?
From: Penelope Edgewood
To: Izzy Edgewood
Date: March 10
Subject: Sweaters
I had no idea how many university boys wear hand-knit sweaters until Blighty mentioned them in his note. I see them everywhere. Mostly from the English majors, but they do add a sense of prestige—except for the ones that have the furry look to them. My nose starts itching just thinking about them.
I wonder why I’d never noticed them before.
I adore sweaters on Ben, the guy who is playing Professor Higgins. He wears them well. But he’s only interested in dating leading ladies, not flower girls. I feel certain he’s meant for Hollywood.
Penelope
PS: Have you seen a photo of him yet? That would certainly help us with uncovering his age. Though Maria von Trapp and the Captain worked through their age difference well, age gaps seem to work better in a historical setting when war is involved.
From: Izzy Edgewood
To: Penelope Edgewood
Date: March 10
Subject: Re: Sweaters
Dear Cousin,
The only photo I’ve seen is his profile photo on Heart-to-Heart, but it won’t give you any real information. He’s wearing a furry winter hat that covers his hair, dark sunglasses, and a coat that looks as though he’s getting ready to go on an Alaskan adventure. His smile is nice, though. Happy. And he has light eyebrows, which makes me think his hair may be fair (or gray, but I refuse to let my imagination venture too far in the sweet, bookish elderly gentleman direction).
The photo he was referring to was of his puppy, Argos, who is quite adorable and looks like he needs to be wrestled into a cuddle about a hundred times a day.
I’m afraid to like his owner too much since I’m still not certain he’s real. But he has an excellent sense of humor and I’m tempted to respond to his notes too quickly.
Izzy
PS: I am attending a seminar tonight at the community college for people interested in a business degree. I’m going to attempt to wear a welcoming smile, along with my fastest running shoes.
From: Penelope Edgewood
To: Izzy Edgewood
Date: March 10
Subject: Imaginary boyfriends
Being “unreal” has never stopped you from liking men before. Most of your boyfriends have been fictional, if I remember right. Or at least the ones you liked the best.
I had an unhealthy crush on Harry Potter when I was younger, to the point I even turned down a perfectly good date with a boy who resembled Ron more than Harry. It is a lifelong regret.
Penelope
* * *
Heart-to-Heart
Date: March 10
Izzy (If that is your nickname, what is your given name?),
I’ve adjusted my profile photo, but as you can see, the amount of fur I have on my winter hat makes me resemble Argos more than I thought. You may prefer the dog.
No apology is necessary. From the repeated mentions of Josie and matchmaking in your previous note, I deduced the problem and am happy to clarify your points. I am not Josie, have never been married or pregnant (though I am not averse to the first, I feel the second an impossible feat for me), and have rarely dabbled in the art of matchmaking, since I have such a difficult time finding a match myself. (Please note a previous message referring to my pun problem and/or chronic shyness.)
If I recall correctly, Farmer Maggot made quite a few threats of sending his dogs after garden poachers, so I do believe hobbits have dogs. Whether they are miniature dogs to fit the size of their owners or not I cannot say, but I feel certain Tolkien would oblige us, if he could.
Argos is indeed an English shepherd and despite his proclivity for destroying my footwear, he has the best personality, allowing my two-year-old nephew all sorts of liberties of ear-pulling and tail-catching Gandalf would never have permitted. Gandalf was an Irish wolfhound. In fact, his appearance reminded me a great deal of the wizard, though I never succeeded in getting him to wear a pointy hat. I am attaching a photo of Gandalf for your reference. If you find a friend for Samwise, you must name him Frodo. I don’t see how you can do anything else. As for the breed, anything with hairy feet and a determined jaw should fit the mark, don’t you think?
And, as to your comment regarding “speaking nonsense to a stranger,” I’ve not felt as though you are a stranger since our first communication. There is something immediately comfortable in meeting another avid reader. A companionship of words and shared worlds that I find difficult to emulate with nonreaders. So let’s say you were “speaking nonsense to a friend” and go on from there. In an effort to secure that friendship idea, I will clarify even more.
My name is Brodie Callum Sutherland, though in my part of the world the surname is sometimes spelled in its Gaelic form, Sutharian. I’m thirty-four and am a business owner on Skymar, an island country that has been a part of England, Scotland, and the Netherlands at one point in time or another. We are considered a constitutional monarchy now and are keen on celebrating and poking fun at our royal families as avidly as most places with royal families do.
The mountains near my home are called the Alnors and they resemble your round-topped Blue Ridge Mountains when not covered in snow. My family owns a growing business of which my eldest brother, Anders, and I are business partners, but our mother proves the real head of things, as mothers have a tendency to be.
I have two younger sisters. Isla, who is married and has two young children, and Fiona, who is only thirteen and would have put your “verbal tirade” to shame. I am not fond of coffee but am ridiculously attached to tea and Victorian sponge cake. I usually enjoy walks, but Argos is trying to turn me into a runner. I prefer the lifestyle of a hobbit in that regard. I live outside of one of the most popular cities on our island, but that is not an impressive size, and prefer the country space to a crowded town, though I enjoy visiting cities.
There you have it, a rather unimpressive overview, if I do say so myself, but my brain is of admirable soundness, the landscape out my windows is some of the best, and my family proves even better.
Your turn,
Brodie
PS: “It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.” (I’ll let you guess where this quote originates.)
From: Izzy Edgewood
To: Penelope Edgewood, Luke Edgewood
Date: March 11
Subject: I know nothing
Maybe Josie IS as conniving as I previously thought.
I’m forwarding Brodie’s newest message. He’s too perfect. How can he be a real person?
A single, thirtysomething, book-loving, humorous, foreign man? I think he may have hit every check mark on my internal wish list that I’ve only ever mentioned to God! Not even Santa!
(Okay, I didn’t have “pun problem” on the list, but that just makes him cuter!)
And . . . “speaking nonsense to a friend”? Lord, help me!
I’m terrified of what this means if I . . . really introduce myself? If I . . . care? And then it all turns out to be another instance of me falling head over sneakers, and instead of reciprocal twitterpation, I am being used for someone’s personal gain that has nothing to do with happily ever after.
He lives an eight-hour flight away. On an island. Between Scotland and the Netherlands. They have almost five months of winter there! And from what Google says, 30 percent of the population speak some weird combination of Gaelic, English . . . Nordic something-or-other called Caedric. And, what else? In their northern mountains there are still isolated towns of folks from Scottish descent who only speak Gaelic. (I can’t do languages!! You all remember tenth grade French class?)
And Brodie loves The Lord of the Rings. My favorite book and movie series of all time.
I feel as though someone in the universe is laughing at me right now.
Izzy
PS: Even with the Alaskan fur headgear and a rosy nose, he has a very nice smile. Smiles say a lot about a person.
From: Luke Edgewood
To: Izzy Edgewood, Penelope Edgewood
Date: March 11
Subject: I know everything
Clearly, he isn’t perfect. He doesn’t like coffee. I think you can do better.
Also, didn’t you used to teach ESL classes at the library?
Luke
PS: Please never use the word twitterpation in a note to me again. My eye starts twitching.
PPS: The Joker’s smile certainly tells a lot about him.
From: Izzy Edgewood
To: Penelope Edgewood, Luke Edgewood
Date: March 11
Subject: Re: I know nothing
Of course, anyone can sound perfect. Actually being perfect is another matter altogether, but he does sound too good to be true.
And I STILL teach ESL classes at the library! Twice a month! So . . . maybe languages aren’t so scary, if they are visible. And not taught by a woman who tried to teach “southern fried French.”
Maybe Brodie is a secret service person looking into my history and life!! Think about the coincidences in him listing out my hopes and dreams here, Luke! It’s unnerving. I’m pretty sure God doesn’t speak to a ton of people in the government. Especially about thirty-year-old single women’s romantic aspirations.
It’s terrifying to actually believe Brodie IS exactly who he seems to be. Trust is so hard.
Irrational Izzy
From: Izzy Edgewood
To: Penelope Edgewood, Luke Edgewood
Date: March 11
Subject: Re: I know everything
Luke,
I see. You wanted me to confess things on paper. Aren’t you smart? I hate you.
Izzy
From: Penelope Edgewood
To: Izzy Edgewood, Luke Edgewood
Date: March 11
Subject: Re: I know everything
Why are we always so surprised when God gives us something we’ve been praying for? It’s like we don’t believe He’s actually listening.
Penelope
From: Luke Edgewood
To: Izzy Edgewood, Penelope Edgewood
Date: March 12
Subject: Re: I know everything
I think that’s the wisest thing Penelope has ever said. I’m glad we have it in writing.
Luke
From: Penelope Edgewood
To: Izzy Edgewood, Luke Edgewood
Date: March 12
Subject: Re: I know everything
Luke,
I say a great deal of wise things, but you are not at my college to hear them.
PS: I would like to take issue with the subject line that “Luke knows everything.” For one, he was no good at choosing Christmas presents for his youngest sister. That color of yellow looks atrocious on redheads. And I’d never wear a feathered stole, except that one time when I had to stand in for Miss Hannigan in Annie.
From: Luke Edgewood
To: Izzy Edgewood, Penelope Edgewood
Date: March 12
Subject: It’s a hard-knock life for you
Luke
From: Josephine Martin
To: Izzy Edgewood
Date: March 12
Subject: Changes?
Izzy,
Have you been exercising? I think those hikes are benefiting you. Your eyes beamed in church this morning while you were singing. And were you wearing a new dress? Green, even? Izzy, what is going on with you? Steve hasn’t mentioned any more dates, and believe me, I’ve asked Patrick about it on a regular basis.
Thank you for the little package of chewable books. I had no idea they made chewable classics! You had to have purchased the entire inventory, Izzy!
By the way, Donovan from church was asking about you today. I think he recently broke up with his girlfriend and is now officially free again. Didn’t you date him once or twice? Maybe it’s time for a second chance? He likes movies. And church. And I’ve even seen him at the library a time or two.
Josephine
PS: Keats? I’ve heard of the name. Is he one of the children’s book authors you love? You keep recommending books for me to purchase for the babies, but I can’t remember them all.
From: Izzy Edgewood
To: Josephine Martin
Date: March 12
Subject: Re: Changes?
Josie,
I looked for a chewable Bible but couldn't find one. It seemed appropriate to purchase since somewhere, if I recall, we are supposed to be chewing on the Word of God. I thought the babies could start early.
They had chewable pizzas for babies as well, but I figured that would be too cruel.
Izzy
PS: Donovan is not for me. If you recall, he has difficulty with the word monogamous.
PPS: Never mind about Keats. He’s a poet. I forgot that you are allergic to poets.
* * *
Heart-to-Heart
Date: March 12
Brodie,
Thank you for clarifying so much about yourself while also inspiring many more questions. An unimpressive introduction? How can you even think it? A loving family, a beautiful view, and a plethora of books! You are rich with treasures, and to have all three at once? Impressive isn’t a strong enough word. Fortunate? Blessed?
I am glad to learn that you are not my cousin Josie, though I only have your word and a rather unidentifiable photo to go on. Actually, you are much wittier and well-read than Josie, so that does help your argument. Plus, the simple fact you not only get my Lord of the Rings references but make your own, is another factor against you being Josie. She still confuses hobbits and dwarves and thinks The Lord of the Rings are Christmas movies because they feature elves and a man with a white beard and pointy hat.
Matchmaking has never been my forte either. As a child, I couldn't even get a pair of pet rabbits to like one another, so why would I ever attempt humans? And matching socks? It’s a lost cause.
I love the notion of finding comfort and immediate kinship in another reader. It’s so true. But not just any reader will do. Readers with a certain measure of appreciation and respect create a stronger kinship than your fair-weather readers. I can’t say I’ve ever known such an immediate friendship on such short acquaintance as this one, but it may be in part due to the fact we met online and all of the awkward “in-person-ness” that accompanies so many of my disastrous blind dates is conveniently absent. For example, how often would you say you use the suffix “itis” in conversations?
My great-grandmother met her future husband through correspondence (not that we are on that trajectory, of course), but she said writing allowed them to get to know “one another as souls first.” There’s something both daunting and beautiful about that sentiment.
So in the spirit of our kinship, I’ll share a little more about me, though my information truly will be unimpressive.
My name is Isabelle Louisa Edgewood, a name I’ve always felt I could never live up to. Izzy fits much better. Isabelle Edgewood sounds as though I should be the lady of the manor or an author of some regency novel. Izzy Edgewood fits the quiet librarian that I am. I live in the small town of Mt. Airy, North Carolina, at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains. In fact, if I stand in a certain spot on the sidewalk in front of my house, I can place one foot in Virginia and one foot in North Carolina, effectively being two places at once.
My uncle Herman and my aunt Louisa (after whom I’m named) took me in when my parents died, so their three children are like siblings to me. My aunt is the lead librarian at our local library, a place I’ve worked for eight years after fumbling through college and finally ending with a double major in library science and British literature. My uncle is a semi–well-known owner of a massive furniture store company known as Amwurst’s. Doesn’t that name just flow off the tongue?
I am not ashamed to admit that I’m almost as avid a movie watcher as I am a reader . . . but remember, I said “almost.” I’m thirty, love keeping my feet warm, and am horrible at small talk. I’m not unkind, I don’t think, but I just don’t say a lot unless I feel I have something to contribute, and even then I have to feel extremely compelled to speak my mind.
In fact, if Josie could see how much I’ve shared with you, she’d likely fall over in shock.
As you see, my adult life has been rather unimpressive and . . . predictable. Hmm . . . I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it that way before and I’m not certain how I feel about the revelation.
Sincerely,
Izzy
PS: Tolkien has the best quotes, doesn’t he? Here is an excellent one for perusal. “Never laugh at live dragons.”
From: Izzy Edgewood
To: Penelope Edgewood, Luke Edgewood
Date: March 12
Subject: I still know nothing
What am I doing? If Brodie the Hobbit lives on the other side of the world, why am I encouraging any sort of . . . anything with him? Whatever this anything may be? Why would I invest my emotions in a relationship in which one of the two of us would have to move away? He seems close to his family. I’m certainly and devotedly close to mine. It’s ridiculous really.
Did I mention he lives on an island? On the other side of the world! That requires travel. Usually flying.
Why am I even concerned? I sound as if this is the right hobbit for me, when there’s been NO talk of romance between the two of us. I should stop writing him.
