The earth and the flame, p.19
The Earth and the Flame, page 19
She’s wound so tightly that it only takes a few strokes of my tongue and she’s screaming my name. Her whole body shakes, her fingers digging into the bed. But I don’t stop. I have to keep tasting her, and I hold her greedily to my face, not letting her go.
“Yeah,” she moans, “again. Again.”
Her hands feather over her peaked nipples, those perfect breasts rising and falling with every quivering breath. She moans as her eyes meet mine. The high flush on her cheeks is so beautiful, and her lower lip trembles.
“Tal, oh fuck, oh god.” The last word is lost as her thighs begin to quake. Her eyes stay on me, drawing me in, keeping me right there with her.
Just as she whimpers I push a finger inside her, and then she’s pulsing around me, against me, making a sound almost like a sob as she comes.
I keep licking until a jerk of her hips tells me to stop, and I release her gently, placing her ass on the bed, my fingers caressing her thighs.
Her chest jerks as she tries to catch her breath, and seeing her spread out like this, in a mess because of me, because of my mouth - it’s intoxicating.
“Come here,” she says.
I crawl over her, and her legs wrap around my waist, drawing me down so my cock throbs against her. She kisses me hungrily, her fingers spearing through my hair. A slight adjustment of her hips and I slide inside her, groaning into her mouth.
I’ve never needed anyone like this. No one’s ever understood what I fucking need like this - least of all me. But as she gazes up at me, as she moans, as I feel her body against me, against all of me, everything slips into sharp focus. I’m surrendering everything to her, every part of me. And it’s perfection.
I thrust into her, and her thighs tighten around me.
“Slowly,” she murmurs, “I want you to take your time with me.”
It’s agonizing and beautiful at the same time. Her hands are still in my hair, her mouth nipping at mine as she gasps. Her hips roll gently under me, meeting my strokes, letting me sink to the hilt into her heat. Consuming me. Everything about this consumes me.
Her eyes squeeze shut, her back arching under me. I press my lips to her throat, tasting her sweat and her scent. Her hips rock harder against me, and those sobs break from her again. Her body shakes gently, and I feel her pussy fluttering around my cock.
She’s breathing heavy as I keep moving, and it takes all my willpower to keep this pace. I bite my lip as she gazes up at me, trying to focus on her. She pulls me back down to her, kissing me, her little moans meeting my mouth. She’s slick with sweat, searing hot and trembling.
She wraps her arms around me as I start to shiver against her, feeling that heat in my groin, so good and unbearable at the same time. Her breathing is ragged against my ear, and I clutch her to me, letting her warmth envelop me as I shudder and release deep inside her.
Her fingers caress my back as I subside, gently playing with my hair. She moves one hand to stroke my cheek with the backs of her fingers, and for some insane reason tears spring to my eyes. It’s such a small action, but it’s so tender, so filled with care.
No one’s ever cared for me like this.
“That was incredible,” she whispers, running her lips along my jaw. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” I rise up onto my elbows, looking down at her, looking into those beautiful brown eyes. “I feel like you know more about me than I know about myself.”
She giggles and strokes my cheek softly. “I’m a pretty good judge of character.” She leans up and plants a quick kiss on my lips. “Your whole life you’ve had to look after everyone, you’ve had to bear this burden, my love. You deserve to be looked after now.”
“And punished too, huh?” I smile at her.
“Yes, when you have been very bad.” She draws me back down to her and kisses me, slowly. “But even the punishment seemed to please you.”
“Everything you do pleases me.”
She laughs out loud. “Careful my love, that’s a very high standard to hold.” She takes a hold of my chin, lifting an eyebrow. “Now, you’re going to take me to the shower and do a very good job of cleaning me up.”
A shower is just a shower, it shouldn’t be anything special. But this feels sacred, like I’m somehow worshiping her, trying to please her. I stand behind her under the hot water and she tilts her head as I lather her hair. I massage her scalp with my fingertips, and she groans softly.
“Have I ever told you how much I love your hands?”
“I had a pretty good idea.”
“Well, I love your hands.” She lets me rinse the shampoo from her hair and leans back against my chest, turning her face to nuzzle into the crook of my neck. “I love all of you. So big, so strong.”
I wrap my arms around her waist, holding her to me, and a sensation settles into my chest that I don’t think I’ve ever felt before. I’m content. I feel whole, and seen, deeply content. It’s foreign, but it’s nice.
I kiss her temple and move to turn off the taps. “Come on, let’s get you dried off. We should try and get some sleep.”
We dry off and head to bed, neither of us in the mood to wear anything that would stop us feeling each other’s skin. We lie down together, her back to me at first, but she quickly flips over so she can nuzzle those soft lips into the crook of my neck.
“You smell so good,” she says with a sigh, her fingertips brushing against my chest. “This is definitely my favourite place to be.
I trace delicate kisses along her forehead, breathing her in. “I wouldn’t want you to be anywhere else.”
Her warmth is almost overwhelming, and my eyes become heavy quickly. Within minutes her breathing deepens, and she’s asleep. I hold her a little closer, as I drift off, sure, for the first time in my life, that I’ll never go to sleep alone again.
17
Tallesaign
Amryn and Cora are standing on the doorstep the next morning, smiling widely.
“Good morning,” Amryn says brightly, “did you make the Old God angry?”
Cora looks at me with a heavy sigh and rolls her eyes.
“We did!” Juno calls from the kitchen table, and Amryn bursts out laughing.
“You two are such squares,” he says, looking from me to Cora.
I shake my head and laugh, stepping aside to let them in. “You two want coffee?”
“We were actually wondering if you and Juno wanted to come for a walk with us?” Cora tucks her hands into the pockets of her coat. “Phoenix wants to go sledding and build a snowman, do you two want to come?”
“Oh that sounds wonderful!” Juno rises to her feet, smiling widely as I look over my shoulder at her. “We would love to!”
“Great.” Amryn takes Cora’s hand and pulls her along the porch. “We’ll meet you over at our cabin then.”
“Sure thing.” I wave them off as I close the door.
Juno sidles over to me and puts her arms around my neck, kissing me gently. “A proper day with the family,” she says, gazing up at me. “I feel like a part of it now.”
“Yeah, you and my brother making sex jokes, you two are going to get on just fine.” I stroke her chin with my thumb.
She throws her head back and laughs, and fuck I love it when she does that. I pull her into my arms and kiss her neck, and she puts her hands against my chest with a giggle.
“They are waiting for us. You will have to wait until later to devour me again.”
“Is that a promise?” I growl against her neck.
“Oh yes,” she says with a sigh, “that I can promise you.”
We finally tear ourselves away from each other long enough to get dressed, and head outside to meet Amryn and Cora. Phoenix is dressed in his funny little pointy hood again, all bundled up on his sled, his cheeks and nose bright red from the cold.
“Uncy Tal!” He raises his gloved hands into the air. “We gonna sled downa big hill?”
“We sure are, buddy.” I walk over to take the guide rope attached to the front of the sled. “Come on, let’s get you moving, huh?”
Cora walks alongside me and I look over my shoulder to see Amryn and Juno walking together, talking and laughing. Phoenix is humming along to himself, and the sky above is overcast but bright.
“Nice day, huh?” Cora says after a moment.
“Yeah, a real nice day.”
She looks up at me with a smile. “You know when you’re happy I can feel it too, right? Just like how you can with me?”
I nod. “I figured as much.”
“Since Juno came I feel a whole lot of happy coming from you,” she says with a chuckle. “All kinds of happy.”
I suppress a laugh as my cheeks burn. “Well, this isn’t awkward at all.” I give her a side glance. “So I take it you and Amryn had a good night last night too then, huh?”
Cora laughs quietly. “Like he needs any encouragement.”
We both look over our shoulders when we hear Juno shriek, and Amryn has thrown her over his shoulder and is running towards a snow drift with her. There’s a flurry of white as he dumps her in it, and Amryn ducks as Juno starts throwing snow at him.
Cora giggles and shakes her head. “They’re like the same person,” she says, and then looks back up at me. “You and me, her and him. No wonder we ended up with them, huh?”
“Guess we both got good taste, kiddo.”
Juno and Amryn are throwing snowballs at each other now, and Phoenix leaps off the sled to go and join them.
“Come help me, buddy!” Amryn calls, but Phoenix picks up a handful of snow and tosses it at his father. Amryn puts a hand to his forehead theatrically, and clutches his chest. “My own son!” He exclaims, sinking to his knees. “My own son has betrayed me!”
Phoenix laughs out loud and launches himself at his father, and hearing my brother and his son laugh so loudly makes my chest swell. I turn to see Cora gazing at me with that dreamy look again.
“What?” I ask.
“When am I going to be an aunty, huh?” She shoves me gently in the chest with her shoulder.
“An aunty?” I laugh incredulously. “Getting a little ahead of yourself there, don’t you think?”
She shrugs. “Nope. It’s meant to be.”
I don’t want to admit to the warm feeling that spreads through my body at the thought. It’s as crazy as everything else is about this situation, about having this connection to a person I’ve only known for a short time.
I know that I want to be with Juno, forever. And it’s more than just knowing - I feel it. Deep in my soul. I get what Amryn always talked about now, how he feels about Cora. It’s more than love. It’s meant to be. And maybe having a family together will be a part of that.
Cora’s still looking at me when I gaze back down at her. “I told you, you’re allowed to want the things you want. You deserve it.”
I nod quickly, then gesture to her belly. “I never congratulated you by the way.”
Her hand flutters to her stomach, and she shrugs. “Oh, yeah. Thank you. I still can’t believe it.”
“Amryn’s probably thrilled, huh?”
“Yeah.” She lowers her eyes to the snow, an awkward smile pasted on her face. “Yeah, he can’t wait, he’s excited.”
I lower my head a little, trying to catch her gaze. “And you?”
Her eyes flash back up to mine, and she shakes her head quickly. “Oh no, I am, I really am. It’s just…” She wraps her arms across her body. “I’m just scared. What this whole thing will mean for her, what she’ll have to face, you know?”
“She’ll be OK.” I step closer to put my arm around Cora’s shoulders. “She has you, and her Dad, and all of us, OK?” I put a tentative hand on her belly, and she clasps her own hand over it. “We’re all together, OK? You don’t have to be scared.”
Cora leans her head against my shoulder and nods. “I know. I know. I think some days I still can’t get it all straight in my head. What this all means.”
“I know, honey.” I squeeze her shoulders and kiss the top of her head. “We’re all still figuring this stuff out.”
We stand and watch Amryn and Juno play with Phoenix in the snow, their laughter echoing through the forest around us. Phoenix turns and gestures to me excitedly.
“Uncy Tal, we build a snowman?” He calls.
I nod with a smile. “Sure thing buddy.” I look down at Cora. “Come on, let’s enjoy the day, huh? Got to celebrate the fact I’m going to have a niece to carry around soon.”
Cora rolls her eyes as we start walking. “Oh god, she is going to be so spoiled, between you and her daddy.”
“She sure as hell will be.”
The morning flies by amidst building snowmen and running up and down hills with Phoenix. I keep looking over at Juno and feeling a deep sense of being complete. She really was the missing piece in all of this, for me at least. And every time she smiles back at me, my breath catches a little bit. Holy shit I’ve got it bad.
After a few hours, everyone is suitably frozen through and Phoenix passes out on the sled. We decide to head back, Amryn pulling the sled behind him as he sidles along with his arm draped around Cora. Juno and I follow, my arm around her.
“That was fun,” she says, leaning against me.
“Yes it was.”
She gives me a sideways glance and grins. “Do you want to have children?”
I try not to be too enthusiastic about the fact that she’s asking me this question. I clear my throat and shrug. “Yeah, I’d like to have some. How about you?”
“If they're all as sweet as that little boy,” she says, looking ahead at Phoenix, who is sleeping soundly as he’s ferried across the snow, “I want at least ten.”
I laugh and kiss her temple. “Maybe we’ll start with one and see, huh?”
“Start?” Her eyebrows shoot up. “Now?”
“You… You wanna start now?” I ask.
“I was asking if you do.” She grins. “Although with how the last few nights have been perhaps it is too late to question that, hmm?”
I flush a little. “Yeah, maybe.” I clear my throat. “I guess it wasn’t very responsible of me to just, uh -”
“Oh stop it,” she interjects, nuzzling into me. “I wasn’t much better.” Her brown eyes are soft as she smiles up at me. “Let us see what happens, yes? Perhaps we will have our own little one before we know it.”
God fucking dammit, why do those words send butterflies rushing through my stomach? I’m insane. We’re both insane. But then… if we’re that deeply connected, does it matter?
We reach Cora and Amryn’s cabin, and Amryn sweeps Phoenix up into his arms. “Let’s get this little guy off for a nap,” he says softly.
“Why don’t you two come over for lunch once he’s down?” I say.
“Sure, Ebony and Liall can sit with him,” Cora says with a nod. “We’ll be right over.”
They head inside, and Juno and I sidle back to my cabin, our arms still around each other. I help her out of her coat inside and she shivers. The fire has died down and it’s a little cold inside.
“Come on, I’ll get that fire going.” I strip off my own coat and kick off my boots before I head for the fire, stoking up the glowing embers and throwing more logs on, which begin to crackle instantly.
Juno curls up on the couch behind me. “Tell me about your parents. What were they like?”
I stoke the logs a little, watching the flames lick up the sides of the splintered wood. I turn and sit on the ground with a sigh. “They were… complicated.” I shrug when I meet her confused gaze. “My Mom was… she was sweet, but she was weak. She didn’t stand up for me, and whatever my Dad said, well, those were the rules. And she didn’t go against those no matter what it meant for me.”
Juno frowns. “I’m sorry, my love. If you don’t want to talk about this -“
“No, no,” I say with a wave of my hand. “No, it’s fine. I mean, it happened, you know? It’s my history. My Dad was… Ummm…” I swallow hard. “He was abusive. It took me a long time to say it, because, you know, I was a kid. It was my normal. But, uh, he was abusive. He beat the shit out of me whenever I put a toe out of line. It was so bad once that Rodelth, Cora’s dad, had to step in.”
Juno gasps. “Oh Tal.”
“Yeah.” There’s an unpleasant lump forming at the back of my throat. “I was 17, and this girl in the village, she was interested in me. I had to sleep out on the porch to protect Cora and Amryn, and then one night, this girl, she came to find me, and dragged me off to the barn. And we, you know…”
“Had sex?”
“Yeah, it was my first time.” I shrug. “I was nervous and excited, and it felt nice and all that kind of thing. She was really sweet and pretty. It was meant to be a special thing, you know? And then when I got back, my Dad was waiting for me, and he was furious. Beat the shit out of me. Broke my arm.”
Juno’s eyes flare. “He did what?” Her back straightens. “Tal, he did what?”
I nod. I haven’t ever really spoken about this before, and hearing the words come out of my mouth, I realize now just how fucked up it all was. And how no one protected me.
“At that point, Rodelth stepped in. Told my dad that it was too much, it wasn’t appropriate, and so on. My dad was just angry. Never apologized. Acted like I’d done the wrong thing.”
“And what did your mother do?”
I can’t help the bitter laugh that passes my lips. “Nothing. Like always. Nothing. Told me she had a fight with him, like that mattered. Like that made a fucking difference.” I pick up a splinter of wood from the pile and shred it in half, throwing the pieces in the grate. “His behavior never changed. Not til the day he died. Even though now, it would seem that the last thing he did was save my life. So…” I shrug. Another fucked up, complicated situation I’ll never have closure over.
Juno climbs down off the couch and crawls across the floor. She kneels in front of me and puts a hand to my cheek. “I am so sorry, my love. I know those words don’t help, but you must know you did not deserve the childhood you had.”
