The earth and the flame, p.9
The Earth and the Flame, page 9
“What the -”
“Baby?” Lorelei’s face emerges from the bed, squinting at me in the morning light.
“Hey, yeah it’s me.” I exhale heavily. “Sorry, you startled me.”
She blinks in the sudden onslaught of light. “I was waiting for you last night.” She yawns, rubbing her eyes. “Where were you?”
“You didn’t hear about what happened?” I ask her, pulling my sweater off over my head.
“I heard you found someone on Arax,” she replies, “and she was hurt real bad.”
“Yeah, she was, I mean, she is, but she’s feeling better today.” I pull on a pair of black pants and a long-sleeved black shirt. “She was scared, so I stayed with her.”
“You stayed with her?” Lorelei tilts her head and pouts. “What do you mean?” Her eyes are still sleepy, but open now and fixed on me.
I feel a twinge of guilt. No, not a twinge. A fucking mountain of guilt.
I don’t want to tell Lorelei I woke up with another woman in my arms, that she snuggled up to me, called me god knows what as she pressed her face against me. And I sure as fuck don’t want to own up to how nice it felt. I’m such an asshole.
“She was terrified, baby,” I say quickly. “She had nightmares and she just latched on to me. I didn’t want to leave her alone, so I slept on Ebony’s couch for the night.” I sit down on the bed and reach out to take her hand. “I’m sorry, I should have known you’d be waiting for me.”
“It’s OK.” She smiles at me, and climbs out of the comforter, wearing only panties. She climbs on top of me, holding my face in her hands, and plants a slow, tender kiss on my lips. “You’re a good man, Tal.”
And those words just make me feel even fucking worse. Right now I feel about as far from being a good man as possible.
“You’re beautiful,” I say, putting my hands on her back, and she’s all warm and inviting from being curled up in bed.
“Can you come back to bed?” She grinds her hips against me as she bites her lip.
“No, baby, the council’s waiting for me.” I stand up with her wrapped around me, placing a quick kiss on her forehead. “I’ll be back as soon as we’re done, OK?”
She pouts as I put her back down on the bed, but she lets me go. “OK, I’ll see you later then.” She watches me, propped up on her elbow, as I leave the room.
I hurry to the Great Hall, and I feel so fucking ashamed of myself. I don’t want to admit it, but it felt good to have Juno in my arms. When she curled up against me, pressed her lips against my neck - fuck. Stop it.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I shake my head at myself. It’s like cheating, isn’t it? No wonder Ebony was so shocked to see us like that.
Fucking asshole. Lorelei deserves better than this.
I don’t have any more time to wallow in self-hatred, as I walk into the Great Hall to find the council members flinging a million questions at Cora, too caught up in their own panic to listen to the pleas of their Queen to all stop talking at once.
The noise stops when I walk in, as glances are exchanged amid a brief silence. Then the questions start again, all being flung in my direction now, and at an even louder volume.
I hold my hands up. “Hey, everyone, this isn’t helpful,” I say, raising my voice to be heard over the noise. “You all need to stop, or I can’t answer anything you want to know.”
“The red smoke.” Hannigan, the oldest of the council members, stands up, his arms crossed over his chest. His face is a mass of wrinkles as he frowns at me. “The red smoke, what is it?”
“I don’t know,” I reply. “It smells like sulfur. It seems to just be volcanic activity.”
“Just.” Hannigan pulls a face as his tone becomes mocking. “Oh, just volcanic activity, nothing to worry about then!”
“I didn’t say that.” I resist the urge to be disrespectful and roll my eyes. “But I don’t know what’s causing the smoke.”
“So, why did you go up there?” Morag, one of the other elders, stands up and her bony finger darts in the direction of the door. “There’s talk that you’re linked to this, this thing you’ve brought back.”
“She’s not a thing,” I snap. “She’s an angel and she was badly hurt.”
“I won’t have an angel in this village!” Morag exclaims.
“Why ever not?” The voice comes from the doorway, and Zadkiel bends down to fit through, smiling widely at us all.
Morag sniffs loudly. “I meant no disrespect, Zadkiel,” she says quickly, “but this one, she’s not like you. We don’t know her.”
“From what I’m told she doesn’t know herself,” Zadkiel replies, walking slowly to my side and placing a heavy hand on my shoulder. “How are you, Tal?”
“I’m fine, thank you.”
Zadkiel cocks his head. “You look different.”
“Is this the time for small talk?” Hannigan throws his hands up in frustration.
“Oh, you demons are impatient,” Zadkiel says with a heavy sigh. “What exactly do you want to hear? That she’s a danger, that she’s here to burn the village to the ground? She couldn’t be here if she meant harm, you all know this.”
“With all the harm that we’ve had here, nothing would surprise me anymore!” Morag retorts. “The earthquakes, the serpents, the Purge. It’s all a warning, Zadkiel.”
Cora rubs her hands together, and nods. “Azrael told us Gabriel is trying to cause some trouble for us.”
Zadkiel scoffs. “Don’t pay him any heed, he’s nothing but a criminal. He has no support in the Halls, and the Old God has a close eye on him.”
“And what if he’s right?” Elias stands up from the back of the group, and I suppress the urge to throw him out.
“What are you doing here, Elias?” I ask him. “You’re not a council member.”
He crosses his arms over his chest, sneering at me defiantly. “I think the people of this village have a right to know what’s going on, and not through the filter of what all you fine people believe we have the right to know.”
“Are you accusing us of not telling the truth?” Cora asks him.
“I just want to hear things with my own ears, majesty.” Elias replies. Smug fucking bastard.
“Well, hear this,” Cora says, her voice taking on an icy edge. “I will never lie to you, and I will never keep anything from you, any of you, especially something important to the safety of Ocario.”
“Good.” Elias shrugs jovially. “So this one -“ He points at me, “won’t mind telling us what he saw up there and where he found this fallen angel.”
Zadkiel gives me a side glance and chuckles. “Floor is yours, dear.”
“There wasn’t much there,” I begin, shifting on my feet as everyone stares at me. “The red smoke, and silence.”
“Silence?” Morag asks.
“Yes, silence. Unearthly silence. It’s like someone has sucked all the sound out of the forest, like it’s suspended in some sort of other dimension. It was eerie.” I take a deep breath, knowing the next bit isn’t going to be received well. “And there are serpents. All over the peak.”
The council members exclaim loudly, chattering away over the top of each other. Elias looks far too pleased with the unrest exploding around him. Cora raises her hands, pleading for everyone to calm down, but they won’t listen.
I jump as Zadkiel lets out a high-pitched whistle, and he grins at me as he pulls his taloned fingers from between his lips. “Learned that watching baseball,” he says to me quietly, clearly pleased with himself. It’s worked - everyone’s shocked into silence. “Perhaps you’d all let Tallesaign finish what he has to say?” Zadkiel says. He gestures to me to keep talking.
I hate speaking in public, but I take another deep breath and continue on. “As I said, the peak is covered in serpents. But they weren’t anywhere else on the mountain, just up on that peak, in the red smoke.”
“Where did you find the angel?” Morag asks me.
“She was down in the forest. The forest seems to have a spell over it, there was no snow on the ground, and it was really dark.” I feel a shiver down my back as I remember the feeling in that forest. Eerie. Fucking weird. “She was badly injured. She was filthy and terrified.”
“Who put her there?” Hannigan asks.
“She doesn't remember,” I reply. “She doesn’t know anything. She knows her name and that’s it, nothing else.”
“She speaks Russian.” Ebony’s voice is small from the front of the group.
“She does?” The question slips out of me before I can think.
Ebony nods slowly. “Yes. I heard her - I heard her speak it this morning when -“ Her gaze darts away from me. She knows what Juno said to me.
“So, we have a mutilated Russian angel with amnesia who was retrieved from a snake-covered mountain and we’re supposed to be OK with this?” Elias laughs out loud.
“What exactly are you worried about?” Amryn asks him.
“The same thing I was worried about after the Purge,” Elias replies. “That this is all a sign that the Fates are unhappy with us, with the corruption going on in this village.”
Amryn sneers and rubs a hand across his mouth as he sidles up to Elias. “I think I warned you pretty clearly before what was going to happen if you ever said anything like that about my wife or my son, right?”
“I’m not afraid of you,” Elias says, puffing his chest out.
“No?” Amryn’s right in his face now. “You fucking should be.”
“What’re you gonna do, huh?”
Amryn rolls his shoulders, the muscles on his back rippling, and I know this isn’t going to end well. I step forward at the same time as Cora.
“Amryn, stop,” Cora says. “This isn’t helpful.”
“He’s just being an asshole,” I say.
Elias’s eyes widen as he looks at me, and his arms unfurl as he leaps forward to rush at me. Amryn slams his fists into Elias’s chest, and he hits the floor with a loud thud.
“You stay the fuck down,” Amryn says, pointing his finger at Elias. “And you threaten any of my family again, I will fucking end you.”
“You and your decrepit fucking family,” Elias hisses. “Your depraved fucking brother diddling little girls and -“
Amryn reaches down and seizes Elias by the collar. “What the fuck did you just say, you fucking asshole?”
“Amryn, stop.” I call out.
Zadkiel has his hands clutched to his mouth as he chuckles beside me.
“You’re sour that your daughter is fucking my brother, is that it?” Amryn asks with a laugh. “Your daughter, who’s a grown woman? That’s why you’re doing all this?”
“She’s half his age!” Elias’s face is purple with rage. “He’s old enough to be her father!”
Amryn lets him go, and Elias’s head strikes the floor. “You need to stop this, Elias.” Amryn says pointedly. He turns to look at Cora, and dips his head, walking to her side. “I’m sorry.”
Cora flashes him a look of mild irritation and shakes her head before she looks back at Elias.
“Elias, there’s no corruption here. There are strange things happening, yes, but fighting amongst ourselves won’t help. Causing unrest won’t help. We fought to have our home be safe, and I won’t let you destroy that peace.”
“He’s to stay away from Lorelei.” Elias jabs a finger in my direction.
“That’s up to your daughter to decide,” Cora says. “She’s an adult. If you have concerns about her choice of partner, then you discuss those with her, in private, not here at a council meeting where she’s not attending. Do you hear me?”
Elias gets to his feet, shaking his head. He huffs a little, but as he casts his eyes around the hall, his face flushes red, and he storms out without another word.
Morag gives herself a disgraced shake, and her face turns back to me. “If we’re quite done discussing what goes on in the bedrooms of this village, maybe we can get back to the matter of the fallen angel,” she says.
“What about her?” I ask.
“How has she survived?” Hanniagn asks. “They always die when they fall, and very quickly.”
“And if she’s fallen, it’s for a reason,” Morag says quickly. “Who knows what crimes she’s committed?”
“Hey.” All eyes turn to Amryn. “I don’t think any demon in this room is in a position to question anyone thrown from the Halls.”
Cora nods. “Exactly. I won’t label her a criminal for no good reason.”
“We don’t know a thing about her!” Hannigan exclaims. “She doesn’t remember a thing, who knows what she’s done!”
“Is there a way her memories can be retrieved?” Morag looks over at Elise. “Won’t they come back with healing?”
Elise shakes her head. “That’s not something we can heal. Whatever happened to her is terrible enough that her own mind is trying to protect her from it, and that’s a barrier I can’t overcome.”
“What about Fenella?” Morag asks. “She’s a witch, and she - well, we all know she knows things sometimes, things she can’t know.”
Elise holds up a hand. “I think we have to remember here that Juno is terrified, and was badly injured when she came here. I don't want to subject her to some form of memory retrieval that she may not be ready for.”
“Elise, we need to know.” Morag insists, and her eyes move back to me. “Tallesaign, she trusts you, is that right?”
I shift on my feet. “Sure, she seems to, but only because she’s afraid.” I’m intensely aware of Ebony’s eyes boring into me as I speak, and I avoid her gaze entirely, shame welling up inside me again. “I’m not going to try and talk Juno into anything she’s not ready for, just like Elise said. Her memories will come back. When she’s ready, when her mind’s ready.”
Hannigan throws his hands up. “Well, I guess there’s nothing else to discuss then. We’ll have to contact the scholars about the snakes on the mountain, and the silence up there.” He shakes his head as he gazes at Cora. “I don’t mean to be alarmist, but a part of me is pretty certain that none of this is good news.”
“We don’t know what it means.” Cora replies. “Until we do, there’s no point speculating and driving ourselves crazy.”
I know she’s trying to sound confident, but I can feel her apprehension. What part of this could possibly be good news? And what the fuck is going to hit us next?
9
Tallesaign
I sit bolt upright in bed, bathed in sweat. Gasping for air, the pressing weight on my chest dissipates slowly. Fuck. Fuck. I feel sick. I could hear Juno screaming again. She’s asleep in Liall and Ebony’s cabin, she’s fine. Right?
I reach down to check if Lorelei is still asleep, then I remember she’s not here.
Elias finally put his foot down after the council meeting and told Lorelei she wasn’t allowed to be with me. It was ridiculous, with lots of tears and yelling, but then finally Lorelei told me she’d go home and talk to him. I think we both know it’s over.
I hate that I’m suspended between relief and regret. Maybe it’s better this way. She can go on and find someone she deserves, someone who wants to give her all the things she wants.
I throw myself back down on the mattress, my chest still heaving as I suck in one sweet, cool breath after another. That fetid, hot air makes my stomach churn.
I can’t get the sound of Juno screaming out of my head. Why am I hearing it? Why won’t it go away, even now that she’s safe, now that she’s here?
My feet are practically burning, wanting to walk out into the yard. Just to check if the cabin is alright, that nothing’s happened to her. It’s stupid. But I just have to know. Just a quick check, just to calm my nerves.
I get out of bed, pulling on sweatpants and throwing my jacket on before stepping into my boots. It’s snowing when I step outside, the air icy cold.
There’s no moon, only the dim light from my cabin illuminating the courtyard. I walk along my porch, right to the very end, where I can catch a glimpse of Liall and Ebony’s cabin. It’s fine. Of course it is.
I’m an idiot.
“Can’t sleep?” Juno’s voice sounds from the darkness. She chuckles as I jump, and she walks down the steps of Liall and Ebony’s cabin, across the snow towards me. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“It’s OK.” I watch her come closer, a black coat wrapped around her, snow flecking her deep red hair. “I just had a bad dream, and I wanted to - to get some air.”
She comes up on my porch, her arms hugged around herself against the cold. “I had a bad dream, too,” she says, taking a seat on the bench. “Always the same one, always trying to breathe, and the air is hot and thick and I can’t see.”
“Yeah, that sounds terrible.” I sit down beside her.
“And you?”
I don’t know what to say. “Uh, just, you know, falling and stuff.”
“Hmmm.” She stretches her legs out in front of her. “Do you have a cigarette?”
“Decided you do smoke, huh?” I ask, retrieving the case from my pocket.
“I decided I might try it and see if I do.”
I take two cigarettes from the case and put them both between my lips, lighting them and handing her one. I watch as she inhales deeply, and she chuckles as the smoke spills from between her lips.
“Oh yes, I smoke,” she says with a throaty laugh. “That feels much too good.”
“It’s the tobacco. It's nothing like that shit the humans smoke. That stuff tastes like pure death.”
“Well this is delightful,” Juno says, crossing her ankles and pulling her shoulders up against the cold. “I needed this after that fucking dream.”
“Sorry I wasn’t there for you tonight.”
She shrugs. “It’s OK, I understand. You can’t be there with me every night. They’ll stop one day. They have to, right?”
“Sure. And you’ll remember everything again too, don’t worry.”
“It’s so strange,” she muses. “I keep going through this list in my head of everything I know about myself. I count it over and over in my head, one after another. And every time I reach the end of it, I think to myself - maybe this time the list will be longer. Maybe I’ll remember something new.” She laughs sadly as she flicks the ash onto the snow. “But I never do.”
