Troubled waters, p.11
Troubled Waters, page 11
“Dear? Are you okay?”
Macey whirled around to find her mother creeping down the stairs, a little hunched and looking very old. She grumbled, turned back to the stove, and resumed cleaning up the mess. She quickly resigned herself to the idea that her shirt and shorts were unsalvageable. Her mother was next to her before she could cover up the evidence of her incompetence. Evelyn had already taken a towel and was beginning to help her wipe it up.
“That sauce can bubble before you know it, can’t it?” her mother said with a smile and a light tap on her daughter’s back.
Macey sighed and went to finishing folding the napkins for the dinner table. “I just wasn’t paying attention, that’s all.”
“Well, it smells marvelous. It practically woke me up from a dead sleep!”
Macey finally felt the tension release from her shoulders. She managed a smile and said, “Really? It smells good?”
“Wonderful. The garlic. The oregano. Do I smell cheese?”
“Yes. I’m making garlic cheese bread, remember? Nothing fancy, but it tastes good.”
“That’s what counts,” Evelyn said cheerfully. “Can I help you with anything?”
“Do you have any candles? I like to eat dinner by candlelight,” Macey said, though it was a lie. She mostly ate by herself at restaurants or on her couch in front of the TV. She hoped she wasn’t being too obvious with the candlelight, but it was her mom’s house, so maybe Noah would think it was her mom’s idea.
Evelyn started hunting in the pantry. “I think we have a candle or two in here. I don’t know if any of them match. We usually only use them when the electricity goes out.”
Macey heard only every other word of her mother’s muffled voice, but when she emerged with two red candles, complete with brass holders, Macey grinned and handed her mother the matches. “Perfect.”
Dinner was just about complete. The pasta was all ready, so she poured it through the colander, the steam melting what little makeup she had on. She quickly transferred it to a serving dish, carefully poured the hot spaghetti sauce over the middle, and added fresh parsley for more color. Finally she topped it off with the sautéed mushrooms. Even though Andy had dumped her over a year ago, the one thing she took from him was how to make a simple meal look fancy. He’d taught her the art of garnish.
She opened the oven door and pulled out the garlic bread, the cheese bubbly and hot. Evelyn approached and peered over her shoulder. “My goodness! What a feast!”
Macey handed her the dish of pasta to take to the table while she scooped the bread into a basket. The canned green beans were heated through, so she seasoned them with a little sugar, salt, and soy sauce, and poured them into a serving bowl.
Just as she was about to check her watch to see how much time she had to go change, the doorbell rang. Evelyn opened the door, and in walked Noah and his two girls. Macey stared down at the mess on her clothes and shyly greeted each of them.
“Come in. Dinner is ready. Perfect timing,” she said, trying to cover up the stains on her shirt.
“Had the heat on too high, did you?” His finger pointed to her clothes, and that wicked little smirk of his was accompanied by a sparkle in his eyes.
“Thanks for noticing,” Macey quipped and then asked her mother to prepare the drinks while she flew upstairs to change.
As she climbed the stairs, she looked back down at Noah. His tall figure towered over her mother’s, and his booming voice had a soothing effect. The two girls beside him made her smile, but then a feeling of despair wrenched her heart and she looked away, taking the stairs as fast as she could.
With Macey, guilt always arrived at the most inopportune times.
———
It felt good to laugh. It wasn’t the type of laughing that’s concocted to impress a boss or to look casual in front of the camera when Walter the meteorologist makes a crack. And it wasn’t the type of laughing done alone, in front of the television set, to the predictable, mindless humor of a sitcom. This was laughter from the heart, and Macey made herself enjoy it.
Noah was sharing his previous life in the New York arts scene, telling unbelievable stories of greed and selfish ambition while trying to help his young girls eat, not wear, their meal. Macey leaned back in her chair and listened intently, laughing each time he made a funny remark, thankful that her mom seemed to be enjoying herself. It was hard to believe they’d buried her father just the day before.
Stephanie and Savannah asked if they could go outside and play in the tree house, and Noah told them to run along. The table, once elegant and organized, was now strewn with napkins, dirty plates, a half-empty basket of cold bread, and melting candles. Macey loved it all the same.
Evelyn went to the kitchen and returned with a fresh pot of coffee. The temperature in the house was finally cooling as the evening sun settled down through the windows, mellowing the day’s intensity. Macey doctored her coffee with precision and found herself staring at the man across the table. His deep-set blue eyes captivated her, his humor even more engaging. She had lost herself in thoughts of Noah when suddenly she heard him say, “And what about you?”
Macey blinked and realized how awkward she must look. She tried to smile, bringing her coffee cup to her lips. “Me?”
“I’ve been talking about myself all evening.”
“Well, you’re terribly interesting,” Macey offered, setting the cup down and twisting the napkin in her hands.
“Evelyn mentioned you’re a television anchor in Dallas. That’s pretty impressive.”
Macey shook her head and glanced at her mom, who was grinning with pride. “It’s not bad,” Macey said softly.
“Not bad at all,” Noah acknowledged. “That’s a big market. How long have you been there?”
“A few years. I came to Dallas from San Antonio. But there’s a chance—” Macey stopped and wondered if the two people sitting across from her would understand how big this really was—“there’s a chance I’ll be going to the network.”
Her mom smiled, nodding as though she knew what Macey just shared was something good but didn’t know what it meant exactly. Noah, however, leaned forward and raised his eyebrows. “No kidding? New York?”
“Probably. There’s a chance I may go with cable, which is in New Jersey. I don’t know much yet. Just that they’re interested in me.”
“How did this come about?” Noah asked. “I know enough about the network to know they don’t just seek out any news anchor.”
Macey smiled. She was glad he knew it was a big deal. “Well, I think I caught their eye during the Dallas fire last year.”
Evelyn sat back down after clearing some dishes. “I remember hearing about that.”
“Sure,” Noah added. “It looked like half of downtown was burned.”
Macey nodded. “Yes, it was really intense. I’m the noon news anchor, which of course isn’t the prime spot to be seen by talent scouts. But when the fire broke out, it was at eleven in the morning and so I was the one who covered it. The story went national, and there I was on every TV in America, covering the fire. It was sort of a fluke, I guess you could say.”
“But it wasn’t a fluke that they saw talent in you. They must’ve seen something good.”
Macey shrugged, avoiding his gaze. “Maybe. They want to talk to me. It would be a big break, that’s for sure.” Macey glanced over to see her mother staring into her coffee.
Evelyn looked up and said, “So you’re moving to New York City?”
“Nothing’s for sure yet, Mom. They just want to talk. There’s a whole lot of talking that goes on in this business. Only every once in a while does it mean something’s going to happen. There’s also a lot of competition. It’s horribly cutthroat.”
Evelyn’s eyes dropped back down to her coffee, and although her mom wore a small smile, Macey knew she wasn’t pleased. She sighed and stirred her own coffee, the atmosphere thickening almost immediately.
Then Evelyn stood up. “I bet those girls would want some ice cream, Noah. I’ve got strawberry out in the freezer.”
Noah laughed. “Evelyn, they’ve been filled up with junk all day, but I bet they’re not going to say no.”
Evelyn laughed a little but not in her usually gleeful way. She mumbled that she would go ask them and then went out the back door without another word.
Macey kept stirring her coffee. She watched her mom through the back bay window, talking and laughing with the girls. A deep-seated sadness swept over her, and she tried to take in a few deep breaths. She glanced at Noah, who she saw had been watching her all along.
“Your mom doesn’t approve,” he said.
Macey shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I care for my mom, but I’m not going to pass up an opportunity for my dream job just because she doesn’t want me living in New York. I haven’t seen her in seven—” Macey stopped, realizing she was saying more than she should.
“It must be hard for her, knowing she’s going to be alone from now on.”
Macey set down the spoon she was using to stir her coffee. “Are you trying to make me feel guilty?”
“Oh, I hardly think I need to contribute to that. You seem to be doing fine on your own.”
Macey’s eyes narrowed. “Why would you say such a thing?”
Noah fiddled with the tablecloth and, without looking at her, said, “You’re right. This is an opportunity of a lifetime. How could you pass it up?”
Macey folded her arms against her chest. “It must seem so cut and dried to you. But I assure you, this . . . this whole thing, it’s complicated. I’m sorry my mom’s going to be alone, but it’s not my fault. None of it’s my fault.”
“You’re right,” Noah said curtly.
“I don’t expect you to understand. You weren’t here when it all happened and . . .” Macey paused, swallowed. She’d done it again and was about to say too much. She looked at Noah.
“When what happened?”
“Daddy! Daddy!” The girls’ squealing made Macey’s heart jump. She hadn’t heard them come in. She looked to the back door and saw her mom slowly making her way up the steps. “Evelyn said we could have ice cream! Can we?”
Noah hugged both girls and told them they could. They ran to tell Evelyn and then skipped behind her out to the garage to the large freezer. Noah’s eyes followed them, a grin spread across his face. Macey stood and began clearing the rest of the dishes.
“Can I help you with that?” he asked from behind her. She nodded, though she really just wanted to be alone. Noah moved back and forth between the table and kitchen counter with dishes and leftovers in his hands. Macey stood at the sink, filling it with hot water, adding the soap. Evelyn and the girls came back in with a gallon of ice cream and cones, but Noah told them they had to eat their ice cream out on the back porch, so all three went back outside again. Macey started in on scrubbing the dishes, while Noah stepped to the sink to dry them.
It was silent for a time, except for the excited screams of the two girls and the gentle instruction from Evelyn on how to hold an ice cream cone so the ice cream doesn’t fall off. They both listened to the distant conversation until Noah said, “The candles were a nice touch.”
Macey handed him a plate. “Excuse me?”
“The candles. I’ve eaten here many times before and never seen candles on the table. They were nice.”
Macey swallowed. Was he being serious or giving her some coded message like he was apt to do? Was he seeing right through her? And why did he have to stare at her like that?
“You’re dripping water everywhere,” she pointed out, and he smiled as he went back to drying the dishes.
As they finished the last glass and Macey began putting the dishes back in the cupboard, she suddenly felt compelled to say, “I’m leaving tomorrow.”
He looked at her as if he wasn’t the least bit surprised. He just nodded and continued to hand her dishes.
“You probably think I’m horrible.”
“Why would I think that?” he said innocently.
She frowned and closed the cupboard. “Because I’m leaving. I should stay. Be the loyal daughter. Take care of my grieving mother. Et cetera.”
His expression, as usual, gave her no indication as to what he was thinking. But it was a moot point, as the girls and her mother were on their way back inside, laughing and complaining about how sticky they were.
“Look at you two!” Noah said. He scooped them up with no regard for their dirty hands. He kissed them both, set them down, and ordered them over to the sink. “It looks like you rolled in the ice cream! Did any of it get into your stomachs?”
They both giggled as they fought over who would wash their hands first. Evelyn helped sort them out and made sure they both had soap. The whole idea of the evening—a romantic dinner with the stranger from across the river—mingled with the reality of why she’d returned home, leaving Macey standing in the kitchen feeling suffocated.
She quietly moved to the living area unnoticed and stared out the bay window, only half listening to the sounds in the kitchen. Her tired mind pondered the last couple of days, what it all had meant. She was shocked at the impact all of this should’ve had, yet how so much had been left unresolved, and always would. Tomorrow morning she would pack her things, kiss her mom good-bye, promise to call and write more, and return to her life in Dallas, the life she was accustomed to. She would pretend, as she had for the better part of seventeen years, to live day to day and lay aside matters of the heart.
A tugging at the bottom of her shirt made her look down where she found one of the twins, her dramatic emerald eyes wide and engaging. “I’m Savannah,” the girl announced, apparently feeling the need to make clear which one she was. “You didn’t eat any ice cream.”
Macey smiled and bent to her level. She wanted to reach out and touch her silky white hair. Instead, she nodded and said, “No. But I should have. A person should never pass up ice cream.”
Savannah agreed with a grin, then turned serious again. “You look sad.”
Macey looked around to see if anyone had heard this, but the rest were still in the kitchen and out of earshot. She didn’t know how to respond, so she asked, “I do?”
“Your eyes. Daddy says you can always tell people are sad by looking at their eyes.”
“Oh.” Macey tried to think of a way to change the subject. But Savannah continued.
“Are you sad because your daddy died? My mommy died. But I was a baby and I don’t remember. I just see her in pictures. My daddy says she was a wonderful mommy. Are you a mommy, too?”
The questions overwhelmed Macey so that tears moistened her eyes. She didn’t know how to answer the little girl. Savannah had barely taken a breath before she asked, “Have you prayed to Jesus?”
Again Macey was caught off guard and thought to herself how uncouth children could be. Didn’t they understand you shouldn’t talk about personal relationships or religion with people you don’t know very well?
“Jesus helped my daddy when my mommy died, and we pray to Him every night before we go to bed. There was this mean boy at school and Stephanie and me prayed that Jesus would help that boy not be mean, and now he doesn’t pick on me anymore.”
Macey nodded, tried smiling, but inside she was trembling.
“Your daddy was a nice man,” said Savannah, pointing up at a picture on the nearby TV. “He always took us out to the farm. He loved Jesus, too.”
Macey ran her fingers through her hair and stood, afraid she wasn’t getting enough oxygen. Savannah stared up at her with questioning eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, fine,” Macey said. She wondered why in the world everyone was staying in the kitchen so long. “You like school, do you?” The attempt to change the subject somehow didn’t faze the young girl, and now she was cocking her head to the side and folding her arms together.
“Jesus lives in my heart. Is He in your heart?”
Just as Macey was going to make another attempt at changing the subject, Noah walked in, smiling as the other girl clung to his leg. Macey sighed in relief, believing Noah would step in and quietly mention to Savannah that it’s not polite to ask people about their religious beliefs. But instead, as Savannah continued to talk about Jesus, Noah simply listened and beamed with pride.
Savannah’s speech finally ended with, “Are you saved?”
Swallowing hard, Macey looked at Noah, who seemed just as intent on hearing the answer as the three-and-a-half-footer standing in front of her. Even Stephanie showed some interest while fiddling with the change in Noah’s pocket.
Macey bit down on the thumbnail on her left hand, not knowing what to say.
Savannah turned to her father and said, “Daddy, she isn’t answering the question. Is this the time I should tell her about hell?”
Macey’s eyes widened in horror. She waited for Noah to reprimand his daughter, but he simply told her lightheartedly, “No. This is the time you should tell her about how much Jesus loves her.” He glanced at Macey and said, “This is making you uncomfortable?”
Her eyes narrowed just as she tasted blood. She swallowed the pieces of fingernail in her mouth and said, “You know, if she could just throw in a question about my political affiliation, then I’d be feeling really comfortable. Religion and politics. That’d be just perfect.”
Noah’s large hand found Savannah’s shoulder. “Well, around these parts, no one has to ask what someone’s political affiliation is. We all know. As far as religion, I think it would be hypocritical of me to raise my family Christian and then ask my children not to share their faith. Don’t you?”
