Big island gardens, p.7
Big Island Gardens, page 7
“You might have started a trend,” Lani said as she swiped one of Tenn’s fries. “The other playschool families are going to ask if they can rent the space out for birthday parties too.”
“I could roll with that.” Tenn’s smile was easy and content, but there was a deep fatigue beneath it that worried her. Guilt pulled at her, like it always did when she thought of the source of his pain, but she pushed it away.
Olvia’s grandparents hadn’t come to the birthday party. They had dropped by the house that morning with a box of birthday donuts and a gift. Ken was polite, but Sonya hadn’t so much as glanced at Lani during the hour that they were there. They would be back that night to spirit Olivia away for a special birthday trip to a Kona resort, and Rory had cried for an hour when Lani explained to her that only Olivia was going.
Rory and Olivia were very nearly sisters these days. Although Lani and Rory still technically lived in the ‘ohana unit of the Kealoha place, they hadn’t spent the night there in weeks.
They had effectively moved in with Tenn, first because Lani was determined to nurse him back to health and then because there was simply no place else they would rather be.
What’s more, Tenn wanted them there. And Olivia didn’t seem to mind; Rory adored her, and she enjoyed having her around, even if it meant sharing her room and everything else.
Basically, they had gone full Brady Bunch.
But how long could that last without his parents’ blessing?
Ken and Sonya were a huge part of Olivia’s life. They had essentially parented her alongside Tenn for most of her life, making it possible for him to run a business and raise a little girl on his own.
When Lani came on the scene, picking Olivia up from the co-op and doing other things that her grandparents had been responsible for, she didn’t know if she was relieving them of a burden or stepping on their toes. A little bit of both, maybe, but they had tolerated her.
Up until she got Tenn shot.
Now Sonya treated her like an unwelcome interloper, and it was creating a tension between Tenn and his mother that Lani hated to see.
How long could a relationship survive that kind of strain?
The kitchen door opened and one of the chefs peeked through, holding the coconut haupia cake that Olivia had requested.
Pushing her worries aside, Lani hopped up and switched off the lights. Sunlight still flooded in from the front windows, but the back of the restaurant was shadowed enough for the seven candle flames atop Oliva’s cake to shine.
Flanked by Lani and Tenn, the chef carried the cake through to the birthday girl while the kids sang a speedy, off-key rendition of the birthday song. The man had known Oliva her whole life, and he grinned like a proud uncle as he presented her with the fluffy white cake. A cheer went up when Oliva blew out the candles on her first try.
After the cake was served and devoured, they herded the kids down the street to the playground to give them space to burn off the sugar rush.
It was a blazing blue-sky day, so bright that the kids filled buckets at a spigot and dumped them down the slide to cool the hot plastic. Inevitably that led to kids dumping buckets of water on each other, shrieking with laughter as they fled or retaliated.
Lani and Tenn settled onto a bench to watch the happy chaos.
“Good party?” Tenn asked, draping an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him and sighed. In that moment, she was perfectly content.
“The best.”
11
Nell
Nell opened the windows of the community center playroom to let in the fresh morning air. She stood there for a moment, swaying from side to side with Everett in her arms as she looked out over the community garden. Cassie was out there with ‘Ōlena’s girls, chasing after the bright green anole lizards that had ventured out in search of sunlight.
She pulled herself away from the window and settled Everett in his playpen so that she could set out the morning activity. The kids would start their day out on the play structure, but she liked to have something ready for them when they came inside; it made for a smoother transition.
Today she rolled out a long strip of butcher paper and set out a collection of toys and tools that ‘Ōlena had collected from the transfer station. There were cars and trucks, plastic cookie cutters, and sponges cut into various shapes. She would wait until the last minute to pour out the paint, but she set out the bottles and containers as well.
Everett started to fuss just as she was finishing up, and she scooped him up out of the playpen. There was a pile of pillows in one corner surrounded by bookshelves, and she settled down to nurse him before the other families arrived.
When her mom called, she almost didn’t answer. She had hardly spoken to her in months, because conversations with her mother had a way of tanking her mood regardless of whether it was high or already low. But the longer she went without speaking to her, the more the guilt tended to build. And so she hit the green circle just before the call went to voicemail.
“Hey Mom,” she answered.
“No, I told you to plant that one in back!” Vicki said, her voice sharp. “Nell! I didn’t think you’d pick up.”
“I just have a few minutes before kids start arriving.”
“People these days can’t follow the most basic instructions. These gardeners keep killing my hibiscus bushes, even though they’re the easiest things in the world to grow.”
Easy in the tropics, Nell thought. She didn’t suppose they were so easy to grow in the mainland suburb her mother had settled in, but she knew better than to speak up over something so trivial. Vicki would immediately take offense and turn it into a fight.
“Have you found a house yet?”
“No.” Nell closed her eyes and pushed away the dismal listings that were burned into her brain, all of them too far and too expensive to even bother applying.
“I told you to apply for Section Eight.”
“I did. There’s a crazy wait list here.”
“You can’t live in a shelter with your kids. Big Brother will hand them right over to that nightmare of a man that you married. Or foster care, which might be a step up from that father of theirs. Say what you will about me as a mother, but at least I chose well when it came to your dad.”
Nell couldn’t argue with that. Her dad had been just about perfect – and basically a saint for putting up with her mother for all of those years, as far as Nell was concerned.
How had her father’s daughter ended up with someone like Sid? Tears pricked her eyes as the question rose up for the umpteenth time.
He’d seemed okay at first. Charming, full of energy. And by the time his behavior had taken a sharp downward turn, they already had Cassie.
She let out a breath and switched Everett to the other side, praying that the cortisol in her bloodstream didn’t transfer into her milk.
“Nell?” Vicki’s voice was a demand. “Did you hang up on me?”
“I’m here, Mom.”
“Do you have a court date yet?”
“The preliminary hearing is on Friday.”
“And you have representation?”
“Yes.” Her stress ebbed away as she thought of Hugh. It was such a comfort to have him in her corner; she wasn’t sure she could have navigated the court process alone (on top of everything else) without having a mental breakdown.
“A good one?”
“A very good one. He’s amazing, Mom. He took my case basically pro bono, just a nominal retainer fee.”
Vicki was silent for a moment. When she spoke again, her voice was even sharper than usual. “Why would he do that?”
“He likes to give back where he can, I guess.”
“To vulnerable women? Beautiful young mothers? I don’t like it.”
Indignation spiked in Nell’s chest, so fiery that it came close to rage. “It’s not like that.”
“Don’t be naive. No man is going to give you something for nothing. There are always expectations.”
“It’s not like that,” Nell repeated. Her voice came out tight as she repressed an urge to shout the words. Her mother infuriated her like no one else could. “He’s friends with my boss. His daughter comes to the co-op sometimes.”
“You’d be an idiot to get involved with him. Or with anyone else. Now’s not the time.”
Nell clenched her teeth together, holding back another shout.
Everett popped off and reached for a board book; she yanked her shirt back into place and set him down.
“That’s how people are here,” Nell said when she regained her ability to speak softly. “They help each other. It’s the Aloha Spirit of Hawaii.”
“So they say,” Vicki scoffed. “That was never my experience. The locals were very insular. I was never allowed into the inner circle, not even after twenty years in Kainaliu.”
That had little to do with Hawaii and everything to do with her mother’s personality, but Nell knew better than to say anything.
“Men are men, wherever you go.”
“What about Dad?”
“He was different.” Vicki’s voice softened for just a moment. Almost immediately, it took back its usual edge. “One in a million. And in spite of growing up with an extraordinary father, your track record on choosing men is atrocious.”
Nell just sighed and pushed herself to her feet. Vicki wasn’t wrong, though it seemed unfair to be condemned for one bad choice. It wasn’t as if she’d gone through a string of terrible men. She’d just chosen poorly… and stayed too long.
But how could she possibly regret the choices that had given her the perfect little cherub at her feet? Everett was all arm rolls and fiery hair. He looked up at her with his perfect smile, two new teeth shining like pearls, and she lifted him to her hip.
She had no regrets. She couldn’t.
“I have to go,” she told Vicki. “School’s about to start.”
She half expected another acerbic remark about how a play-based daycare program was hardly a school. But Vicki surprised her, as she sometimes did.
“I love you, Nell.” The words were heartfelt enough to remind her of why she put up with the rest of it, all her mother’s spikes and spines. “You’re stronger than you think.”
“I love you too. I’ll let you know how the hearing goes on Friday.”
She hung up and set her phone to airplane mode before tucking it into her dress, which had deep pockets hidden in the full skirt. It was a transfer station find, a quality vintage dress made of thick cotton, and it was her favorite.
She had worn and washed it so many times that the deep blue had faded to a pale periwinkle, but the color still suited her. It made her hair that much brighter and highlighted the modest tan that her skin managed to hold beneath all the freckles.
Cassie loved the swish of the knee-length skirt, and so did Nell. It was funny how far a dress could go towards making her feel more human.
Out on the playground, families were gathering for morning dropoff. Cassie trailed after Paige, who was leading the younger kids through some intricate game involving a queen and her ladies in waiting.
Nell watched as Daisy joined in, braver now than she had been on the first day. Hugh’s daughter had known some of these kids all her life, but diving back into an established group after months away could be intimidating.
“Thanks for helping her readjust,” Hugh said, as if in response to her thoughts. He closed the space between them, coming to stand beside her at the edge of the park lawn. “The back and forth can be hard.”
“No kidding,” she said on a sigh.
“Supervised visitation was rough?”
She glanced around to make sure none of the other parents were within earshot before saying, “Cassie sobbed. Everett wailed. I felt terrible for putting them in that position in the first place, but I don’t see what else I could have done. It was a nightmare.”
“It’ll get easier.” Hugh’s voice was soft, and Vicki’s unwelcome words echoed in Nell’s mind. She tried to banish them, but the conversation with her mother had made her even more self-conscious than usual.
She shifted Everett to her other hip, holding the baby between them like a human shield.
But babies have a way of bringing barriers down rather than holding them up. Everett grinned up at Hugh, showing off his new teeth. Hugh returned the smile, holding nothing back, and Nell’s heart did a dangerous summersault against her ribs.
Then Everett reached for Hugh, throwing his bodyweight away from Nell so quickly that she swayed back and forth, regaining her balance. Hugh looked at her with a question in his dark eyes, and she handed Everett over. The muscles in her arms burned with relief, always one step behind her rapidly growing boy.
Hugh held him with the ease of an experienced father, leaning with him and lifting him in ways that made Everett cackle with laughter. Nell’s heart ached as she tried to remember the last time she had heard such a deep belly laugh from her baby – but a moment later, she was laughing too. So was Hugh. Everett’s joy was irresistible.
Across the lawn, ‘Ōlena watched them with an expression Nell couldn’t decipher.
“Daddy! Daddy!” Daisy ran across the lawn and skidded to a stop in front of them. “Where’s my lunch bag?”
“Didn’t you bring it?” he asked.
“No! I thought you made it!” She threw her hands up in the air and wailed, “I’m going to starve!”
Hugh chuckled, a dangerously delicious sound. “I definitely packed a lunch. And you carried it to the car, remember? Go check your seat.”
Nell’s eyes followed Daisy as she ran to the car, and they caught on the surfboards tied to the top. She glanced at Hugh and asked, “You surf?”
“I’m Hawaiian, aren’t I?” He grinned and she glanced away, blinking like she would after accidentally looking straight into the sun. “Do you surf?”
“Not since Cassie was born.” She had kept it up as long as she could, but she had finally stopped when her belly got big.
After that, she had never been away from her baby. She’d traded big waves for tide pools and never regretted it… but in that moment, she felt a twinge of grief.
Surfing had been a big part of her identity once. Her favorite thing to do. And now she could hardly remember what it felt like to be out on the water.
“She’s just about old enough to learn,” Hugh said.
“Does Daisy surf?” she asked in surprise. The little girl sprinted past them, dropping a lunch box at Nell’s feet without stopping.
Hugh laughed again and said, “She can stand up when I push her into waves. We surf tandem sometimes.”
“That’s amazing.”
“I get out on the water as often as I can. Just about every morning, and usually at sunset too. There’s a peace out there that’s hard for me to find on land. But when I’m riding a wave, or even just paddling up the coast when the water’s flat… I don’t know. I feel like myself.”
Nell looked at him while he talked, taking in the broad muscles beneath his collared cotton shirt. She had thought when she met him that he looked more like a surfer than a lawyer, and she’d been right.
The moment he glanced down at her, she looked away.
Hugh outlasted most of the parents, hanging near the playground until it was time for the kids to go inside. Only then did he finally hand Everett back to Nell – reluctantly, it seemed to her – and go to hug his daughter goodbye.
The older girls took it upon themselves to round up the little kids, making a game out of getting them into two lines, and ‘Ōlena sidled up to Nell.
“What?” Nell demanded when her friend gave her another sideways look.
“You can’t date your family law attorney.”
“I know that!” Blood rushed up her neck and flooded her cheeks. “I’m not.”
‘Ōlena just hummed in response, her expression skeptical.
“I’m not. I wouldn’t.”
“But you want to.”
“I don’t want to date anyone,” Nell insisted. “Not now. Not ever. I’m done.”
“I don’t believe you.” ‘Ōlena’s tone was teasing now, and she moved away to lead the kids inside. Nell could only sigh. Because she hadn’t realized it until that moment… but she didn’t believe herself either.
12
Emma
Anxiety chewed at Emma’s stomach as she pulled into the tiny parking lot at the airport, waiting for her brother to get off of the plane. He and Juniper had flown into Hilo, saving her a drive across the island to the Kona airport.
Ethan’s ticket was a round trip, just a couple of days on island. Juniper’s was one way, her stay indefinite.
Too nervous to stew in silence, Emma picked up her phone and called her big sister.
“What’s up?” Toni answered on the first ring. “They there yet?”
“They just landed,” she confirmed. “I’m waiting for them to come out.”
“So what’s up?” she asked again.
“I’m nervous about Juniper coming to stay,” Emma admitted. “I don’t know how to take care of a teenager.”
“It’s Jun.” Toni sounded baffled. “You’ve known her your whole life.”
“I know how to take care of kids. And babies. I’m great with babies. But I don’t know how to parent a seventeen year old.”
“You don’t parent her.” Toni had been taking care of Juniper for a year, but she’d never had any kids of her own. Emma wondered if that was actually a plus, in this situation. She saw Juniper for the person she was, unmarred by the lens of motherhood.
Emma and Ethan looked at Juniper and saw the little girl she’d been. Maybe Toni looked at her and just saw… her.
“She doesn’t need another mother,” Toni continued.
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“She needs a friend.”
