“Gordon says you loved me once.” His hand dropped to his side as he shifted his stance. “I find it difficult to believe such an intelligent woman would allow her heart to be stolen by one who couldn’t return her love.”

  I took a step away from him, knowing it was pointless. He moved way faster than me. “I do some pretty stupid shit sometimes,” I mumbled.

  “Maybe. Can we sit and talk?”

  I hesitated. My heart wanted to tell him everything, but my mind knew I couldn’t. I refused to throw away the sacrifices he made because of my stupid heart.

  “I can give you a few minutes.” I turned my back on him and headed to the living room, leaving my suitcase in the hall.

  I dropped into one of the over-stuffed chairs. He sat on the sofa closest to me and draped his arm over the back cushion. He didn’t fool me with his attempt to act nonchalant. I knew him too well.

  He searched my face for several seconds, but I refused to start the conversation.

  A frustrated breath escaped his lips. “Why did you save me from Yutaka’s ambush?”

  I wanted to say the thought of him dying turned me into a raging beast, but I didn’t. “I’m a Dionadair. It’s what I do.”

  “The fae have not defended the magical world in centuries and have never defended the vampires,” he said, crossing his ankle over his knee. “Try again.”

  “The fae realized they were being stupid and decided inaction would kill us all,” I retorted. “Yutaka would have taken every one of the vampires to Trom Laighe.” I almost pulled my knees to my chest to hug them, but I stopped at the last second. It would make me look weak and insecure. “You’re the best leader for the vampires, Braden. I couldn’t let him kill you.”

  He scoffed and dropped both feet on the floor, leaning towards me. His eyes flared red and his shirt stretched across his shoulders. “The best leader would not have trapped them in a magical bubble to be slaughtered by their enemies.”

  “We had no idea their shadows would consume the fae magic,” I argued. “They attacked the Oceanic Kingdom yesterday. We barely stopped them from tearing down the shield. Have you already forgotten why the vampires were Sabina’s first target?”

  I glared at him, and his lips pulled into a thin line.

  “You were their biggest threat, Braden,” I continued when he didn’t respond. “They didn’t attack in force until they knew your numbers were small enough to defeat. No one could’ve stopped them. Even though I tried.”

  I pulled my eyes from his and clasped my hands together. “I wish the Dionadair would have been selected a while ago. We may have been able to prevent the attack on your people. We could’ve stopped Sabina before she covered her kingdom in a dome we can’t penetrate.” I waved a hand towards him. “Woulda, shoulda, coulda. Doesn’t matter now.”

  “I can help you fight them,” Braden offered.

  I met his gaze and shook my head. “No. You need to do what you do best.” I ignored his snarl. “Work in the background to keep your current empire strong. The vampires will need a leader when this is over.”

  He leaned back again and looked at me, not even trying to hide his cautious expression.

  “You have a large sum of money in the account I set up for you,” he finally said, changing the subject. “Why have you not spent it?”

  I laughed. Where had that come from? “I don’t have any expenses,” I replied. “The fae provide me with food and a place to live. You gave me this house and continue to pay for upkeep. I don’t have a car. So what would I spend it on?”

  He frowned but didn’t take his eyes from mine. “You have enough money to buy anything you want, yet you don’t.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I was never a material girl.” He smiled at my 80’s rock-n-roll reference, letting me see the man I knew he could be.

  “Well, it’s there for you to use however you wish,” he said, rising to his feet. “Thank you for giving me answers, even if they weren’t the ones I wanted to hear.”

  I stood with him, clasping my hands behind my back to keep them still. “I’d like to remove my things from your spare room in London,” I mumbled, wanting to say so much more.

  “As you wish, little goddess.”

  I searched his eyes, hoping to see a glimpse of the Braden I loved. He read me like a fricking book. A devious grin spread across his face, the same smile he’d given me before our blood oath. Before he regained his soul. Before Dusha bound his spirit to mine.

  The smile on Braden’s face held no love, compassion, or genuine longing. Only his desire to cage me. Anger replaced my hope. He was playing with my emotions like any other vampire.

  “See yourself out,” I snapped. “I have things to do.”

  I left him standing in my living room as I stomped down the hall. I snatched up my suitcase and slammed the bedroom door as soon as I crossed the threshold. Tears clouded my vision, and I wiped at them with the back of my hand. He was no longer mine, and I had no way of getting him back. I knew that and had worked on accepting it, but damn, it hurt.

  From this point on, I was done grieving my loss. It was stupid to keep holding onto the past, just like Lodron had told me a hundred times.

  I drew in several deep breaths and let them go. Maybe I’d go to his apartment in London now. There’d be no risk of running into him while I packed up my stuff. Yep. Definitely happening. I pulled my large suitcase from the closet and took both to London.

  Chapter 14

  After hanging up one last outfit in the wardrobe in my small bedroom at the Dionadair tower, I zipped up my now empty suitcases. Thousands of dollars’ worth of clothes hung in the ornate wooden cabinet. Gifts from Braden. Gifts I’d sworn I wouldn’t keep because I didn’t want reminders of him.

  My fingers trailed the silky sleeve of one of the shirts. I really did need to give them to charity as soon as I had a few minutes to spare. As Braden had said, I had enough money to buy anything I wanted. I could buy a new wardrobe.

  “Those don’t look like fightin’ clothes.” I spun around at Matt’s deep voice. He leaned against the frame of my open door, wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt.

  “No, they aren’t.” I gently closed the wardrobe and pushed my suitcase into a corner next to it. “Is it time for round two of our training?”

  “Yeah.” He pushed off the frame and blocked the door with his enormous body. “You okay?”

  “Always.”

  His muscled arms crossed over his chest, and I grinned at his stern look.

  “I’m here if you need me,” he said.

  “I need a bear hug, but I’ll settle for a puppy.”

  His deep laugh made me feel better, and his smothering hug lightened the heaviness in my chest.

  “I’ll hug you anytime.” His breath ruffled the top of my hair.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled into his chest. “Let’s go see what trouble we can get into.”

  He offered his elbow to me, and I laced my arm in his.

  “I took the room right next to yours,” Matt whispered conspiratorially. “I think the elf claimed the one on the other side.”

  I rolled my eyes and closed my door, letting him lead me to the stairwell.

  “I don’t see myself spending too many nights here,” I said. “I’m comfortable in my new home with the fae. So unless they start treating me like shit, I’ll probably stay there.”

  We reached the stairwell, and he let me go in front of him.

  “I don’t plan to leave the lodge either, but not everyone has the same support.”

  I hadn’t thought about it that way. Maldrius probably didn’t have a positive support structure based on his earlier comments. If he confronted the Elvin king about his divided loyalties, the king might kick him out. Which would totally suck.

  Would Vince and Blaire move into the tower full time? They were just guests in Nardan’s castle, so they really didn’t have anything to give up. Dylan was way too social to leave the fae behind for this isolation, and I suspected Ronquil would want to stay close to his family.

  I knew nothing about the mages or Yera.

  “You’re probably right,” I agreed.

  When we reached the living area, almost everyone was already there. It looked like the only ones missing were me, Matt, and Maldrius. An uncomfortable silence permeated the room as we made our way to one of the wooden seats.

  “I’m bringing cushions for these,” I muttered, plopping my butt onto a hard chair.

  Heidi giggled. “Phoebe said the same thing.”

  “They’re awful,” the other mage whined.

  “Anyone have color preferences?” I grinned at the two women. “I’m leaning towards dark, earthy tones. Maybe burnt orange and forest green with a splash of eggplant.”

  “Yes!” Blaire said, joining in our girlie moment. “Maybe an area rug or two.”

  “As long as it’s comfortable, I don’t even care,” Matt added. “I guess we don’t have electricity or cable out here, do we? I’d love to kick back and watch some TV.”

  The mood lightened considerably as talk turned to mundane things, like decorating our rooms and stocking the kitchen.

  At some point in our conversation, Maldrius slid into the chair next to me. I hadn’t noticed him sitting there until he and Matt started talking.

  “Now that everyone is here, let’s get started.” Sinead, Ronquil’s water elemental, suddenly appeared behind his chair.

  I stifled a laugh when he jumped. His fire elemental joined her, trailing a finger along Ronquil’s shoulder. He shivered, and I giggled, knowing exactly what she did to him. Poor guy.

  “We’ll be pairing you up based on your perceived weaknesses. I will not reveal what you’ve decided. You can discuss it with your training partner when we go back to the arena,” Sinead continued, cutting her eyes at her sister elemental with a disapproving frown before turning back to the group. “Blaire and Vince are already paired perfectly. It’s impressive that they did it on their own before accepting their current roles. We’ll leave you two together.”

  The pair smiled at each other, and a blush raced across Blaire’s pale skin.

  “Yera and Matt will balance each other nicely,” the elemental continued. I didn’t hide my disappointment. “Ronquil and Phoebe will work with Dylan and Heidi.”

  Ronquil flinched, then shot daggers at me with his eyes. I gave him my best ‘told you so’ look. He gave it back to me, and I scowled.

  “That leaves Alisandra and Maldrius.” Sinead slid to the other side of Ronquil’s chair, losing form for a second with her movement. “The person chosen for you will help you overcome your perceived weakness. They will also learn to bolster their own strengths to fill in the gap.” She looked around the room with a smile. “I suggest talking to each other first.”

  “Use your time this afternoon wisely,” the fire elemental purred. “Tomorrow, you are mine.”

  The flames danced in her eyes, and a smile parted her lips. Everything about her look was sinister, not playful. I shivered.

  No need to worry, Alisandra, my own fire elemental said in my mind. She’s a drama queen.

  Thanks. She’s a little scary.

  Adeen chuckled, and I let my anxiety fade. Matt stood, and I looked up at his grinning face. Even his eyes seemed to smile.

  “I can’t wait to see what Yera can do!” He quickly crossed the space to his partner, who met him with a nod. I watched them leave the tower just behind the mages and other fae.

  “I suspected they would put us together,” Maldrius muttered at my side.

  “Why is that?” I asked, turning to face him but not getting out of my seat. I’d suspected the same thing, but I didn’t like it. He’d been nothing but an ass to me.

  “I have no magic,” he replied, “and you are the most competent at using yours. I would prefer to learn from someone who has had time to get to know themselves, but you’ve proven to be a quick study.”

  I snorted and covered my mouth to stop my laugh. He couldn’t seriously think I was the best person to teach him. The elf glared at me.

  “I’m not laughing at you,” I explained. “Just your ridiculous comment about me. I have more flaws than all the rest of you put together. Not to mention, I was a non-magical human until this past spring.”

  “I’m aware of your history, but it doesn’t change the fact that you have the best knowledge about your elementals.”

  “Regardless.” I waved my hand at him dismissively. “You do have magic. You have four elementals who will teach you to do some really cool shit. I need you to show me how to not get my ass kicked in a fist fight.”

  His eyebrows rose to his hairline. “I refuse to believe you cannot fight.”

  “Believe whatever you want. I suck at hand-to-hand combat. I always have to use magic to win.”

  I expected him to give me the same song and dance as everyone else, telling me to just use my magic. I even prepared my argument about Sabina’s magic-free kingdom and how I needed to be able to face her warriors with a plain old weapon.

  “I understand, especially for someone as small as you,” Maldrius replied, surprising me. No argument? He stood and offered me his hand. “I agree to teach you how to kick ass without your magic, if you show me how to kick ass with it.”

  A broad smile spread across my face as I rose to my feet and took his hand. “Agreed.” Maybe I could like this man. I’d seen a side of him today that I didn’t believe existed.

  He released my hand and bowed. “After you, Alisandra.”

  I curtsied, making him laugh, which came out as a harsh, guttural sound. Whatever happened to his neck had definitely done damage to his vocal cords. Not that I couldn’t already tell from his speech alone.

  “Please call me AJ. Alisandra is so…formal and stuffy.”

  “And you are definitely not formal, despite that cute little bow.”

  “I feel like that’s an insult, Mal,” I teased, heading for the door. “Do you mind if I call you Mal?”

  He didn’t answer, so I turned around to look at him. He stared at me from across the room with a strange look. He hadn’t followed me to the door.

  “Sorry. My filter doesn’t always work like it should,” I said. “I’ll stick with Maldrius.”

  He shook his head, and the look faded. “No, Mal is fine. I was considering my own words. I didn’t mean it as an insult.” He quickly walked across the room and pushed open the door.

  “I was teasing,” I said. “I didn’t really take it as an insult, mostly because it’s true. I’m pretty unrefined.”

  He shook his head again but didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure what to think, so I kept my mouth shut as we made our way to the training arena.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~

  The afternoon flew by. Mal and I decided to work with his elementals first. It was more important for him to get familiar with his new magic than it was for me to learn something I might not need in the immediate future.

  I quickly realized I loved teaching, and the elf was an astounding student. I rarely had to criticize anything he did because he always beat me to it. He was way harder on himself than I ever would’ve been.

  We started with the basics of earth and water, then moved to air. He learned so quickly, and he put his full effort into everything. No wonder he was the best fighter in the Elvin kingdom. His king would be royally pissed if Mal decided to permanently leave.

  A gust of air threw me on my ass, and I glared at my pupil.

  “You were distracted,” he said.

  “Obviously,” I quipped, getting back on my feet. “Are you ready for fire?”

  He nodded with an eager determination.

  “First, a demonstration.” I looked around the room for Dylan, finding him easily. “Dylan! Toss me a fireball. Fire only.”

  The fae spun around and grinned at me. “What size?”

  “As big as you can make it without burning the house down.”

  He nodded and rubbed his hands together. As they separated, a glowing red fire spread between them. I turned my back to Dylan and gave Mal a stern look.

  “Do not try to catch it,” I warned.

  Gasps filled the room, and a wave of warmth exploded across my back. Flames licked the exposed skin on my neck and singed the ends of my hair but didn’t burn me. My armor protected me from most magic, but so did my elements.

  “How is that possible?” Phoebe cried from across the room.

  Mal stared at me wide-eyed. “Can I do that?”

  “Fire alone doesn’t hurt us,” I replied loud enough for everyone to hear. “Just like air doesn’t. But mixing the two is a whole different story.” I swiveled to look at our group. “I mention it only because you might need to get someone off your partner’s back. You can confidently throw a ball of fire at your fellow Dionadair. Hopefully the bastard trying to stab your partner in the back won’t be immune to the inferno you unleash.”

  “What happens when I mix fire and air?” my partner asked. His needy grin was not at all nice.

  I smiled back and summoned my glaive. Its fiery blade glowed blue, and red flames danced on the edges.

  “I haven’t found anything that can withstand it,” I replied.

  A look of longing consumed his features. The master fighter wanted a master weapon. I wasn’t sure he could make one.

  “Tell me I can do that,” Maldrius demanded.

  “I wish I could, but it’s a discussion you’ll have to have with your elementals.”

  He nodded, his obsessive stare fading. I almost felt bad for his elementals. I could only imagine the conversation he would have with them. He wouldn’t accept no as an answer.

  “Back to fire,” he said.

  “Yep.”

  He latched onto fire’s destruction with a little too much enthusiasm. Was it my place to point it out? Or should I just mention it to Ronquil and let him do it? No, it didn’t feel right to dump it on my friend Ron. If Mal didn’t temper his enthusiasm, we’d have a talk.

  After another hour, Mal and I leaned against the wall covered in sweat and dirt.

  “I need a drink and food,” I grumbled.

 

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